Tardis-like Grade II listed lodge house currently for sale could be Britain’s smallest detached house; it measures 10-foot by 8-foot and today also we feature some other examples of the nation’s smallest character packed homes
Whilst the Mirror wrote of what they called “Britain’s smallest detached house” in April – measuring 12-foot by 26-foot and priced at £140,000 – we can go one better and today feature a Grade II listed detached house in North Yorkshire measuring just 10-foot by 8-foot.
More practical than the £810,000 2.5-foot by 65-foot Knightsbridge “corridor” mews houseThe Steeple Times included in March 2017, 481 square foot Sunset Lodge forms one of a pair of symmetrical lodges standing either side of decorative wrought iron gates to Grimston Park, near Tadcaster – a Grade II* listed Georgian mansion of the Italianate style that has now been converted into thirteen individual residences.
Sunset Lodge forms one of a pair of symmetrical gate lodges at the entrance to Grimston Park in North Yorkshire.Grimston Park has been occupied as a grand country residence, was used by the RAF in the Second World War and subsequently became an events venue. It was converted into 13 residences more recently.
Tardis-like internally in that it actually extends over 2 floors with a mezzanine sleeping platform also, the majority of the living space is actually underground. Featuring a kitchen with an “orangery style roof” with a sunken patio beyond, there is also a living area, a “barrel ceilinged” shower room and a dressing room also.
Parking is provided outside for two vehicles and lawned gardens extend beyond. The estate beyond includes a stud-livery, parkland and buildings occupied on both a residential and a commercial basis.
Agents Carter Jonas initially marketed the property at £299,950 in March 2020, but have since reduced that sum to £250,000. The present owners, Tom and Rebecca Hallisey, paid just £85,000 for the building 15 years ago and thus stand to return an increase of +194% if they sell at asking price.
Speaking of the property to the Yorkshire Post in March 2020, Rebecca Hallisey remarked: “It was in a poor state of repair but [when we first saw it, but] we fell in love with it and we could see it had potential.”
She continued: “We moved a lot before we came here but we have stayed because we love the building and it is such a beautiful, peaceful place to live. We wish we could stay forever and we are only moving for health reasons as we need a single-storey home.”
The Numbers – Sunset Lodge, Grimston Park, Grimston, Tadcaster, North Yorkshire, LS24 9DB, United Kingdom
May 2021 – Reduced in price to £250,000 ($355,000, €291,000 or درهم1.3 million) or £520 per square foot ($738, €605 or درهم2,700 per square foot) with Carter Jonas.
March 2020 – Placed for sale for £299,950 ($425,700, €349,100 or درهم1.6 million) with Carter Jonas.
June 2006 – Sold for £85,000 ($121,000, €99,000 or درهم443,000).
Some Other Examples of Britain’s Smallest Homes
Starborough Castle, Dormsland, Lingfield, Surrey
Featured in The Steeple Times in April 2017, this Grade II* listed scheduled ancient monument stands in 10 acres and has a 44 million gallon moat. It features a mini great hall and was offered for sale for £1.75 million.
20 Britten Street, London, SW3
Also featured in The Steeple Times when for sale in 2017 for £600,000, this 290 square foot detached house measured 8.5-foot by 14-foot. Estate agents estimated it could be worth £1 million when renovated, but as of May 2021, it remains in unloved condition.
The Round House, Stanton Drew, Somerset
In December 2016, we wrote about this Grade II listed former toll house that extends to just 146 square foot. The 18th century, detached, thatched property was priced at just £110,000 at the time.
24a The Boltons, London, SW10
At the other end of the price scale, but still the cheapest, smallest house on one of London’s smartest streets, The Boltons in London, this £6.5 million terraced residence was home to novelist Jeffrey Archer from 1972 to 1976. Surprisingly due to it widening as it goes back, it actually provides 3,123 square foot of accommodation over 4 floors – so is not as quite as small as it initially seems.
Former church hall on the Isle of Lewis to be sold for just £34,000 in spite of the fact that it could earn the buyer £300 per night
Lionel (Gaelic: ‘Lìonal’) forms part of the Barvas (‘Barabhas’) civil parish on the Isle of Lewis, the largest island of the Outer Hebrides archipelago in Scotland. Like the castle we featured last month, it is extremely isolated but unlike that white elephant, it is situated on an island that has a population of some 20,000 and where the main industries are crofting, fishing, peat cutting and weaving.
Accessed by a daily ferry from Ullapool on the Scottish mainland that takes 2 hours and 30 minutes and served by an airport also, Lewis remains an extremely religious island and though the Sabbath is still observed mostly, the sale of a church hall is indicative that change is perhaps on the way.
Offered by Future Property Auctions this week, the non-listed former church hall at Lionel is described as a “super investment opportunity” with “development potential” as an Airbnb that could rent for “upto £300 per night ($417, €347 or درهم1,500 per night) at peak times.”
Extending to 820 square foot in total currently with a large, double height single room and entrance vestibule, the detached building has been listed with a remarkably low guide price of just £34,000 ($47,300, €39,400 or درهم173,600) and is described as potentially also being capable for use as a permanent home, creche, museum or public library with “super income earning potential.”
Bidding online for the church hall opens at 10am on the 7th May 2021 and closes at 4pm on the same day on the Future Property Auctions website.
