The Steeple Times

Tag: crap

  • Taxi For ‘Has-Been’ – The “Catastrophic” Crap Of Prince Harry

    Taxi For ‘Has-Been’ – The “Catastrophic” Crap Of Prince Harry

    After ‘Has-Been’ Prince Harry nonsensically claimed he was pursued for TWO HOURS by paparazzi, all he has proven is that he’s nothing but a whining whingebag

    “When you’re in the middle of a near catastrophic car chase wouldn’t you put on your seat belt?” quite rightly enquired the spoof Twitter account Audrey fforbes-Hamilton on Wednesday evening of Prince Harry’s allegations that paparazzi pursued him, his wife and his mother-in-law in New York for two hours on Tuesday.

     

    After having put in an appearance at the astoundingly overpriced £795,000 ($1 million, €915,000 or درهم3.7 million) for two tables Ms. Foundation for Women awards dinner at the Ziegfeld Ballroom at 141 West 54th Street – where the mendacious menace formerly known as Meghan Markle laughably received a ‘Woman of Vision award in spite of clearly being totally lacking in ‘vision’ of anything other than power and privilege – the trio claim to have been involved in a two hour “near catastrophic” car chase around Manhattan.

     

    An unnamed spokesperson for ‘Walmart Wallis’ and her dopey drip ‘Has-Been’ hubby subsequently whined:

     

    “[On Tuesday[ night, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and [Doria] Ragland were involved in a near catastrophic car chase at the hands of a ring of highly aggressive paparazzi.”

     

    “This relentless pursuit, lasting over two hours, resulted in multiple near collisions involving other drivers on the road, pedestrians and two NYPD officers.”

     

    “While being a public figure comes with a level of interest from the public, it should never come at the cost of anyone’s safety.”

     

    “Dissemination of these images, given the ways in which they were obtained, encourages a highly intrusive practice that is dangerous to all in involved.”

     

    However, according to The Sun: “Cabbie Sukhcharn Singh, who picked up the Sussexes and Meghan’s mum Doria Ragland, said they ‘obviously didn’t grow up in New York.’ He added: ‘I think that’s all, you know, exaggerated. I don’t think I’d call it a chase.’”

     

    Going further the paper added: “A high-ranking NYPD insider said the chase ‘definitely wasn’t two hours,’ adding its escort had around 20 minutes of interaction with Meghan and Harry’s convoy.”

     

    Speaking to The Guardian, Julian Phillips, NYPD deputy commissioner for public information, observed:

     

    “The NYPD assisted the private security team protecting the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. There were numerous photographers that made their transport challenging. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex arrived at their destination and there were no reported collisions, summonses, injuries, or arrests in regard.”

     

    Tellingly: “Buckingham Palace has declined to comment on the reports,” but, naturally, the meddling mouthpiece Omid Scobie had to get his plastic-not-fantastic face onto the screens to spout salaciously about the non-incident. Speaking to the BBC’s Newsnight – a show that should know better than to bring on this tittle-tattling twerp – the one-time ‘bestie’ of the not-so-glamorous glamour model Jodie Marsh whinged:

     

    “It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken.”

     

    “You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation.”

     

    “You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.”

     

    It is now time for just one further development; it is time for ‘MeGain’ and ‘Has-Been’ to take a taxi to Siberia.

     

    Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Do you believe claims of dopey drip Prince Harry & his mendacious menace wife, the wicked wench formerly known as Meghan Markle, that they spent TWO HOURS being chased around NYC by paparazzi?” By 11:30am on Friday 19th May 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “No; exaggerated nonsense.”
    On ‘Newsnight’ PR peddling pillock Omid Scobie whined: “It is impossible not to think of Princess Diana when we hear about car accidents and this kind of aggressive paparazzi chase and so, I was really surprised to hear from sources that not one member of the royal family – including King Charles and Prince William, who are obviously heavily affected by Princess Diana’s death – had not reached out to Prince Harry hours after this news had broken. You know, it was sort of on every single headline around the world. Sadly, that shows the kind of disrepair that that relationship is. It is hard not to forget that Harry was here just a couple of weeks ago for King Charles’s coronation. You would have thought that that may go towards building some kind of path towards reconciliation in some way, but it seems like that’s not felt on the other side and that would no doubt of been a sort of disappointing addition to what had already been a traumatic 12 hours for the couple.
    Omid Scobie Newsnight
    Omid Scobie being sent on a media circuit gadabout to bang on about the non-event is further proof that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have well and truly lost the plot. This couple would do well to belt up, wrap up and shut up, but sadly they simply won’t.
    Twitter Berk Prince Harry Matthew Steeples
    On Friday morning, Matthew Steeples observed on Twitter: “Prince Harry is a brain dead berk. Period.” Hundreds of people liked and shared the tweet and thus provided indication of how the public view the Duke and Duchess of Sussex as now nothing but a laughing stock and in the league of the late Duke and Duchess of Windsor; here is a couple who frankly would do better just to give up. Equally, the former Meghan Markle’s decision to accept an award has rightly been called out. Royals should GIVE OUT awards, they SHOULD NOT accept them. Here is another example of the duo’s attitude of “rights over responsibilities” shining through. Shame on the pair of rotten toerags.
    Map of Prince Harry New York chase
    An annotated map, courtesy of a ‘Daily Mail’ report, shows the route the couple took. It proves that their claim of the incident lasting two hours is total twaddle. This ‘storm-in-a-teacup’ is nothing but just that. In attempting to play the Diana, Princess of Wales accident card, all the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have achieved is to make utter fools of themselves. They should be reminded: “When you are in a hole, it is best to stop digging.”

    What’s the truth about the many ‘curious stories’ that abound about the Duchess of Sussex?

    • In November 2021, the duchess was forced to apologise to the Appeal Court in London for making a misleading statement in her privacy case against The Mail on Sunday’s publishers.
    • Her very own father, Thomas, has called out her many untruths about him and others again, again and again.
    • Of her claiming having got married the day before she actually did, Mr Markle stated: “Lying about the archbishop? How can you say: ‘We’ve been married three days before we got married’? Her lies are so obvious, I don’t know why she says them.”
    • Her very own half-sister, Samantha Markle, who is currently bringing a defamation case against her, has called her out as a liar on multiple occasions also. It has been proven that the duchess’s claim that she hasn’t seen her sibling in over 20 years was untrue given a photo of the pair together 14 years ago proves quite to the contrary.
    • Her very own half-brother, Thomas Jr., said of her: “I told Prince Harry, I think she’s going to ruin your life. She’s very shallow… She’s a phony, a bully, a jaded, shallow, conceited woman.”
    • The wife of Prince Harry has been called out on multiple occasions for spinning stories against other members of the royal family, most especially the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Camilla.
    • Staff who’ve worked for her have complained that she is a bully and investigations into this remain ongoing.
    • The Duchess of Sussex is a known manipulator of the press and paparazzis and it has been claimed that she’ll “twist the truth” to get any headline she wants.
    • Questions remain as to how many times she’s actually been married in total. Some say twice, some say thrice.
    • What’s the truth about Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland? Is this clearly equally manipulative woman an honest and decent citizen or is she a jailbird who has spent time in the clink?
    • Did the ‘Montecito Meddler’ meet Prince Andrew or Prince Harry first? Rumours abound that she could have spent time and holidayed with the former as long ago as 2001 and that her claim to have no prior knowledge of the royal family until 2016 is just utter baloney.
    • “Would you trust this woman with a bargepole?” is something often asked of this money motivated minx.

     

  • Courting Expletives

    Courting Expletives

    Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of the nation; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward

    Proof that the use of expletives in public documents has plainly become completely acceptable came in the form of a judgment emailed late last week by the official Courts And Tribunals Judiciary website to subscribers to their civil judgments list.

     

    Concerning the matter of social housing provider Jigsaw Homes Tameside against a woman plainly in need of an ASBO named Emma Rivers, the document from the County Court at Manchester detailed a breach.

