Tag: society

The Collapse of Chelsea Character

Matthew Steeples celebrates the nicknames of Chelsea’s characters but regrets that the area itself is rapidly being stripped of the very character that made it so appealing

In Chelsea well-known barflies and lavish lunchers have long been given wacky nicknames. Amongst my friends and acquaintances are ‘Steve the Lunch’ (known for planning where to lunch next wherever he’s currently lunching), ‘Charles the Horse’ (known for his prowess on the horse racing betting circuit) and ‘Tony the Suit’ (he was once in tailoring).

Such monikers reveal not only the personalities of the individuals but also illustrate something about the places these bon viveurs frequent. Yesterday, in The Times’ obituary of the legendary restaurateur Michael Proudlock, mention was made of how his customers “had schoolboy nicknames such as ‘Mental,’ ‘Dwarf’ and ‘Mother’ and this reminded me of what this once great area of London has now lost: Character.

Proudlock, Richard Kay of the Daily Mail recalled in this excellently written tribute, “dined out every day, twice a day, seven days a week,” but now, sadly for the most part, such a lifestyle has gone to pot. Disappeared are the likes of Nigel Dempster, Keith Floyd, Sir David Frost and Alan Whicker and gone also are the enclaves that brought so much pleasure. In March 2017, with the closure of La Brasserie – due to the greed of the building’s selfish landlord – an era ended. The customers of “Chelsea’s answer to Cheers” dispersed and what was once a “community of fun loving reprobates” became displaced.

With Poissonnerie de l’Avenue and Como Lario also biting the dust, what is now left? A Kings Road that could be a high street in any town and things like a vegan restaurant on Pavilion Road ridiculously called Wulf & Lamb. How very sad: A place that used to be the haunt of the “cultural cognoscenti” has now been reduced to this.

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January 5, 2019
Brash Beatrice

Has ‘Tatler’ magazine lost the plot? They’ve named Princess Beatrice one of their “best dressed of the year”

Princess Beatrice is well-known for her fashion fails. From hideous hats to dowdy dresses, the daughter of ‘Randy Andy’ and the Duchess of York rarely fails to deliver a ‘look’ that nobody would want to imitate but now, in their wisdom, Tatler magazine have decided otherwise.

In putting the royal alongside the ever elegant Cate Blanchett and the luscious Lily James, the society magazine’s Chandler Tregaskes has only revealed one thing: She must be as blind as a bat.

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December 29, 2018
A Fire Sale

Repossessed Grade I listed Dorset mansion once worth circa £15 million for sale for £3 million; the catch? It’s burnt to the ground

An “exceptionally important,” Grade I listed, 38,000 square foot, 16^th century country house in Dorset with 131.6 acres for just £3 million is certainly something that sounds like a bargain. Sadly, however, Parnham House, near Beaminster comes with a catch: it burnt to the ground in April 2017 and doesn’t even have a roof.

Remodeled by the architect John Nash in 1810 and subject to a costly renovation – sadly now obviously gone – since being bought by the late financier Michael Treichl and his wife Emma in 2001 for £4 million, Parnham House has variously been a family home, was requisitioned during World War II by American troops and was the School for Craftmanship in Wood from 1976 to 2001.

Michael and Emma Treichl

The front elevation of Parnham House before the fire

The front elevation of Parnham House after the fire

The fire in full force

The aftermath

Now listed on the Heritage at Risk Register and likely to cost millions to restore, Parnham House’s destruction came about as a result of an arson attack on the property. The wealthy financier Treichl, who subsequently strangely left just £10,000 in assets in his will after drowning himself on Lake Geneva in June 2017. He is said to have suffered severe depression and possibly suffered catastrophic losses after betting on Brexit.

Offered for sale by Sanderson Weatherall, the estate also includes an undamaged dower house, an undamaged cottage and equestrian facilities. In addition there is a mature park, formal gardens, a lake, walled gardens, a deer park, a tennis court, a bowling green, a swimming pool, fields, woodland and a stream.

Parnham House – The Numbers

2018 – For sale for £3 million ($3.8 million, €3.3 million or درهم13.8 million).

2017 – Said to be worth £15 million ($18.8 million, €16.6 million or درهم69.1 million).

2001 – Sold to Michael and Emma Treichl for £4 million ($5 million, €4.4 million or درهم18.4 million).

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December 18, 2018
Moscow Nights

John Simpson marks the publication of his novel ‘Moscow Nights’ at Daunt Books in Marylebone

Described as: “An engaging yarn with a strong, sometimes mischievous autobiographical element” by The Sunday Times, esteemed foreign correspondent John Simpson launched his second novel at Daunt Books in Marylebone last night.