The interior of the building is watertight but in need of renovation. Sadly, character features including pews have been removed, but there is clearly potential to create a two-storey single dwelling house with earning options as a holiday home within the space.Viewed from the rear and side, the plot on which the former Lionel Mission Hall is clearly not large, but it is surrounded by farmland.For someone seeking peace and quiet, the location would be ideal. Equally, given tourism is a source of local income, the earning potential of the building once renovated as a holiday let is clear.A view of the former church hall from the road.A site plan shows the limited land that surrounds the building.Clearly, as shown by this map, the property is certainly remote.
Vast Scots Baronial mansion Carbisdale Castle – nicknamed ‘The Castle of Spite’ – goes on sale for sum 97% lower than it cost to build in the 1900s and 25% less than the sum spent on its 2010 renovation
A mega-mansion termed “the last grand castle built in Scotland” that cost £62 million to build between 1905 and 1917 has gone on sale for just £1.5 million in spite of developers having spent a small fortune on its renovation to date.
Extending to 41,433 square foot, category B-listed Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland is gargantuan in size compared to an average 818 square foot British home. Its construction began after the resolution of the then Dowager Duchess of Sutherland, Mary Caroline’s dispute with her late husband’s children from his first marriage, but ultimately the palatial pad was not completed until five years after her own demise.
Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Mary Caroline, Dowager Duchess of Sutherland (1848 – 1912) and George Sutherland-Leveson-Gower, His Grace The 3rd Duke of Sutherland (1828 – 1892). According to one source, the “deviant duchess” enjoyed an astonishing income of £100,000 per year until her death and married her third husband, a politician and businessman, Sir Albert Rollit (1842 – 1922) in 1896.Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – The castle was used as a youth hostel for 66 years from 1945 until 2011.Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle – Its vast size made it ideal for institutional usage.
Featured on these pages in August 2014 and April 2016 after it was placed for sale after being used for 70 years as a youth hostel, the allegedly haunted building was sold to a London based investment firm now known as Faro Capital after being reduced in price from £1.2 million to £900,000. At this stage, £2 million had already been spent on renovations due to extensive water damage in 2010.
In the years since, Faro Capital have cleared Carbisdale Castle of its institutional contents and put in place plans to return the structure to use as what they term a “world class single family residence.” Now, of its current condition, a surveyor recently remarked: “The building offers a superb blank canvas,” according to current selling agents Strutt & Parker.
Speaking to The Scotsman late last week, Robert McCulloch for Strutt & Parker remarked of the sale of Carbisdale Castle:
“Already there has been interest. The property is in a state of partial renovation so it lends itself to being either a private residence or a commercial venture.”
“There has been interest in it as a hotel and also those who are interested in its charitable use. With its proximity to the North Coast 500 driving route and the rise in domestic tourism, I am sure people will see a lot of opportunity in this property.”
Carbisdale Castle, however, is still not without problems. Aside from its vast size and the associated costs of maintaining such a white elephant, it comes with a mere 20 acres of land and that is split into various spread-apart parcels. Thus, for a likely oligarch or business titan buyer – who will have to be someone with very, very deep pockets – privacy and security will remain an obvious issue.
The Names & Numbers – Carbisdale Castle, Culrain, Ardgay, Sutherland, IV24 3DP, Scotland, United Kingdom
May 2021 – Placed for sale with Strutt & Parker for £1.5 million ($2.1 million, €1.7 million or درهم7.6 million) or the equivalent of just £36.20 per square foot.
2017 onwards – Of progress since purchase by Faro Capital, Strutt & Parker remarked in 2021: “The current position is that, since 2017, significant works have been carried out to the castle pursuant with the approved consent but the works required to complete the project have been put on hold.”
“This provides the flexibility to purchasers to either complete the development of the castle as a private home, or seek to vary the Listed Building Consent to include the development of the building for commercial use or the subdivision of the building as residential apartments.”
“The intention of the project was to combine all of the decorative features and grandeur of the Dowager Duchess of Sutherland’s original creation with services, systems, fixtures, fittings and layout of the highest contemporary quality together with reorganisation of the existing accommodation to suit 21st Century living and the development of a spa and swimming pool as complementary features.”
Works to Carbisdale Castle have included the stripping down of the building, the removal of redundant items, the excavation of a proposed swimming pool and the replacement of heating systems and lighting circuits.
September 2016 – Sold to Sloane Street, London based Faro Capital Limited (formerly known as the FCFM Group), who planned to turn the building into a “world class residence.”
April 2016 – Reduced in price to just £900,000 ($1.2 million, €1 million or درهم4.6 million) or the equivalent of just £21.70 per square foot.
August 2014 – Offered for sale by Savills for £1.2 million ($1.7 million, €1.4 million or درهم6.1 million).
2010 onwards – After extensive water damage caused by frost, £2 million ($2.8 million, €2.3 million or درهم10.1 million) is spent on renovations.
1945 – 2011 – Used as a youth hostel.
1944 – Gifted to the Scottish Youth Hostel Association (SYHA) by Colonel Salvesen’s son, Captain Harold Salvesen.
22nd June 1941 – Used as the location to host the Carbisdale Conference at which it was “agreed that that the Russian forces, should they enter Norwegian territory, would not stay there after the war.”
