Category: Drinking Phrases

Five of the Best – Drinking Delights To Counter ‘Dry January’ 2023

‘The Steeple Times’ counters ‘Dry January’ by selecting five drinking delights that those on a variety of budgets will say cheers to in this anything but actually maudlin month

Sanctimonious sorts in Britain and beyond have been spinning the ‘virtues’ (not that we’ve noticed any) of not drinking in the first month of the year.

Dull and drippy public relations peddlers have rammed the concept of the ludicrous and completely overpriced emperor’s new clothes of drinks – ‘non-alcoholic spirits’ – down all our necks and those that dare to say they prefer ‘Dry Ginuary’ have been labelled ‘lushes’ even. We think this frankly ridiculous and today suggest a counterpoint – enjoy what you wish and enjoy it with abandon.

To counter the balderdash of the teetotalling twazzocks, here we select five things that would most definitely delight drinkers this month. We follow with a selection of the very best drinking advice and phrases.

1970s Italian drinks cabinet by Aldo Tura

£4,500 ($5,575, €5,128 or درهم20,475), Brownrigg of Tetbury, Gloucestershire.

Take your home bar to a new level in 2023 with this lacquered goatskin, brass and burl bar cabinet by the firm of the much-lauded Italian craftsman Aldo Tura (1909 – 1963).

Tura’s passion for all things booze related extended to cocktail shakers, ice buckets and trays also but this incredible cabinet is talked up by ritzy antiques aficionados Brownrigg as capable of “making a statement” in any setting.

1960s Italian cocktail shaker by Aldo Tura

£515 ($638, €587 or درهم2,343), excluding shipping costs from Italy, from Pamono by Chairish

If you’re green with envy of whoever ends up buying the previously mentioned cocktail cabinet, but not quite in the four-figure price range to get it through your front door, how about a 1960s cocktail shaker by the same firm?

One is currently available online and it is described as “space age” in style. Get John Lee Hooker and T. Bone Walker’s 1962 classic on and Shake It Baby! The 10cm by 10cm by 23cm high piece in green parchment is talked-up as being in “excellent condition.”

Silicone grenade ice cube mould

£9.07 ($11.24, €10.34 or درهم41.27) for two, plus shipping costs, from Etsy.

Regular ice cube trays just don’t cut it and the ice they produce waters down beverages too quickly. Get your drinking partners into military shape with the grenade ice cubes these silicone moulds produce – they’ll go down better than a bomb!

Junimperium Estonian gin

£41.24 ($51.09, €46.99 or درهم187.64), excluding delivery costs, from Master of Malt for a 70cl 45% ABV bottle of blended dry gin.

Are you bored of Bombay and Beefeater? If so, spice up your home bar with some unusual gins that’ll have your guests bursting out with delight this January? Junimperium’s multi-award winning, blended dry gins are made from Estonian berries but balanced with a peppery and rich finish. You most certainly won’t find them in Tesco or J. D. Wetherspoons.

Aside from a 45% ABV blended dry gin, see off those winter blues by the fireside with a special spicy ‘Winter Edition’ – which features warming cardamom notes and an “unfiltered lingonberry infusion.”

First edition of the 1930 ‘The Savoy Cocktail Book’ by Harry Craddock along with the author’s swordstick

£6,950 ($8,611, €7,920 or درهم31,622) from Rooke Books of Bath.

Harry Craddock (1876 – 1963) was undoubtedly the best barman of the 20^th century – if not ever. A United States citizen from 1897, though born in Stroud Gloucestershire, Craddock moved back to the UK in 1926 because of his dislike of prohibition. As head bartender at the American Bar at The Savoy, here was a cocktail shaker who became the genius creator of over 240 cocktails, but sadly someone who was ultimately buried in a pauper’s grave.

His classics numbered the Old Fashioned, the Corpse Reviver and the White Lady and his cocktail book has been termed a “wonderful work” and “beyond iconic.” The first edition offered is unique in that it comes with not only an inscription of “Here’s How, Harry Craddock” to Collis-Phillips Halpin but also the author’s swordstick.