     

    Somewhat surprisingly presented without a single asterisk and packed with expletives, the half page summary very clearly and very simply read:

     

    “On Friday 26th March 2021, the Defendant admitted the following breach of her injunction order – 1. On 31st December 2020, around 4pm, the Respondent used abusive, insulting and foul language towards Linda Price whilst stood in Sellars Square. This included ‘You wanna control your fucking grandkids you stupid old fucking cow’ and ‘Or what, or fucking what you stupid old cow, giving your fucking crap out all the time who do you think you are?’ and ‘Shut up you stupid cow’. It is alleged this conduct constitutes a breach of clause 1 and 2 of the Order dated 29th April 2020.”

     

    How utterly charming an indication on the state of Great Britain this truly is and plainly how lovely a woman Emma Rivers genuinely must be.

     

    Courting Expletives 2021 – Emma Rivers v Jigsaw Homes Tameside – Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of once Great Britain; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.
    Courting Expletives – The half page document that shows Emma Rivers to be nothing other than a potty mouthed harridan. Given the creosoted creature and notorious napkin slapper Dawn Ward doesn’t live far away, one wonders if this fellow criminal hasn’t paid her a visit to train her in how to be the ultimate example of the use of foul language.
    Courting Expletives 2021 – Emma Rivers v Jigsaw Homes Tameside – Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of once Great Britain; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.
    Courting Expletives – The email sent to subscribers to the Courts And Tribunals Judiciary Civil judgments list on 8th April 2021.
    Courting Expletives 2021 – Emma Rivers v Jigsaw Homes Tameside – Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of once Great Britain; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.
    Courting Expletives – Emma Rivers plainly has form: Previously in March 2020, the ‘Tameside Reporter’ commented on recent cases at Tameside Magistrates’ Court and stated: “Tameside magistrates have banned Emma Rivers from the road for 17 months for drink driving and fined her £120. The 37-year-old, of Sellars Square, Droylsden, pleaded guilty to the charge after being stopped on Stockport Road, Denton, on November 17 last year. She was found to have 60 microgrammes of alcohol in 100 millilitres of breath. The legal limit is 35. Magistrates ordered her to pay £85 court costs and a £32 victim surcharge. The driving disqualification can be reduced by 17 weeks if a driving course is successfully completed.”
  • The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

    The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

    New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good

    A onetime contributor of ours is best known for saying: “It’s good” of almost any situation and in 1 Rivers Edge Drive in Colts Neck, Monmouth County we’ve discovered what is quite possibly the best ever example of: “It’s so bad, it’s good” in architectural terms.

     

    Styled from outside in the form of an atypical ‘McMansion’ or ‘Hummer House,’ the 5,420 square foot ‘palace’ of a property on offer for sale currently stands in a community described by realtor Jason Mitchell as “the gem of New Jersey.”

     

    Whilst the property hawker lists the area as a “most affluent suburb” and a place having “country flair,” he neglects to mention the township was the scene of a gruesome familial “mansion mass murder” in 2018. The case against businessman Paul Caneiro is ongoing, but on a more positive note for music lovers, rock and roll legend Bruce Springsteen is listed by Wikipedia as the “township’s largest equestrian farm” owner.

     

    1 Rivers Edge Drive itself is something quite extraordinary in terms of its tackiness. Featured on the Facebook Architectural Crimes group last weekend, here is an example of what one Brandon Vescovo described as: “The ugliest house in all of New Jersey.” Going further, he added: You might click through the exterior pictures and think ‘eh, this isn’t that bad, just landscaped and stoned to within an inch of its life’ – but, oh no. Oh no. It’s always the inside of these audacious McMansions that send mind hurtling into the void.”

     

    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The entrance hall to the ‘house’ resembles a Christmas grotto, but not one you’d want to take any child near given it is more Halloween-horror-esque.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Christmas and Christ are definitely an obsession of the current owner – and they plainly want everyone who comes through the door to know it.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The Facebook group ‘Architectural Crimes’ chose 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck to feature on the pages last week. One user described it as “like a psychotically festive mole tripping on really bad acid.” Another added: “Hyacinth Bucket informs us that Sheridan is appalled.”