John Simpson and Claire Rubinstein

Amongst those present to celebrate the occasion were – in from New York – financier Marcel Croome, Brexit campaigner Gina Miller and her hedge fund titan husband Alan, the Daily Mail’s Alexis Parr and social media guru Claire Rubinstein. As drinks flowed, guests admired Daunt Books’ clever displays and many copies of Simpson’s book – a topical tale based around espionage and skulduggery titled Moscow, Midnight – were sold to a most enthusiastic gathering.

To purchase a copy, click here.

Alan Miller, Gina Miller, Claire Rubinstein and Matthew Steeples

Daunt Books was packed for the occasion

Claire Rubinstein and Marcel Croome

Matthew Steeples, Claire Rubinstein and friends

Marcel Croome, Claire Rubinstein and Alexis Parr

Description – MP Patrick Macready has been found dead in his flat. The coroner rules it an accident, a sex game gone wrong.

Jon Swift is from the old stock of journos – cynical, cantankerous and overweight – and something about his friend’s death doesn’t seem right. Then days after Macready’s flat is apparently burgled, Swift discovers that his friend had been researching a string of Russian government figures who had met similarly ‘accidental’ fates.

When the police refuse to investigate further, Swift gets in touch with his contacts in Moscow, determined to find out if his hunch is correct. Following the lead, he is soon drawn into a violent underworld, where whispers of conspiracies, assassinations and double-agents start blurring the line between friend and foe.

But the truth will come at a price, and it may cost him everything.

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November 27, 2018
Snowflake Society

Matthew Steeples supports William Sitwell and suggests his employer Waitrose develop a better moral compass before attacking him

Aristocrats have a habit of saying stupid things. That’s a fact but equally that millennials now take offence at a bit of banter is something quite more ludicrous.

Outrage has ensued this week after a gentleman named William Sitwell – a critic on MasterChef UK and editor of Waitrose Magazine – “dared” to make fun of veganism.

“Disgraceful” some might declare but nonetheless that Sitwell was criticised for responding to a woman suggesting an article on “plant-based meals” with the following is ridiculous:

“How about a series on killing vegans, one by one. Ways to trap them? How to interrogate them properly? Expose their hypocrisy? Force-feed them meat? Make them eat steak and drink red wine?”

In response, Waitrose issued a statement that read:

“Even though this was a private email William’s gone too far and his words are extremely inappropriate, insensitive and absolutely do not represent our views.”

Well, Waitrose – the company that won’t sell poppies because “they don’t condone war” – I’d suggest you get your own house in order before condemning a man who’d simply made a joke.

How about getting this trending on Twitter? #Snowflakes

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October 31, 2018
No Offence Taken

Matthew Steeples questions the validity of getting easily offended as a man “offends” a woman on the Underground by dressing as Samuel L. Jackson

People will always find reasons to be offended it seems. In the days of the overblown #MeToo movement our snowflake society cannot cope with anything that isn’t politically correct.

This morning’s Mail Online reported that a woman was outraged when she spotted a white man who’d made himself look like Samuel L. Jackson for Halloween on a London Underground train.

Whilst I personally wouldn’t do such a thing – for starters, I do not “do” fancy dress of any kind – that the bizarrely named Petra-Isabella Joli declared it “a bit racist” is a little bit ridiculous.

Why not get angry about something a little bit more serious?

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October 29, 2018
Pun Parties With Police

David Pun arrested at a party in London

Last night in Mayfair, David Pun was arrested in full view of invited guests. Cuffed and taken to a police station, this renowned party crasher finally was brought to book.

Having pretended to own Harvey Nichols and Peninsula Hotels on occasions, Pun is the very best known of the liggers of London. He has featured on walls of shame in supermarkets, on television and on the cover of a book even; he has been spotted nabbing canapes at funerals and in places as diverse as Blenheim Palace and Venice. He has even been caught watching porn in the foyer of a hotel in South Kensington.

David Pun has, now, however, finally met his match. May he now disappear to the bottom of the drinks tray.

Follow David Pun on Twitter at @wheresthepun

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October 25, 2018
Overheard – 22nd October 2018

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

Mobile Arabs

An Arab sat outside a shisha café on Brompton Road told her friend: “I lost my phone in Harrods today but I went back and they’d found it. Thank God it was Harrods. They’d have been so racist anywhere else but Harrods, they love us. In this country, it’s whites first and us second but in Harrods, it’s the other way round.”

Lunching (Un)like Liz

At Granger in Chelsea, a Hill House mother chatted with another of her number. She stated: “I go to lunch at 4.30pm as I don’t do breakfast or dinner. You know why: I don’t want to end up looking like Liz Hurley, do I?”

