The Steeple Times

Tag: south of France

  • Farting Fergie

    Farting Fergie

    Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein

    Somewhat simple Sarah Ferguson – a wack job who still hasn’t declared whether she ever repaid money she took as a loan from the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein – took to YouTube this week to read a “scratch and sniff unicorn fart book.”

     

    Whilst well-known as a lover of having her tepid toes sucked in the past, Pizza Express (Woking branch) loving ‘Randy Andy’s’ live-in ex-wife enthusiasm for a book about “emitting wind from the anus” was subsequently described as her showing she’s “ever the working girl” according to the MailOnline’s Claire Toureille.  

     

    Fergie’s farts, however, have yet to gain gas and go viral. In spite of a further article by Craig Brown in the Daily Mail which asked if the fruitcake known as the former Meghan Markle would be doing a follow-up fart “30 years from now,” just 835 people have actually bothered to watch this one-time royal bang on about flatulence.

     

    Famous Farts

    Roald Dahl, The BFG

    “A whizzpopper!” cried the BFG, beaming at her. “Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?”

     

    Ernest Hemmingway, 88 Poems

    “Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.

    Come let us fart in the home.

    There is no art in a fart.

    Still a fart may not be artless.

    Let us fart and artless fart in the home.”

     

    Robert Rinder

    “I can smell a liar like a fart in a lift!”

     

    Farting Fergie – What will Her Majesty The Queen make of Sarah, Duchess of York’s decision to share stories with the world via YouTube about farting?
    Farting Fergie – Sarah Ferguson reads a book about farting on YouTube – Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein.
    Farting Fergie – In February 2018, the ‘Mirror’ reported that: “The Queen once got accused of farting loudly and trying to blame it on the horses.” They remarked: “The Queen is probably one of the last people on earth you can imagine farting in public. Not only would it be mortifying to accidentally let rip while meeting her subjects, the whole world would soon get to know about it.”
    Farting Fergie – Sarah Ferguson reads a book about farting on YouTube – Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein.
    Farting Fergie – ‘Fergie’s’ non-sweating ex-husband Prince Andrew was widely mocked after claiming to distinctly remember a visit to Pizza Express in Woking on the day he allegedly had sex with the then teenage Virginia Roberts, now Giuffre, in 2001. During his juggernaut crashworthy interview with Emily Maitlis in November 2019, he remarked: “I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a Pizza Express in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there.” Whether he actually attended has since been disputed and whether he actually consumed pizza and whether it caused him to fart remains still unknown.
    Farting Fergie – Sarah Ferguson reads a book about farting on YouTube – Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein.
    Farting Fergie – On Thursday 20th August 1992, the ‘Daily Mirror’ shared what they called “the pictures they didn’t want you to see.” In them, a topless Duchess of York was shown having her toes sucked in the South of France by a Texan millionaire named John Bryan. Of the incident, the ‘Mirror’ later reported: “Royal writer Richard Kay claimed in the ‘Daily Mail’ that he received a message via pager from Princess Diana the night before the photos hit the newspaper stands. Diana’s message was simple: ‘The redhead’s in trouble.’”
    Farting Fergie – Sarah Ferguson reads a book about farting on YouTube – Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein.
    Farting Fergie – Sarah, Duchess of York pictured with the since incarcerated Ghislaine Maxwell at an opening party at Asprey in 2003. It remains unknown as to whether ‘Fergie’ ever repaid a loan from the mucky madam’s now croaked boss Jeffrey Epstein, but this week a New York court threw out mendacious Maxwell’s bid to keep her 2016 testimony about sex toys sealed.
  • The Rt. Hon. The Lord Sumption OBE, PC, FRHistS, FSA

    The Rt. Hon. The Lord Sumption OBE, PC, FRHistS, FSA

    Eton and Oxford educated former Supreme Court judge and historian Jonathan Sumption, as a barrister, successfully represented the billionaire Roman Abramovich against the late oligarch Boris Berezovsky. Formerly one of the highest paid legal eagles in Britain, this father of three termed his £1.6 million salary “puny” in 2001 in a letter to the Guardian and subsequently charged the extraordinary sum of £800,000 to successfully represent the UK government in what was then then the largest class actions against the state ever in 2005. The trial lasted just four weeks. Sumption speaks French and Italian fluently, owns a chateau in South West France and serves as a director of the English National Opera. He became an outspoken critic of the “hysteria” over the police reaction to coronavirus outbreak in the UK in March 2020. Of this “frightening opponent” with an “icy analytical instinct,” the Guardian’s Wendell Steavenson suggested: “Sumption is a man who cannot stop thinking” whilst the former Labour spinner Alastair Campbell more simply concluded: “Brain the size of a planet.”

