As the ‘Guardian’ report on trophy hunters flocking to Sudan to shoot rare ibex, we remind the public to support our petition to put a stop to mentally unhinged ibex slaughterer Larysa Switlyk
This morning, the Guardian reported that “conservationists fear for endangered Nubian ibex in Sudan as westerners [are] sold permits to hunt” them.
In an article in the paper’s ‘Global Development’ section – which is supported by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation – Kaamil Ahmed remarked:
“Sudanese conservationists have accused trophy hunters of exploiting the country’s political transition to hunt the country’s unprotected rare animals.”
“Photographs posted online of westerners posing with the body of a rare Nubian ibex angered Sudanese wildlife campaigners this week. They called for Facebook to remove the pages of tour groups promoting such hunts.”
“While wildlife hunters have long come from the Gulf, Abubakr Mohammad, a biodiversity researcher, has seen a recent trend for western trophy hunters to come too, which he said could be a result of the country being more open to outsiders since the removal of Omar al-Bashir, the former president. Permits for hunting are being given out without sufficient scrutiny, says campaigners.”
Elsewhere, our Change.org petition against Larysa Switlyk, a marauding monster with a penchant for killing rare ibex in Krygyzstan, Spain and Turkey, is fast approaching 20,000 signatures. Equally, our second against giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe will soon be at 45,000.
If you have not signed, please take a moment to do so and if you have, yet again we kindly request that you share as widely as possible. These reprehensible individuals truly must be stopped.
Pictured top: Larysa Switlyk and an associate posing smugly with an ibex she massacred.
Join the nigh on 44,200 people who have signed our Change.org petition seeking to get giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe banned from Facebook by clicking here.
Join the nigh on 19,500 people who have signed our Change.org petition seeking to get Ibex massacring Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here.
Larysa Switlyk’s delight at killing rare ibex is clear in these photographs. In reality, the snaps simply illustrate a woman who truly belongs in Bedlam.After murdering a Bezoar ibex in November 2018, wicked wastrel Switlyk took to Twitter to boast about her “dream” coming true. Whilst most would consider this a “nightmare,” 386 fellow psychos pressed ‘like’ on this morally reprehensible tweet.Last week, Larysa Switlyk took a break from slaying rare ibex and announced on Instagram that “the new hunting trend in Florida” is slaughtering “invasive” iguana. She claimed: “They are also tasty to eat and one can use their skins to make leather goods out of.” She justified herself by arguing: “Iguanas cause damage to the infrastructure of sidewalks.” It’d be interesting to know if she’d also support, perhaps, say, shooting pests on motorised scooters on pavements on the same basis.
In this gruesome 4:04-minute video shared by Donald Trump Jr.’s bestie Larysa Switlyk on YouTube in July 2019, the lover of shoving sex toys up the bums of dead sheep shot a Bezoar ibex and then posed with bits of it. She claimed: “Lots of conservation efforts and government regulations go into managing these ibex,” but neglected to mention that for each one shot, the species moves closer to being wiped out.
In another video, wholeheartedly evil Switlyk declared: “Discover what dreams are made of” in a video about slaying mid Asian ibex in Krygyzstan. In the twisted footage, her first shot failed to kill one unfortunate animal and then after letting it suffer for some time, she childishly giggled over her “awesome” massacre whilst stroking the blood covered beard of her unfortunate victim.
As our Change.org petition seeking to ban giraffe slayer Merelize van der Merwe tops 40,000 signatures, the psycho publicity addict shared a CBS documentary of another mental monster killing a giraffe
Elephant and giraffe murderer Merelize van der Merwe used to love the fact that 400 people she termed “snowflakes” signed a petition seeking to ban her from Facebook. Now, in less than a month, our new petition aiming to achieve the same has topped 40,000.
Now, aside from banning us from commenting on her Facebook “public figure” page, van der Merwe has attempted to justify her actions by sharing a video of another monster, an American named Tess Talley, bragging about killing a giraffe also.
In doing so, this deranged deviant has yet again proven she’s nothing but clinically insane and again today we urge those that haven’t already to help get our Change.org petition to ban her from the social media medium past 50,000 signatures. Please do so by clicking here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIlJ61wwWQY
40,000 turn on Mental Monster Merelize van der Merwe – The YouTube video shared by Merelize van der Merwe as part of her campaign to justify massacring a giraffe featured another wicked wench who’d done the same thing named Tess Talley.
