Tag: Hampstead

Moneybags Madeley’s £500k Pay Day

Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV

Tellybox twerp Richard Madeley well and truly hit the jackpot this morning with revelations that he’s getting £200,000 to appear on ITV1’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! this month as well as an annual salary of £300,000 to present the same channel’s Good Morning Britain going forward from December.

First reported by the MailOnline’s Eve Buckland, news that motormouthed Madeley will replace Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain “alongside a revolving team of guest presenters” was immediately condemned on social media. According to Buckland, Judy Finnigan’s annoying husband “is expected to host for two or three days a week.”

Assessing why the former This Morning co-host – whose cringeworthy car crash Alan Partridge-esque moments we feature below – decided to take on the role, a source commented:

“[Richard had a] heart to heart [with Judy]… [He] has always maintained he would never do GMB full-time, as he loves his life as it is.”

“But as the weeks have gone by, and he’s proven a constant hit with viewers, he’s really got into his stride and has been enjoying it more and more. He polls really well with fans and ratings have steadily been on the rise again over the past six months.”

“After a couple of meetings with ITV bosses, he was offered a full-time contract. And after consulting with his family, especially wife Judy, he decided ‘sod it’ – and to go for it.”

On Twitter, one user, Matthew Payne, declared of the channel’s decision: “Money for old rope. A sad, biased, ill-informed prat” whilst another, Rob McGuire, added: “[He’s just] a tactless, ignorant, rich, Tory clown.” Going further, quite rightly, John Slater concluded: “The bottom of the barrel has well and truly been scraped.”

‘Moneybags Madeley’ – whose washed-up wastrel wife is best known for necking rather than sipping her booze and flashing her tits at awards ceremonies – must be doing cartwheels. He’ll no longer have to worry about being accused of shoplifting champagne when heading down the booze aisle at Waitrose. The Krug’s most definitely now on him.

‘Moneybags Madeley’ – as he will henceforth also be known – is often compared to the inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge. They not only look alike, but also are equally incompetent and tactless. Twitter users regularly condemn Romford, Essex born Madeley as “daft” and as a “pompous prat.”

‘Moneybags Madeley’ once dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning.’ It was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history.”

In April this year, we revealed that the one-time classmate of ‘Spreadsheet Phil,’ the former Tory chancellor Philip Hammond, Madeley was being followed by Ghislaine Maxwell’s PR team on Twitter and that he’d written two columns in the ‘Daily Express’ in which he expressed “empathy” for the currently incarcerated alleged mucky madam.

‘Moneybags’ Madeley’s Finest Moments

On his son’s wedding

“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”

Of his daughter

“Sorry Chloe, but you were an accident and you know it!”

In conversation with President Clinton

“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

Of women

“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

Of alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell

“The sharks are circling; they smell blood in the water… Cynics would say the [FBI] agency is playing a long game, seeking to sway the minds of jurors in advance of Maxwell’s trial next year… Innocent until proven guilty? That honourable credo is in shreds.”

“Firstly, consider the conditions under which Ms Maxwell is being held. They are truly grim… It would take a heart of stone not to feel empathy for another human being suffering what amounts to mental torture. To coin a phrase: you wouldn’t treat a dog like that.”

“But it’s not sadism, or premature punishment ahead of a verdict. No; there’s calculated purpose behind this pitiless regime. But, here’s another prediction… it will. They’re trying to break her.”

On elephants

“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

Showing sympathy for people who died in quicksand in Morecambe Bay

“Yes, what an awful way to die.”

In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus and lockdowns

“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”

“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”

“We must learn to live with coronavirus.”

“If I had a bell, I would ring it… Only 59 people who have been double vaccinated and without any other serious underlying health problems, died from COVID, out of 50,000 deaths in England, this year.”

“I have to say that the majority of people are surprisingly forgiving [to government representative Steve Barclay], and are actually saying that they understand that the reason for some of the mistakes wasn’t malpractice but scientific ignorance – we didn’t know enough… But on the whole, you seem to be getting away with it – as far as our viewers are concerned.”

