‘Private Eye’ called out for publishing classified adverts from wacko wannabe “Village Elders” with a penchant for “amusing kids” and an actual crackpot crazy who tried and failed to kidnap Princess Anne in London in 1974
The latest edition of Private Eye contains an especially creepy classified advertisement. A link to it was sent to us by an especially beady eyed reader. It states:
Couple (60s) seek position as Village Elders in a community. Skills include knitting, martial arts, book-keeping, business advice, vegetable growing and amusing the kids. Any location worldwide but must speak English. No remuneration needed. Text 07486 434079 for more details.
Aside from the Jimmy Savile-esque vibes that the throwaway inclusion of “amusing kids” gives off, the fact that two sixty somethings of sex undefined want to move utterly anywhere for utterly no payment seems a little beyond weird. Whilst calls and texts from The Steeple Times to the number for the knitting and martial arts lovers listed were not answered, what’s the betting on these wannabe “Village Elders” being successful in their quest for their wacko wants? We wouldn’t go below 999/1.
The advert posted by the wannabe “Village Elders” that will likely not result in them achieving the placement they desire.
Elsewhere in the same magazine’s classified section is an advert placed by another oddity named Ian Ball. It doesn’t exactly share a great deal of detail, but simply offers:
‘To Kidnap a Princess’ by Ian Ball noveltokidnapaprincess.co.uk
For the majority whom unsurprisingly don’t immediately recognise this somewhat ordinary sounding name, this is the very same Ian Ball who attempted to kidnap Princess Anne on 20th March 1974 on Pall Mall in London, but who only succeeded in injuring a number of bystanders with a series of shots. Ball failed in his attempt – which was later bizarrely ‘justified’ as a “publicity stunt” and an attempt to raise £2 million from a ransom that he claimed he intended to give to the NHS – and subsequently pleaded guilty to attempted murder and kidnapping. John Hazan QC, defending, claimed his client was “mad” and had been “led by a voice of either his late father or God.”
Top: The attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne in March 1974, as reconstructed in the 2006 ITV drama ‘To Kidnap A Princess’. Bottom: Failed kidnapper Ian Ball snapped arriving for his trial and the Rolls-Royce in which Princess Anne travelled on the night of the attempt to abduct her.The advert promoting Ian Ball’s book.
Ball – who also goes by the pseudonym ‘Anthony Stewart’ – was subsequently diagnosed with schizophrenia and detained in mental hospitals for 45 years until his release in 2019. In August 2025, he laughably claimed the late Queen Elizabeth II had been the “ringleader” of a plot that led to him being wrongfully jailed and told the Daily Mail: “I’m an innocent, sane man… The whole idea of performing the hoax was to get the publicity so I could write my autobiography and I expected to get £10,000 in royalties.”
Going further, on the website linked to from the online version of the weekly magazine, most certainly beyond bonkers Ball rages whilst promoting his tall tale tome To Kidnap a Princess:
“The author spent 45 years locked up in Rampton and Broadmoor criminal lunatic asylums, after being convicted of the attempted kidnapping of Princess Anne.”
“Throughout his stay in the asylums he was in constant conflict with the psychopathic screws and criminal doctors.”
“The abuse resulting from the conflict was born with a remarkable stoicism and with an astonishing positive attitude. Such resilience was due, mainly, to the author’s efforts in applying his hilariously unique and wry sense of humour to the situation.”
“Although the authorities did everything to try and break his spirit, the author remains unbowed and eventually prevails.”
In light of the highlighting of these two clearly crackpot advertisements, perhaps Private Eye might henceforth implement a better procedure to vet those taking space in their classifieds. Paraphrasing what Princess Anne is said to have exclaimed on being ordered out of her chauffeur driven Rolls-Royce by her wannabe kidnapper Ian Ball that dark night in March 1974, the chances of such are probably to be found in the land of “not bloody likely!”
Matthew Steeples reports on the sale of a £333,333 ‘pimped’ 1996 Hummer H1 that rapper Tupac Shakur bought just a month before he was gunned down and killed in a 1996 BMW 750iL leased by the ironically named Death Row Records just as his alleged killer goes to trial
New York born rapper and actor Tupac Shakur – also known as ‘2Pac’ and ‘Makaveli’; born as Lesane Parish Crooks in 1971 – was well known for his love of flash motors and often featured them in his music videos. Whilst the black 1996 BMW 750iL he was shot in on 7th September 1996 is currently being hawked by Celebrity Cars Las Vegas for an astounding £1.3 million ($1.75 million), another of his vehicles is due to be auctioned later this month at a much lower sum just before a suspect in his slaying is finally due to go on trial also.
Purchased new on 16th August 1996 by the All Eyez on Me star and convicted sex offender just a month before he died in a Las Vegas hospital on 13th September that year, Bonhams will sell what was described in 2016 by Page Six as a “fully loaded” Hummer H1.