Of the accompaniment, Rooke Books observe:

“[The swordstick] is in a damaged condition and is lacking the end of the stick. Plastow stated that the damage occurred when an inebriated patron was abusive to other customers of the American Bar where Collis worked. The patron refused to leave a party of ladies alone and therefore Craddock attended the scene, hitting the man so hard across the shoulder that the stick broke. ‘The American Cocktail Bar erupted in cheers.’ … Owing to the accompanying swordstick, we would only be able to ship this book within the UK.”

For those without the four-figure budget for this bit of boozing history, a “value edition” of the book can be purchased on Amazon in paperback form for just £10.50.

Great Drinking Phrases

“If you can’t have one at eleven, have eleven at one.”

“Down the hatch, round the gums, look out Tommy, here it comes.”

“Time is only for the middle classes.”

“It must be 6pm somewhere in the world.”

“They say: ‘No wine before nine,’ but they don’t specify am or pm.”

“Any day, anytime, anywhere.”

Wise Drinking Advice

“If you’ve had enough, pour yourself a G&T, you have my permission.”

BBC Radio 4 ‘Woman’s Hour’ presenter Anita Rani on home-schooling parents during the January 2021 lockdown.

“[Alcohol is] the only drug you do not have to apologise for taking… [I] associate drinking with friendship and good times… The advice to ‘drink responsibly’ is the world’s most boring phrase.”

BBC presenter Adrian Chiles on drinking during lockdowns.

“Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.”

Madeline Glancy of Prestwich, Lancashire in a letter to ‘The Telegraph’ in May 2020.

Wise Words About Gin

“Let the evening beGIN!”

Anon.

“I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.”

The well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

“Life is too short for single gins.”

Anon.

“Red meat and gin.”

America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

“I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin.”

Anon.

“Myself, I’m a fan of the gin without the tonic. Why on God’s great earth would you want to water down such masterpiece?”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ ‘The Stray Cat.’

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

“Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice].”

Charles Dickens, ‘Sketches’ (1836).

“When life gives you juniper, make gin!”

Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin.”

Anon.

Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.” Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin.”

Anon.

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”

Noël Coward.

“The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.”

American historian Bernard DeVoto.

“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.”

Winston Churchill.

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Humphrey Bogart as Rick in ‘Casablanca’ (1942).

“Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin.’”

Anon.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

Comedian Phyllis Diller.

“Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is.”

Anon.

“Gin drinkers are sassy, classy and just a little smart assy.”

Anon.

“You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.”

American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

“Fortunately, there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin.”

French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

“I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me”

Anon.

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”

Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

“Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin.”

British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

“According to chemists, gin IS a solution.”

Anon.

“Gin is not A solution. It is always THE solution.”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ Shaun Keaveny.

“Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.”

The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

“It’s always gin o’clock.”

Anon.

January 22, 2023
Terrific Terlingham – Superb Gin Made With Bacchus Wine On Kentish Vineyard

Matthew Steeples samples Terlingham Vineyard’s Bacchus Dry Gin; it’s made with the last of this Kentish winery’s 2020 Bacchus wine yet still is clearly a classic, dry gin

To the Romans, Bacchus – known by the Greeks as Dionysus – was the god of wine and intoxication, but now most appealingly for those that like to imbibe in more spiritual pleasures, a Kentish vineyard at Hawkinge, near Folkestone has crafted a gin using its very own Bacchus wine.

“Confounding most predictions,” there has been a stratospheric growth in the gin sector with 124 new distilleries registered in the UK and sales with volumes approaching 1 billion litres per annum worldwide in 2020 to 2021 alone. Those making this clear alcoholic beverage have thus had to get more innovative in their creations in order to attract attention and sales and ‘experimental’ offerings have come to dominant a seemingly overcrowded marketplace.

Whilst ‘Lobstar’ – a cringeworthily captioned “maritime gin” I once tried made with macerated lobster left me thinking it “anything but a catch” and wanting to simply “claw back to something traditional” – a much more appealing example comes in the form of Terlingham Vineyard’s small batch dry gin. It is limit to a production of just 1,300 bottles and though unusual still has that dominant taste of the key ingredient that makes a gin a gin, juniper.

Made with what they term a “magic ingredient” of the last of their 2020 Bacchus wine and in partnership with south west London based Rebel Distillers, this 40% ABV gin has notes of elderflower and gooseberry from the wine and a mix of orange peel, honey, nettles and rhubarb as botanicals. The resulting creation has a smooth and sophisticated palette and resultingly Forbes magazine labelled it one of the “world’s best 9 new gins” in August this year.

