The Steeple Times

Tag: Brexit

  • Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown

    Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown

    Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin)

    Having found myself ensconced in East Anglia for five weeks now –never did I imagine myself staying in a rural place so long – and having not actually got into a car or visited a town in that period, I busy my days reading, writing and walking a bit. It’s been especially strange not to physically see friends and I can’t say I’ve fathomed ‘House Party,’ but my telephone device has certainly seen more Bob Hoskins-esque “It’s Good To Talk” action than ever before.

     

    Whilst most people will tell you Netflix has been their best source of entertainment during this period and I will most certainly join them in commending ‘binge watching’ Ozark, I’ve found time to do things that I’ve always put-off such as clear out my iPhone’s address book and chuck out paperwork I’m never going to actually get round to dealing with. It’s been a time to read and reflect and an opportunity to listen to music a little more often and here follows a few other ‘lockdown discoveries’ of mine that you might find useful:

     

    Harvey Nichols

    Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown – Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin).

    Nobody would imagine that Patsy and Edina’s favourite shop, Harvey Nichols, would be the bargain food and drink store of the lockdown, but given they don’t charge for next-day delivery wherever you are in the UK and there’s no minimum spend, here is an unbeatable service. Unlike some greedy online booze retailers (some of whom have actually increased their prices and introduced preposterously high delivery charges to coincide with us all being stuck at home), you can get a bottle of the heather-hinted, 43% ABV Edinburgh Gin for just £32, a jar of highly addictive ginger and chilli jam for £3.95 or an utterly delicious asparagus and shrimp risotto that feeds two for just £5.95. Add half a glass of white wine and Bob’s Your Uncle and Fanny’s Your Aunt.

     

    Podcasts and Radio Plays

    Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown – Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin).

    I’ve become addicted to true crime podcasts such as Murder Mile (in spite of the most recent one I listened to being about the appalling murder of my late friend Robert Troyan in Mount Street Mayfair in 2013) in the last weeks. An especially gritty and somewhat grim example is The Clearing, an eight-episode serialisation based on the crimes of the American serial killer Ed Edwards (AKA ‘Wayne’ Edwards) that has been lauded by the Guardian as “an immense achievement.”

     

    Equally gripping, if you haven’t heard it already (I’m listening to it for a second time), is BBC Radio 4’s rerun of GF Newman’s The Corrupted. Featuring a fictional dodgy MP interacting with real political figures from the past including Margaret Thatcher and Douglas Hurd, here is something for political geeks to get their teeth into before the ‘B-word’ again raises its ugly head once coronavirus fades into the background.

     

    ‘The Quiz’ on Facebook

    Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown – Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin).

    Some of us were already playing before orders to stay indoors arrived, but the ‘Quiz Planet’ app on Facebook has proved a charming way to interact with friends from near and afar. Some of the questions do border on the inane and others have induced a Major Charles Ingram-esque cough on my part, but if you want to while away the hours, do sign up and if you want someone to thrash, try challenging me.

     

    And Then… What’s Next?

    Most of all, of course, what will really keep you going through all this is this: A day will soon come when you’ll again be eating, drinking and being merry with your nearest and dearest at your very favourite establishment. Whether you fancy fish and chips or a bottle of Chablis (or both), it’ll come and it’ll come not a moment too soon.

     

    For now, do heed the words of the late Mr Hoskins: “What men call chatter, really does matter. It’s about being a friend. Having the time to listen. It’s what makes the world goes round.” Call a friend or, if you’re not a technophobe like me, ‘give’ them a Zoom.

     

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  • Overheard – 10th April 2020

    Overheard – 10th April 2020

    Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ – including a return of the best interviewee of the 2019 General election, Pat “I object to everything” Mountain

    Back to Basics

    “In two months, all the Instamodels will be prostitutes and all the Instapreneurs will be criminals. Just like the old days” – A fair analysis posted on Instagram by @OverheardLondon.

     

    How Suitably Existential

    In the Evening Standard: “Alexa Chung said: ‘Since all we can do is pretend, I thought I’d dress as a mime.’” Is there nothing this petulant pest won’t do to get attention?

     

    Carrier Bag Distancing

    From the ‘Overheard in Waitrose (The Original Group)’ on Facebook: “When shopping in Waitrose, ensure others shoppers stay the recommended two metres away by taking a Lidl carrier bag with you.”

     

    Jared’s A Doll

    American comedian Kathy Griffin on Donald Trump’s nefarious son-in-law Jared Kushner on Twitter: “Looks like a blowup doll nobody wants to f**k.”