Made popular after prominence in TV footage during the Gulf War conflict and Arnold Schwarzenegger becoming the first civilian to purchase one, the AM General Humvee – originally known as the HMMWV – was launched to the public in 1992 and later retroactively renamed the H1. Early versions were basically 7’2” fender to fender in length demilitarised HMMWVs that had been adapted to adhere to federal road use requirements. Later versions were far more luxurious. The most extreme included a double decker, stretch limousine version of a H2, as featured in ‘The Steeple Times’ in October 2012.Accompanying the auction listing for the 23rd January sale, Bonhams include a black and white photograph of Tupac Shakur in the vehicle.Another image of the star shared widely online shows him waving from his blinged up beast.The 1996 BMW 750iL in which the rapper was shot on 7th September 1996 has been repeatedly offered for sale at sums quite frankly ludicrous. It currently is priced at £1.3 million through Celebrity Cars Las Vegas. On the fatal night, Shakur had been in Paradise, Nevada to attend the Bruce Seldon vs. Mike Tyson boxing match at the MGM Grand. He had been accompanied by his manager and Death Row Records founder Suge Knight and after the fight as they headed to the Death Row nightclub, Club 662. Stopped by police first at 11pm on Las Vegas Boulevard, but released without a ticket, the convoy in which the BMW travelled was subject to rapid fire on the passenger side from a white, four-door, late-model Cadillac sedan at 11:15pm. Shakur was struck four times whilst Knight was hit by shards only.The rapper had an extensive and varied car collection that included a ‘daily driver’ Rolls-Royce Corniche IV that the website 2PacLegacy.net declared as being something he was “quite proud of” and was “often seen driving.” After his death, however, his mother Afeni Shakur remarked: “I discovered he had next to zero, next to nothing. I discovered that the home that he had thought that he had just bought, was not his. I discovered that the Rolls-Royce that he was so proud of and that he loved so much, was not his. And since they were not his, I didn’t want any part of them.”
The music video for 2Pac featuring Dr Dre’s ‘California Love’ (1996), part of the ‘All Eyez on Me’ album, featured a number of Hummers including the one to be auctioned by Bonhams.
The 6.5-litre, turbo diesel V8 engine beast of a motor was customised for Shakur and features such things as an external PA system with three sirens, a twelve disc Clarion sound system, Sony GPS, a central tyre inflation system, air conditioning, rear sliding glass doors, privacy glass, Dick Cepek off-road lights, diamond plated bumpers and a 12,000 pound winch. Rather brazenly, ’Eliminator’ is proclaimed in large white lettering in the space above the rear driver’s side fender.
After the star’s untimely demise, the vehicle was was appraised at £55,500 ($75,000) in his estate’s inventory, kept in storage for several years, offered in a ‘Picture Me Rollin’ sweepstake in 2003 and then sold in 2007 to Havenotz Entertainment owners Sardar ‘Candyman 187’ Khan and Yaasmyn Fula.
Fula’s connection to the vehicle is relevant in that she was the mother of Shakur’s godbrother Yafeu ‘Yaki’ Akiyele Fula; an Outlawz hip-hop group member nicknamed ‘Kadafi’ in honour of the Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi. ‘Kadafi’ had also been in Las Vegas on the night of Tupac’s murder, was questioned about the crime by investigators and then was himself shot and killed in New Jersey just two months later in November 1996. He also was seen ‘cruising’ in the Hummer with his godbrother in in Los Angeles during the short period that Shakur owned it.
Subsequently owned by a Canadian collector, the H1 “complete with a very aggressive front guard” was put up for auction in April 2016 for £74,300 ($100,000). The very last car purchased and pimped up by Shakur achieved a punchy £250,446 ($337,114), but that sale subsequently collapsed. It was reoffered at the same reserve in August that year and came with a California plate ‘YAKNPAK’ honouring both Tupac Shakur and Yafeu Fula.
Classic.com report that recent prices achieved for 1996 Hummer H1s have ranged from £30,400 to £81,700 ($41,000 to $110,000); Bonhams will sell this mammoth military-esque motor on 23rd January 2026 at their Scottsdale sale at The Westin Kierland Resort and Spa and have set a very ambitious estimate of £277,800 to £333,333 ($375,000 to $450,000).
Duane ‘Keefe D’ Davis finally goes on trial for his alleged role in the first-degree murder of Tupac Shakur on 9th February 2026. He has pleaded not guilty and has been held in prison without bail since his arrest on 29th September 2023. In an interview with ‘Rolling Stone’ in March 2025, Davis declared: “I’m innocent. I ain’t killed nobody, never did ever kill nobody… I’m supposed to be out there enjoying my twilight at one of my f**king grandson’s football games, and basketball games. Enjoying life with my kids… God got my back, and God will see me through this. He had my back with cancer, I survived the streets, and the FBI. That’s a big accomplishment for a man from Compton.” He previously told ABC: “I shouldn’t have said nothing. I’m innocent, man.” For context, ‘Rolling Stone’ added: “Prosecutors have argued that Davis was a longtime member and leader of group within the Compton, California Crips street gang. According to his indictment, prosecutors argued that Davis orchestrated Tupac Shakur’s murder and provided the .40-caliber Glock. Authorities claim the murder was retaliation after Shakur got into a physical altercation with Crip gang member Orlando Anderson inside a casino after a Mike Tyson fight on Sept. 6, 1996, hours before the deadly shooting.”
Meanwhile, on 9th February, an actor Duane Davis – also known as ‘Keefe D’ – is due to finally face jury trial for the murder of Tupac Shakur after having been charged in September 2023. Davis, who has played minor roles in Diggstown, M.A.N.T.I.S., Psych, S.W.A.T. and Team Knight Rider, is an uncle of the alleged shooter Orlando Anderson. He is also the author of Compton Street Legend, a book about the crime which his defence now claims “is based on self-serving statements made for financial gain” rather than an admission of guilt.
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Further pictures of the 1996 Hummer H1 to be offered at auction by Bonhams:
Vintage dealer David Lennox on ‘famous faces’ who’ve made significant profits in the world of classic cars; he also gives some advice about a key feature in a classic car – its alternator
Whilst actor Rowan Atkinson’s most expensive car – www.slashgear.com was a 1997 McLaren F1 that he managed to crash twice still sold for a staggering £8.9 million ($11.1 million) sum higher than the £697,000 ($880,000) he originally bought it for new, other big and small screen stars and musicians have also profited from the motors they’ve bought.
In a world where your standard punter’s automotive purchase loses value as soon as it is driven off the forecourt and declines on average by 40% in value during its first year, many are dubious about ‘investing’ in cars. Those that dare to take a punt on a ‘classic car’ – interestingly defined in the UK by Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs (HMRC) as one aged over 15 years old – can, however, actually make significant returns.