Of old women skipping

“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

Of wanting to be black

“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

To Keira Knightley

“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

Of an autistic teenager

“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s ‘Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

To a caller

“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

Judy Finnigan’s decision to defend footballer Ched Evans – jailed for 5 years in 2012 for allegedly raping a 19-year-old – on ‘Loose Women’ in October 2014 shocked the nation. Responding at the time, Katie Russell, of Rape Crisis England and Wales remarked: “Judy Finnegan’s comments are really unfortunate and could potentially cause some hurt and distress to the many survivors of sexual violence who will inevitably have been watching ‘Loose Women’ and who will read and hear her views reported.”

‘Moneybags’ Madeley and Finnigan are often pictured out boozing. Often, ‘Mummy Finnigan’ looks a little beyond pissed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcx3FUarNiI&feature=emb_logo
Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.

November 3, 2021
Who REALLY is Henry Newman?

Whilst only a few newspapers have delved into his political past, we today ask: “Who REALLY is the bestie of Carrie Symonds and alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ Henry Newman?”

In 2019, ‘Carrie Symonds’ bestie’ and supposed clatterfart Henry Newman described Dominic Cummings as “one of only a few political advisers who understands the importance of, and is truly committed to, reforming the Whitehall machine.” In April 2020, Cummings responded by branding Newman a leaker.

Now, as the media delve into the scandal of Boris Johnson’s hole riddled ship and he seeks to dissipate the disgrace of his decorating debacle, with Cummings’ intervention on Friday, elements of the media have begun to examine exactly who Henry Newman is.

Whilst widely referenced for dancing to ABBA with his longstanding chum Symonds and for being the go-to mouthpiece in support of Brexit during Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit” era, Newman should also go down in history for banging on about a need for fortnightly bin collections in Hampstead and Kilburn and for his somewhat bizarre Facebook ramblings.

On his wall on the social media site, former special adviser (SPAD) to Francis Maude and Michael Gove, Newman – a graduate of ritzy institutions including the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics – has shared posts about being drunk. He has remarked that he was once “discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie” and bragged that he even listened “to the Stones as the economy [collapsed].”

Tellingly also, this one-time “rising star” and “Goveite” also declared he was “drowning in honey, stingless” and, most appropriately, providing illustration of why Daylesford addict ‘Costly Carrie’ counts him as “one of her four favourite people,” once announced: “[I’m] opening an organic box.”

‘Henry The Bin Boy’ Newman’s words of wisdom on Facebook…

“Is drunk.”

“Is opening an organic box.”

“Is discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie.”

“Is drowning in honey, stingless.”

“Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger.”

“Wondering if he is really a top concern for US immigration.”

“Waiting for Jacqui Smith to resign.”

“Is dancing, dancing, dancing… Is listening to rumba in W. Hartford… Is dancing in the dark… Is missing dancing.”

“Is listening to the Stones while the economy collapses.”

“Is watching his tan fall off.”

“Hates people who don’t know how to use a rowing machine.”

“Is thinking what this country needs is a new taskforce.”

Who is Henry Newman? Facebook posts by him give a clue to his personality.

Descriptions of Henry Newman by…

Boris Johnson:

“One of my three musketeers.”

Carrie Symonds:

“One of my four favourite people.”

Toby Young:

“He is new role model… If you were a [politics show] booker who had to find someone… Newman was the only name on your Rolodex.”

“As the oxygen went out of Theresa May’s premiership, and her withdrawal agreement began to breathe its last, the great balloon of his career became more and more inflated.”

Dominic Cummings:

“All the evidence [regarding the second lockdown leak] definitely leads to Henry Newman… I’m just trying to get the communications data to prove it.”

An unnamed “senior government source”:

“The allegations against Henry Newman are entirely false. He wouldn’t be working in Downing Street if he was suspected of leaking information.”

Follow Henry Newman on his now somewhat secretive social media (if he lets you) at @henryjohnnewman on Facebook, @henryjohnnewman on Instagram and @HenryNewman on Twitter.

Who is Henry Newman? A fan of wearing beanie hats that declare: “Let’s get Brexit done,” here is a young man who taught politics at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), after studying at the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics. He reportedly then “cut his teeth” working in the Cabinet Office during the coalition government years and then joined Michael Gove’s entourage in the Ministry of Justice after he was appointed as the Lord Chancellor in 2015.