Deranged deviant Merelize van der Merwe on…
Death threats
“So, after all these death threats from people sitting comfortably behind a computer 15,000 kilometers away, it made me realise one thing… I haven’t hunted enough! So, I’ll go hunt some more tonight!”
Mental disorders
“We have seen mental disorders grow especially with social media giving these people a voice and openly expressing unnatural hatred towards people they never met with Instagram and Facebook. We in the hunting industry I’m sure deals [sic] with more of these unstable people then the psychiatric ward itself.”
“So please next time if someone attacks you for hunting, just remind them they forgot their pills this morning and let’s get these people under control.”
Truth and poetry and hunting
“Truth is like poetry and most people f**king hate poetry… Same when it comes to hunting and conservation people only listen to what they want to hear and not the truth.”
Liberals
“It’s just these new age liberals who piss and moan and say hunting isn’t natural… You aren’t natural.”
Kenya
“Kenya has sold its soul to the devil, AKA animal rights activists.”
Prince Harry
“Soon he’ll be back in diapers.”
Donald Trump
“I love Trump because he pisses off all the people I can’t stand.”
“What a privilege it was to look up to a President and know how a President should run a country. Today many are heartbroken across the world.”
“I salute you President Trump. What a man you are and may God bless you on your next chapter in life.”
On those that opposed Trump
“Eat a bag of dicks you dirty f**king communists.”
Celebrating killing an elephant
“After the elephant was down I went to buy beer and gin for team motivation. The next day I looked like a red crab.”
Why she likes killing elephants
“Tell me how hunting [elephants] doesn’t benefit people and the ecosystem.”
How she feels after a “kill”
“I was like a child for two weeks, counting the days. Afterwards I was flooded with emotions.”
People who protect elephants
“Never underestimate the power of stupid.”
People who object to the vile images she shares on social media
“To the dumb f**k who tried to report my video, take this and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“If you’re looking for a safe space, my page ain’t it… Move along, snowflake.”
Charity and hunting
“Charity is not sustainable, hunting is.”
Killing endangered species and conservation
“The only people protecting these animals are trophy hunters.”
Why she massacres endangered species
“In the end I’m nothing but yet another slave to this trade and a willing one too. The only time I find peace is living life on the edge. I firmly believe one is born like this and not made.”
“We will keep on fighting the animal rights mafia propaganda as hunting has proven sustainable for wildlife.”
“A day without blood is like a day without sunshine… Nature is not a Disney fairytale.”
40,000 turn on Mental Monster Merelize van der Merwe – In recent days Merelize van der Merwe (left) has posted about how she got malaria in Africa from the water and posed with a picture of herself “sipping a pink gin and tonic in Zambia” after “6 months non-stop 7 days a week of hunting.” She also lauded fellow mentally unhinged giraffe murderer (right) Tess Talley.40,000 turn on Mental Monster Merelize van der Merwe – The disgraceful picture that made clinically crackers Merelize van der Merwe internationally infamous.40,000 turn on Mental Monster Merelize van der Merwe – This monster has also taken pleasure in killing elephants and leopards. She must be banned by Facebook and her slaying of endangered species must be forever stopped.
Wannabe Mayor of London Shaun Bailey makes a berk of himself discussing drug use by the poor; he neglected to mention wealthy coked-up Conservative sorts
In spite of Sadiq Khan having proven himself an utterly incompetent Mayor of London, the Tories are still running in third place behind the frankly Frankenstein-esque whack job Brian Rose.
Featured this morning in the Guardian, speaking before the London Assembly’s economy committee about universal basic income (UBI) yesterday, Bailey bizarrely told those gathered:
“I know some people would absolutely fly if you gave them a lump sum to deal with every week. I know some people who would buy lots of drugs. So where is the care in this, where is the care for the person? How do you get past just universally giving people money?”
Responding to this “extraordinary” baloney, Simon Duffy of the Centre for Welfare Reform thinktank remarked:
“I’m sure the people spending most of the money are not the poor – they’re the well-off. It’s your City traders and their cocaine habits. Where’s the love for them?”
“There is a trope or a myth that ordinary people don’t know how to spend money, and that people who are poor are, in some way, incompetent at spending money. And therefore, what the state needs to do is control them or their spending in some way. This is utterly false.”
“It’s not just false, it’s clearly unproven. It’s clearly the opposite of any evidence we have about the world.”