1933 – Sold to Norwegian shipping and whaling tycoon Colonel Theodore Salvesen and used during the Second World War as a “safe refuge” for King Haakon VII of Norway and Crown Prince Olav, later King Olav V, during the Nazi occupation of Norway.
The Dowager Duchess (better known as ‘Duchess Blair’) had been jailed for 6 weeks after being found guilty of stealing documents during her divorce and when that was eventually finalised, it was agreed that a castle would be built for her just outside the Sutherland lands.
She intentionally chose – supposedly to spite them – a prominent hillside site visible from the very railway line the Sutherlands used to travel south and insisted that the clock tower of the house only had three clock faces. On the side facing Sutherland, the face is blank as “the Duchess did not wish to give the time of day to her former relatives.” As a result, Carbisdale Castle gained the nickname ‘The Castle of Spite.’
Grade A listed freehold Scottish castle with cottages, barony title, gold and copper reserves and 240 acres of land goes to auction for just £130,000 just as plans for a space centre are announced in the vicinity
Our November 2018 article on an Irish castle on a private island that was for sale for just £80,000 ($111,000, €93,000 or درهم409,000) continues to attract numerous hits each week to this day and now we’ve found something equally ‘cheap’ in Scotland that we imagine will prove equally popular.
Situated on Unst, the northernmost of the inhabited isles of Great Britain, 15th century Muness Castle is to be sold at auction on 23rd April with a guide price of just £130,000 ($181,000, €151,000 or درهم665,000). It comes with 240 acres and thus comes in at an astonishingly low price equivalent of just £542 per acre ($755, €629 or درهم2,800 per acre).
Given farmland in Oxfordshire is currently valued at around £10,300 per acre ($14,400, €12,000 or درهم52,700 per acre), this apparent bargain does, however, come with a number of catches. The “number of crofter’s cottages” that come as part of the property are “mainly in derelict condition,” according to auctioneers Future Property Auctions of Glasgow, and the most definitely presently anything but inhabitable 73-foot by 26-foot, Grade A listed castle itself is currently “run as museum by Historic Scotland” on a “free of charge basis.”
Currently owned by one Gavin Farquhar of the Ecclesgreig Estate in Kincardineshire, the property offered was listed as having a “consideration” value of £65,000 ($91,000, €75,000 or درهم333,000) in August 2006 and aside from a number of “burdens” to various parties, includes part-diviso rights to “gold and copper reserves discovered in a recently commissioned geological survey.”
For a buyer wanting a barony title, seclusion and to own land on a “superb section of coastline” rich in flora, fauna and sea life where dolphins, otters, puffins, seals and whales are spotted regularly, here is a bargain piece of paradise. Unst covers an area of 46 square miles, has a population of 632 and is accessible primarily by ferry since its airport was mothballed in 1996.
The island of Unst is bizarrely internationally famous for a bus shelter known as ‘Bobby’s Bus Shelter.’ The stop and shelter was saved by a then 7-year-old boy named Bobby Macaulay in 1996 after he wrote to the local council asking them not to remove it because it was where he kept his bike whilst at school. The council relented and furnished it with a sofa and television and periodically give it themed additions which have included tributes to Nelson Mandela, sheep, puffins and women’s suffrage in the United Kingdom.Another attraction on the island was the Valhalla Brewery, the northernmost brewery in the United Kingdom. Named after the Norse god Odin, Valhalla produced dark ales from malt, hops and bere barley, but after the owners fell ill, it ultimately closed permanently. In March this year, plans to reuse the brewery site for the construction of the Shetland Space Centre were announced and should they go ahead around 140 new jobs would be created on Unst as a result.An aerial view of the castle shows how thick its walls are and thus provides evidence as to why it has lasted over 423 years in spite of the harsh climate of its situation.The structure retains many original architectural details.Though the building is currently simply a tourist attraction, perhaps – subject to any planning processes – it could be returned to residential usage. The cost and dealing with bureaucrats might, however, be prohibitive and request by ‘The Steeple Times’ to selling auctioneers Future Property Auctioneers about such had not been answered at time of publication.The setting of the castle with views to the North Sea beyond and a cottage adjoining.The original floor plan of the building (before French pirate enemies of the then owner burnt the place down in 1627). As a result, now, the castle now has only two of its original three stories remaining. The building was used from 1713 by the Dutch East India Company as a storage space for goods the Company managed to salvage from the wreck of one of their vessels, but was then recorded as roofless and abandoned in 1775.This map shows the true isolation of the location.The coastline of Unst is truly epically spectacular.
This 2018 video shows Muness Castle with scaffolding around it – indication that good care has been taken of what remains of the structure.
Welsh ‘mock castle’ once occupied by notorious spendaholic Lady Docker for sale for £2.85m; the Dockers were turfed out in 1956 after it was discovered they’d lavished the equivalent of £1.3m today of company money on the place without permission
Alleged inspiration for ‘The Pink Panther’ film, Norah Docker (AKA ‘Naughty Norah’ and ‘Lady Muck’) described herself as “an artificial blonde, among thousands of artificial blondes searching for stardom.”
Of her second husband, Sir William Collins, chairman of Fortnum & Mason, she announced: “He was 69, I married him for his money.”