Who is Henry Newman? Aside from having travelled to Russia in his youth, Newman joined the Vote Leave campaign during the 2016 referendum campaign and, according to ‘The Telegraph’ “was among a close circle of Mr Gove’s friends who were said to have helped to convince him to ‘knife’ Mr Johnson and torpedo his bid for the Tory leadership by deciding to run himself.” Later, a director of the pro-Brexit Open Europe think-tank, Newman was then rewarded for being “loyal” to Carrie Symonds when Boris Johnson came to power.

Who is Henry Newman? Let’s not forget that this young man’s best friend Carrie Symonds was previously dating a man, Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), exposed by the BBC in October 2016 for a Russian fake news scandal and for his friendship with Henry Hopwood-Phillips, an individual involved in the far-right, racist Traditional Britain Group. Miss Symonds must be noted also for her having been employed by Oceana, an oceanic charity that Ghislaine Maxwell – the now incarcerated alleged mucky madam to Jeffrey Epstein – was also a tin banger for.

https://twitter.com/JoshBerryComedy/status/1386235119002955776

April 25, 2021
Flattening a Fountain

Boxy “Town Hall classical style” dictator crib ‘The Fountains’ on infamous The Bishops Avenue, N2 for sale for £3 million less than it listed for in 2012; this time it is destined for flattening

When we featured a 12,602 square foot house on The Bishops Avenue – a street often nicknamed ‘Billionaire’s Row” and a place where the Greek fashion tycoon Aristos Constantinou was shot dead on New Year’s Day 1985 with six bullets – in May 2015, it was for sale for £15 million.

Standing on a 0.65-acre plot, ‘The Fountains’ – originally named ‘Deans Cote’ and more simply known as just ‘39 The Bishops Avenue’ – has simply been left to rot in the time since and has now been placed on the market, but this time listed as just “land for sale.”

Gone, here, are the day of deviant dignitaries and dodgy despots entertaining in this house – built in 1926 and mocked more recently as “very boxy” and of a “Town Hall classical style” – and now, though much of the same furniture remains six years later, Knight Frank offer it for £12 million.

In spite of the £3 million reduction at a time when prices for houses with land has elsewhere risen, the seller has also spent time and money to gain planning permission to flatten the house and replace it with a larger 23,695 square foot “grand new build residence.”

Of the proposals, Knight Frank remark:

“The designs elevate the quality of the internal accommodation, offering increased lateral volume and a luxurious sense of space throughout.”

“The proposed residence comprises six-bedroom suites and a new lower ground floor with staff quarters and a range of additional amenity and leisure facilities including swimming pool, gym, cinema, catering kitchen and secure car parking.”

“The proposed landscaping for the private rear gardens includes a sensitive restoration of the historic water feature and pavilion.”

In 2014, whilst the Guardian revealed that of the 66 houses on the street, 16 were derelict and rotting, local estate agent Trevor Abrahmsohn bragged of it in 2006: “Among the wealthiest circles in the world, The Bishops Avenue is better known than Buckingham Palace. It’s a significant demonstration of status. If you live there, you don’t need to explain to people that you’re rich.”

When the house was marketed in 2012, Knight Frank made specific reference to the house having “majilis” or “private places where guests, usually male, are received and entertained.” Goodness knows, however, who was received in this airport sized room, but it certainly looks like a place that would have suited Saddam Hussein a treat.

The Numbers – The Fountains, 39 The Bishops Avenue, Hampstead Garden Suburb, London, N2 0BA, United Kingdom

April 2021 – Offered for sale for £12 million ($16.6 million, €13.9 million or درهم61 million) with planning permission to demolish and replace through Knight Frank’s Hampstead office.

May 2015 – Offered for sale for £15 million ($20.8 million, €17.3 million or درهم76.2 million) through Knight Frank and Glentree on behalf of executors of persons unnamed.

Today, instead of lauding its gaudy past, Knight Frank share this mockup of an even larger mansion that could replace the existing 1926-built structure.

Another mockup shows the proposed replacement from the rear.

The current entrance hall is somewhere the 1980s soap opera ‘Dynasty’s’ Alexis Colby (played by Joan Collins) would certainly feel in ecstasy.

The entrance is dominated by balconies and plenty of gold paint.

Acres of marble were used throughout the existing structure.

There’s plenty of filthy shagpile too.

