The Steeple Times

Category: Deathtraps

  • Off With His Head!

    Off With His Head!

    As Carrie Johnson continues to be nicknamed ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ she could buy a Napoleonic bone model of a guillotine and shout out “Off with his head!” about her enemies instead of gyrating to Abba with her groupies in her Downing Street flat

    Whilst the command “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” is most commonly associated with The Queen of Hearts in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Queen Margaret in Henry VI Part III, guillotines used to execute such a gruesome order were most commonly brought before the public for beheadings during the French Revolution after their introduction by Dr Joseph-Ignace Guillotin.

     

    This deadly piece of capital punishment apparatus undoubtedly counts Marie Antoinette – currently trending online with Carrie Johnson getting constantly compared to her – as its most famous ‘sitter’ and remarkably it remained as the official method of execution in France until the death penalty was abolished in 1981.

     

    Reflecting the ‘Carrie Antoinette’ nickname she’s gone and got herself stuck with, now, perhaps, the beleaguered Prime Minister’s wife could purchase a 19th century Napoleonic prisoner-of-war working model of a guillotine in an auction in London this week. She could even use it as a device to play a game of “off with his head!” whilst imagining the fate of those in Westminster who’ve caused her woes and maybe, indeed, it’d provide her, Josh Grimstone and Henry Newman with alternative entertainment to gyrating to Abba and chucking wine over those very expensive Lulu Lytle sofas.

     

    Measuring 41 centimetres by 25.5 centimetres by 20 centimetres, the carved bone five tier platform connected by steps with a working guillotine to be offered was most likely made by a French prisoner-of-war during the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars of 1793 to 1815. It truly is amazing to think that someone under such adversity was able to get this creative and that it has survived in such good condition is equally remarkable also.

     

    Bonhams will sell the model on Tuesday 15th February at their Knightsbridge, London auction house’s ‘The Connoisseur’s Library Sale’ and have set an estimate of £6,000 to £9,000 ($8,100 to $12,200, €7,200 to €10,800 or درهم29,800, to درهم44,700). We’ll be sure to send a spy to the auction room to look out for the current Mrs Johnson.

     

    Elsewhere previously at Christie’s in June 2013, a larger and more detailed Napoleonic prisoner-of-war bone model of a ‘Man-O-War’ ship measuring 89 centimetres by 69 centimetres sold for £40,000 ($54,200, €47,900 or درهم198,900) against an estimate of just £20,000 to £30,000 ($27,100 to $40,600, €23,900 to €35,900 or درهم99,400 to درهم149,200).

     

     

    Napoleonic prisoner-of-war working bone model of a guillotine 1
    During the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars (1793 – 1815), large numbers of French prisoners were housed in open prisons throughout Britain. Their daily food ration included half a pound of beef or mutton on the bone. Subsequently, the bone became a readily available source of raw material from which a variety of objects were crafted. Other materials were also used, including wood, horn, brass, silk, straw and glass. Typically, the models were not made to scale as accurate scale plans were not available and tools were limited.
    Napoleonic prisoner-of-war working bone model of a guillotine 2
    The item offered comes with a model prisoner with two detachable heads, complete with polychromed and articulated figures including an officer, a drummer, four soldiers and an executioner.
    Napoleonic prisoner-of-war model of a Man-O-War
    The ‘Man-O-War’ bone model that sold at Christie’s featured ninety-two guns, a well-carved classical soldier figurehead, planking, deck features and a galleried transom carved with mermaids and figures. It had six long boats, was fully rigged and was enclosed within a Perspex case.
    Marie Antoinette execution by guillotine
    Marie Antoinette’s execution by guillotine on 16th October 1793 at 12.15pm is most certainly the most infamous example of death by that device. Her last recorded words were: “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur. Je ne l’ai pas fait exprès” or “Pardon me, sir, I did not do it on purpose.”

    Alternative Names By Which Guillotines Were Known

    • The Paper Trimmer.
    • The Half-Moon.
    • The Machine.
    • The Regretful Climb.
    • The National Razor.
    • The Timers of Justice.
    • The Silence Machine.
    • The Widow.

     

     

  • E-Scooter Explodes; Ban Them Now!

    E-Scooter Explodes; Ban Them Now!

    After an e-scooter explodes at Parsons Green underground station, it is time for these dangerous deathtrap devices to be banned in Britain

    Yet more proof of the dangers of e-scooters was provided last week when one exploded on the District Line at Parsons Green underground station.

     

    First reported on in the Evening Standard, the incident occurred last Monday at around 8pm and follows another similar incident at Stanmore on 26th October.

     

    Of what occurred, the paper stated:

     

    “In shocking footage, sent to The Standard, clouds of smoke billow down the District Line tube as the flaming scooter is dragged on to the platform at 8pm on Monday night.”

     

    “Passengers flee and can be heard coughing and spluttering from smoke inhalation after the lithium battery of the device exploded at the front of the carriage.”