Of what she calls a “delicious and as kind to the earth as possible” gin that offers a “taste of the Kent coast,” Jackie Wilks, a member of the family that have owned Terlingham Vineyard since 2011, recently told Kent Live:

“We distill some of this wine into an eau de vie, and add it into the gin as one of the botanicals, it is a classic dry gin. We start with traditional juniper and add some locally found botanicals including rhubarb and nettle, collected by hand here in Folkestone… The feedback we’ve had on the gin has been it has a depth and smoothness that is unusual… And that the flavours are fascinating, and they develop with each sip.”

Terlingham Bacchus Dry Gin can be bought online for £38.50 per 70cl bottle by clicking here.

Pictured Top – Bottles of Terlingham Vinyard 2020 Saxon Shore Bacchus wine and the small batch dry gin that it also goes into making.

Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

The Wilks family – Graham and Lorna and their daughters Jackie, Caroline and Ashleigh – bought their Kentish vineyard in 2011 after moving to the UK from South Africa. The vines there had been planted in 2006 and in the years since they have farmed it in a natural way without any artificial pesticides, fertilisers or herbicides. They proudly state of it: “As we learnt more, we realised we weren’t comfortable with what we were putting into the soil and its impact on the local plant and animal life. We took the leap to move to natural farming over 8 years ago… We encourage the natural wild grasses and flowers that grow amongst the vines, and we welcome the bees, butterflies and spiders that accompany them! We do everything in the vineyard ourselves, by hand, and we make our wines in a traditional, low intervention way as well. Our 2022 carbon footprint audit gave us a negative 11.9 tonne footprint, which means that we are a carbon sink for the area! The farm also has an ancient woodland running along the east boundary, which is a local sanctuary for biodiversity homing a number of rare and indigenous species. The vineyard has been in organic conversion since 2022 and will be fully certified by 2025.”

In spite of being just 15 minutes drive from the hustle and bustle of Dover and just 8 minutes drive from the Channel Tunnel, this biodiverse vineyard is in a delightful location on the Kent Downs and prides itself on its ecological viticulture.

The makers suggest that their gin is best enjoyed with a sprig of mint and a lime wedge; I enjoyed it most served as a large measure in a tumbler with just ice and tonic.

Wise Words About Gin…

“Let the evening beGIN!”

Anon.

“I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.”

The well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

“Life is too short for single gins.”

Anon.

“Red meat and gin.”

America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

“I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin.”

Anon.

“Myself, I’m a fan of the gin without the tonic. Why on God’s great earth would you want to water down such masterpiece?”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ ‘The Stray Cat.’

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

“Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice].”

Charles Dickens, ‘Sketches’ (1836).

“When life gives you juniper, make gin!”

Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin.”

Anon.

“If you’ve had enough, pour yourself a G&T, you have my permission.”

BBC Radio 4 ‘Woman’s Hour’ presenter Anita Rani on home-schooling parents during the January 2021 lockdown.

“Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.”

Madeline Glancy of Prestwich, Lancashire in a letter to ‘The Telegraph’ in May 2020.

Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.” Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin.”

Anon.

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”

Noël Coward.

“The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.”

American historian Bernard DeVoto.

“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.”

Winston Churchill.

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Humphrey Bogart as Rick in ‘Casablanca’ (1942).

“Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin.’”

Anon.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

Comedian Phyllis Diller.

“Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is.”

Anon.

“Gin drinkers are sassy, classy and just a little smart assy.”

Anon.

“You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.”

American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

“Fortunately, there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin.”

French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

“I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me”

Anon.

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”

Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

“Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin.”

British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

“According to chemists, gin IS a solution.”

Anon.

“Gin is not A solution. It is always THE solution.”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ Shaun Keaveny.

“Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.”

The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

“It’s always gin o’clock.”

Anon.

December 4, 2022
Word of the Week 2022 – ‘Quafftide’ – A Drinker’s Delight

A 16^th century word – ‘quafftide’ – announcing that “it’s time for a drink” is something that should be added to the vocabulary of every single household in the land

Though puritans and bores object to those that like a tipple, the wonderfully wise sage that is Susie Dent – AKA ‘That Woman in Dictionary Corner’ – did it again yesterday when she shared a “one-word announcement that [means] it’s time for a drink” on her Twitter account.