Amongst five other examples of other classic cars connected to the world of film and television that have made megabucks are:
1 – The 1968 Ford Mustang GT that Steve McQueen drove in the cop thriller Bullitt was discarded after filming and sold for just £2,800 ($3,500) to Bob Kierman in the 1970s. It sold on for £2.7 million ($3.4 million) at a car show in Detroit – a sum 40 times as much as a ‘normal’ example. In 2020, what was termed a “respectful Bullitt homage,” a 1968 Ford Mustang in Highland green, sold at a Silverstone Auctions sale for £73,000 ($93,000); of it they added: “It should be mandatory to drive this car only in a pair of Persol 714 sunglasses.”
2 – John Lennon’s ‘psychedelic gypsy caravan’ styled 1964 Rolls-Royce Phantom V limousine cost him £6,600 ($8,300) new. He and it were attacked by a woman with an umbrella who yelled: “You swine! How can you do that to a Rolls-Royce?” but was later to sold to a Canadian billionaire named Jim Pattison for £2.4 million ($3 million) in 1985. A more ‘ordinary’ example lacking a ‘famous face’ connection sold for just £90,000 ($114,000) in 2018.
3 – A 1966 Lotus Elan S2 originally owned by actor and comedian Peter Sellers CBE sold at auction for just over £50,000 in 2015 at the NEC Classic Motor Show sale after being featured in The Steeple Times. A similar 1966 example with no connections to a ‘famous face’ is currently on offer for just £17,800 ($22,500).
4 – Another racy run-about, not only also owned by Peter Sellers, but also by Princess Margaret’s husband, Anthony Armstrong-Jones, 1st Earl of Snowdon and more recently by TV presenter Chris Evans is another example of a ‘star priced car.’
Featured in The Steeple Times in June 2021 prior to being auctioned the following month by Bonhams at their Festival of Speed Sale at Goodwood, the 1964 Aston Martin DB5 was offered with an estimate of £1.3 million to £1.7 million ($1.8 million to $2.4 million). It had cost Peter Sellers just £4,490 new ($3,550); the actor and comedian sold it “at a loss” to the then Viscount Linley in 1965 – whose own son sold it in 2002 to pay towards the death duties incurred by his late mother’s estate.
5 – Though a 1953 Lagonda DB drophead coupé originally owned by Sir Peter Ustinov, CBE FRSA failed to sell with an estimate of £90,000 ($114,000) in July 2017, auctioneers H&H Classics hammered down another ‘grander’ example, one owned by Prince Philip, for £340,000 ($432,000) the previous year. At the time, they remarked: “We sold Prince Philip’s Lagonda for a world record price… so the bar was set high.”
Advice on alternators
When it comes to classic cars, the alternator is a critical component that keeps the battery charged and the electrical system running smoothly.
Unlike modern vehicles, which might have more sophisticated diagnostic tools and electrical systems, classic cars require a more hands-on and attentive approach to identify and resolve issues with their alternators.
This section will guide you through the process of identifying and resolving problems with alternators in classic cars, ensuring that your vintage beauty runs as smoothly as it did in its heyday.
Understanding the alternator
The alternator is the heart of a car’s electrical system, responsible for charging the battery and powering the electrical system when the engine is running. It converts mechanical energy into electrical energy as alternating current (AC), which is then rectified to direct current (DC) suitable for the car’s electrical system and to charge the battery.
A malfunctioning alternator can lead to a dead battery, dimming lights, and ultimately, the car failing to start.
Symptoms of a faulty alternator
Identifying alternator problems early can save you from unexpected breakdowns. Here are common signs of a failing alternator:
– Dimming or overly bright lights: This can indicate that the alternator is not providing a consistent voltage.
– Dead battery: While batteries can fail on their own, a dead battery might also suggest that the alternator is not charging it properly.
– Warning lights on the dashboard: Many cars have a battery or alternator warning light that indicates when there’s an issue.
– Strange noises: A failing alternator can produce odd noises due to worn bearings or belts.
– Electrical issues: Malfunctioning accessories, such as power windows or radio, could point towards alternator problems.
Preventative maintenance
Preventative maintenance can extend the life of your classic car’s alternator and prevent many of the issues mentioned:
– Regular inspections: Routinely check the alternator belt for wear and ensure it is properly tightened.
– Clean terminals: Regularly clean the battery terminals and alternator connections to prevent corrosion.
– Battery maintenance: Keep the battery in good condition, as a failing battery can put extra strain on the alternator.
Conclusion
Maintaining the alternator in a classic car requires a blend of observation, basic electrical knowledge, and sometimes, a bit of detective work. By understanding how to identify and address issues with your alternator, you can ensure that your classic car remains reliable and ready for the road.
Remember, the key to troubleshooting and maintenance is regular inspection and early detection of potential problems. With these tips and a proactive approach, you can keep your classic car’s electrical system in top condition, preserving its legacy and performance for years to come.
The 1968 Ford Mustang GT used by Steve McQueen in the classic film ‘Bullitt’ (top) and an example made as a homage to it (below).John Lennon’s ‘psychedelic gypsy caravan’ styled 1964 Rolls-Royce Phantom V limousine. It certainly set a record price when sold in 1985.The 1966 Lotus Elan S2 originally owned by actor and comedian Peter Sellers CBE (top and centre) and a similar car without any ‘famous face’ connection (below).The 1964 Aston Martin DB5 that was owned by Peter Sellers CBE, the 1st Earl of Snowdon and later Chris Evans.The 1953 Lagonda DB drophead coupé originally owned by Sir Peter Ustinov, CBE FRSA and another example – which sold for a lot more – that was owned by the late Prince Philip.