Lady Docker used her third husband Sir Bernard Docker’s company money to create Daimler cars upholstered in zebra hide – “because mink is too hot to sit on.”
The couple also plundered the company to buy Glandyfi Castle in Wales and spent an equivalent of £1.3 million of today’s money on it.
The Grade II listed, early 19th century ‘mock castle’ became a small hotel and is currently for sale for £2.85 million.
The best known ‘occupants’ of Glandyfi Castle, an early 19th century ‘mock castle’ eleven miles from Aberystwyth in Mid Wales, were Birmingham Small Arms Company (BSA) managing director and Daimler chairman Sir Bernard Docker and his notoriously decadent wife, ‘Naughty Norah.’
The Dockers, a “spendaholic” pair said to be the inspiration for the 1963 film The Pink Panther, lavished the equivalent of £1.3 million of today’s money buying and altering the castle in 1949 – the very same year they were robbed of £1.9 million of diamonds in today’s money at their Mayfair home also.
Sir Bernard and Lady Docker lived at Glandyfi until 1956 when it was discovered that they’d plundered the company through the presentation of vast expenses. Aside from the castle, Lady Docker had lavishly created five show ‘Docker Daimler’ show cars covered in gold and upholstered with amongst other things zebra hide. When asked why she had done such, she coyly responded: “Because mink is too hot to sit on,” but subsequently after these and the castle had to be returned, the couple bought a Bentley Continental as revenge.
Now, today, Grade II listed Glandyfi (pronounced ‘Glandovey’) is for sale for what seems like a comparatively reasonable sum of £2.85 million, but it now comes minus the “glitzy” additions made by the Dockers. The Regency Gothic style stone and slate main building extends to 8,280 square feet over four floors and provides 5 reception rooms, 10 double bedrooms and 10 bathrooms and in addition comes with a courtyard with guest accommodation, a 1 bedroom lodge and a range of disused barns.
Externally, aside from a mature landscaped garden, the 31.43 acre plot includes a walled former kitchen garden, grazing land and woodland, but what is most impressive is the setting of what James Delingpole termed “not so much an austere, toff’s castle as a theme-park recreation of one” with “undoubtedly the most magnificent view from any house I know in Britain.”
Speaking to Anne Ashworth of The Times last time the allegedly haunted castle was placed for sale in July 2019, current selling agent Belinda Hutchinson-Smith of Strutt & Parker – whom also was involved in marketing the property to the current owners, the Holmes family, back in 2007 when she worked at Savills – stated:
“It was surreal [in 2007]. We were in a time warp. Almost nothing had changed since the Dockers moved out in the 1950s. There were 1950s newspapers strewn across the dining tables and in the bedrooms, books were left open on bedside tables. But, at the same time, the house had a magical feeling.”
In comments to the BBC in September 2014, when the former Docker one-of-one 1954 Daimler ‘Stardust’ was sold at auction for £110,000, Glandyfi’s current owner Maureen Holmes remarked:
“[Sir Bernard and Lady Docker] were clearly living the dream. From the red and white marble fireplaces to a path through the woods made entirely of upturned gin bottles, the castle oozed excess.”
“The older people around here who remember them say they were unbelievable, almost mythical figures. At a time when everyone else was still on rationing, the Dockers were thundering through the lanes in limousines made out of gold and silver.”
“The irony is, that whilst the locals felt the Dockers’ perceived wealth meant that they were utterly removed from the community, in actual fact they probably had no more money than anyone else in the area.”
Lady Docker pictured in one of the opulent ‘Docker Daimler’ show cars she commissioned her husband’s company to create; the most famous of the examples was known as the ‘Golden Zebra’ – this 1955 Daimler two-door coupé based on the DK400 chassis featured metal trim pieces plated in gold instead of chrome, an ivory dashboard and zebra-skin upholstery.Thrice married Lady Docker (1906 – 1983), born Norah Turner and also variously Norah Callingham and Lady Collins, was born in Derby and began her career as a hostess at the Café de Paris in London. In Lancashire, her name is still used as a derogatory substitute for ‘Lady Muck’ and in spite of her once extravagant lifestyle, she died in poverty at the not so chi-chi Great Western Royal Hotel in Praed Street, Paddington, London. In one of her last interviews, Lady Docker remarked: “I have always had the persistence to march on. I will continue to do that, until the day I die.” In spite of her reduced circumstances, she is said to have “retained a remarkable joie-de-vivre, downing glasses of pink champagne to the last.”English poet Thomas Love Peacock got married at Glandyfi Castle in 1820; Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan stayed at the property whilst filming ‘Springwatch’ in 2012.
The Names & Numbers – Glandyfi Castle, Glandyfi, near Machynlleth, Ceredigion, Powys, Mid Wales, SY20 8SS, United Kingdom
October 2020 – Relaunched for sale for £2.85 million ($3.69 million, €3.15 million or درهم15.54 million) through Strutt & Parker.
June 2019 – Listed for sale for £2.85 million ($3.69 million, €3.15 million or درهم15.54 million) through Strutt & Parker with 31.43 acres of land.
2012 – Whilst filming the BBC’s Springwatch, presenters Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan stayed at the castle. Strachan wrote in the guest book: “I couldn’t imagine a nicer, more comfortable place to stay… I felt like a princess in my amazing room.” Packham added: “Staying at the castle has been a total treat. Hospitality, fine food, wonderful environment, views to die for and history.”