     

    “A frantic train driver barks an instruction for the passengers to evacuate the train immediately.”

     

    Speaking to the Evening Standard, Lorraine Ward, organising director of Transport Salaried Staffs’ Association (TSSA), remarked:

     

    “Without doubt the incident at Parsons Green raises very serious concerns. It’s becoming all too clear that e-scooters pose a significant threat to the travelling public, our members and all workers at TfL.”

     

    “There should be an immediate halt to transporting them on all TfL services until more research into these batteries has been carried out.”

     

    “I’m therefore urging TfL to fully enforce the already existing ban on the use of e-scooters. Indeed, a further ban across the wider travel network should be considered by the Secretary of State for Transport.”

     

    “What happened at Parsons Green and recently at Stanmore must be properly investigated as soon as possible. Safety on our transport network will always be our union’s number one priority, there can be no compromises on that.”

     

    In July, ‘The Steeple Times’ reported on the London cabbie feed @TaxiLeaks sharing a video of an e-scooter exploding in a park. They accompanied it with the caption: “This is the death trap device that Sadiq Khan, Heidi Alexander, Will Norman and TfL are promoting. This is what happens when the battery becomes faulty (apparently a common problem). I’m sure Heidi can explain being deputy Mayor for transport.”
    Emily Hartridge
    Vlogger Emily Hartridge died after being hit by a truck whilst using an e-scooter on a roundabout in Battersea in July 2019. Of the tragic accident, YouTuber, Noel Forrest, remarked: “Emily [Hartridge] was one of my best friends, we grew up together. She was a very expressive, kind and caring person. It’s just so very sad. This is a tragedy but some good should come from it. Clearly e-scooters are not safe. Why allow the sale of something that is not safe? The existing ban should be enforced and extended to cover their sale.” Rightly, at the time, Colin Wingrave of the Metropolitan Police concluded: “Electric scooters should not be on the pavement or the road.”

    Going further, a first responder stated: “How dangerous is that? The chemicals? It’s a f***ing scooter man the battery [caught on fire]” whilst a Transport for London spokesperson added:

     

    “We completely understand how worrying it was for our” customers and staff when an e-scooter caught alight on a train.

     

    “Emergency services attended Parsons Green station and the e-scooter was removed at the first opportunity.”

     

    “While incidents like this are very rare, we take safety on the network extremely seriously and are undertaking a full review, which includes liaising with the London Fire Brigade.”

     

    “It is forbidden to ride e-scooters at stations or on trains, and failure to comply with this by-law is a criminal offence. E-scooters may currently be carried but must be folded for the entirety of the journey.”

     

    As reported previously in The Steeple Times on multiple occasions, e-Scooters are a danger in many other senses to both those using them and those that get in their way on both pavements and roads. It is time to finally ban these blessed, dangerous nuisances. E-scooters belong nowhere except in scrapyards.

     

    Pictured top: The aftermath of the e-scooter explosion at Parsons Green on 1st November 2021.

     

  • Death By E-Scooter Hurtles Towards RBKC

    Death By E-Scooter Hurtles Towards RBKC

    As a 16-year-old dies after being hit on an e-scooter at 1.20am, inept Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea council shamefully big up the arrival of a rental scheme for them in the borough

    Whilst we illustrated the dangers of them when we shared a video clip of an e-scooter exploding earlier this month, this morning the MailOnline reported that a teenager was killed on one at 1.20am on Sunday morning.

     

    Whilst the 16-year-old boy’s family deserve condolences from us all after the 20-year-old drunk driver – who has since been arrested – disgracefully fled the scene of the hit-and-run in Southborough Lane, Bromley, one has to ask: “What was a child doing roaming the roads on one of these dangerous devices in the dark at 1.20am in the first place?”

     

    Elsewhere this weekend, the inept council that is the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea delivered a no doubt very costly, full-colour 8-page leaflet to residents. In it, they banged on about how “Kensington and Chelsea has become of the first boroughs in London where you can rent, ride and park e-scooters.”

     

    Shamelessly saluting operators Lime, Dott and TIER, the unnamed author of the article about these mobile deathtraps claimed “safety will be at the core of the trial with scooters only allowed on roads and cycleways, not pavements.”

     

    When The Steeple Times contacted RBKC’s environmental health team for their thoughts on Sunday’s death and whether this would affect their trial of such devices this morning, a hapless worker pathetically replied: “It’s above my pay grade to comment. I don’t know who I could put you through to I’m afraid.”