As shameless sex fiend Stephen Bear is deservedly jailed, it is shameful that his grubby girlfriend Jessica Smith continues to pile misery on his victim; here is a pair of gruesome grifters far worse than even the Duke and Duchess of Sussex
Homophobic horror Stephen Bear might find himself having a fair few problems in the prison showers. A man prone to exposing his privates and talking about his ‘todger’ in a similar way to Prince Harry, this filthy piece of toerag, however, won’t have the luxury of the aid of Elizabeth Arden cream anytime soon.
Jailed quite deservedly for 21 months on Friday for voyeurism, disclosing private, sexual photographs and films with intent to cause distress, and harassment without violence, the Walthamstow born 33-year-old showed utterly no remorse as he arrived at Chelmsford Crown Court for sentencing for what he did to his ex-girlfriend and fellow reality television ‘personality’ Georgia Harrison on 2nd August 2020.
On arrival, Bear – who has also been required to sign the sex offender register and given a restraining order not to contact his victim for five years and also required to keep police updated with his address and whereabouts for ten years – filmed a segment subsequently shared on Twitter by his current squeeze, the self-declared “I’m Jess, your new favourite horny blonde” Jessica Smith.
In a 1:43-minute clip filmed by dimwitted dolly bird Smith and shared with her 117,600 followers, brain dead berk Bear delusionally declared:
“You see in this country, I think the saying is: ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ and unfortunately, through this whole turn of events, through the adverse media which has been printed and written about me, all they see me as this monster. So, how can you possibly give a fair trial just to adverse media?”
Adding a completely currently unproven as either true or false allegation, Bear continued:
“Secondly, at the very beginning, before the jury was picked, they were asked a series of questions and one person should be accountable for contempt of court. Hopefully, I can speak to the police about this and give them all the evidence.”
“You see, if you’ve got one bad apple, the whole jury should be slung out in my opinion.”
Attempting to very predictably play the Prince Harry “mental health issues” excuse, the convicted sex offender blubbed:
“And, do you know what, the only good thing that’s come from this whole situation is that I got a psychiatric report written about me and they’ve told me that I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety. So, hopefully I can get some treatment and some help, maybe some talking therapy. I just need some help really because going through mental health, I live through this every single day.”
Ending in a Spare-esque whinge, Bear concluded:
“I just hope I can speak to the news or something about what’s happened… I just hope I can give, just my side of the story. An honest, just my side of the story and hopefully it just comes out and it gives just a different opinion on me and hopefully we can spin the narrative… I can see everyone has already made their minds up about the narrative.”
Approached then by members of the press, in videos filmed by others including news presenter Dan Walker, Bear was seen to tell Smith “just keep recording babe” as he was asked by a journalist: “Do you wish to apologise to Georgia Harrison?”
Ignoring questions from her and others, the noxious nitwit continued:
“There’s no point me even answering any questions. As you can see everyone, this is it. Fingers crossed it goes well today and maybe I get some sort of justice from this whole situation. Thank you so much.”
Outrageously, then, after noticing a clearly very young female ‘fan’ standing amongst the press pack, Bear summoned her over by asking: “Do you want a picture? Do you want a selfie? Come then, come over. I’m a man of the people” just as another journalist stated: “You’ve been called a self-obsessed show-off. You’ll do anything to be front page. Do you have any response to that?”
He then gave the V-sign and proceeded to ask another female journalist dressed in a red coat: “What made you dress in red today?” before bizarrely singing: “Lady in red is talking to me, cheek to cheek, I wanna know why she’s by my side, my lady in red, lady in red, she’s talking to me, cheek to cheek. I wanna know why she’s by my side.”
“I love you [Stephen Bear]. I’ll always be by your side, stay strong babe. The truth will come out… You never had a fair trial.”
“Through thick and thin my love. I’ll see you soon.”
In a weepy whine of Meghan Markle-esque qualities, she then concluded last night:
“What event the point anymore? I’ve lost half of my heart. I feel empty.”
Here is an example of a most contemptible pair of grifters, a pair of grifters far worse even than ‘MeGain’ and her drip. Here is a couple incapable of realising the error of their ways. Shame on Stephen Bear and shame on Jessica Smith; long may this cretinous convicted criminal rot.
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party.
Pictured Top – Profiteering from personal appearances and sick sex tapes will have to pause for Stephen Bear for 21 months now he’s hit the clink; he even mocked such by dressing up in an orange jump suit.
On Twitter this afternoon, Matthew Steeples asked: “Which of these grubby money grabbing grifters is the worst of the lot?” He gave the options of Stephen Bear, Jessica Smith, Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex and accompanied this with the hashtags: #StephenBear #JessicaSmith #DumbPrince #DukeOfSussex #MeghanMarkle #DuchessOfSussex #Meghan #greed #realitytv #TV #television #BigBrother #Netflix #Spare #scum #vile #grifter #grifters.Victim Georgia Harrison, speaking outside the court, stated: “I am happy and relieved that this matter is finally over. Today’s sentence is a vindication of what I’ve been put through and sends a clear message that the police and the courts take this matter very seriously. I want to let all other victims of this crime know that I stand in solidarity with them and I have absolutely no regrets on waiving my anonymity. I hope that this puts anyone off committing this sort of crime and I hope for anyone else who has been a victim of it [that] it gives them some sort of justice.” Hannah von Dadelszen, the deputy chief crown prosecutor for CPS East of England, added: “I want to commend Georgia Harrison for the bravery and determination she has shown throughout this case. By contrast, Stephen Bear showed a complete lack of remorse by never accepting responsibility for his abusive behaviour, even going so far as to place the blame on Ms Harrison. Although she lives a public life, Georgia Harrison has the right to privacy. But that was taken away by Bear to make money in the most egregious way.”In the past, Bear has been called out as a conman after running fake competitions. He’s also been accused of animal abuse and after he was sent down on Friday, he turned and waved from the dock and dimwittedly declared: “Have a good evening. Enjoy the weekend everyone.”
