Today I was sent a scan of a letter written on 6th December 1983 by Spike Milligan. It made me laugh and I thought it most worthy of sharing with readers of The Steeple Times.
The Steeple Times asks model and personality Nicholas Gruber: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?
I try to learn something from everyone I meet.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
Life is short so enjoy a part of every day, even the shitty ones.
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?
Picking on anyone less fortunate than you. That’s why the Republicans lost the election in the US.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
My grandmother, Judy Bolduc. She was the first lesbian in California to adopt a child, my dad.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
Honey, pick up a paper: I did that already for some freedom.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?
Greed is never good in any way, shape or form.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“Thank you so much.” It seems insincere whereas just “thank you” seems genuine.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
Toys for Tots because I know first hand what it feels like to be a kid with nothing under the tree.
The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
It is only appropriate to blow up terrorists.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
My new boyfriend, John Luciano, and my former one, Calvin Klein. Now, that would be one hell of a ride.
Nicholas Gruber
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
Pasta from Bar Pitti. Two helpings. Plus a slice of German chocolate cake.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
I’m sober so for me that would be noon. Joking. I don’t drink but I also don’t judge.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
None of the above. I will take a coconut water please.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
Calvin Klein. He might be three times my age but he can party like a rock star.
Who is the most positive person you know?
A tie between Calvin and John. They both believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
Having a mob related boyfriend who allows me to have girlfriends.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
A glass that was half full because that’s how I roll.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
A smiley face.
Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
Co-owner of the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills with her husband R. J., Cohen is of surprisingly humble origins. She grew up on a chicken farm in Cleveland, Ohio but moved to LA with her divorced mother aged 13 when she opened a Kosher chicken killing plant on Santa Monica Boulevard. This hardworking lady now instead hosts the likes of Rod Stewart, John Tavolta, Quentin Tarrantino, Mel Gibson, Britney Spears and Ryan Seacrest. On an occasion Matthew McConaughey has even been known to park his Airstream on the front lot to barbeque steak for passersby.
Of Italian-Jewish descent, Caring is of the “supermarket-sweep” school of empire building. This billionaire started out in the rag trade but now controls the majority of the top restaurants and clubs in Central London. He survived the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and viewed that to be a wakeup call. Since then he’s donated millions to charity and focused on his two passions: golf and shooting. This buccaneering businessman generally passes on breakfast and lunch and lives between a converted stable block set in 500 acres near Dulverton and a mansion on The Bishops Avenue. What will he buy next?
A marine residence with a history tied to the Rolls-Royce Spirit of Ecstasy, the Special Operations Executive and Babycham
The House on the Shore on Thorns Beach at Beaulieu in Hampshire is a home that wouldn’t look out of place in the Hamptons or Rhode Island. Dramatically situated next to the Solent waters to the north of the Isle of Wight, this suitably named building wouldn’t have been out of place in the 1980s BBC series Howards’ Way. It could. Indeed, have been an ideal home for Gerald and Polly Urquhart. (more…)