That word was “quafftide” and we urge you all say “cheers to that” and to add it to your daily vocabulary. After all, it’s always quafftide wherever and whenever you jolly well want it to be.

Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party.

The gin swigging Lillian Bellamy – the character played by the delightfully sunny Sunny Ormonde in the long-running BBC Radio 4 drama series ‘The Archers’ – brings joy wherever she goes and is a reminder than gin doesn’t actually make anyone depressed. If you want joy, pour yourself a stiff G&T and yell out: “It’s quafftide.”

Television presenter Adrian Chiles is right to have lamented the overuse of the tedious “drink responsibly” mantra forced upon us. He quite rightly responded by embracing “quafftide” and by having another measure.

Iris Apfel is 101-years-old and she hasn’t yet stopped drinking. We say: “Cheers to her and cheers to that.”

Great Drinking Phrases

“If you can’t have one at eleven, have eleven at one.”

“Down the hatch, round the gums, look out Tommy, here it comes.”

“Time is only for the middle classes.”

“It must be 6pm somewhere in the world.”

“They say: ‘No wine before nine,’ but they don’t specify am or pm.”

“Any day, anytime, anywhere.”

Wise Drinking Advice

“If you’ve had enough, pour yourself a G&T, you have my permission.”

BBC Radio 4 ‘Woman’s Hour’ presenter Anita Rani on home-schooling parents during the January 2021 lockdown.

“[Alcohol is] the only drug you do not have to apologise for taking… [I] associate drinking with friendship and good times… The advice to ‘drink responsibly’ is the world’s most boring phrase.”

BBC presenter Adrian Chiles on drinking during lockdowns.

“Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.”

Madeline Glancy of Prestwich, Lancashire in a letter to ‘The Telegraph’ in May 2020.

Wise Words About Gin

“Let the evening beGIN!”

Anon.

“I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.”

The well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

“Life is too short for single gins.”

Anon.

“Red meat and gin.”

America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

“I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin.”

Anon.

“Myself, I’m a fan of the gin without the tonic. Why on God’s great earth would you want to water down such masterpiece?”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ ‘The Stray Cat.’

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

“Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice].”

Charles Dickens, ‘Sketches’ (1836).

“When life gives you juniper, make gin!”

Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin.”

Anon.

Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.” Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin.”

Anon.

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”

Noël Coward.

“The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.”

American historian Bernard DeVoto.

“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.”

Winston Churchill.

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Humphrey Bogart as Rick in ‘Casablanca’ (1942).

“Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin.’”

Anon.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

Comedian Phyllis Diller.

“Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is.”

Anon.

“Gin drinkers are sassy, classy and just a little smart assy.”

Anon.

“You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.”

American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

“Fortunately, there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin.”

French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

“I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me”

Anon.

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”

Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

“Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin.”

British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

“According to chemists, gin IS a solution.”

Anon.

“Gin is not A solution. It is always THE solution.”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ Shaun Keaveny.

“Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.”

The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

“It’s always gin o’clock.”

Anon.

November 19, 2022
Cancel Culture Crazy – Call For Plantation Rum To Be Cancelled Is Nothing But Woke Wazzock Warbling

As ITV’s ‘Good Morning Britain’ Rachelle Ferron calls out Plantation Rum as a “horror” brand that “chokes,” Matthew Steeples asks if this is cancel culture crazy warbling by a woke wazzock?

Nobody with a moral compass would today come out in favour of slavery, but would even the cancel culture crackpot Owen Jones go as far as to seek to cancel anything mentioning the description “plantation” – meaning in essence “a large farm” – out of outrage over its past associations?

Though the answer to that question is a likely “yes” given the attention seeking Chavs author would likely have sought to whine if he’d thought of it first, ITV’s Good Morning Britain head of entertainment Rachelle Ferron was given acres of column inches to get in her thoughts on this noun yesterday. In an article for The Guardian, she ludicrously claimed to have been “choked” after seeing it on a visit to a branch of a Richard Caring owned restaurant, The Ivy.

Ferron, offended to find the “P-word” listed on the menu in the form of a “rum-soaked sponge” made with Plantation Rum, whined: “It matters that once you really see these things, it is difficult to unsee them.”

