The Steeple Times

Category: OBSERVERS

  • Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’)

    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’)

    More of a molehill than a mountain, UKIP’s dimwit “interim leader” (for a moment and thankfully hopefully not a moment longer) believes her party to be “anything but racist.”

     

    In a lorry wreck of an interview on Adam Boulton’s ‘All About Politics’ on Sky News on 2nd December 2019, this Brighton based berk and wannabe Kate Hopkins remarked of the impending General Election: “We don’t have any black candidates, but we’ve one maybe Indian sort. I’m not quite sure what he is.”

     

    Of Tommy Robinson, she added: “I thought you’d ask me about him… Tommy Robinson has associations with other racist parties… He’s knocking on Boris Johnson’s door” and of the PM himself, then concluded: “He’s just warmed-up Theresa May. He could have been microwaved.”

     

    Pat Mountain has also previously declared she’s into “shenanigans” and daytime telly, but about the only thing this Diane Abbott-like woman got right is her analysis of her electoral chances when she announced: “I won’t be entering 10 Downing Street anytime soon.”

     

    Pip Pip, Pat.

     

    Words of wisdom from ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’:

     

    “I’ve no idea what a constituency is… I don’t know any of our key targets either.”

     

    “A branch can be just two people. We can regroup. Jog on the Brexit Party and Nigel Farage.”

     

    “UKIP is brave… If we’re given the chance to govern, every British citizen would sleep easier.”

     

    “I joined UKIP because we’re not safe on our streets… I have friends who won’t go out after dark because someone might jump out of the shadows.”

     

    “I don’t believe in feminism and all that nonsense… But women have become the underclass.”

     

    “Be as brave as Gerrard Batten. We thank you for your bravery Gerrard. You have been so brave and you saved UKIP.”

     

    “I stand ready to sail the good ship UKIP into clear waters.”

     

    “I could talk at length, but I haven’t got much time left… I better not go on.”

     

    Pat Mountain truly made an utter prat of herself when interviewed by Adam Boulton.
    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’) – UKIP’s interim leader in December 2019, Pat Mountain is a Brighton based berk with no idea what a constituency is. She thinks Gerrard Batten “brave.”
    Pat Mountain definitely has a look of the character Nan from ‘The Catherine Tate Show.’
    Pat Moutain again proved herself to be utterly crackers in this address to a UKIP gathering.
    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’) – UKIP’s interim leader in December 2019, Pat Mountain is a Brighton based berk with no idea what a constituency is. She thinks Gerrard Batten “brave.”
    Pat Mountain had Twitter users in laughter after her interview.
    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’) – UKIP’s interim leader in December 2019, Pat Mountain is a Brighton based berk with no idea what a constituency is. She thinks Gerrard Batten “brave.”
    Pat Mountain attracked a lot of mockery on Twitter after her car crash telly box appearance.
    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’) – UKIP’s interim leader in December 2019, Pat Mountain is a Brighton based berk with no idea what a constituency is. She thinks Gerrard Batten “brave.”
    Pat Mountain was advised by Twitter users to steer clear of future interviews.
    Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’) – UKIP’s interim leader in December 2019, Pat Mountain is a Brighton based berk with no idea what a constituency is. She thinks Gerrard Batten “brave.”
    “Daft bat” was amongst the perfect summaries of Pat Mountain.
  • Mark McGowan (AKA The Artist Taxi Driver and Chunky Mark)

    Mark McGowan (AKA The Artist Taxi Driver and Chunky Mark)

    Whilst many a taxi driver no doubt gets bored whilst waiting between fares, Clapham born Mark McGowan decided to put his spare time to good use and turned himself into ‘The Artist Taxi Driver’ in 2010. This self-employed eccentric shares satirical videos attacking political parties and injustice with his 59,000 subscribers on YouTube on a daily basis and he never fails to rise to the occasion. He has 120,000 followers on Twitter, is an ex-football hooligan,an  ex-associate lecturer at the Chelsea College of Art and now sells his own works (painted on newspapers) online also. Refused entry to the Frieze Art Fair for five nights in 2010 for rightly daring to suggest it was elitist, “passionate ranter” McGowan champions the belief that “the role of art is to challenge.” He counts Frankie Boyle, George Galloway, John McDonnell and Ricky Tomlinson amongst those he’s interviewed in his taxi and was described in the Guardian in 2015 as producing “online polemics” that are “moving traffic.”

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8RiSvP9-mQ
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sATLUyTb9w
  • Robin Leach (1941 – 2018)

    Robin Leach (1941 – 2018)

    “With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach. Harrow High School educated, this one-time Daily Mail reporter moved to the US in 1963 with $145 in his pocket and after briefly becoming a shoe salesman founded a music publication named Go Magazine.

     

    After selling up “at considerable profit,” Leach worked for The National Star and CNN before coming up with Lifestyles in 1984. He attributed the show’s popularity to Jimmy Carter exiting the White House and boasted: “[It was] because the Reagans brought in an aura of wealth. Jimmy Carter was too ordinary. So, when Reagan came in, it was time for a show about wealth and success… Hear this: In the course of an hour, I deliver twice as much audio information and visual images as any other show on television. I’m fast and loud on purpose. I cram 10 pounds of caviar into an eight-pound pack.”

     

    “Sensational, not scandalous” in his approach, twice married, father of three Leach’s subjects numbered everyone from Celine Dion to Madonna and Adnan Khashoggi and Donald Trump. As a result this celebrant of wealth and capitalism became a millionaire and pretty famous himself and in 2007, in the Fergie song Glamorous featuring Ludacris, the latter rapped: “Lifestyles so rich and famous, Robin Leach’ll get jealous.” With his passing, most certainly, this much parodied “life of the party” has most definitely moved to the skies.