    Standing on a plot of 2.77-acres in an area which tragically lost a high proportion of its population on 9/11 during the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre, selling agent Robert DeFalco remarks of the 4-bedroom house: “Spectacular, stunning [and] tranquil are a few words to describe this custom-built colonial.” He kindly terms it “distinctive” and lauds the salt water swimming pool’s 20-foot Fred Flintstone-esque “boulder wall waterfall” and “resort like atmosphere” amongst its key selling points.

     

    If you want a true mish-mash of weirdness, you should put in an offer for 1 Rivers Edge Drive. Here is a McMansion that would suit perhaps Gemma Collins or Katie Price. Now girls, get your cheque books out; they’d need the ludicrous sum of £1.65 million though, up from a sale price of just £233,000 in July 1999.

     

    Pictured top: The exterior of the ‘McMansion’ isn’t exactly architecturally stimulating, but it gives little away of the horrors of the contents of the ‘Bet Lynch on crack-like’ pad within.

     

    The Numbers – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America

     

    November 2020 – For sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.

     

    May 2008 – For sale for £1.353 million ($1.799 million, €1.518 million or درهم6.607 million), an increase of 480.3% on the previous sale price.

     

    July 1999 – Sold for £233,000 ($310,000, €262,000 or درهم1.1 million), a most curious reduction of a further 59% within just six months.

     

    January 1999 – Current 5,240 square foot, 4-bedroom, 5-bathroom property sold for £569,300 ($756,900, €638,500 or درهم2.8 million).

     

    1998 – Current property built on a plot of 2.77 acres.

     

    July 1997 – Sold for £2.39 million ($3.18 million, €2.68 million or درهم11.68 million), an increase of 1,490% on the previous sale price.

     

    September 1996 – Sold for £150,000 ($200,000, €169,000 or درهم735,000).

     

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    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    A double height reception room contains artwork that one would imagine was purchased from the tat ridden railings of Hyde Park, London on a damp Sunday long ago.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The junk collection continues in what appears to be some kind of gallery for familial photos.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    There’s hardly any space left for the table in this dining space of the McMansion.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The heron flying on the television screen is about the only appealing thing in this attempt at some form of a ‘dude ranch’ drinking den crossed with a boardroom.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Whatever this room was meant to be – there is a desk – it’s ended up as yet another junk emporium. One could imagine Tamara Ecclestone feeling at home here.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    More crap.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    A model giraffe was plainly meant to give this airport lounge style space a hint of ‘Out of Africa.’
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The dark wood kitchen, surprisingly, has remained largely unscathed, but the faux plants and wreaths merrily help it along.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    One of four busy bedrooms. Perhaps they employed napkin slapping Dawn Ward for these areas of the McMansion.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    A dressing room for a gentleman clearly completely lacking in colour coordinating abilities.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Who’d have thought it? Pink, brown, gold and grey aren’t a great colour comibination.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Double dishing the same with the sinks.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Fred Flintstone plainly came to play on the day this shower room was fitted. The bog and sink colour palette… Well…
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    A shower suitable for a fatty and a jacuzzi tub suitable for a hooker.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Nicely folded towels.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Is the wreath for whomever died in this contraption?
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Even the golf club storage area gets gaudy.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    Exercise with colour.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    The backyard is fully of junk also.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    From this angle, the swimming pool doesn’t look too abnormal.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    But then, you see the grotto…
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    A vast block paved driveway is a requirement for any McMansion owner.
    The World’s Worst McMansion - It’s So Bad, It’s Good – New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good – 1 Rivers Edge Drive, Colts Neck, Monmouth, New Jersey, NJ 07722, United States of America for sale for £1.65 million ($2,199,999, €1.86 million or درهم8.08 million) with Robert DeFalco Realty Inc.
    You simply would never guess the horrors inside 1 Rivers Edge Drive from above.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4rCvU_1xjY
  • Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker!

    Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker!