  • A Range Rover Goes Topless

    A Range Rover Goes Topless

    Wacky 1970s Range Rover convertible for sale for just under £100,000

     

    A truly quirky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ that was transformed for ‘topless’ use in Monaco is for sale through Kensington dealers Graeme Hunt.

     

    Featuring a completely removable hood frame, doors with drop down windows and such features a rear step to allow ease of access for female passengers, the car is being marketed as the “ultimate utility vehicle.”

     

    Designed for “family fun on the Promenade de la Croisette, a somewhat punchy sum of £97,500 ($137,000, €111,000 or درهم504,000) is sought for this somewhat bonkers car.

     

    Follow The Steeple Times on Twitter at @SteepleTimes.

     

    A Range Rover Goes Topless – Wacky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ convertible for sale for £97,500 ($137,000, €111,000 or درهم504,000) through Kensington dealer Graeme HuntA Range Rover Goes Topless – Wacky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ convertible for sale for £97,500 ($137,000, €111,000 or درهم504,000) through Kensington dealer Graeme Hunt A Range Rover Goes Topless – Wacky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ convertible for sale for £97,500 ($137,000, €111,000 or درهم504,000) through Kensington dealer Graeme HuntA Range Rover Goes Topless – Wacky 1972 Range Rover Classic Suffix ‘A’ convertible for sale for £97,500 ($137,000, €111,000 or درهم504,000) through Kensington dealer Graeme Hunt

  • A Bargain Boat

    A Bargain Boat

    Edward Kay reports on the sale of a truly striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4 million to build; it is offered for just £1.4 million

     

    As most of Germany is relatively landlocked, with just the borders of the far northern cities meeting the Atlantic Ocean, it’s no surprise that some of the world’s best performance cars have come out of Deutschland. But, for a yacht building business, one generally might assume that the lack of water access would be quite a difficult hurdle to overcome. Luckily for a firm named Aguti, it set up shop on the coast of Lake Constance – one of the largest lakes in Germany – and here the company’s founder and designer Andreas Grieger has brought what truly must be considered nautical masterpieces to life.

     

    Grieger had a desire to create a yacht with all the grand old opulence of time’s past, yet also with all the benefits of modern fittings and building technologies. He began designing such a vessel in 2003, and over the next 40 months, a fabulous wooden motor yacht slowly came to life at a build cost of some £6.4 million ($8.2 million, €7 million or درهم30.1 million). Where old and new design technologies came together most were in the hull. Here, the traditional yacht construction of utilising precious woods – in this case, mahogany – was upgraded with the integration of carbon fibre and epoxy resin. This process took 50,000 hours of craftsmanship, 40 cubic metres of mahogany, 50 cubic metres of cedar, 650 square metres of carbon fibre, and two tonnes of epoxy to complete, but the end result – a ship that had the visual appeal of a traditional wooden boat with the advantages of a modern composite yacht – was most definitely worth the effort.

     

    This 20-metre, Riva-style owner’s driver yacht is, in my view, a design dream. Not only is it clean, crisp, and curvaceous, while also being angular, it cuts through the waves off the south of France like a hot knife through butter. It has twin 10-cylinder MAN engines – which each develop 1,100hp and together produce a maximum speed of 32 knots. All that power is hidden beneath a beautifully fitted heat-treated teak deck, spreading from bow to stern, including the extendable bathing platform. Elsewhere, the modern nautical technology of the cockpit is complemented by beautifully hand-stitched leather seats and a hydraulic ‘hard top’ roof, offering shade as well as airflow.