Droning on, a woman once proudly posed for a snap with Sean Combs – whose clothing brands have ironically been called out for operating “slave labour-like” working conditions – surmised: “Hmm (rather than ‘Mmm’). My dad is Jamaican. My ancestors were slaves.”

She added:

“Does this matter? Yes. It matters that all around us we see reminders of a painful past, and then feel the indignity of knowing that the words and images of historic colonial exploitation are being deployed, even offered to us, as brands and items produced for someone’s commercial gain. It matters that once you really see these things, it is difficult to unsee them. Either you come to terms with them, or you decide that this is not the way for diverse societies to behave, and resolve to act.”

“These brands and images, these indignities and slights, have perhaps always been there. But one night, on date night, I saw ‘Plantation’ rum on the menu, thought about the history and connotations, and thought: enough. It was my own little protest, but that’s how wider change often starts.”

Continuing, Ferron expressed objection at a property development in Battersea with the name Plantation Wharf and a pier of the same name operated for Uber Boat by Thames Clippers. Houses – such as those owned by Ben Affleck – with “P-word” history and the shutters they gave their name to, she argued are part of “[worshipping] a trend that glorifies plantation living.”

After complaining to the restaurant group about the ‘hurt’ she felt, the liquid that so outraged her has now been removed from at least 30 restaurants owned by bouffant haired billionaire Caring in spite of a pledge from Maison Ferrand, the owners of Plantation Rum, that they would be taking steps to “rebrand” in June 2020.

At that time, the company’s Stephanie Simbo told The Spirits Business:

“We pride ourselves on making delicious rum for people to enjoy and never want any part of their experience to create feelings of discomfort.”

“To that end, we want to be on the side of actions and solutions. As you can imagine, evolving a brand name is a significant undertaking for a family business like ours. We humbly ask that everyone have patience as we move to make these changes as quickly as possible.”

Alexandre Gabriel, the company’s founder and master blender, previously added:

“As the dialogue on racial equality continues globally, we understand the hurtful connotation the word ‘plantation’ can evoke to some people, especially in its association with much graver images and dark realities of the past.”

“We look to grow in our understanding of these difficult issues and while we don’t currently have all the details of what our brand name evolution will involve, we want to let everyone know that we are working to make fitting changes.”

Though Rachelle Ferron most likely enthused the woke in Britain with her ‘victory’ over a noun describing a farm, I’d argue she’s instead secured nothing but making herself look like a hectoring harridan with a desire to damage a small family business that has already committed to making change. Now, I’d suggest, it is time for her to take her pitchfork off for a confrontation with her chum P. Diddy.

Pictured top – The Whitney Plantation in Louisiana, a place which now seeks to “educate the public about the history of slavery and its legacies” rather than celebrating or erasing memory of its past (left); the rum that so offended Rachelle Ferron (right).

Maison Ferrand “Cognac maverick” Alexandre Gabriel’s rum’s name is due to be changed, but nonetheless Rachelle Ferron chose yesterday to get unnecessarily outraged about seeing the brand on menus at one of the premises of the chi-chi restaurant group, The Ivy. Though she claimed to seek to cause “a downturn in custom” by complaining and then got Richard Caring’s restaurant to “remove all ‘Plantation’ rum products (including that offensive pud) from its restaurants, bars and menus, what has she actually achieved? “I’m still digesting the news, but, wow – I did that. I forced change on a British institution,” she crowed, but isn’t she just putting jobs at risk at a company that has already agreed to what she wanted in 2020?

Previously, in May 2017, Ferron happily posed for pictures with Sean Combs (AKA P. Diddy, Diddy, Puffy and Puff Daddy), the face and “equal-share venture” collaborator of the Diageo vodka brand Cîroc. She declared of a man who was previously called out for involving himself in “sweatshop labour” with the clothing brands he associated with: “Come back for an interview on GMB. We had so much fun before,” yet today attacks others for a word she associates with slavery.

Can Ferron not just accept that the noun actually primarily defines “an estate on which crops such as coffee, sugar, and tobacco are grown”? She might call such “places of horror,” but what does she actually achieve by seeking to erase a word?

Antebellum style Destrehan Manor House in Louisiana was used in the 2013 Steve McQueen directed, Brad Pitt produced film ‘12 Years A Slave’ starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender. Will Ferron next demand this architecturally important building be demolished because of what she views to be the “outrage” associated with its past?