Previously last August, Bailey was slammed by associate professor of addiction at the University of York Ian Hamilton for calling for random drug testing of all employees in companies employing more than 250 staff.
Writing in the Independent of a policy pledge that would actually just “punish big businesses” primarily, Hamilton commented:
“Bailey’s pledge to introduce workplace drug testing does nothing for his credibility. He knows, or should know, there is no evidence to support this policy. As with legal markets, the drug market is diverse: those dealing and using cocaine are not the same as those using and dealing crack cocaine and heroin. The latter is associated with violence whereas the former is not. So if the justification for invading employees’ privacy is to make a dent in knife crime, all the evidence suggests it will be a failure.”
“But I suspect that isn’t the point of this announcement. It’s a blatant attempt to capitalise on people’s fears and win their votes.”
Elsewhere, in slightly better news for the brazen bozo, Bailey’s odds of actually winning have moved from 45/1 in January to 37/1 on Oddschecker. Still, however, his chances of becoming the next Mayor of London look as likely as that of seeing Madeleine McCann ride into town on Shergar the racehorse.
A Coked Candidate – Later, plainly seeking to justify Shaun Bailey’s latest balderdash whilst failing to respond to the point about coked-up Conservatives, a spokesperson for him arrogantly answered: “Shaun won’t take any lectures from career politicians on what life is like for those struggling to get on.”A Coked Candidate – That Shaun Bailey is trailing even Brian Rose – a genuine oddjob who was arrested in January for “unlawful campaigning” – speaks volumes as to his sheer incompetence and unsuitability to be the next Mayor of London.
A Coked Candidate – In January, on LBC, Shaun Bailey was “tied in knots” after saying “London is unsafe and also the best place in the world.” Responding to his all-over-the-shop contradictory comment, presenter Iain Dale commented: “You sound like Donald Trump.”
Shockingly shared elsewhere on Facebook by the perpetrator heself, 32-year-old Merelize van der Merwe’s “wonderful husband paid £1,500 to make her five-year dream come true at a game park last Sunday,” the paper’s Sean Rayment reported.
Going further, the Mirror revealed: “She plans to use her 17-year-old victim’s skin as a rug – and posted her pic with the comment: ‘Ever wondered how big a giraffe’s heart is? I’m over the moon with my Valentines present!’”
In response to this shocking news, Elisa Allen of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals quite rightly concluded:
“One day, trophy hunting will be listed as a sign of a psychiatric disorder, as it should be today. It is grandiosity, serial killing, and bloodlust paired with a burning desire to show off.”
A Change.org petition seeking to ban self-proclaimed “public figure” van der Merwe from Facebook was started 4 years ago, but unlike The Steeple Times’ one seeking to achieve the same for fellow Donald Trump obsessive Larysa Switlyk on Instagram, attracted just 457 supporters and was closed.
Join the 17,100 people who’ve already signed a Change.org petition seeking to get ‘blue ticked’ bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here. One seeking to achieve the same for Merelize van der Merwe on Facebook deserves to achieve a similar level of success.
Update: 22nd February 2020 – A petition seeking to ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook is now live on Change.org. Please sign it by clicking here.
Deranged deviant Merelize van der Merwe on…
Death threats
“So, after all these death threats from people sitting comfortably behind a computer 15,000 kilometers away, it made me realise one thing… I haven’t hunted enough! So, I’ll go hunt some more tonight!”
Mental disorders
“We have seen mental disorders grow especially with social media giving these people a voice and openly expressing unnatural hatred towards people they never met with Instagram and Facebook. We in the hunting industry I’m sure deals [sic] with more of these unstable people then the psychiatric ward itself.”
“So please next time if someone attacks you for hunting, just remind them they forgot their pills this morning and let’s get these people under control.”
Truth and poetry and hunting
“Truth is like poetry and most people f**king hate poetry… Same when it comes to hunting and conservation people only listen to what they want to hear and not the truth.”
Liberals
“It’s just these new age liberals who piss and moan and say hunting isn’t natural… You aren’t natural.”
Kenya
“Kenya has sold its soul to the devil, AKA animal rights activists.”
Prince Harry
“Soon he’ll be back in diapers.”
Donald Trump
“I love Trump because he pisses off all the people I can’t stand.”
“What a privilege it was to look up to a President and know how a President should run a country. Today many are heartbroken across the world.”
“I salute you President Trump. What a man you are and may God bless you on your next chapter in life.”