The dining room today retains the very same table that was there in 2015. It’s certainly got enough seats for even the likes of Mohammed bin Salman even to host an interrogation with David Cameron and Lex Greenskill.

A corridor leading to the main “majali.”

The “majali” has been cleared of furnishings, but retains a few tacky chandeliers and columns.

The decrepit kitchen is an area that would not exactly appeal to Nigella Lawson or Delia Smith even.

The master bedroom has fallen into decline and features a carpet dotted with brown stains and a filthy looking pair of beds.

Another bedroom resembles something out of an OAP home.

The master bathroom has retained its frankly hideous murals.

The “majalis” from above with an overgrown ‘patio’ separating them.

The garden is somewhat neglected, but not nearly in as bad a condition as those of some of the neighbouring mansions.

Supposedly, these fountains are of historic value. At the moment, they’re just a tip.

The existing floor plans.

The proposed plans for the ground and basement levels include a new swimming pool, gym and cinema room.

Plans for the first floor and a new second floor.

Barratt Homes on steroids – The Fountains, 39 The Bishops Avenue, London, N2 as it was in 2015.

April 18, 2021
Susie Steiner

“I’m sorry I still love him” unabashedly declared author, journalist and “stationary addict” Susie Steiner of Tony Blair on Twitter during the coronavirus lockdown whilst amusingly adding of Boris Johnson: “If only I could retreat to Chequers.” Registered fully blind and a mother of two, this former Guardian commissioning editor did a “little one-page feature, showing the ‘Keep Calm’ poster as one of her favourite things” in 2005. “After that, all hell broke loose,” according to Stuart Manley, co-owner of Barter Books of Alnwick, and what Steiner terms a “message of stoicism and patience” went viral. She thinks “it’s had its day now” and after publishing her first novel, Homecoming, in 2013, this West Hampstead based Londoner signed “significant six-figure” deals for her subsequent works. “Susie is a joy to publish” remarked Suzie Dooré of Borough Press, whilst she herself gave away the secret to her much deserved success in a 2016 interview with The Hampstead & Highgate Express: “I’m very disciplined about my work… The daily-ness is what matters; it’s being in contact with it all the time that keeps the work alive in your mind. Your mind is doing it even when your trogging up the hill from school or waiting in the hairdressers. It fingers it like a pebble in your pocket.”

April 20, 2020
Jackie Collins OBE (born Jacqueline Collins, 1937 – 2015)

The younger sister of the diva-esque actress Joan Collins, “Queen of the Bonkbuster” Jackie Collins wrote 32 novels and sold over 500 million books during her lifetime. (more…)

September 20, 2015
Travels with du Maurier

Travelex founder puts the childhood home where Daphne du Maurier allegedly conducted two of her most illicit relationships on the market for £32 million (more…)

September 14, 2014
Camila Batmanghelidjh CBE

Larger than life Camila Batmanghelidjh was born in Tehran and was once described as “Britain’s most colourful charity leader”. (more…)

August 20, 2014
Lady Camilla Bloch (born Lady Camilla Bingham)

Hampstead based and a barrister by profession, Oxford educated Lady Bloch is the daughter of suspected murderer Lord Lucan. Asked how she’d describe her father to her son, Bloch told The Scotsman: “I’ll tell Cameron that his grandfather was tall, dark and handsome – a professional gambler who loved powerboating and the Cresta Run in St Moritz”. Of her father himself, she told The Mail on Sunday: “He has never been able to defend himself and the evidence was not conclusive. It was circumstantial”.

November 3, 2013
Russkie rubbish

Jana Bakunina Meets The Russians

Last week, I was adamant to boycott the new show on Fox, Meet The Russians, which promised nothing but a reality TV spin on the stereotypical Russian expats in London: filthy rich, Knightsbridge-dwelling, vodka-drinking, fur-clad billionaires. And then I thought that I may have created a stereotype of my own: this show needn’t be bad and surely the promotional videos featuring wannabe popstar Kamalyia are overstating the ‘cringe factor’. (more…)

September 26, 2013
The Rt. Hon. The Lady Garden of Frognal

It’s quite simple. With a name like hers, this Oxford educated Liberal Democrat peer ought to be made the President of the Royal Horticultural Society.

May 24, 2013