When you consider how Stephen Bear is acting outside court and the crime he committed… it is hard to get your head around the person who is delighted to get a selfie with him #TheCultOfCelebrity 🤢pic.twitter.com/2Cm4sCbYdK
On Friday, television presenter Dan Walker shared a tweet with his 792,200 followers on Twitter. It read: “When you consider how Stephen Bear is acting outside court and the crime he committed… It is hard to get your head around the person who is delighted to get a selfie with him.”
Wastrel wazzock Stephen Bear’s NOT so ‘finest’ quotes…
On why he thought he shouldn’t have had to pay attention to lockdown rules:
“I am God. Rules do not apply to me. I have super human powers and I am part of the Illuminati.”
“Everyone else should stay at home and not go M&S and buy some food. They should sit at home and starve.”
About those he “claimed” owed him money:
“Yeah, so this one’s called the Monday rant. I’m owed a lot of money from three different people. First one is Rustlers, where’s my £3,000 you owe me? It’s been five months.”
“Second one, Good For Nothing, you owe me 16 grand, my contract isn’t finished until April, you owe me £16,000. Where is it?”
“And the third one is for you Charlotte, listen, reply back to the emails. I haven’t received 1p from the business which I started with my money. Okay?”
“Tell your dad to reply to the f**king emails, do you understand? Make sure he gets back to him because what’s going on at the minute is b******s and it’s embarrassing.
“Do you understand? Because I’ve had enough now. That’s the Monday rant over, I want all my f**king money from all three of you, do you understand?”
“I’m here to find someone new… Are all your minges shaved? I’m just saying, clean nails, clean minges.”
On being arrested for “on suspicion of disclosing private sexual photographs or films without consent with intent to cause distress, harassment, and obstructing a police officer”:
“Where do I f**king start? I’m back from Dubai and I’ve actually got a criminal case of my head.”
“While I was in the police cell they have gone into my house, smashed open the door. I’ve had to get everything fixed – they’ve busted my front gate too.”
“Obstructing a police officer. What do you reckon I did? Do you reckon I got in his way? I think voyeurism because I’ve been to Dubai and I’ve gone on a voyage.”
In January 2021, ‘The Steeple Times’ made “tattooed twerp” Stephen Bear its ‘Moron of the Moment’ after we decided the “shameless scumbag sex pest and dog abuser” had shown himself as “the finest example of all that is wrong in once Great Britain.” With his jailing last week, he has now sunk to an even lower level.Naked audacity – Mr Bear – who used to be a roofer and probably should have just stuck to playing with tiles – is clearly beyond vain and self-obsessed. His naked photos and videos of both himself and with others, however, illustrate him as nothing other than a revolting scumbag and total waste of space.The days of Rolls-Royces (borrowed, not actually his, please note) for this grifter are now over; the equally vacuous Jessica Smith might do best to simply now walk away. Being as pathetic and pointless as her “lost half of her heart,” that does, however, seem unlikely. Shame on her in the same way that the feckless fool Ferne McCann (also from Essex and also involved in ‘reality television’) continued to pile misery on the victims of her acid chucking baby dada Arthur Collins.
Fifteen-bedroom house outside New York with supposed potential to make £75 million for sale for just £373,000; could this be America’s answer to Del Boy’s ‘Peckham Springs’?
In October 2014, The Steeple Times featured the £8 million ($10.7 million, €9.5 million or درهم39.4 million) sale of a 26-acre Cotswolds estate complete with its own “high in calcium, low in sodium,” natural spring water producing facility.
Now, for a hell of a lot less in terms of initial outlay, an aspiring Del Boy could produce an estimated return of £75 million ($100 million, €88 million or درهم367 million) in ‘Peckham Springs-esque’ style if they bought a 13.74-acre property in Richfield Springs, New York that comes complete with the potential to make what an estate agent claims to be upto £75 million ($100 million, €88 million or درهم367 million) from a “mineral water aquifer with millions of gallons of water.”
In ‘Mother Nature’s Son’ – first broadcast on the BBC on the 25th December 1992 – the Trotters attempt to sell tap water as spring water. They con a local organic health shop owner into authenticating their ‘product’ and get a trial at a major supermarket even. Sales are subsequently boosted by drought warnings from the local water board, but eventually their venture is ruined by the fact that they themselves had contaminated the local reservoir by dumping barrels containing an unknown yellow substance there.The Trotters believed they’d get rich from their venture and for a time they didn’t do too badly… Whoever purchases ‘The Bella Vista’ could do well, but, equally, who knows, their ‘project’ might just end up being another white elephant.An image of the house circa 1905 when it was the residence of someone named R. F. Wescott.One part of the “mineral baths” in the basement of the property – complete with a rather oddly located radiator and some dodgy looking pipes and cables. Further imagery showing the “mineral baths” in their current state. They clearly are in need of some renovation.The property is in the village of Richfield Springs in Ortsego County, new York. According to Wikipedia: “The area of Richfield Springs was called Ga-no-wan-ges by the Oneida Indians which translated to ‘stinking water’ … [and its] name is derived from local sulfur springs.”
Offered for just £373,000 ($500,000, €441,000 or درهم1.8 million) or £33 per square foot ($44 per square foot, €39 per square foot or درهم162 per square foot), 15-bedroom, 20-bathroom 241 E. Main Street is described as a “single family residence” built in 1900.
Named ‘The Bella Vista’ and lauded as an “iconic Queen Anne style mansion,” the 4-storey building has been used previously as a nursing home and features two “huge mineral spa pools in the basement” as well as a commercial kitchen.
Marketed by Delbert Ball of Keller Williams Mowhawk Valley, the property is described as “in need of some deferred maintenance [and] sold as is,” but having “enormous opportunity potential.”