On those that opposed Trump
“Eat a bag of dicks you dirty f**king communists.”
Celebrating killing an elephant
“After the elephant was down I went to buy beer and gin for team motivation. The next day I looked like a red crab.”
Why she likes killing elephants
“Tell me how hunting [elephants] doesn’t benefit people and the ecosystem.”
How she feels after a “kill”
“I was like a child for two weeks, counting the days. Afterwards I was flooded with emotions.”
People who protect elephants
“Never underestimate the power of stupid.”
People who object to the vile images she shares on social media
“To the dumb f**k who tried to report my video, take this and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“If you’re looking for a safe space, my page ain’t it… Move along, snowflake.”
Charity and hunting
“Charity is not sustainable, hunting is.”
Killing endangered species and conservation
“The only people protecting these animals are trophy hunters.”
Why she massacres endangered species
“In the end I’m nothing but yet another slave to this trade and a willing one too. The only time I find peace is living life on the edge. I firmly believe one is born like this and not made.”
“We will keep on fighting the animal rights mafia propaganda as hunting has proven sustainable for wildlife.”
“A day without blood is like a day without sunshine… Nature is not a Disney fairytale.”
Citrus farmer van der Merwe shared images of herself holding the giraffe’s heart and others preparing to butcher the poor slayed animal on her Facebook page.In a previous post, she showed an image of herself proudly posing covered in the blood of one of her victims.Just like her fellow massacring monster Larysa Switlyk, Merelize van der Merwe is a Donald Trump obsessive. The pair plainly need to get a room.Here, Merelize van der Merwe is pictured with an elephant she murdered.Another picture of the deranged deviant Merelize van der Merwe with a dead elephant and another of her victims.Merelize van der Merwe’s Facebook is peppered with her victims. Supposedly she’s “celebrated” over 500 kills including this unfortunate hippo.A lion she killed in the back of a truck.Leopards are amongst her favourite prey supposedly.This vile woman plainly will kill anything.Merelize van der Merwe and her husband Gerhardt with two more beautiful animals they senselessly slayed.The wicked witch Merelize van der Merwe must be stopped and just like Larysa Switlyk, she must be banned from social media.
As the Dallas Safari Club disgustingly auction off an “opportunity” to kill an endangered black rhino, we urge readers to support our petition to put a stop to their shameless poster girl Larysa Switlyk
This morning, the Mirror shared shocking news that a twisted member of the Dallas Safari Club paid £18,300 ($25,500, €21,000 or درهم93,600) at the weekend to kill an endangered black rhino with a tranquiliser gun.
Sickening beyond belief – and in pre-pandemic times a destination gathering point for members of the Trump clan and, of course, the sex-toy-up-the-bum-of-sheep-shover Larysa Switlyk – the Dallas Safari Club’s annual five day convention had to be held online this year. It still managed to attract 850 exhibitors and allegedly raised £2.5 million ($3.5 million, €2.9 million or درهم12.8 million).
According to the Mirror’s Nada Farhoud, amongst those involved were a firm named South African Infinito Safaris. They offered a “very specialised quest” to hunt “little beauties” including “timid ‘Tiny Ten’ springbok” – a group which includes the blue duiker, a species that is “dwindling due to a “massive rise in the demand of hunting them.”
Also on sale at this sickening anti-wildlife protection event were a pair of elephant skin earrings for £50 ($70, €57 or درهم256) and a £36 ($50, €41 or درهم184) hippo hide necklace.
Join the 16,800 people who’ve already signed a Change.org petition seeking to get ‘blue ticked’ bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here.
Pictured top: In recent days harridan huntress Larysa Switlyk took to Instagram to share grossly offensive imagery of herself with a crocodile she killed on the Nile and a Bezoar Ibex she massacred also. She offered an ‘opportunity’ to kill one for £10,800 ($15,000, €12,300 or درهم55,100) in fall 2021 and fall 2022 in Turkey.
Diabolical in Dallas – Also on offer in the auction was a chance to kill a giraffe.Diabolical in Dallas – Bidders were given the chance to kill a puma too.Diabolical in Dallas – In January 2019, at a time before the COVID-19 pandemic put a stop to them gathering in person, the Dallas Safari Club were able to meet to celebrate their sickness. Here, Larysa Switlyk is pictured with Donald Trump Jr. and his wack job girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle.