     

    Cheery Mountains

    A Twitter user going by the name of @_teletext to Adam Boulton of Sky News: “Hi Adam. Can you get Pat Mountain back on Sky News for a chat? I think we all could do with cheering up. Cheers, pal.” As the old bat’s likely quarantined for everyone else’s safety for “coronavirus and beyond,” we again share ‘Nan From Catherine Tate’s-lookalike’s’ interview below. Please, please don’t die crying (with laughter).

     

    Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

     

    Pictured top: The “I object to everything” expert on Brexit, feminism, immigrants, “people jumping out of the shadows at night,” racism and “other racist parties,” religion, the “predicament” of Tommy Robinson and just about all else that isn’t milk bottle white, the great “left-behind realist” who “won’t be entering number 10 Downing Street anytime soon” Pat Mountain.

     

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    Overheard – 10th April 2020 – Amusing clangers and snippets – Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ – including a return of the best interviewee of the 2019 General election, Pat “I object to everything” Mountain.
    Mime or Wine? (We know which we’d rather) – Whilst Alexa Chung’s attempt at humour was, as can always be expected of such a tedious wench, a failure (left), this old lady made many laugh in the Facebook chattering spot ‘Overheard in Waitrose (The Original Group).’
    Overheard – 10th April 2020 – Amusing clangers and snippets – Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ – including a return of the best interviewee of the 2019 General election, Pat “I object to everything” Mountain.
    Kushner Gets Sexual – Comedian Kathy Griffin doesn’t exactly hold back when expressing her thoughts about the appearance of Jared Kushner.
  • Starmer & Savile

    Starmer & Savile

    Matthew Steeples calls out fake news site ‘Politicalite’ for falsely blaming Sir Keir Starmer for failing to prosecute the paedophile Jimmy Savile

    Anyone who tells you Sir Keir Starmer isn’t a vast improvement on Jeremy Corbyn as leader of Her Majesty’s official opposition has to be off their merry rocker. That’s a fact, but, naturally, the spin campaign against this Southwark born Leeds and Oxford graduate has already kicked in.

     

    With the self-declared “hottest right-wing tabloid news outlet [who support] Brexit, Trump and Populism” (take that to mean: “trashy fake news rag”) that is Politicalite claiming that Sir Keir “helped [the] renowned paedophile [Sir Jimmy Savile] evade justice in 2009, three years before he died,” one can see evidence of both the hard-left Corbynistas seeking revenge and the far-right looking for a new ‘leftie’ enemy to pin shame on.

     

    Sir Keir, to the contrary of what the moronic headbanger founder of Politicalite, Jordan James, declared as fact very clearly condemned the situation that led to Savile getting away with his crimes. In 2013, he told the BBC’s Panorama:

     

    “Without a change in the law, there’ll be another Savile… I think this is a very real issue that has been with us for a very long time. You can go back to the 50s and probably earlier to find examples, but you can find many more recent examples, and it’s a very simple proposition: if you’re in a position of authority, and you have cause to believe that a child has been abused, you really ought to do something about it.”

     

    Whilst Starmer also admitted that Savile needed to be a “watershed moment” and wakeup call for the CPS – which he headed between July 2008 and November 2013 – he subsequently acted to propose altering the tests used to assess complainants’ credibility in sexual violence cases. In October 2013, he even went as far as to state: “For too long, child sexual abuse cases have been plagued by myths about how ‘real’ victims behave which simply do not withstand scrutiny. The days of the model victim are over. From now on these cases will be investigated and prosecuted differently, whatever the vulnerabilities of the victim.”

     

    Hatemongering Politicalite, on the other hand, is a ‘publication’ that deserves to be called out. It has promoted Tommy Robinson and given a platform to James Goddard, the ‘Yellow Vest’ convicted of harassing the ex-MP Anna Soubry in 2019. Here, indeed, is something that the nation should most truly be ashamed of.

     

    Pictured top: Sir Keir Starmer with his wife, Victoria.

     

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  • Dumb Daniel

    Dumb Daniel

    Matthew Steeples calls out Daniel Hannan for ludicrously not wanting to encourage British people to consume locally produced food

    Daniel Hannan claims to support localism. He wants to end Value Added Tax and replace it with a local sales tax, set by local councils. The ex-MEP is also obsessed with national sovereignty and whilst often bizarrely banging on about trading with Ethiopia also, today basically said he wishes to discourage British farmers to produce more on their own land.