Water minded entrepreneurs with pound signs flashing in their skulls at the prospect of money flowing like water, however, should be reminded of the December 1992 episode of the BBC’s Only Fools and Horses titled ‘Mother Nature’s Son.’
In it, Derek Trotter (AKA ‘Del Boy’) and his brother Rodney bottle tap water and sells it as ‘Peckham Spring Water.’ Whilst their scam is successful at first, their product becomes contaminated by barrels of an unknown yellow substance they’d dumped in a local reservoir and that becomes the end of that.
The entrance hallway of the house.A grand staircase connects the floors of the building.In terms of entertaining spaces, the ‘mansion’ includes “two grand parlours with pocket doors, all-natural wood flooring and spacious windows” as well as its two Sulphur spas with “large lounge areas.”The building is perpetuated by wooden paneling throughout.A commercial kitchen from when the property was used as a nursing home remains in-situ. Its condition is unknown, but it likely needs to be and will be ripped out by any purchaser.One of 15 bedrooms in a vast building that has the potential to be turned back into a very large family home or a small hotel even.Another bedroom complete with an original fireplace.An aerial views showing the plot and the circular driveway that wraps around ‘The Bella Vista.’The building is clearly in need of considerable renovation and the hideous extension to the rear would be best be demolished.The Bella Vista, 241 E. Main Street, Richfield Springs, Richfield, Otsego County, New York, NY 13439 is situated in a village at the northern end of Canadargo Lake and at the border of Herkimer County.The plot and views from the property are idyllic.
2015 Rolls-Royce Wraith converted to a ‘Spectre’ shooting brake by automotive genius Niels van Roij for sale for 157% more than it originally cost
A modern day ‘shooting brake’ is effectively just a “sexier” ‘estate car’ if you’d believe Car Wow, but an adapted one-off Rolls-Royce Wraith version that is to be auctioned later this month with an upper estimate of nearly £500,000 is definitely more than appealing.
Named in honour of the 2015 James Bond film Spectre, the big-booted two-seater to be offered by Bonhams is the creation of the Niels van Roij Design studio – whose £256,000 coachbuilt 2018 Range Rover ‘Adventum Coupé’ we featured in March 2020.
Based on a Rolls-Royce Wraith produced in mid-2015 and first registered in the UK in January 2016, the original car – which had around 11,100 miles on the clock – was last serviced in 2018 and then subjected to an 18-month £260,000 conversion that makes it “one of the costliest cars ever made.”
Driven just 125 miles in the time since, the vehicle is described as being “in excellent condition throughout” and because of the coronavirus pandemic has not been exhibited publicly until now.
Of it, its creator, who worked with Belgian firm Carat Duchatelet to build it, remarked: “The elongated lines signal masterful craftsmanship and exquisite style. A manifestation of Grand Touring in its purest form.”
In a series of videos shared on YouTube in October 2020, Niels van Roij remarked:
“The car has been named after the image of a shadow, a ghost, a spirit if you’d like and has been styled by Niels van Roij Design… As you can see, the car has been styled with a certain sense of drama that harks back to the heydays of shooting brakes in the 1930s.”
“We’ve also overseen the construction process, as we do with all our coachbuilt cars… The outcome is an original design and also historically relevant… The new bodywork allows for very different proportions [that are]… very sculptural.”
“The Silver Spectre shooting brake is strictly limited to only seven examples [since changed to just one] worldwide and it is available with the largest starlight headliner boasting a world’s first celestial infinity nightscape.”
“The Silver Spectre has also been equipped with an increased power output giving a total of 700 horsepower.”
‘The Spectre Shooting Brake’ will be auctioned by Bonhams at their ‘Les Grandes Marques à Monaco’ sale in Monte Carlo on 23rd April.
The Numbers – The Spectre Shooting Brake
23rd April 2021 – Offered at auction by Bonhams in Monaco with an estimate of £320,000 to £480,000 ($440,000 to $660,000, €370,000 to €550,000 or درهم1.6 million to درهم2.4 million).
2018 – 2020 – Cost of conversion estimated to be £260,000 ($360,000, €300,000 or درهم1.3 million) giving a total cost for the creation of circa £448,000 ($618,000, €515,750 or درهم2.3 million).
Base price in 2013 for the original mid-2015 car – £187,000 ($258,000, €215,750 or درهم949,000).
Aside from having ‘suicide doors,’ the shooting brake has a lavishly appointed interior that features highly polished woods and colour matched leather.The boot is large enough to accommodate shotguns, golf clubs or simply a picnic even.A unique picnic hamper trunk comes with the vehicle.The car also features plates from Niels van Roij Design’s studio.Here is a one of one shooting brake that nobody else will ever own. It has been subjected to an increase in power and torque output of the 6.6 liter twin-turbo V12 engine. The standard 632 hp and 800 Nm (or max 870 Nm of torque for Black Badge) has been increased to 700 hp and 900 Nm.
In this video, shared on YouTube, Niels van Roij explains what inspired him to create the car. Going further, on his own website, he added: “We envisioned a daring, three-box rather than two-box shooting brake aesthetic and with that a convention-challenging design. The car features very English proportions inside and out, and uncompromised levels of luxury.”
Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro
“What Ghislaine Maxwell wants, Ghislaine Maxwell gets” would be a fair summary of the past life of the now incarcerated and thankfully not bailed mucky madam.
Yesterday, having previously moaned about her not having a desk, writing surface or email access in August 2020, her lawyer, Christian R. Everdell of Cohen & Gresser LLP, wrote to The Honourable Alison J. Nathan to demand “the Bureau of Prisons give Ms. Maxwell access to the laptop computer [which has more than generously already been made available to her 5 days per week] provided by the government so that she can review discovery on weekends and holidays.”
