Tag: Jordan

  • Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding

    Normally it’s his boozed-up, ‘mummy figure’ and all-round washed-up wastrel wife Judy Finnigan who makes the headlines for such things as tittie flashing, but, today, motormouthed madman Richard Madeley made headlines in The Sun after ludicrously claiming he “suffered from PTSD after his son’s wedding.”

     

    Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is something defined by the NHS as “anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening or distressing events” and its causes are listed on their website as such things as:

     

    • Serious road accidents.
    • Violent personal assaults, such as sexual assault, mugging or robbery.
    • Serious health problems.
    • Childbirth experiences.

     

    Though messed-up maniac Madeley soppily suggested worrying about his son’s nuptials had been “so choppy,” his comparison of his situation to such yet again proves this utter nutter to be nothing but a blithering berk. “How very dare he insult those who’ve fought in war zones and survived rape and torture,” commented one especially irate reader in an email to The Steeple Times.

     

    ‘Deranged Dicky’ – Please keep taking your happy pills; you plainly need ‘em, old chap.

     

    Richard Madeley’s ‘finest’ moments

    On his son’s wedding

    “There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”

     

    In conversation with President Clinton

    “I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

     

    Of women

    “I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

     

    On elephants

    “So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

     

    To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

    “Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

     

    In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus

    “We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”

     

    On lockdowns

    “There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”

     

    Of old women skipping

    “There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

     

    Of wanting to be black

    “I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

     

    To Keira Knightley

    “Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

     

    Of an autistic teenager

    “The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

     

    To a caller

    “I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

     

    Richard Madeley Ali G
    When Richard Madeley dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning,’ it was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history,” ‘Digital Spy’ reported.
    Richard Madeley dressed as Judy Finnigan
    On another occasion, attention seeking Madeley dressed up as his very own wife. Clearly, this crackpot’s ‘mummy’ issues are genuinely really an issue.
    Richard Madeley Diana Princess of Wales 1
    In recent days, Twitter users – aside from suggesting it as resembling a cross between Theresa May and Sean Bean – have argued that the new Diana, Princess of Wales actually could be of Richard Madeley. No doubt, television’s ultimate twerp will actually be annoyed that it’s not his name on the statue instead; one could imagine a monument to his ‘genius’ in Trafalgar Square potentially also.
    The telly-box twerp is regularly compared to Alan Partridge and can be relied upon to play the fool at the drop of a hat.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcx3FUarNiI&t=1s
    Alleged shoplifter Madeley’s ‘mummy’ wife, Judy Finnigan, is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended a footballer later convicted of rape by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person… She had far too much to drink.”
  • Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan)

    Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan)

    Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal”

    Fresh from having shared his totally irrelevant and frankly insane views about coronavirus last October, alleged shoplifter Richard Madeley has sought to get himsef back in the mix in a joint interview in the Mirror this morning with his allegedly constantly pissed-off-her-skull wife, Judy Finnigan.

     

    In a feature titled “Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan’s heartbreaks – affair, baby loss and health battles” by ‘showbiz features writer’ Frances Kindon, no mention was made of Madeley’s possible penchant for helping himself in supermarkets, but instead the focus was on how the couple first met.

     

    Of an epic encounter that led to “the most solid union in showbiz,” Kindon gloriously remarked: “Their paths first crossed in a newsroom back in 1982 when Judy, 72, was asked to mentor a younger Richard, 64, and greeted him with the words, ‘Hello… I’m your Mummy’” before then adding that their own daughter finds “the amount of time they spend together is not normal.”

     

    Elsewhere in the puff piece, Kindon reveled in ‘Dick and Dude’s’ “natural chemistry” and celebrated their “whole lot of red-hot chemistry” and positions as “the nation’s favourites.” She referenced “hurtful rumours” about them and then even allowed “sexual oversharer” Madeley to give a riposte. In it, he remarked:

     

    “We’d gone away for a week to Cornwall with our children, and the mobile went in the car.”

     

    “It was our bosses at Granada saying a terrible rumour was being put around that you’re in a self-help institution for men who batter their wives because you’ve beaten Judy, that Judy’s in a drying-out clinic and that the children are in care. We were in the f**king car.”

     

    “We tracked it to the source… A particularly poisonous person. He’d leaked these smears and they were never published because we would have cleaned up in a libel case. But the one thing that lingered like a piece of floating sewage is this thing that Judy drinks. And she doesn’t.”

     

    Hmm… The picture above clearly tells otherwise.