    Dumb Daniel – Daniel Hannan does not want locally produced food – Matthew Steeples calls out Daniel Hannan for ludicrously not wanting to encourage British people to consume locally produced food. “Even if we could grow all our own food, doing so would only make us poorer” article in ‘The Telegraph,’ Sunday 5th April 2020.
    Arch-Brexiteer Daniel Hannan has been mocked recently for his ludicrous analysis of how coronavirus will change our lives. In a column for ‘The Telegraph’ he bizarrely announced: “If coronavirus has one silver lining it should be the return of the bow and curtsy”. He elaborated: “A handshake can be an awkward thing – a clumsy, clammy grapple. But a woman breathes something of herself into her curtsy. She can make the gesture demure or haughty, coy or brazen… She can swish her skirts alluringly or bob coldly. The same is true, mutatis mutandis, for men. A bow allows you to convey precisely the degree of respect or affection you consider appropriate.”
    Dumb Daniel – Daniel Hannan does not want locally produced food – Matthew Steeples calls out Daniel Hannan for ludicrously not wanting to encourage British people to consume locally produced food. “Even if we could grow all our own food, doing so would only make us poorer” article in ‘The Telegraph,’ Sunday 5th April 2020.
    Yesterday, at a local pub, I was able to fill this empty 750ml gin bottle with locally produced beer for just £2. Daniel Hannan: “What’s wrong with that?”

    In an article for The Telegraph, this fan of Enoch Powell claimed “COVID-19 is pushing us to protectionism” and added that: “The idea that growing your own food makes you more secure sounds plausible, but turns out to be nonsense… If you think about it, national food self-sufficiency makes no more sense than village food self-sufficiency.”

     

    Whilst rightly Hannan admits “we have one of the most innovative agri-food sectors on the planet,” wrongly he doesn’t want to encourage it. Here, in my self-imposed isolation in East Anglia, I’ve seen exactly to the contrary. Walking in the local countryside, I pass farms with roadside stalls. They sell locally produced eggs, locally produced fruit and veg and even offer locally grown flowers as well. The village pub – turned into a community shop due to it being unable to sell booze in its normal manner – now sells locally produced pies and locally made ale even (at a most reasonable just £2 to fill a bring-your-own bottle) to takeaway and frankly, it’s all for the good. People are eating more healthily here now and surprisingly these goods are being sold at a lower cost than they’re retailed for by the greedy middlemen – AKA the supermarkets – in normal times.

     

    Growing local is good for the local economy and buying local is even better. Supporting your local food and drink producers is a jolly good thing and Daniel Hannan is dumb to say otherwise.

     

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  • A Wyatt Wonder

    A Wyatt Wonder

    “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson

    Designed by Robert Adam’s rival James Wyatt in 1773 and “clothed in the Italiante manner” in 1859 to 1860, “grand and beautifully executed” Abbey Leix in County Laois is considered “one of Ireland’s most important country houses.”

     

    Placed for sale last June for £17.8 million ($22 million, €20 million or درهم81 million), the main house on the 1,120-acre estate, Abbey Leix House – also known as ‘Abbeyleix House’ and’ Abbeyleix Castle’) – is vast and includes 26,910 square foot of accommodation. Aside from 9 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms, the classical building has amongst other things 3 major rooms on the park front, a deep hall, a music room with original Wyatt plasterwork, a library and a conservatory.

     

    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    Sir David Davies (born in Wales in 1940) at Abbey Leix.

    Renovated and remodeled since being sold to the Welsh born, twice divorced, father of five Sir David Davies in 1995 by its previous owners of the 250 years, the de Vesci family, Abbey Leix is described by agents Sotheby’s International Realty as a “21st century family home with an appropriate balance between comfort and informality on the one hand and grandeur for entertaining and the display of art on the other.”

     

    As well as Ireland’s oldest oak tree being within the grounds, the property also includes some of the “last surviving remnants of Ireland’s ancient woodland” and frontage to the River Nore. There is also a stud farm with 24 loose boxes, a separate farmyard with many outbuildings and 10 lodges and cottages on the estate. The present owner’s private airstrip was created because he wanted to be able to “fly from wherever in the UK straight into the estate.”

     

    Of why he is selling Abbey Leix, “superstar banker and businessman” Sir David – who has variously held senior posts at Chase Manhattan Bank, Hill Samuel, MEPC, Hardine Matheson, Hong Kong Land, Johnson Matthey and EFG Private Bank – told the Business Post:

     

    “I’m organising my whole estate for the benefit of my children… Although the children all love this place very much, none of them wanted to take it on… The typical refrain is ‘Dad, this is your project,’ and I’m lucky enough to have Killoughter House, the home of my childhood, to return to.”