In spite of her trial commencing in 178 days on 12th July, mucky madam Maxwell’s lawyers argue she is losing “several days of review time every weekend and every holiday because she does not have access to the laptop.”
Going further, they remarked that they have tried to “lift this restriction, but without success” previously and added:
“If Ms. Maxwell is to have any hope of reviewing the millions of documents produced in discovery so that she can properly prepare her defense by the July 12th, 2021 trial date, she must have access to the laptop every day, including weekends and holidays.”
“There is no principled justification for this restriction… The laptop is kept in a locker in the same room where the prison computer is located, so it would not require any change in Ms. Maxwell’s movements to give her the requested access.”
“… Given the millions of documents that Ms. Maxwell must review before trial in order to prepare her defense, it is critical that she be given as much time as possible with the laptop to review the discovery.”
Whatever next? Aside from Maxwell – who also repeatedly complained about her vegan eating habits not being properly catered for in the pokey – no doubt wanting an upgrade to a ritzy MacBook Pro, she’ll almost certainly be demanding Krug on tap next also. What else? Maybe even more inappropriately given what she grubbily used to arrange for the filthy fiend Jeffrey Epstein, a weekly visit from a masseuse as well and a Rolls-Royce to court also?
MacBook Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell, a woman used to having things her way is pictured here in her youth tapping away at an early computer, but that wouldn’t be good enough for her today. No doubt her devoted lapdog-like PR peddler Brian Basham will soon be claiming “it’s not fair” that she doesn’t have a MacBook Pro.MacBook Maxwell – On Tuesday, the ‘Guardian’ reported: “Ghislaine Maxwell is appealing against a judge’s order that she remain jailed in New York while awaiting trial on charges she recruited girls for Jeffrey Epstein to sexually abuse.” Prosecutors unsurprisingly opposed bail and countered: “Maxwell remained a threat to flee in part because she had access to considerable wealth and connections abroad.”MacBook Maxwell –Part of an old ‘HELLO!’ magazine interview with Ghislaine Maxwell from 1997 was shared on Reddit yesterday also. It features a picture of ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ bombastic daughter standing in a cluttered office space and includes quotes such as: “I will go wherever the business is” and remarks including: “I love children… I have always thought that one day I would get married and kids but it has never been a focus. It is not something I have set out to do. My focus is on business, but one day I would also like to get married and have kids.” Going further, the laptop lover added: “I do consulting work for different people in different areas in which I have expertise: publishing, communications, computers.” Get this wicked wench a MacBook Pro now, OR ELSE…
Detached Georgian cottage in Wales goes on for sale for a sum 64% lower than a single parking space in a basement in Knightsbridge
In Knightsbridge right now, Harrods Estates are offering what they term a “spacious” car parking space for the astonishing sum of £225,000 ($302,000, €250,000 or درهم1.1 million) in spite of it having a column intruding into it.
The 8’2” by 15’7” underground space is situated within a building opposite Harrods’ Basil Street entrance and is only available for purchase by those living within a 1,300-foot radius of it. It is held on a lease with 83 years remaining and is subject to a service charge of £743.22 per annum ($1,000, €825 or درهم3,700 per annum).
Whilst this seems surprisingly cheap compared to the £375,000 ($484,000, €448,000 or درهم1.8 million) single space in nearby Ennismore Gardens we featured in February, elsewhere, for those looking to park a lot less money into a serious renovation project, agents Dai Lewis are about to auction what appears from the exterior to be a “quaint” Georgian cottage. Built as an estate manager’s cottage in the late 1700s, 4-bedroom Penbont, near Llandysul in Ceredigion, Wales stands in private gardens adjoining the River Teifi and National Trust woodland, but literally is collapsing inside.
To bid for Penbont in the forthcoming Auction House South Wales sale, click here. Bidding opens on 14th December at 12 noon and ends on the 16th December at 12:02pm. An opening bid of £79,000 ($106,000, €88,000 or درهم390,000) has been set.
The extremely punchily priced Basil Street car park space is entered via a ramp next to Harry’s Dolce Vita.The space is rather limited in that it is intruded upon by a bloody great pillar. You do, however, get a rather swish Rolls-Royce adjoining whatever you park there.Thankfully for the purchaser, Julian Assange has long left the adjoining apartment block.The cottage appears initially quaint in this image.The Welsh cottage literally is full of junk and rather lacking in first floor flooring.There are plenty of old sofas – though nobody other than Onslow from ‘Keeping Up Appearances’ would want to sit on them.The late Laura Ashley wouldn’t exactly rave about the curtains.The staircase is unbelievably intact, but a purchaser would be advised to do something about the wall coverings in the hallway.The kitchen has an original range, but somebody plainly nicked its doors.Those liking double height rooms might feel at home in this space.More recently it was boarded up and resembles a scene from ‘Midsomer Murders.’An outbuilding that isn’t much use to man nor ornament.Plainly, the current owner has a desire to stop gypsy caravans parking.The setting is indeed idyllic, but one needs to be careful of runaway drunk drivers on a Friday
1987 Volkswagen Golf cabriolet – nicknamed ‘Rodney’ – previously owned by ‘Only Fools and Horses’ actor Sir David Jason to be auctioned; sadly, of it, even Del Boy couldn’t claim: “Just one lady owner from new”
Del Boy’s Golf cabriolet – An alpine white 1987 Volkswagen Golf GTI Karmann convertible purchased for Sir David Jason’s late partner, Myfanwy Talog, is to be auctioned later this month, It was subsequently owned by his manager, Sidney Law, and then by his children’s godfather, John Williams.
Unlike the vehicle most associated with the character most famously played by Sir David, the custard yellow Reliant Regal van driven by Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses, the Golf cabriolet that will be hammered down is described as “in sparkling condition, patently cherished and almost certainly a best of breed.”