     

    Robin Leach (1941 – 2018) – “With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach.Robin Leach (1941 – 2018) – “With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach.Robin Leach (1941 – 2018) – “With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrZtqe_zrOw

     

  • David Bishop (AKA ‘Lord Biro’ and ‘Bus-pass Elvis’)

    David Bishop (AKA ‘Lord Biro’ and ‘Bus-pass Elvis’)

    Described by the BBC as “a serial fringe candidate,” Broxtowe, Nottingham born ‘Lord Biro’ attended the late paedophile Jimmy Savile’s funeral dressed as Elvis. He threw a 99p bunch of flowers into his grave as “a mark of respect.”

     

    A divorced painter and decorator, wacky David Bishop adopted his first moniker (‘Lord Byro’) in honour of Lord Byron and later replaced the ‘y’ with an ‘I’ to stand against everyone from Eric Pickles to Neil Hamilton and Robert Kilroy-Silk.

     

    An artist and poet also, Bishop primarily campaigns as the ‘Church of the Militant Elvis Party’ and has a website named GrumpyOldElvis.co.uk. His wacky policies have included:

     

    – Imprisoning Cherie Blair to prevent her talking about her sex life.

    – Placing CCTV in the bedroom of Nick Clegg.

    – Bono for Pope.

    – Going to Antarctica to shout at icebergs to “stop melting.”

    – Turning public schools into pound shops.

    – Introducing moats around houses.

    – Legalising and nationalising cannabis and calling it British Grass.

    – Free neutering for cats and Boris Johnson.

     

  • The Rt. Hon. Theresa Villiers MP (AKA ‘The Telegraph Crow’)

    The Rt. Hon. Theresa Villiers MP (AKA ‘The Telegraph Crow’)

    Aside from spending more time in television studios than working for the good of her constituents, this crow-like creature is a “hard Brexiteer” with a penchant for claiming expenses for a second home despite representing a North London constituency. Bombastic to her core and a one-time friend of the “arse grabber” Brian Coleman, Theresa Villiers has been described as “divorced, dogmatic and dreadful.” She has bizarrely used three word alliterative phrases at least 724 times in debates, is anti-fox hunting and staunchly pro-Israel.

     

  • Adam Marchment (AKA ‘Man on the Run’ and ‘The Marchment Man’)

    Adam Marchment (AKA ‘Man on the Run’ and ‘The Marchment Man’)

    Vile paedophile and rapist Adam Marchment is a scumbag with no remorse for the crimes he committed but one also of the belief that he is “getting ripped off” over the food he has to buy in jail. Sentenced to ten years in 2016 for attacks on a 14 and a 15 year old, this extra virgin olive loving jailbird wrote in prisoners’ magazine Inside Time in November 2017: “I’m really starting to get frustrated by Her Majesty’s Prison and Probation Service… Prisoners have access to the outside world and will question the utter rubbish they try to feed us.” Let this tattooed monster – who named himself ‘Man on the Run’ whilst breaching his license conditions for over 37 days in October 2014 – eat porridge!

     

     

  • Lotti Henley (born Princess Windisch-Graetz of Austria)

    Lotti Henley (born Princess Windisch-Graetz of Austria)

    In spite of being born in 1925 in a castle in Austria, West London based mother of two Lotti Henley spends days feeding the homeless and destitute. Enthusiastic and dedicated to “caring for food,” this nonagenarian community heroin co-founded the Plan Zheroes charity in 2011 as part of her “vision of a world where no one will be living in food poverty.” A refugee and nurse herself in the Second World War, Henley was forced to suck stones to trick her stomach into thinking it was full and now her motto is: “Too blessed to be stressed and it’s true… I’ve never forgotten hunger… Do not waste food, pass it on to a charity geographically close… It doesn’t take an awful lot and it’s awfully fun… 39% of all in landfill is food and it’s all good food.” A truly wonderful lady working for a sadly ridiculously necessary cause.

  • Anne Marie Waters

    Anne Marie Waters

    The “Donald Trump of the UK” (without the power) according to her fans but just a “piss poor Nazi bigot” according to others, Anne Marie Waters failed to become leader of UKIP in September 2017. Born in Dublin, educated at Nottingham Trent University and a lesbian, Waters condemned her loss as “Jihadi – 1, Truth – 0” and went on to form a joke of a new party named For Britain in October 2017. A former Labour candidate also, this immigrant hater surprisingly has 65,000 followers on Twitter and repeatedly makes claims such as “Islam is evil” and: “The law will be used to silence anyone with a semi-right opinion.” She especially hates the Pope and Somali refugees. What a delight!

     

  • Benjamin Lipari

    Benjamin Lipari

    East London based Benjamin Lipari was born in Italy, grew up in Australia and is described as a “digital comms guru.” Aside from working in marketing for a bank, he has 16,500 followers on Instagram, loves jazz and cocktails and blogs about menswear and travel.

     

    Benjamin Lipari – East London based menswear and travel blogger Benjamin Lipari was born in Italy, grew up in Australia and is described as a “digital comms guru.” He has 16,500 followers on Instagram.

  • Leanne Ratcliffe (AKA ‘Freelee the Banana Girl’)

    Leanne Ratcliffe (AKA ‘Freelee the Banana Girl’)

    A somewhat loopy YouTube ‘star’, Australian Leanne Ratcliffe moved from promoting veganism to “living sustainably” in February 2017. Known for what she terms “call out” videos – in which she controversially mocks others on their diet and lifestyle habits – Ratcliffe shares such information as how she has just one pair of socks and five sets of underwear and publishes eBooks with titles such as Go Fruit Yourself. She has 40,000 followers on Twitter and claims to be “saving the planet, one banana at a time.” Okay…