Wednesday, February 21, 2024
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Heroes & Heroines

Runners & Riders – The Cheltenham Festival 2023, Day 4, ‘Gold Cup Day’

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers options for ‘Gold Cup Day’ at the Cheltenham Festival 2023 including a 20/1 outsider owned by Sir Alex Ferguson and a 50/1 wildcard.

Capreolus Club Canned – A Salute To Jason Atherton For Banning Sick Goat Slayers

After a successful and swift campaign by ‘The Steeple Times,’ chef Jason Atherton is to be saluted for doing the right thing and banning the sickening goat slaying Capreolus Club from his premises; it is time these barbarians were banned full-stop.

A £3m Wagatha Win – Coleen Rooney Trounces Rebekah Vardy

Matthew Steeples suggests that cool-and-collected Coleen Rooney very much deserved her victory over the mendacious minx Rebekah Vardy; the lesson from the ‘Wagatha Christie’ case is not to take legal action when you know you’ve told porky pies.

Tangerines Triumph – Blackpool Beats Off Owen Oyston Woes

Just as Blackpool Football Club’s new 17-year-old star signing Jake Daniels is widely lauded after “coming out” as gay, controversial former owner Owen Oyston unsurprisingly fails in laughable £78 million claim against the receivers of the ‘Tangerine’ team.

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Gary Lineker OBE

In taking refugees into his own home, ex-footballer Gary Lineker not only puts his money where his mouth is, but also shows true compassion and decency.