May 2007 – Offered for sale for £1.25 million ($1.62 million, €1.38 million or درهم5.94 million) through Savills with 43 acres of land on behalf of the late owner, one Mrs Betty Piper (1914 – 2006).
January 1964 – The building is given a Grade II listing, reference 9874, and is described as “the only example [of a] Georgian country house in picturesque castellated style in the county.”
1956 – Following discovery of the Dockers’ “profligacy” and their removal from BSA, the castle is sold.
1949 – Purchased by Birmingham Small Arms Company Limited for the use of Sir Bernard and Lady Docker for the sum of £12,000 or the equivalent of £427,000 ($552,000, €471,000 or درهم2 million) today. The company then lavished £25,000 or the equivalent of £890,000 ($1.2 million, €983,000 or درهم4.2 million) today on “opulent renovations of the home.”
1906 – Following the death of Charles Jeffreys, the castle and its lands pass out of the hands of that family after 114 years.
1820 – English poet Thomas Love Peacock (1785 – 1866) married Jane Griffith (also known as Jane Gryffydh) at the castle. His fellow poet and friend Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792 – 1822) referenced Peacock’s wife “the milk-white Snowdonian Antelope.”
Early 19th century – Built to the designs of an unknown architect for George Jeffreys, High Sheriff of Cardiganshire in 1819 on an estate acquired by his great uncle, Edward, in 1792.
Some of Lady Docker’s Notable Remarks
Of herself, as she moved to London to seek fame and fortune:
“An artificial blonde, among thousands of artificial blondes searching for stardom.”
Of her vision in life:
“[To] bring some happiness back to a world left hollow by the horror of two world wars… We bring glamour and happiness into drab lives. The working class loves everything I do.”
Of her father:
“A self-made man.”
Of her male “targets” and those she viewed to be husband material:
“Through my life, I set both my sights and my price high.”
Of her chairman of Fortnum & Mason second husband, Sir William Collins:
“He was 69, I married him for his money.”
Of her third husband, Sir Bernard Docker:
“I deliberately trapped him.”
When asked to justify why she covered the seats of a 1955 Daimler in zebra skin:
“Zebra, because mink is too hot to sit on.”
On the loss of the ‘Docker Daimlers’ when they were taken away from her and her husband:
“It’s not the loss of the gold cars that makes me feel like this… And weren’t they fun? They were like my children… No, it’s that lovely party I was planning for 25,000 of the company’s workers for my 50th birthday. A tiptop affair – and now it’s all off. How could they do this to [Sir Bernard] after 17 years? Why, he’s such a hard worker that he even had a direct line to the firm from our yacht.”
Of Prince Rainier of Monaco after her son was banned from his son’s christening and she decided to burn the Monacan flag:
“I’m at war with Rainier.”
To the captain of the liner the Queen Elizabeth:
“This ship is being run by a bloody Communist! Don’t you dare touch me, you bloody Communist!”
Of some miners she invited on her yacht:
“The dear boys, I just loved them! It proved conclusively to me that the social barrier only exists in the mind.”
Of a Monaco casino employee she had allegedly assaulted:
“It was a good sock I gave that man, and he deserved it.”
Of the people of Jersey:
“They are the most frightfully boring, dreadful people that have ever been born.”
PICTURED TOP: Glandyfi Castle and the estuary beyond; Sir Bernard and Lady Docker at the castle.
‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names
Destined most certainly not to feature in Penny Churchill’s Downton Abbey-esque country house porn Country Life column or as an Evening Standard chi-chi ‘Homes & Property’ ‘House of the Week,’ we have selected five undesirable homes currently for sale.
In spite of the fact that one has a link to a recently deceased paedophile, two have been the scene of murders, one is supposedly haunted and the final was the setting for a bizarre nine year sleep, their prices seem somewhat crazy – but maybe some people will just love the idea of living with notoriety. Whether any of these undesirable homes sell for their asking prices, however, seems as likely as the case of Jack the Ripper ever being solved.
Paedo Palace – 9 East 71st Street, Lenox Hill, New York, NY 10021, USA
For sale for £69 million ($88 million, €74 million or درهم121 million) through Modlin Group.
Known as the ‘Herbert Straus House’ in polite circles, but now forever more likely to be remembered as ‘Jeffrey Epstein’s Paedo Mansion,’ this 28,000 square foot, 7-floor, 40 room mansion was home to the deceased bestie of Prince Andrew from 1996 until his incarceration and suicide in 2019.
Few details are shared on the listing other than to declare it of “gargantuan size and opulence” and “the largest single-family home in New York City.” Though the late Alberto Pinto’s design work at the property is lauded, there’s no mention of what Ghislaine Maxwell got up to there or the bizarre birthday parties with Christopher Mason.
Originally called ‘Oakleigh,’ this “striking Gothic Victorian villa” subsequently became known as ‘The House of Horror’ but has now been renamed ‘Devisdale House’ in an attempt to relieve it of a position in the ranks of undesirable homes.