Sir David Jason and his late partner Myfanwy Talog (1944 – 1995).Del Boy was himself best known for driving a Reliant Regal three wheeler van in the series. There are many replicas, but the original vehicle used by the BBC was sold for £42,000 ($55,000, €47,000 or درهم203,000) in November 2017.Prior to becoming famous Sir David Jason used to joke: “One day, one day I’m going to have a Rolls-Royce.” In Only Fools and Horses, he eventually got one complete with the plate ‘1 DEL.’Boycie, played by John Challis in the series, bought a Jaguar E-Type in the second ever episode of Only Fools and Horses in 1981. Of this birthday gift for his “bit on the side,” he stated: “It’s only E-Type Jaguars and Adam Peaty that makes me proud to be British these days.” In May 2013, interviewed in ‘The Steeple Times,’ Challis stated his personal preference for Aston Martin DB4s.When sold in December 2017, the Golf cabriolet offered this month came with various documentation including a file that stated its nickname as ‘Rodney’ alongside a quote that read: “This car has a longstanding association with David Jason and his family – naturally we call him ‘Rodney.’”
Sold for £17,820 ($23,439, €19,739 or درهم86,080) in December 2017 by Classic Car Auctions Everyman Classics and by Cotswold Classic Car Restorations on another occasion, the car – which was one of just 138 examples produced as part of Volkswagen’s limited edition all-white series – has just under 22,000 miles on the clock.
Silverstone Auctions will offer the car with an estimate of £18,000 to £22,000 ($23,700 to $28,900, €19,900 to €24,400 or درهم86,900 to درهم106,300) at their NEC Classic Live online auction on Saturday 14th November 2020.
In ‘Only Fools and Horses,’ Del Boy was prepared to trade anything – dodgy cars included. “Only one previous owner, a vicar” and “only left his bible in the glove compartment” were amongst the lines in this classic clip.
‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even
Whilst a 1967 Mercedes-Benz ‘Dictator Car we featured in April eventually sold for £237,000 ($298,000, €264,000 or درهم1.1 million), a lover of limousines with far shallower pockets might care to bid on a Japanese example that is headed to auction this month.
Though the word “limousine” originally derived from the “type of carriage hood that physically resembled the cloak worn by shepherds in the Limousin region of France,” this automotive category is now sadly more generally associated with that especially ghastly, much over-used adjective “luxury.”
Limousines are not only considered the preserve of the aforementioned despots, but they’re also the favoured modes of conveyance of business titans, young Arabic and Russian showoffs and rappers now even. A well-known reader of ours even once stated she’d like to have several herself. This friend of royalty added that a collection of security guards running alongside with torches also would complete her ideal spectacle.
Coming in the form of a four-seat, stretched saloon car, the 1994 Toyota Century to be offered was imported to the UK by Mohamad Issa in 2019. It is longer than a Rolls-Royce Phantom, but slightly shorter than a Maybach at 19-feet in length, is presented in black with a black leather interior and was fully serviced in Japan prior to being shipped. The odometer reads 34,500 miles.
Historics Auctioneers will sell the 1994 Toyota Century limousine at their Windsorview Lakes sale on 18th July. They have set an estimate of just £13,000 to £17,000 ($16,300 to $21,300, €14,500 to €18,900 or درهم59,900 to درهم78,300) and describe the car as being: “A stunning example of a rare car even in Japan, this is a real collector’s car that is a sign of wealth and power for the price of a new Ford Fiesta!”
Featured earlier this year in a 19-minute video by two vloggers named Ben and Alfie of a YouTube channel named The Department of Motoring Affairs, of this particular Century they surmised: “People are surprised that this is a Toyota… If you don’t get it by now you don’t belong in the club anyway… If you know, you know” and indeed they’re right: Here is a quirky limousine that you could only originally have had if the Japanese ‘powers that be’ allowed you.
The passenger “compartment” is described as “richly appointed” and includes not only “soft and supple” heated power, leather seats with variable speed massage functions, but also gadgets galore. Most importantly for the notoriously shy Japanese market, the compartment has all-round curtains as well as an electric privacy partition to separate it from the driver’s compartment (with an intercom communications system).There is a cordless 1990s mobile telephone, a television (described as “working but TV to Japanese specification”) with a VHS player, as well as a tape deck built into the rear centre armrest that even has an in-built recording device. A mini fridge also has a heating function for hot food and there is a cabinet containing crystal glasses and a decanter even.A desk can fold out for a mogul who wishes to work whilst on-the-road inside their Toyota Century limousine. It is made of mahogany and for those that wish to ‘drink-and-ride’ there are mahogany glass holders as well.The chauffeur also gets to sit in luxury (unlike in many other limousines). Whilst in original limousines, the chauffeur’s compartment was open, here they get not only a roof, but a leather seat also.Technology is the order of the day given this Toyota Century limousine was manufactured in Japan. The car has automatic transmission, cruise control and a fully functional digital dash.The soft-closing boot contains the original tyre and jacking equipment.The engine is a Lexus 4-litre 5V-EU V8. Of it, Historics Auctioneers remark: “We are informed by the vendor that [it] starts well and pulls strong with the temperature gauge reading a little below half and the automatic transmission shifts are firm and smooth.”From the front; this Toyota Century stretched saloon is described as “clean and straight, the chrome trim and bumpers are all intact and gleaming.” And from the rear; here is a car that Historics Auctioneers laud as having a look “denoting conservative success.”
Historics Auctioneers have produced a video tour of the vehicle to market it to potential purchasers during the coronavirus lockdown.
The 1994 Toyota Century limousine to be auctioned featured in an amusing 19-minute long YouTube video in March this year by vlogger Alfred Munkenbeck and his co-host Ben (surname unknown). They plainly loved the vehicle.