     

    Though born in Wales, Sir David – whom was knighted “for his work as chairman of the Advisory Committee on Business and the Environment” in 1999 – has maintained a home in Ireland throughout his adulthood. He “proudly” became an Irish citizen after Brexit and described “inept” Theresa May as “going from one catastrophe to that leads to the next catastrophe.” Of her successor, the opera loving son of a South Wales steel mill owner went further and recently remarked: “I have no time for Boris Johnson: he doesn’t do his homework, and can’t be trusted.”

     

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    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
    A Wyatt Wonder – £18 million for Sir David Davies’ The Abbey Leix Estate, Abbeyleix, County Laois, Ireland through Sotheby’s International Realty – “Hard head – healing hands” Welsh businessman looks to sell his £18 million Irish estate complete with a James Wyatt mansion and 1,120 acres; Sir David Davies became an Irish citizen after Brexit and has no time for Boris Johnson
  • Draconian Drinking

    Draconian Drinking

    Brexit bore Tim Martin, chairman of Wetherspoons yet again shows himself to be a draconian drip; what will this nutty nuisance ban next?

    On Monday, the deranged dimwit Tim Martin, chairman of the J. D. Wetherspoon pub company, announced: “Many of our customers are keen to celebrate Brexit.” Speaking of tariffs, the nutty know-all added: “Consumers hold the whip hand in these negotiations, not governments.”

     

    Meanwhile, on Sunday, the Mirror published news that staff at the 900 branch chain are to be given body cameras because of a “shocking rise in physical and sexual attacks on workers.” Frankly, given Mr Martin’s aggressive stance on many issues – including banning dogs because the staff “are sick of picking up poop,” prohibiting the use of social media in his outlets and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served –  is anyone surprised?

     

    Elsewhere last week, it was reported that Wetherspoons are now draconianly limiting customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each. In response, Rupert Murray pointed out in The Telegraph yesterday: “Here’s a new business idea for you: hanging around in Wetherspoons loos selling moonshine to thirsty parents. Thirsty parents who have already downed their allotted two pints. They’ve probably smashed their glasses over a nearby skull and trashed the joint. Mothers and fathers are, after all, Begbie from Trainspotting in sheep’s clothing. This is the only possible explanation for why Wetherspoons has banned anyone looking after children from being served anything more than a brace of beverages.”

     

    Alternatively, just follow our lead and join those boycotting this ghastly chain frequented by “boozed up mums” who actually leave their kids at home and staffed by supposed racists. Who on earth would want to drink a “Brexit Bomb” (Martin’s new alternative to Jägermeister) anyway?

     

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  • Parrot Trends

    Parrot Trends

    “Very British” parrot named Nigel trends on social media; you could not make his story up

     

    A grey African parrot described as “very British” called Nigel has bizarrely been trending on social media this morning.

     

    Owned by the amusingly named Darren Chick, a Brit living in America, Nigel disappeared from his home in Torrance, California in 2010 and was presumed dead.

     

    Nigel, it turns out, was found four years later in 2014 by Julia Sperling, a dog grooming parlour owner. Nobody knew where he’d been but his accent had gone. It was replaced with him: “Singing without control [and barking] like the dogs” in a Spanish accent.

     

    Sperling handed the bird to a vet who realised ‘Larry’ – as the parrot kept calling out – had a microchip. He traced Mr Chick and returned the errant bird to its rightful owner.

     

    You just couldn’t make it up and frankly on a day when we’re stuck with yet more Brexit woes, thank goodness for a bit of lighthearted amusement.

     

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  • TIGing a Drunken Duchess

    TIGing a Drunken Duchess

    The boozy bird the Duchess of Sussex and the newly formed The Independent Group have something in common; this “TIG moment” lover should become their leader

     

    The former Meghan Markle – a bizarre woman who ludicrously  likes to create “spaces to share” and “breeding grounds for ideas and excitement” – once had a blog called ‘The Tig.’ It was supposedly about matters “lifestyle” and on it she created “a hub for the discerning palate – those with a hunger for food, travel, fashion [and] beauty.”