“Gaunt” looking Katie Hopkins joins UKIP in time for its next (of many) leadership contests and is “spotted lurking” in Washington in spite of unsurprisingly being ‘NFI’d’ to Joe Biden’s inauguration
“Permanently suspended” from Twitter but astonishingly still allowed on Instagram (where she presents herself as “The Biggest Bitch in Britain”) Katie Hopkins was unsurprisingly ‘Not F**king Invited’ to Joe Biden’s inauguration. She decided to turn up to “lurk” anyway.
Subsequently, in a video rant yesterday, one-time “shagger-of-someone-else’s-husband-in-a-field” Hopkins declared that she’d run into Emily Maitlis in Washington and blabbered on about how the BBC presenter was a hypocrite for traveling there. She neglected, however, to explain why her own presence was necessary and yet again just made a total berk of her not-so-sorry self.
Continuing elsewhere, the political party that is more widely considered nothing but a train wreck that is UKIP last week tweeted that it is still “alive and kicking as Britain’s voice of common sense.” With this post, the ragbag of racists shared an image of a megaphone and Katie Hopkins and added: “We are pleased to welcome Katie Hopkins to UKIP!” Now there’s one welcome bash nobody in their right mind will have a desire to break lockdown to attend.
Some of Katie Hopkins’ most outrageous moments:
On people with dementia:
“Dementia sufferers should not be blocking beds. What is the point of life when you no longer know you are living it?”
On Ramadan:
“Ramadan typically brings a spike in violence in Middle East. I get grumpy when I don’t eat – but I don’t blow things up. Religion of peace?”
On ginger haired children:
“Ginger babies. Like a baby. Just so much harder to love.”
On ‘Highgella’ Nigella Lawson:
“A self-confessed drug-taker, spendthrift, and a self-obsessed flirt determined to show other women they were imperfect.”
On tourists stranded in Egypt after the bombing of a Russian airplane:
“I think if you are going to take your children out from school, which is ridiculous in itself, stick them in a destination that is dangerous, don’t be complaining on my television that you’ve been delayed at the airport, don’t be complaining that you don’t have any information, and don’t be coming back acting like you are a refugee from a war-torn country.”
On Jewish politician Ed Miliband’s wife:
“Pollsters say Justine [Miliband] is the least popular of the party wives. He might stick her head in the oven and turn on the gas.”
On refugees:
“Make no mistake, these migrants are like cockroaches. They might look a bit ‘Bob Geldof’s Ethiopia circa 1984,’ but they are built to survive a nuclear bomb. They are survivors.”
On obesity:
“I don’t really like fat people… Would I employ you if you were obese? No, I would not… If you are obese, you look lazy.”
On suicidal prisoners:
“They should just kill themselves.”
UKIP, currently with ex-Conservative MP Neil Hamilton as its “interim party leader,” has had 13 leaders and acting leaders since 2010. From October 2019 until April 2020, “prized pillock” Pat Mountain was in charge and she was followed by an Indian businessman “who once listed Nazi Germany as a hobby on his CV” named Freddy Vachha. He was suspended from the party in September 2020 (though “maintains he is still the leader”) and, for now, Pat Mountain is “serving” as UKIP’s “abuse and exploitation spokeswoman” in spite of most likely not have the foggiest what that quite means.
Katie UKIPpers – Last year, Hopkins was flown to Prague and given a spoof award for being the ‘C*NT of the Year.’ In accepting it, she proved that she is anything but as bright as a button and now news that she’s considering standing to become UKIP leader will be met with nothing but laughter. Of the possibility, she remarked: “People always ask me when am I going to get into politics, when am I going to do something smarter than just gob off on social media. But I do see that the time for just being on social media and just having opinions is wearing thin and is probably time for somebody like myself, who is at the pointy end of the spear most of the time, to make more of a formalised stand.”
Odds of Donald Trump pardoning mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell move to 50/1 from 3/1 earlier just as Joe Exotic’s supporters start planning a “pizza party” for him
Whilst yesterday, Sports Betting Dime were reporting that the odds of Ghislaine Maxwell getting a pardon before the 45th POTUS departs tomorrow had moved to 50/1 from 3/1 in December, this morning the author Kirby Sommers tweeted to the contrary and suggested: “Trump would be very inclined to pardon Maxwell even without a bribe.”