     

    Richard Madeley’s ‘finest’ moments

    In conversation with President Clinton

    “I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

     

    Of women

    “I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

     

    On elephants

    “So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

     

    To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

    “Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

     

    Of old women skipping

    “There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

     

    Of wanting to be black

    “I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

     

    To Keira Knightley

    “Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

     

    Of an autistic teenager

    “The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

     

    To a caller

    “I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

     

    Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Richard and Judy – Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal.”
    Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Judy Finnigan is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended footballer turned convicted rapist by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.” Of his victim, she hypocritically then added: “She had far too much to drink.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=rcx3FUarNiI&feature=emb_logo
    Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.

  • A three grand Bentley

    A three grand Bentley

    Buy an “increasingly collectible” Bentley for just £3,000 (more…)

  • Tracy Edwards MBE: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Tracy Edwards MBE: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks round the world sailor Tracy Edwards: “What’s on your mantelpiece?” (more…)

  • Pricing publicity

    Pricing publicity

    Katie Price’s antics set her on Titanic course

     

    When Katie Price married a part-time stripper named Kieran Hayler in January 2013 everyone cried “publicity stunt” and now she’s supposedly divorcing him, people are rightly shouting the same. (more…)

  • Pink and Pricey

    Pink and Pricey

    Katie Price tries to sell her pink Range Rover

     

    Katie Price is a woman known for not being particularly refined. With the sale of her pink Range Rover, a buyer of equally poor taste could acquire this hideous vehicle for £69,950. (more…)

  • A house that hasn’t sold in 14 years

    A house that hasn’t sold in 14 years

    ‘Cotswold style’ mansion dramatically reduced in price after 14 years on the market

     

    Americans love all things British and they especially love to replicate our architecture. In the Northern Californian town of Hillsborough, a fine example is a 35,000 square foot mansion named The Tobin Clark Estate. (more…)

  • The Royal Borough is alive with the taste of fondue

    The Royal Borough is alive with the taste of fondue

    An evening of fondue at Bodo’s Schloss in Kensington

     

    Bodo’s Schloss, a restaurant, bar and disco reminiscent of an Austrian alpine lodge, opened late last year and became an instant hit with the Chelsea set. For them and personalities such as Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow, in fact, it’s rather like a little slice of Lech and Zürs has come to London.

      (more…)

  • Deborah Walker: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Deborah Walker: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks matchmaker Deborah Walker: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

    ‘The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible”. (more…)

  • Picture of the Week: White fleece

    Picture of the Week: White fleece

    Amy Childs: A brash young lady with questionable taste

     

    Our last picture of the week featuring a Range Rover Sport was of one that had been driven by a couple described in the comments section of a Mail Online article as a “pair of pillocks in a puddle.” We subsequently received a Tweet from one of them whining about our article in which he stated that our editor was a “prat.” Those that saw this, excuse the pun, laughed like drains about such a missive coming from a person who drove their car into a flooded ford and then wondered why that vehicle sank.

     

    Amy Childs in a well managed pose with signage for a tyre company, a new car, a new numberplate and another of her vehicles

    Mr and Mr Drewitt-Barlow, primarily known for having had five children by a surrogate, had been at an event named Essex Fashion Week on the evening in question and today’s picture features another of their number, the former The Only Way is Essex “star,” Amy Childs along with two white Range Rover Sport vehicles.

     

    Miss Childs, a “beautician” aged 22, is someone who has been moulded into a “brand” by Claire Powell of Can Associates, a lady who variously has been the representative of Katie Price, Peter Andre and Kerry Katona. Though the appearance fees Childs received on TOWIE were “minimal,” she’s amazingly made a lot of money since “[shooting] to fame in 2010.” Childs, the Mail revealed, has just spent £80,000 of her new found wealth on a personalised plate based on her favourite phrase, WE11 JEL.

     

    Whilst the Mail Online suggest Childs posing in the lot of Imperial Cars in Romford with her new Range Rover and its expensive plate came about because she “outbid a premiership footballer and a TOWIE producer to win” it in a DVLA auction, we’re not entirely convinced.

     

    The Mail are especially keen to share with their readers that Amy Childs paid for the car itself on her American Express platinum card but publishing an image of her in a far from glamorous yard under a sign for “part worn tyres” and next to a wheelie bin just looks silly. This story seems just as staged and ludicrous as that of the puddle dwellers and for that reason we make this Essex girl and her pointless “purchases” our picture of the week.

     

    Read the Mail Online’s report about WE11 JEL at: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2238775/Former-TOWIE-star-Amy-Childs-shows-customised-licence-plates–cost-80-000-privilege.html