     

    On this oracle of wisdom the busybody ‘Murky Mucky’ shared information that the world simply shouldn’t be without. On the now defunct site’s ‘About’ section, she bizarrely stated:

     

    “Several years ago I had a sip of wine called Tignanello (pronounced “teen-ya-nello“). But let’s be real – in the states most people said “tig-na-nello“…or just plain old “Tig.” The Italiano of it all gets a little tricky, so the bartender kept it simple; it was a glass of “Tig.“ So there I am, with very minimal wine knowledge and I take a sip of this wine. It wasn’t just red or white – suddenly I understood what people meant by the body, legs, structure of wine. It was an ah-ha moment at its finest. For me, it became a “Tig” moment – a moment of getting it.”

     

    “From that point on, any new awareness, any new discovery or “ohhhhh, I get it!” moment was a “Tig” moment. At New York Fashion Week understanding that clothes aren’t just pieces of fabric, but that they can be art. So Tig. Traveling off the beaten track and hand diving for sea urchin in Jamaica – understanding that travel is adventure and discovery, culture and surprise. A Tig moment, indeed. And the same could be said for my love of cooking & dining, for cultivating friendships that inspire you, for the idea of “beauty” and what that means to us. An understanding that comes with living your life to the fullest so that it bursts at the seams. An unbridled joy. An insatiable curiosity. That’s what Tig means to me.”

     

    We won’t bore you with the rest of this right royal pest’s drivel but yesterday, in Westminster, seven now ex-Labour MPs quit their party. They formed a group called ‘The Independent Group’ or more simply ‘TIG.’ Perhaps it might be appropriate that their fellow ‘Tigger’ The Duchess of Sussex become their leader.

     

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    TIGing a Drunken Duchess – Meghan Markle should go into politics – The boozy bird the Duchess of Sussex and the newly formed The Independent Group have something in common; this “TIG moment” lover should become their leader
    The Independent Group announced their creation in Westminster yesterday; they came across as a bunch of attention seekers.

    TIGing a Drunken Duchess – Meghan Markle should go into politics – The boozy bird the Duchess of Sussex and the newly formed The Independent Group have something in common; this “TIG moment” lover should become their leader
    Meanwhile, elsewhere, in New York, ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ couldn’t help but don the look of an extra from ‘Last Of The Summer Wine’ in wearing a flat cap. Here indeed was a right royal embarrassment.

  • A £75k MayBeNOT

    A £75k MayBeNOT

    Would anyone be insane enough to pay £75,000 for an evening with Theresa May or £175,000 for a set of posters signed by her?

     

    If you want to hear someone repeat the words “my deal” as many times as possible in a minute, the perfect way would be to buy a night with Theresa May at the Proms.

     

    One plainly insane Tory donor plainly thought so given they spent £75,000 on such at this week’s Black and White Conservative Party fundraising ball in Battersea Park.

     

    To pay that much to be spend time with the most dreary and frankly worst Prime Minister in history is one thing, but if she were to bring along her husband, Phil ‘The Garden’ Gnome, also you’d definitely be bored off your merry rocker.

     

    More unbelievably still, another attendee at the £15,000 per table event spent a staggering £175,000 on a set of posters signed by Mrs May, a woman who truly looks a bit like Mr Kipling’s bit on the side. The lunatics have truly taken over the asylum.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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  • Nissan IS Leaving

    Nissan IS Leaving

    Crowdfunded advert van campaign used to illustrate the lies told by Brexiteers to those working at Leave.EU’s headquarters

     

    The Vote Leave campaign used its bus to tell lies about the NHS and Brexit and now a crowdfunded advert van campaign is returning their untruthful allegations to them.

     

    Sharing their message loud and large, Remain supporting @ByDonkeys parked the vehicle outside Lysander House – the headquarters of many of Arron Banks’ businesses and the registered address of Leave.EU – on Catbrain Lane in Cribbs Causeway, Bristol and displayed tweets from Nigel Farage amongst others.

     

    Led By Donkeys, a grassroots campaign group that launched three weeks ago, has already raised over £99,000 and plans to use the money to display embarrassing tweets by Brexiteers across the land.

     

    To support Led By Donkeys, click here.

     

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0uuDBp_ujY

    Nissan IS Leaving – Led By Donkeys take an ad van to Leave.EU’s HQ – Crowdfunded advert van campaign used to illustrate the lies told by Brexiteers to those working at Leave.EU’s headquarters.Nissan IS Leaving – Led By Donkeys take an ad van to Leave.EU’s HQ – Crowdfunded advert van campaign used to illustrate the lies told by Brexiteers to those working at Leave.EU’s headquarters. Nissan IS Leaving – Led By Donkeys take an ad van to Leave.EU’s HQ – Crowdfunded advert van campaign used to illustrate the lies told by Brexiteers to those working at Leave.EU’s headquarters.