In March 2005, Christopher Lumsden, a partner in the international law firm Pinsent Masons, killed his former Sotheby’s auctioneer wife Alison in the house in a “frenzied domestic attack in the master bedroom” according to The Sun. He stabbed her 30 times after she announced she was leaving him for another man and was amazingly jailed for just five years “after he was found guilty of manslaughter on the ground of diminished responsibility, claiming he had a depressive illness.”
‘Oakleigh’ subsequently “fell into rack and ruin” in spite of reports suggesting Lumsden may have inherited his wife’s fortune, but more recently it was purchased by a property developer. They have added an especially ghastly underground swimming pool, sauna, cinema room and triple garage and now pompous selling agents Jackson-Stops pretentiously laud the property as “incredible,” “striking” and “meticulously remodelled.” Christopher Lumsden, meanwhile, was released from prison after serving just two years of his jail sentence.
A Killer Castle – Pencoed Castle, Pencoed Lane, Llanmartin, Newport, Gwent, Wales, NP18 2ED, UK
For sale with a guide price of £950,000 ($1.2 million, €1 million or درهم1.7 million) by auction on 17th September 2020 through Allsop.
Pencoed Castle dates to the 13th century and in the time since one can imagine all sorts has gone on there. Most recently, in 2016, a then 56-year-old businessman Peter Morgan strangled his girlfriend of three years, a 25-year-old personal escort named Georgina Symonds, in a bungalow in the castle grounds. The married multi-millionaire was sentenced to life with a minimum term of 25 years in prison and with that the estate found itself joining the ranks of undesirable homes.
Wales Online report that “it is not known if Mr Morgan still owns the property,” but for less than a million pounds, a buyer could get themselves not only the castle (which could be turned into 12 dwellings and offices also), but also a former farmhouse, two bungalows and 64.8 acres of land. Previous plans to turn the site into a Disneyland-style theme park called Legend Court came to nothing and of the property a local cryptically remarked: “This place’s recent history is very dark.”
Axing a Ghost – Maplecroft, 306 French Street, Fall River, Massachusetts, MA 02720, USA
For sale for £696,000 ($890,000, €751,000 or درهم1.2 million) through Century 21 The Seyboth Team.
Sold last for £469,000 in February 2018 and £386,000 in November 2014, Maplecroft is described by realtor Suzanne St. John as “a Queen Anne Victorian Mansion,” but many would consider it fitting instead of a listing on a roster of undesirable homes. It was built in 1887, extends to 3,935 square foot and includes 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms.
The allegedly haunted residence, which stands on a plot of 0.31 acres, is notable as the post-prison home of one Lizzie Borden (1860 – 1927) – a woman who was the main suspect in the 1892 axe murders of her father and step-mother. Accused, tried and acquitted, Miss Borden inherited a fortune, bought Maplecroft and when she died of pneumonia her wake was held in the parlour.
The current owner also owns the house where the murders were committed and runs it as a ‘murder house B&B.’ He had intended to convert Maplecroft into something similar, but COVID-19 (and perhaps the spirit of Lizzie Borden) got in the way.
A Nine Year Sleep – Sleepy Cottage, 1 School Lane, Turville, Henley-On-Thames, Buckinghamshire, RG9 6QX, UK
For sale for £750,000 ($960,000, €810,000 or درهم1.3 million) through Savills.
Strictly speaking, our final choice in our roster of undesirable homes, has had only a gruesome past in a fictional sense given that it sits in a village used in Midsomer Murders. Nobody in their right minds – if such a place did really exist – would want to reside in any of Midsomer’s locations given the risk of ending up brown bread would be so high, but the innocent sounding name of this cottage makes it worthy of mention.
Used also in the perfectly harmless series Goodnight Uncle Tom and the BBC sitcom The Vicar of Dibley, 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom Sleepy Cottage is also noteworthy as it was most famously home to ‘The Sleeping Girl of Turville.’
Of this enigma, selling agents Savills remark:
“Ellen Sadler, who lived in the cottage with her family when in 1871, aged eleven she purportedly fell into a deep sleep from which she could not be roused for nine years. The case attracted international attention from newspapers, medical professionals and the public. She became a tourist attraction for the village, and her family made considerable money from visitors’ donations.”
“Rumours exist that among the elder Turville residents that Royalty even took an interest in her. The Prince of Wales, the future King Edward VII, visited her and laid his hands on her which people in those days believed would cure the sick.”
“As the years went on and with no sign of Ellen waking, speculation grew that her illness was caused by her mother, an issue that was never resolved. In late 1880, soon after her mother’s death, Ellen awoke. She later married and had at least five children.”
Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale – Pictured top: Jeffrey Epstein’s initials were prominently displayed at the entrance to 9 East 71st Street whilst the entrance hallway beyond aimed to impress with its classical grandeur. Goodness knows how many unfortunates passed through this space on their way on their way to be abused by the late Mr Epstein and his mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell.
Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including a country house apartment in a castle currently owned by Jasper Conran and the childhood homes of Al Capone and Jackie Kennedy
Soppy Savills Fail to Salivate
https://vimeo.com/227878828
Jasper Conran OBE paid just £2.75 million ($3.43 million, €3.04 million or درهم12.61 million) for New Wardour Castle in Tisbury, Wiltshire in August 2010. The catch? He didn’t get the whole James Paine and Giacomo Quarenghi designed Palladian mansion, but as the Daily Mail’sAlexis Parr reported at that time he “captured” 23,185 square foot of a repossessed building divided into a total of ten flats. ‘Apartment 1,’ as the space the designer son of Sir Terence Conran currently owns is known as, includes 8 reception rooms, 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms.