     

    The openness of the cabin below allows direct passage from the cockpit and provides the captain with a view of the opulence underneath. The saloon and kitchen lead to three spacious bedrooms (larger in size than those of most London flats) which feature red mahogany furnishings, King-sized beds, and bathrooms finished in natural stone. For those looking for an escape this summer — a private oasis for you and your eleven closest friends — you’re sure to find it on this Aguti yacht.

     

    £1.4 million ($1.8 million, €1.5 million or درهم6.5 million) is sought for the craft – a 78% discount on the cost when new.

     

    Interested parties can contact yacht broker Edward Kay of Boatshed Riviera via email at [email protected] or +44 (0) 786 780 0908.

     

     A Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4m A Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4m A Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4mA Bargain Boat – Edward Kay reports on the sale of a striking 1-of-1 Aguti 20-metre wooden motor yacht that cost £6.4m to build; it is offered for just £1.4m

  • Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith)

    Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith)

    A pioneer of both the Art Deco style and the functionalist Modernist movement, bisexual Irish aristocrat Eileen Gray was best known for designing the Bibendum chair and the E.1027 table. This great tastemaker lived primarily in South Kensington, Paris and the South of France and another of her creations, once owned by Yves Saint Laurent, the ‘Fauteuil aux Dragons’ armchair, sold for £19 million at auction in 2009.

     

    Extremely private, Gray once remarked: “The art of the engineer is not enough… A house is not a machine to live in. It is the shell of man, his extension, his release, his spiritual emanation. Not only its visual harmony but its organisation as a whole, the whole work combined together, make it human in the most profound sense.”

     

    Designer and tastemaker Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith) – A pioneer of both the Art Deco style and the functionalist Modernist movement, bisexual Irish aristocrat Eileen Gray was best known for designing the Bibendum chair and the E-1027 table.A stunning example of Eileen Gray’s work, an S-bend chair, is on display in Room 135, The Dr. Susan Weber Gallery at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London.

     

    Designer and tastemaker Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith) – A pioneer of both the Art Deco style and the functionalist Modernist movement, bisexual Irish aristocrat Eileen Gray was best known for designing the Bibendum chair and the E-1027 table.Eileen Gray also designed the ‘E.1027’ house at Roquebrune-Cap-Martin, overlooking the Bay of Monaco in Franc as a gift for her lover, Jean Badovici, the editor of ‘L’Architecture Vivante’. ‘E’ is for Eileen, ‘10’ for the tenth letter of the alphabet, ‘J’ for Jean, ‘2’ for ‘B’ for Badovici and ‘7’ for ‘G’ for Gray. The building was completed in 1929.

     

    Designer and tastemaker Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith) – A pioneer of both the Art Deco style and the functionalist Modernist movement, bisexual Irish aristocrat Eileen Gray was best known for designing the Bibendum chair and the E-1027 table.The E-1027 table was designed for the eponymous house in 1927.

     

  • The wicker car

    The wicker car

    Eccentric Fiat 850 Spiaggetta car with wicker interior to be auctioned (more…)

  • Mountbatten’s Ghost

    Mountbatten’s Ghost

    1924 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost originally owned by Lord Mountbatten to be auctioned; it came back into his possession just months before he was assassinated in 1979 (more…)

  • His Excellency Nunzio Alfredo D’Angieri and sons Stefan and Teava

    His Excellency Nunzio Alfredo D’Angieri and sons Stefan and Teava

    His Excellency Nunzio Alfredo D’Angieri and sons Stefan and TeavaThis dandy dynasty of diplomats and collectors of motoring marvels are renowned on the international jet set. Diplomat H.E. Nunzio Alfredo D’Angieri was once termed “Arafats’s banker” (more…)

  • Alexandra Tolstoy FRGS

    Alexandra Tolstoy FRGS

    Alexandra Tolstoy FRGSThe daughter of the contentious author Count Nikolai Tolstoy, divorcée Alexandra Tolstoy is a woman who ridiculously claims to struggle to live on £10,000 per week. (more…)

  • A cover for Coral

    A cover for Coral

    Artist Peregrine Heathcote’s cover for Jane Huxley’s new novel ‘A Woman Named Coral’ revealed at the Royal Thames Yacht Club
    (more…)