    All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena”

    Known for his extremely short fuse and once described by David Dimbleby as “cretinous,” Phillip Schofield recently launched a wine range in Waitrose and on Amazon. Unsurprisingly, it’s been a total flop and was quite deservedly condemned at the weekend in The Sun as “overpriced” and “bitter.”

     

    Priced between £19.99 and £24.99 for 2.25-litre boxes, Schofield’s was slammed by one punter as “only fit for the bin” on Waitrose’s website. They added: “The wine [was] effervescing within the bag. No more palatable than fizzy Ribena” whilst another suggested: “I don’t have anything positive to say about the flavour at all. Not pleasant drinking. We failed to finish the box.”

     

    Prior to launching the range in April, Schofield quite pompously bragged to The Drinks Business:

     

    “When I agreed to this partnership, I had certain conditions; I wanted to be part of the tasting team… I wanted it to be good value. The result is something I felt I could really invest in.”

     

    Schofield – whose ‘coming out’ and alleged connections to a young man named Matthew McGreevy attracted much media attention earlier this year – unsurprisingly failed to respond to a request from The Steeple Times for comment; he was probably instead too busy nursing a hangover headache from drinking his equivalent of Sir Cliff Richard’s equally vile plonk.

     

    Pictured top: All-round plonker Phillip Schofield on a night out with his one-time ‘friend’ Matt McGreevy; Phillip Schofield’s bag-in-box wines.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes

     

    Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker! Wine range condemned as “bin fit” – All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena.”
    Sir Cliff Richard’s associations with wines, just like Phillip Schofield’s, have not always proved fruitful. In 2006, appearing on Gordon Ramsay’s ‘The F-Word,’ the crappy crooner had a meltdown during a blind tasting. After sipping one unnamed offering, Sir Cliff announced: “That’s rubbish. I wouldn’t pay for that. It’s tainted, it’s insipid, it tastes like vinaigrette. I’d never buy that.” Ramsay, responded by remarking: “Cliff, that’s your wine”. The singer is said to have answered: “Young man, go f**k yourself.”
    Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker! Wine range condemned as “bin fit” – All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena.”
    What a Plonker – Phillip Schofield was photographed with Matthew McGreevy on a number of occasions during the latter’s youth.
    Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker! Wine range condemned as “bin fit” – All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena.”
    What a Plonker – The television presenter with his “friend” at a later date.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=20&v=cGuoqjTg1O8&feature=emb_logo
  • Hammering Harris

    Hammering Harris

    Two works by paedophile Rolf Harris withdrawn from auction whilst one of a baby remains for sale online

     

    In the wake of his conviction in 2014 for abusing women and girls as young as 8 years old, many of the frankly crap paintings by the repugnant monster Rolf Harris were burnt by those who’d bought them.

     

    On Saturday, however, the Sunderland Echo revealed that an auction house in East Boldon, Tyne & Wear had listed two works by the evil jailbird and were due to sell them today with estimates of just £20 to £40 and £50 to £80.

     

    In response to questions on what made the convicted paedophile Harris’ works worthwhile to auction and who the likely buyer would be from The Steeple Times, Boldon Auctions did not answer. A spokesman for the firm simply remarked: “No, sorry, withdrawn and collected by client” and refused to comment further.

     

    Elsewhere, on the Preloved.co.uk website, an especially inappropriate signed work by Harris is being marketed. Titled ‘Innocence’, the signed print is one of 695 and shows an image of a baby. Why on earth anyone would want such on their wall is beyond comprehension.

     Hammering Harris – Two works by paedophile Rolf Harris withdrawn from an auction in Tyne & Wear whilst one of a baby remains for sale online.

  • Gerald Ratner – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    Gerald Ratner – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    A 20-question interview with well-known businessman Gerald Ratner

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

    Road cycling.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    Don’t give up. Failure is the route to success. You will fail many times before you succeed so embrace failure.

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2016?