Standard Death

A pair of Russian women lunched at Chiltern Firehouse. One announced: “I went to a really f***ing budget wedding recently… One thing that is so important is alcohol but these people served Russian Standard. Social death. It’s like doing something in Shoreditch.”

Priestly Observations

Two Brompton Oratory priests lunching at Colbert on Sloane Square chatted with a fellow diner about the locality. “It’s changed very much lately,” said one. The other added: “I preferred it when there were more ladies like Miss Marple.”

Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

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October 22, 2018
Win a Knightsbridge Flat (with a Shady Past)

Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted ‘gay sex plot’ royal blackmailer who died in 2016

Increasingly, with sellers unable to offload prime properties due to Theresa May’s inability to secure any kind of Brexit deal and the ongoing effects of former Chancellor George Osborne’s increases to stamp duty, those with luxury flats and houses are turning to raffling them.

An example of such comes in in the form of a ground and first floor maisonette on the corner of Walton Street and Beauchamp Place in London’s Knightsbridge. Extending to 1,063 square foot and including a large reception room, 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, the aforementioned fully furnished property is ambitiously being touted as being worth £3.2 million in spite of having sold for just £1.4 million in 2007 and £575,000 in 2000.

The ground floor sitting room of the flat; the property has been marketed for rental at a price of £2,750 per week in times past

Bisexual ‘royal blackmailer’ Ian Strachan lived in the flat for a period following his release from jail

Now marketed in a competition by a company named Your Laddr – run by a former Alexander McQueen merchandiser named Santa Agolli – for £10 a ticket, Flat 1 at 132 Walton Street, SW3 is being promoted without mention of one of its most recent occupants, a controversial and now deceased ‘royal blackmailer’ who’d sought £50,000 for a set of recordings from various national newspapers in 2007.

Tried under the name of Paul Aðalsteinsson (other aliases included Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein), Grimsby trawlerman’s son turned “playboy” Ian Strachan lived at 132 Walton Street after being released following serving a sentence of five years for a gay sex blackmail plot against an unnamed, married member of the royal family. He subsequently had his left leg amputated following a 30-foot fall from a balcony in Imperial Wharf, SW6 in 2013 and then spent 10 months in jail in Dubai in 2015 after crashing an Audi R8. He died aged just 40 of a drug overdose in South Kensington on Christmas Eve 2016.

The winner of Flat 132, Walton Street will have their stamp duty, legal fees and council tax for one year paid as part of the prize. In addition, they will be ‘given’ a 2017 Jeep Wrangler Black Hawk with 800 miles on the clock, a cash amount of upto £4,000 to cover insurance for one year and a cash payment to cover a Kensington and Chelsea parking permit for one year also. Hopefully they’ll have better luck than the tragic Mr Strachan; may he rest in peace.

To enter the competition, click here.

Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge London, SW3 1RE – The Numbers

August 2018 – Prize draw remains open indicating that ticket sales must be rather slow.

December 2017 – Offered in a raffle for £10 per ticket with a minimum of 380,000 tickets needed to be sold. This would equate to a return of £3.8 million ($4.9 million, €4.2 million or درهم17.9 million) in ticket sales.

November 2007 – Sold for £1.436 million ($1.845 million, €1.581 million or درهم6.776 million).

October 2000 – Sold for £575,000 ($739,000, €633,000 or درهم2.713 million).

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August 29, 2018
Robin Leach (1941 – 2018)

“With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach. Harrow High School educated, this one-time Daily Mail reporter moved to the US in 1963 with $145 in his pocket and after briefly becoming a shoe salesman founded a music publication named Go Magazine.

After selling up “at considerable profit,” Leach worked for The National Star and CNN before coming up with Lifestyles in 1984. He attributed the show’s popularity to Jimmy Carter exiting the White House and boasted: “[It was] because the Reagans brought in an aura of wealth. Jimmy Carter was too ordinary. So, when Reagan came in, it was time for a show about wealth and success… Hear this: In the course of an hour, I deliver twice as much audio information and visual images as any other show on television. I’m fast and loud on purpose. I cram 10 pounds of caviar into an eight-pound pack.”

“Sensational, not scandalous” in his approach, twice married, father of three Leach’s subjects numbered everyone from Celine Dion to Madonna and Adnan Khashoggi and Donald Trump. As a result this celebrant of wealth and capitalism became a millionaire and pretty famous himself and in 2007, in the Fergie song Glamorous featuring Ludacris, the latter rapped: “Lifestyles so rich and famous, Robin Leach’ll get jealous.” With his passing, most certainly, this much parodied “life of the party” has most definitely moved to the skies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrZtqe_zrOw

August 26, 2018