With other Twitter users echoing that sentiment of it being “highly likely for her to be freed” because “she has the Epstein money and the secrets” and her “being the worst one on the list [of 100 likely pardons] 100%,” the true prospect of Maxwell joining another possible recipient, Joe Exotic, for a “huge party… with pizza, steak and a McRib from McDonald’s” tomorrow however, does now actually seem as far-fetched as Madeleine McCann riding in on Shergar the racehorse.
Indeed, stranger things have happened, but we’d argue that even Trump – a deranged dope with plenty of problems of his own to face once he’s out of the safe confines of the White House, financial, legal and there otherwise – will pass on “going out with a bang” in spite of his previous “good wishes” to ‘Grubby Ghislaine.’ If that proves to be the case, it’ll be about the only decent decision he makes before leaving office.
Elsewhere, today at 10am EST (3pm GMT), Loretta A. Preska, Senior United States District Judge in the Southern District of New York Court, will consider unsealing further documents in the case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell. That matter has yet to attract much mainstream media attention, but boy could that actually be the dynamite that ‘Mucky Maxwell’s’ lackey Brian Basham might wish to not having to peddle his paws around.
To follow and support the work of Kirby Sommers on Patreon, click here.
Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Donald Trump’s friendship with both Jeffrey Epstein and his mendacious madam Ghislaine Maxwell is well documented. Here, the 45th President of the United States of America is pictured with the croaked paedophile and his very own children.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Widely acclaimed author and sex slave survivor Kirby Sommers has tweeted extensively about the likelihood of Donald Trump pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell in recent days.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Twitter users remain convinced in the main that Ghislaine Maxwell WILL get a pardon from Donald Trump.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – ‘Miami Herald’ investigative journalist and author of a soon-to-be-published HarperCollins book about Jeffrey Epstein Julie K. Brown went further and suggested of the chance of a pardon for Robert Maxwell’s degenerate daughter: “After the past two weeks, nothing seems impossible.”Ghislaine Maxwell Goes 50/1 – Twitter user Derek MacEwen asked: “Who will be first to be pardoned – Ghislaine Maxwell or Joe Exotic?” Yesterday, the DailyMail.com reported that “Joe Exotic’s camp is preparing for a possible pardon” and claimed they “already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison.” No mention was made of any such vehicle being stationed ready to whisk Ghislaine Maxwell away from the notoriously “hellish” Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Yesterday, Ghislaine Maxwell’s accuser Virginia Giuffre announced she’d be taking a break from Twitter after revelations that representatives for Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duchess of York had been approaching a troll named Molly Skye Brown – a woman who has also trolled both Kirby Sommers and ‘The Steeple Times’ amongst others.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Today marks another major stage in the court case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell with a conference call to decide whether further documents will be unsealed.
Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – On the 15th January on YouTube, Shaun Attwood shared further news about the Epstein-Maxwell saga and reported on a new lawsuit being launched against the dastardly duo’s associate Leslie Wexner.
Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris)
Featured in the Mirror this morning, it transpires it’s actually not the real Theresa May who has been on the rob in Whitecross Road, Hereford, but in fact just a body double of the ‘Boys Jobs and Girls Jobs’ loving ex-Prime Minister.
According to the paper, “cops are searching for a grey-haired ‘Theresa May lookalike’ after a woman’s purse was taken from a shop” on 11th December 2020. Going further, they added:
“The force released a CCTV image of a middle aged-looking woman wearing a red jacket similar to the one regularly donned by the ex-Prime Minister.”
“Web users were quick to point out the ‘striking resemblance’ to the current Tory MP for Maidenhead after police began circulating the photo.”
Elsewhere, LADbible reported the story had gone viral on social media with one user commenting:
“Looks like Theresa May fell on tough times after the Brexit fallout.”
Another added:
“Oh Theresa, surely times aren’t that hard. I’m sure Boris and his chums would lend you a fiver.”
Theresa The Tea Leaf – This purse stealer was widely described as a “Theresa May lookalike” after West Mercia Police released a CCTV image of her following a theft inside a Hereford store at around 10.30am on 11th December 2020. Of the theft a spokesperson for the force stated: “It is believed another woman put a newspaper on top of the wallet and then took both the paper and wallet. She then left the shop.”Theresa The Leaf – Lady May MP, herself, is often to be found dining with her ‘Garden Gnome-like’ hubby Sir Philip in Malik’s Tandoori House in Cookham, Berkshire. Here, the owner, is pictured serving her and also posing with another regular, her constituent and convicted paedophile Rolf Harris and his wicked wife Alwyn Hughes.
Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”
The “quaint” shire town of Guildhall (pronounced ‘Gilhall’), Vermont – whose population was estimated at just 255 in 2014 – is best known for having a large sign at its centre declaring it to be the “only town in the world so named.”
Now, just in time for Donald Trump’s departure from the White House and likely impeachment, the perfect pad for the 45th President has become available in the town. It comes in the form of a 4-bedroom cottage complete with its own attached former jail – a “safe space” he could retreat to if tagged or subjected to home imprisonment perhaps.
Situated on just under an acre of land next to the village green, Jailer’s House at 43 Courthouse Drive is described as having “so much character” and having “been renovated in recent years.” The jail, which ceased to be used in 1969, itself is in somewhat more perilous condition, as is a detached barn known as Jailer’s Barn.
Sold last for £85,000 in May 2017 and then bizarrely marketed for the much lower sum of £55,000 in April 2018l, agents Lisa Hampton Real Estate now seek £110,000 for the property.
Converted jailhouses and courts previously featured in The Steeple Times include the £14.5 million The Court House in Old Chelsea, London, SW3. It was from there that “drunkards, highwaymen and tax dodgers” were tried and “sent in chains to prison ships on the River Thames for transportation to the colonies.”
Lock Him Up! The property comes with a jail complete with prison cells with barred windows. Of it, agents Lisa Hampton Real Estate remark: “Bring your own ideas on what this 28’ x 40’ wing could be!”Lock Him Up! This cell could make the perfect new home for Donald Trump.Lock Him Up! One couldn’t imagine Melania Trump liking the condition of this crapper, however.Lock Him Up! One of the house’s more unusual features is a ‘witch window’ (also known as a ‘Vermont window’). Its presence might put off broomstick flying Ivanka Trump from visiting as this diagonal double-hung sash was conceived on the basis of the folk belief that “witches cannot fly their broomsticks through tilted windows.”
The Names & Numbers – Jailer’s House, Jailer’s Barn and former Essex County Jail, 43 Courthouse Drive, Guildhall, Essex County, Vermont, VT 05905, United States of America
October 2020 – Listed for sale by Lisa Hampton Real Estate for £110,000 ($149,000, €123,000 or درهم547,000), a sum 100% higher than its April 2018 asking price.
April 2018 – Listed for sale for £55,000 ($75,000, €62,000 or درهم275,000), a sum 35% lower than its May 2017 sale price.
May 2017 – Sold for £85,000 ($116,000, €95,000 or درهم426,000).
February 2012 – Sold for £51,000 ($69,000, €57,000 or درهم253,000).
April 1969 – Essex County Jail discontinued. According to The Burlington Free Press: “The Corrections Department assumed control of most jails in the state, and the sheriffs were to no longer live next to the jail, an amenity they received as part of the job (never fear – it was offset by a triple pay increase for sheriffs as well as a new office).”
July 1964 – A rapist and a man awaiting trial for breaking and entering escaped the jail. Of this, The Burlington Free Press remarked: “A deputy sheriff who lives next door to the jail discovered the break Wednesday morning when he brought breakfast to the jailhouse.”
June 1961 – The jail was supposedly condemned as “potentially dangerous for prisoners” by the state fire marshal.
1947 – According to The Burlington Free Press: “After Antonio Dubois, 47, stole 80 pounds of sugar from the Royal Cafe on Cross and Birch streets in Island Pond, he was held at the Essex County Jail. He couldn’t come up with the $2,000 he needed for bail, so he spent some time in the cells of what could be your home sweet home.”
April 1938 – According to The Burlington Free Press: “Two sheriffs were sued for allegedly assaulting two prisoners at the jail, the Essex County Herald reported in April 1938. The plaintiffs sued for $10,000 each, claiming they suffered broken ribs and fractured ear drums from the attack.”
1879 – 1880 – Jailer’s House, Essex County Jail and Jailer’s Barn are built on the site of an earlier facility burned to the ground by prisoners in 1878.