    Mark Carney is a mine of misinformation. He said interest rates would go up for the last five years and scared the sh*t out of us on Brexit.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    Running a big company.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    I haven’t got all that much wealth, but, as you get older, you appreciate your health more.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    Business requires endless cash and if you can’t raise it anymore, that has a negative effect on the economy.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    Starting every sentence with ‘So’.

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I support animal charities but I don’t like the aggressive approach to fundraising by certain charities and their endless shock adverts on television.

     

    The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    I hate people screaming down them in public.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    Robin van Persie (my all time hero), David Tang (stylish and witty) and Mark Carney (so I can throw him out the window).

     

    Gerald Ratner – What’s on your mantelpiece?
    Gerald Ratner

     

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    The Waterside Inn at Bray. I would order a magnum of Château Latour.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    During the week: At nighttime.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A double espresso.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    One that ends early.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    My dog, Bear. He thinks he is human.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Cigars.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    I hate tattoos.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    I was a Ferrari. Now, I’m a Volvo.

     

    Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I never called my jewellery ‘crap’ in that infamous speech. I described it as high quality but unfortunately I called a sherry decanter ‘crap’.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    A picture of my dog.

     

    Gerald Ratner is the former chairman and chief executive of the Ratners Group. He is now a keynote speaker.

     

    Follow him on Twitter at @Gerald_Ratner.

     

    Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:[wysija_form id=”2″]

     

  • Vodka wars

    Vodka wars

    Chase Vodka founder slates rival brands Sipsmith and Black Cow and refers to them as “crap” products (more…)

  • Review: Farage Fans & UKIP Lovers

    Review: Farage Fans & UKIP Lovers

    Matthew Steeples reviews a Channel 5 documentary about UKIP supporters (more…)

  • The best view in London or an expensive way to live in London’s ‘naffest’ square?

    The best view in London or an expensive way to live in London’s ‘naffest’ square?

    The sale of a £16.95 million duplex penthouse in Trafalgar Square

     

    Trafalgar Square is a place that most Londoners avoid. It’s a place for pigeons, protestors and tourists and though millions travel through it daily, most don’t tend to stop. In an article for The Guardian titled “Why I hate London’s Trafalgar Square”, the author Will Self went as far as to label it “one of the most crap urban public spaces in the world”.

      (more…)

  • Sophie Rossdale: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Sophie Rossdale: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks designer Sophie Rossdale: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

    An inkpot and a computer.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    “If in doubt, add more wine”.

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2013?

    The TOWIEs and Made in Chelsea crew. They’re so scripted and utterly crap.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    My dog, Mojo.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    A time machine so I can go back and find out which horse I should have backed for this year’s Grand National. I’d then put all my wealth on it.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    It’s terrible. I don’t think anyone could comment in any other way.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    “Moist”.

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I like to support smaller charities as I’d like to know where my money is going. I support a charity for children in India because of my business involvement there. I also support a charity for women in Iran.

     

    The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    I can achieve a lot on my phone without moving. I deal with people in India to manufacture and supply my fabrics and being able to communicate with them so easily is just great.

     

    Designer Sophie Rossdale
    Designer Sophie Rossdale

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    Maggie Smith, Danny DeVito, Peter O’Toole, Paul Newman (when he was younger). It’s such a weird mix but I’d rather have these than the obvious.

     

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    I would have dressed crab to start and as a main I’d opt for a steak and green salad. I’d have a raspberry cheesecake to finish. I’d eat it on a terrace in the sun with a glass of rosé.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    I think 12 o’clock but some people say just after 11.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A cup of tea. I don’t like the other two.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    My own, as I know where everything is.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    My father.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Smoking.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    A tattoo of bubbles as “Bubbles” is my nickname.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    Something old and rusty.

     

    Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I’m colour-blind but my fabric designs are much loved because people consider them unusual.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    An empty wine glass, pictures of my sisters and a smelly candle.

     

    Sophie Rossdale is a designer and importer of fabrics from India. Her tablecloths, cushions, bedspreads and napkins are a combination of Indian and European styles and she sells them through her firm, Adair UK.

     

    View Sophie Rossdale’s official website at: http://www.adairuk.com

     

    Follow her on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/AdairHomeware