Agents Savills could have enthused gushingly about the Grade I listed building and its spectacular 60-foot central rotunda, but instead they are simply seeking £3.95 million ($4.93 million, €4.36 million or درهم18.12 million) for what they underwhelmingly market as the “largest [apartment] in Wiltshire.” Conran would have done better to have appointed someone more akin to the late Roy Brooks we’d say – at least he’d have showed some flowery enthusiasm for this capacious crib.
From Electric to Insta
‘The James Seymour Mansion,’ the £37,000 ($50,000, €45,000 or درهم184,000) Gothic revival mansion in New York State The Steeple Times featured in December 2019, has finally got itself new owners after 204 submissions from across the world to buy it.
Creatively marketed by Michael DeRosa on behalf of the local authority after a property tax foreclosure, the 10-bedroom house on a 0.9-acre plot is situated in Auburn, Cayuga County – a place best known for being the gruesome location of the world’s first legal execution using an electric chair in August 1890.
Whilst the process of the death of “vegetable peddler and known alcoholic” William Kemmler (whom murdered his common-law wife in March 1888) was regarded as a “historic bungle,” all worked out well James and Katie Joynt and their seven children. The family – whom currently manage an Amish co-op in Pennsylvania – will spend around £123,000 ($155,000, €136,000 or درهم565,000) restoring the house according to New York Upstate and are going to take the crumbling house into the 21st century whilst documenting their journey on Instagram.
Going Gangsta
Of a New York “multi-family townhouse” at 21 Garfield Place, North Slope in June 2017, the New York Post quipped: “A Brooklyn homeowner hopes a mob of buyers will take a shot at this town house.” That property was sold for £1.94 million ($2.42 million, €2.14 million or درهم8.89 million) in early 2018 to an Emmy award winning television producer named Steven Kalifowitz and is now again for sale, this time for £2.3 million ($2.9 million, €2.6 million or درهم10.7 million).
Agents Douglas Elliman neglect to mention that the 2,980 square foot building – which is “currently configured as an owner’s duplex with two spacious one bedroom apartments above” – was a childhood home of the gangster Al Capone (1899 – 1947) in the early 1900s. 21 Garfield Place previously sold for a “little more than £800,000 ($1 million, €885,000 or درهم3.7 million)” according to The New York Times in July 2006 and now looks anything but like a bootlegger’s workplace; there’s even a child’s playroom in the basement.
Anything But A Discount Holiday
Those looking to escape to the Hamptons post-lockdown could do worse than purchase the childhood summer home of the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (1929 – 1994) – if they’ve got £6 million ($7.5 million, €6.6 million or درهم27.5 million) going spare.
Built in 1895, Wildmoor at East Hampton extends to 4,291 square foot and has 6 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. It’s on the market through Paula S. Bulter of Sotheby’s International Realty and also noteworthy is that an art studio on the property was used for many years by the Abstract Expressionist artist Adolph Gottlieb (1903 – 1974).
Gottlieb purchased the shingled house on a 0.92-acre plot in 1960, but interested buyers should note that the current décor scheme is definitely a bit passé. As Kennedy herself once said: “It looks like it’s been furnished by discount stores.”
Ruined Moroccan fortress fit for the most lavish of bashes for sale for £5.3 million; it may be “spectacular” but it most certainly doesn’t have Wi-Fi
Billionaires like Morocco. The late Malcolm Forbes (1919 – 1990) lavished the equivalent of £4.1 million today ($5.1 million, €4.7 million or درهم18.7 million today) holding his 70th birthday at his property, Palais Mendoub, there in 1989. Guests – many of whom arrived by Concorde even – numbered Gianni Agnelli, Mario Buatta, Betsy Bloomingdale, King Constantine of Greece, Walter Cronkite, Diane von Furstenberg, Sir James Goldsmith, Calvin Klein, Dr Henry Kissinger, John and Patricia Kluge, Robert and Dr Betty Maxwell, Lucky Roosevelt, Elizabeth Taylor and Barbara Walters and boy did the food and drink flow. Of the fat bash, the New York Social Diary gushed: “It was a party festooning in ballyhoo, in glitter and glamour and illusion, comparable to Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball twenty-three years before in New York.”
Gone are the days of lavish bashes on the scale given by Malcolm Forbes (and gone are all those pictured) – Malcolm Forbes with his ‘date’ Elizabeth Taylor and the since exposed for what he truly was ‘media monster’ (and father of the equally repugnant paedophile procurer Ghislaine Maxwell), ‘Bouncing Bob’ Robert Maxwell and his long-suffering wife Dr Betty Maxwell.The Concorde used to transport guests to Tangier has also passed on – a technological step backwards if ever there was.
Now, someone looking to throw an equivalently extravagant party once lockdown is over (and once they’ve lavished a small fortune renovating it) in Morocco, could acquire a 32,292 square foot space in what agents Kensington Properties call a “high up… striking position overlooking the River Nfis.”