     

    Twickenham accident
    Last week in Twickenham, a 53-year-old man was left “shaking on the ground” in a “life-threatening” condition after falling off an e-scooter. ‘My London’ reported: “[He] was treated at the scene and taken to a major trauma centre as a priority.” Of the incident, a shop owner, Ibrahim Bozkurt, told the ‘Evening Standard’: “I have never seen anything like it… He was lying on the floor in shock, shaking, with his head covered in blood… Electric scooters are so dangerous. I don’t know how but there was zero damage to the car.”
    RBKC article
    The Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea council are well-known for wasting money on glossy ‘Our Borough’ magazines at the expense of actually helping residents. In the latest edition of their frankly tedious ‘rag’ they reported on e-scooter rental schemes coming to the area and previously in a 16-page edition, they banged on about a survey that had just a 0.32% response rate. Laughably, when contacted by ‘The Steeple Times’ at the time in July 2020, a representative from their media department laughably remarked: “The magazine goes to 92,000 households, but I’ve no idea what it costs to produce and I don’t know who I could ask who would know.”
    E-scooters, unless rented in areas where trials have begun, remain illegal on both pavements and roads. Privately owned examples of these deathtrap devices, at present, can only be used on private land in the United Kingdom.
    In January 2020, ‘The Steeple Times’ named and shamed a female e-scooter user who abused a pedestrian in Belgravia after she was asked to not use her dangerous mobile deathtrap on the pavement; in July 2019 we extensively reported on another horror, Ambar Zohra, hitting a pedestrian in Walton Street, SW3 and hurling the telephone of editor Matthew Steeples into the road when he tried to photograph her antics. Potty mouthed Miss Zohra “screamed abuse and profanities” but was called out by Jane Morris of legendary firm Percy Bass who remarked: “Where do you think you are from? The five floors of whores?”

  • Ban The E-Scooter in Britain

    Ban The E-Scooter in Britain

    Video of e-scooter turning into fireball illustrates why these dangerous death traps should be completely banned in Britain

    Shared by London cabbie feed @TaxiLeaks on Twitter with their 11,000 followers on Saturday, a video of an e-scooter’s battery smoking and then exploding provides proof yet again that these unregulated nuisance machines must not be allowed on Britain’s roads and pavements.

     

    In their 0:45-second video – accompanied by the caption: “This is the death trap device that Sadiq Khan, Heidi Alexander, Will Norman and TfL are promoting. This is what happens when the battery becomes faulty (apparently a common problem). I’m sure Heidi can explain being deputy Mayor for transport” – illustration was clearly provided of the dangers of these uninsured ‘mobile weapons.’

     

    Elsewhere on our pages previously, The Steeple Times have highlighted other examples of death and destruction caused by these still for the moment mostly illegally used devices. In July 2019, we reported on the case of Ambar Zohra, a foul-mouthed cretin who hit a pedestrian in London’s Walton Street on a pavement on her scooter, just days after another user was killed on such a device on a roundabout in Battersea.

     

    Whilst later, in July 2020, we commented on the government’s decision to trial rentable e-scooters after no doubt being bunged by operations such as the £1.6 billion valued American provider Bird, @TaxiLeaks’ video today again shows whilst it time the UK did to the contrary: It is time to make e-scooters illegal and to banish them from Britain.

     

    E-scooter accident
    Only last month, a man and woman suffered “serious injuries” after riding an e-scooter they were both on hit a VW Golf in Wolverhampton. At the time, the ‘Daily Mail’ remarked: “Evidence is mounting over their safety record, with critics suggesting they make it easier for criminals to whip people’s phones from their hands on the street and make a fast getaway. And in July 2019, TV presenter and YouTube influencer Emily Hartridge was killed while riding her e-scooter in Battersea, London. Hartridge, who was thrown from the scooter on a roundabout, is believed to be the first person to die in the UK in an accident involving an e-scooter. She was later ruled to have been riding too fast with an under-inflated tyre when she was tragically killed in a crash with a lorry. In the UK, two other people are now known to have died using them, while in the United States the number of e-scooter accidents that leave people needing hospital treatment has risen by more than 222 per cent in four years.”
    E-scooter accident
    Yesterday, in the ‘Daily Mail,’ Peter Hitchens wrote of his “near-miss with an idiot on an e-scooter.” He observed: “The point being that if e-scooters become legal, you can expect to see a lot of them careering along a pavement near you. There’s a strong chance that they will crash into you from behind, breaking one or more of your bones. This happened to a three-year-old child in Feltham a few weeks ago, and as far as I know the culprit has not been found. And, while that will itself still be against the law, nobody will do anything about it. For the same reason, they are the perfect tool for those drug couriers who are already swapping their pushbikes for them. Legal businesses such as fast-food delivery, which seem to employ some of the most ruthless people in the world, will also no doubt take advantage. We don’t actually need to find all this out. Cities all over Europe are licking their wounds after legalising e-scooters, especially Paris. Singapore last year more or less banned them after several injuries and fatal accidents, as well as fires in public housing blocks caused by faulty batteries… But Grant Shapps, the Transport Secretary, and the House of Commons Transport Select Committee both seem to have been beguiled by the e-scooter lobby, which appears to mesmerise its victims in much the way that a cobra is said to do.”