‘The Donald’ would have to be careful on this wooden staircase given Melania might see it fit to grease it in the style of drunken coal miner’s long-suffering wives of the 19th century. One false move and the 45th POTUS would be toast.The ugly painting of a prized cow in this sitting room might appeal to ‘The Donald’s’ dubious taste in artwork. He might “improve” the room with a bit more gilt.One could imagine Mr Trump, his ‘likely trafficked by Jeffrey Epstein’ wife and dear, little Barron dining in this “homely space.”Melania might actually finally get to enjoy herself cooking on this faux “antique stove.”A bedroom suitable for someone (like Donald) who’s got the blues. The furnishings would also appeal to a skinflint pensioner like Victor Meldrew.Lock Him Up! When things get really bad, Mr Trump might like to sit and reflect in a “safe space” in this shower. There’s even a seat ready for him.Given she didn’t achieve much at the White House aside from playing decorator in the tennis pavilion, Melania Trump could perhaps hone her gardening skills here.Lock Him Up! The bars of the jailhouse would need re-installing prior to ‘The Donald’s’ arrival.Lock Him Up! This barn could be the perfect place for the Trumps to play their favourite game: “Lock him up!”Mr Trump could fantasise about redeveloping the grounds of the property, though he’d more likely busy himself recreating the international joke that is the Trump Wall.Guildhall, Vermont is “most famous” for this sign. If Donald Trump arrived, maybe things might change. New signs declaring: “Lock him up!” would appear throughout the town.
Not content with butchering bears, barbarian bitch Larysa Switlyk has headed to Africa to harm hippos; this harridan must be stopped and banned from bragging about such on Instagram also
After slaughtering a hippopotamus in Zambia in recent days, Larysa Switlyk took to Instagram to share an image of herself with the poor, deceased creature. Of it, she declared: “Here’s a closer look at the hippo’s tusks! I’m extremely blessed to live the life I live, but it definitely doesn’t come without hard work!”
Quite what “hard work” is involved in deciding to take the life of a majestic mostly herbivorous mammal will puzzle anyone with half a brain, but, in the case of the shover-of-sex-toys-up-the-bums-of-dead-sheep Switlyk, even Einstein would struggle to piece together her complete lack of logic. Here is someone who kills for the pleasure of taking home a trophy and a snap for her Instagram followers and utterly nothing else.
Whilst her deranged followers congratulated her and discussed how they were “curious” to eat hippo meat, self-declared “I’m not pretending I’m not a trophy hunter, but trophy hunting is good” Switlyk confirmed the slaughtered beast to be “good table fare.” She also reported she “had to get a tractor” to “drag” the poor beast out of the water.
Going further, this sadistic slayer of bears justified her latest barbaric actions by bragging: “I shot a hippo and fed a village… All the people were extremely appreciative and celebrated my successful hippo hunt.” She then had a pop at her critics and remarked:
“Maybe for 2021, I can post photos without an explanation and people will become nicer on social media…. What you think? If you don’t like what I post on my page, please don’t follow me. I won’t miss you.”
Instead, we say: “This year, this wicked woman must be stopped. She glorifies slaughter-for-slaughter’s-sake and that that she considers shoving sex toys into dead animals acceptable sums her up as a monster. Instagram should not allow her to continue to share her vile and utterly offensive posts and now they’ve banned Donald Trump, it’s finally time to rid a social media site used by both adults and children of his philistine supporter Larysa Switlyk too.”
Switylk posed with the local populous after her “kill” and remarkably claimed they were grateful to her for slaughtering the hippo.In other posts, Larysa Switlyk posed next to elephants and mourned the passing of a ‘professional’ elephant hunter named Phillip Smythe. She will no doubt be attempting to slaughter one of these majestic creatures next and we join all saying: “Shame on this disgusting monster!”LEFT – Previously, Donald Trump Jr. pictured posing with an elephant he massacred; RIGHT – Larysa Switlyk socialising Donald Trump’s twisted elephant slaying son, Donald Jr., and his gobby girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle.Hippo Harridan – Larysa Swyitlk has previously been deservedly slammed for shooting sheep in Norfolk, England and then posing disrespectfully shoving sex toys into their carcasses; she has unsurprisingly also angered many worldwide by killing brown bears in America.Hippo Harridan – On another ‘jaunt’ in September 2018, wicked wench Switlyk went to Scotland to shoot wild goats. She was reported to prosecutors over alleged gun offences, but astoundingly got off scot-free. At the time, Scottish Brexit secretary Mike Russell remarked of her Instagram posts showing her victims: “They’re horrific,” yet the social media giant has allowed these vile images to remain.
In May 2014, a man died in Embu after eating hippo meat. If Larysa Switlyk met the same fate given her actions, it would serve her right.