Going further of the £5.3 million ($6.5 million, €6 million or درهم23.8 million) fortress, they add of Kasbah Tagountaft: “[It] is considered one of the most memorable sites of historical significance in Morocco” and was “once the home of the powerful Caid of the Goundafa tribe who vied for control of the Atlas Mountains at the end of the 19th century.”
Whilst little else is described in the marketing material for this “absolutely stunning property, full of potential,” one thing’s for sure: Anyone with a requirement for working Wi-Fi when they arrive on site, need not apply.
Vast “fairytale” château in France’s Loire Valley for sale for ‘just’ £28 million in spite of having had £80 million spent already on its renovation; it was most famously owned by Madame de Pompadour
In 2017, a Lebanese-born, Monaco-based property developer named Edmond Baysari placed what selling agents Sotheby’s International Realty describes as the “most beautiful and majestic castle in [the] Loire Valley” on the market. It’s so big and so costly to maintain that it remains for sale still today.
Harvard educated Mr Baysari purchased the 102,257 square foot château for about £4.3 million in 1983 from the Parisian glassmakers Saint-Gorbain. It had been used as their company retreat from 1939 and had earlier belonged to Jeanne Antoinette Poisson – the official chief mistress of Louis XV from 1745 to 1751 and a woman better known as ‘Madame de Pompadour’ – in the years prior to her premature death from tuberculosis in 1764 aged just 42.
Providing “regally appointed” accommodation so vast that it is not even described in detail that includes around 50 bedrooms and a wine cellar capable of housing 30,000 bottles amongst other things, Château de Menars – or the ‘Palace Pompadour’ as some have nicknamed it – costs around £800,000 per year to run. In total, some £80 million has been spent renovating it “using the same methods” that the king’s mistress originally employed.
Of why he is selling, the heirless businessman’s lawyer, Jack Anderson, told Reuters in 2017: “[Mr Baysari] realises destiny is going to take him… His goal is to know that it’s in the hands of someone who’s going to continue the beauty of the chateau and maintain it.”
The 104 acres of grounds that surround the château includes vineyards yielding pinot noir grapes, “elegant” geometric grassed lawns and more than a mile of frontage to the River Loire. Classical sculptures and gazebos abound and there is, according to Reuters, “a cobbled courtyard large enough to land a helicopter” also.
During Baysari’s ownership guests at Château de Menars have supposedly numbered Prince Charles, Mikhail Gorbachev, Mick Jagger and President Ronald Reagan. Now, Sotheby’s International Realty point out: “We think this could be perfect for the creation of a luxury hotel complex… Or for the acquisition of an extraordinary and very large private property.”
His “English spoken” [sic] agent, Jean-Pierre Piganiol, seeks £27.6 million and according to Forbes, “several nine-figure offers from Russian and Middle Eastern billionaires looking for a trophy home” have already been turned down.
The Names & Numbers – Château de Menars, Loire Valley, Blois, 41000, France
1983 to 2017 – The sum said to have been spent on restoration of the Château de Menars is said to have been £80.1 million ($100 million, €91.4 million or درهم367.3 million). Annual upkeep costs are said to be £801,000 million ($1 million, €914,000 million or درهم3.7 million).
1983 – Sold to Edmond Baysari for 5 million francs or the equivalent of £4.3 million ($5.4 million, €4.9 million or درهم19.7 million).
1949 – Declared an Historic Monument of France.
1939 – Sold after his death by Mr Allard’s daughters, Blanche Lasserre, Yvonne Arnodin and Jeanne Goirand, to Saint-Gobain, the Parisian glassmakers, for use as their company retreat.
April 1912 – Acquired for 700,050 francs (about £27,400 at that time) by Félix Allard, a “contractor for public works.” He modernised the château and added mains water, hot air heating, gas lighting and electricity and features including a large gallery area.
1760 – Purchased by Madame de Pompadour (1721 – 1764) for 1 million livres (about £75,000 at that time). She “sold some pearl bracelets to meet the first payment” and commissioned the architect Ange-Jacques Gabriel to build two new wings on either side of the two existing pavilions on the property. Sadly for her, she never saw it completed as she died from tuberculosis in 1764.
1728 to 1732 – Stanislas Leszcynski (1677 – 1766), the King of Poland, stayed at Château de Menars whilst in exile as a guest of the Charon family.
1669 – Jean-Jacques Charon (1643 – 1718), son of Jacques Charon, “added two unequal wings to the chateau and considerably enlarged the estate.”
1646 – Commencement of the construction of a castle on the site by one Jacques Charon. It “composed of a main building and two symmetrical pavilions.”
In spite of being born in 1925 in a castle in Austria, West London based mother of two Lotti Henley spends days feeding the homeless and destitute. Enthusiastic and dedicated to “caring for food,” this nonagenarian community heroin co-founded the Plan Zheroes charity in 2011 as part of her “vision of a world where no one will be living in food poverty.” A refugee and nurse herself in the Second World War, Henley was forced to suck stones to trick her stomach into thinking it was full and now her motto is: “Too blessed to be stressed and it’s true… I’ve never forgotten hunger… Do not waste food, pass it on to a charity geographically close… It doesn’t take an awful lot and it’s awfully fun… 39% of all in landfill is food and it’s all good food.” A truly wonderful lady working for a sadly ridiculously necessary cause.