October 26, 2022
Five Famous Coffee Drinkers – From Bach to Britney

Coffee addict David G. Lennox examines the stories of five famous coffee drinkers – including J. S. Bach and Britney Spears

Some say that blue mountain beans from Jamaica – which are of extremely limited production and of which 80% of each year’s crop go to Japan – give those that purchase them the finest coffee in the world.

Others, on a lesser budget, plump for Shoreditch brand Grind or “coffee without fuss” from Cirencester’s Rave collection, but for those looking to serve up something that is accessible yet enjoyable at home you will need a great quality coffee coffee grinder (also called a ‘mill’).

By using such a device you’ll get a fresh brew that has a delicious aroma and a house smelling with pleasure and here below I select five famous individuals whose caffeinated brilliance allegedly stemmed from their addiction to the taste and smell of this black nectar.

Johan Sebastian Bach (1685 – 1750)

“If I couldn’t, three times a day, be allowed to drink my little cup of coffee, in my anguish I will turn into a shriveled-up roast goat” shared the German composer and musician Johan Sebastian Bach in his humorous Coffee Cantata – a controversial 18^th century secular vocal composition that was also titled Schweigt stille, plaudert nicht BWV 211 (‘Be still, stop chattering’).

In it, a killjoy father urges his coffee addicted daughter to give up her pleasure and pursue happiness in marriage instead. By the end, both end up expounding the pleasures of coffee drinking and forgetting the woes of marriage.

    Father sir, but do not be so harsh!

    If I couldn’t, three times a day,

    be allowed to drink my little cup of coffee,

    in my anguish I will turn into

    a shriveled-up roast goat.

    Ah! How sweet coffee tastes,

    more delicious than a thousand kisses,

    milder than muscatel wine.

    Coffee, I have to have coffee,

    and, if someone wants to pamper me,

    ah, then bring me coffee as a gift!

T. S. Eliot (1888 – 1965)

Also well-known as a gin swiller, T. S. Eliot observed: “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons” in his first professionally published poem, The Love Song of Alfred Prufrock.

Written from 1910 onwards and shared in the June 1915 edition of Poetry: A Magazine in Verse, this Dante inspired work was considered as “outlandish” in its content as the supposedly hundreds of cups of coffee the American born British transplant drank whilst penning it.

Thomas Jefferson, 3^rd President of the United States of America (1743 – 1826)

Noted also as an “enthusiastic” wine drinker, this Founding Father referenced coffee as “the favourite drink of the civilised world.” Considered one of the finest examples of a “Renaissance man,” Jefferson enjoyed the coffee houses of Williamsburg and Paris and consumed a pound of it a day during his retirement. His French maïtre d’hôtel, Adrien Peitt, served the political titan’s beverage of choice from a “silver coffee urn made to his very own design.”

Britney Spears (born 1981)

The Baby One More Time singer created her twentieth fragrance in June 2016 with the help of coffee. “Get a whiff of Britney” enthused ETOnline of ‘Private Show’ whilst Miss Spears herself told them that she’d come up with “an uplifting, sexy scent that empowers [my fans] to achieve their dreams.”

A press release for the perfume added that it was inspired by the Mississippi born ‘Princess of Pop’s’ “love of dulce de leche, white florals and iced coffee.”

Voltaire (born François-Marie Arouet, 1694 – 1778)

This witty French enlightenment writer, historian and philosopher was known best for his advocacy of freedom of speech and religion and the separation of church and state. Voltaire supposedly came to such views whilst drinking an astonishing 50 to 72 cups of coffee per day and aside from viewing this “brain brew” to be a creative inspiration paid “hefty bonuses” to servants who found his favourite beans.

August 9, 2022
Word of the Week 2022 – Trousered

As ‘trousered’ enters the Oxford English Dictionary with a citation for Sir Billy Connolly, we share some other great booze related words and phrases

“More is more and less is a bore” is the mantra that nonagenarian Iris Apfel lives by and she’d most certainly approve of the latest word to enter the Oxford English Dictionary – “trousered.”

Coined by Sir Billy O’Connolly during a 1977 newspaper interview and no doubt to be viewed as the bigging-up the behaviour of the Antichrist by those observing the tedious #DryJanuary in 2022, this morning the MailOnline reported that the comedian first used it when he said: “After I’ve finished [on stage] I can get totally trousered along with the best of them. But I never touch the stuff before.”

Surprising himself a teetotaler since the 1980s, Sir Billy’s contribution has been entered as: “Slang (chiefly British and Irish English). Drunk, intoxicated” and of it, Kate Wild, the dictionary’s chief editor, remarked:

“The newly added sense of ‘trousered’ meaning ‘drunk’ expands what is already one of the largest categories, ‘drunk,’ which contains over 200 words: from Old English ‘fordrunken’ through to late 20th-century coinages such as ‘wazzed’ and ‘mullered.’”

Sir Billy O’Connolly might not have touched a drop since the 1980s and may well have successfully avoided the hooch whilst on night’s out, but he truly will now go down in history for getting the slang word “trousered” into the pillar of the establishment’s go-to-bible, the Oxford English Dictionary.

Iris Apfel is 100 years old and she hasn’t yet stopped drinking. We say: “Cheers to her and cheers to that.”

Great Drinking Phrases

To describe someone who has imbibed a little too much alcohol also, instead of using Sir Billy O’Connolly’s favoured description, you could remark:

“Och, aye, you’re slightly over-refreshed” (if you happen to be Scottish).

To respond to someone moaning about what time it is acceptable to have the first drink of the day:

“If you can’t have one at eleven, have eleven at one.”

“Time is only for the middle classes.”

“It must be 6pm somewhere in the world.”

“They say: ‘No wine before nine,’ but they don’t specify am or pm.”

“Any day, anytime, anywhere.”

Wise Drinking Advice During The Coronavirus Pandemic

“If you’ve had enough, pour yourself a G&T, you have my permission.”

BBC Radio 4 ‘Woman’s Hour’ presenter Anita Rani on home-schooling parents during the January 2021 lockdown.

“[Alcohol is] the only drug you do not have to apologise for taking… [I] associate drinking with friendship and good times… The advice to ‘drink responsibly’ is the world’s most boring phrase.”

BBC presenter Adrian Chiles on drinking during lockdowns.

“Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.”

Madeline Glancy of Prestwich, Lancashire in a letter to ‘The Telegraph’ in May 2020.

“My neighbour leaves a huge gin and tonic on my garden table at 2pm each afternoon we then holler ‘cheers’ over the fence. Wonderfully welcome!”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ Jo Griffiths.

Television presenter Adrian Chiles is right to have lamented the overuse of the tedious “drink responsibly” mantra forced upon us.

The gin swigging Lillian Bellamy – the character played by the delightfully sunny Sunny Ormonde in the long-running BBC Radio 4 drama series ‘The Archers’ – brings joy wherever she goes and is a reminder than gin doesn’t actually make anyone depressed. If you want depression, just look at Boris Johnson and his rotten government; if you want joy, pour yourself a stiff G&T.

Wise Words About Gin

“Let the evening beGIN!”

Anon.

“I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic.”

The well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

“Life is too short for single gins.”

Anon.

“Red meat and gin.”

America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

“I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin.”

Anon.

“Myself, I’m a fan of the gin without the tonic. Why on God’s great earth would you want to water down such masterpiece?”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ ‘The Stray Cat.’

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”

American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

“Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice].”

Charles Dickens, ‘Sketches’ (1836).

“When life gives you juniper, make gin!”

Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin.”

Anon.

Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.” Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin.”

Anon.

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.”

Noël Coward.

“The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.”

American historian Bernard DeVoto.

“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire.”

Winston Churchill.

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Humphrey Bogart as Rick in ‘Casablanca’ (1942).

“Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin.’”

Anon.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.”

Comedian Phyllis Diller.

“Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is.”

Anon.

“Gin drinkers are sassy, classy and just a little smart assy.”

Anon.

“You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.”

American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

“Fortunately, there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin.”

French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

“I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me”

Anon.

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”

Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

“Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin.”

British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

“According to chemists, gin IS a solution.”

Anon.

“Gin is not A solution. It is always THE solution.”

Reader of ‘The Steeple Times’ Shaun Keaveny.

“Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.”

The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

“It’s always gin o’clock.”

Anon.

January 6, 2022