Saturday, September 18, 2021

OBSERVERS

Robert Oxley (AKA Rob Oxley)

Former Deliveroo boy Robert Oxley can be considered the rudest man of the 2019 General Election campaign. Previously the press officer of the Vote Leave campaign and an assistant of the alleged groper Sir...

Pat Mountain (AKA ‘Pat The Prized Pillock’ and ‘Someone’s Nan’)

More of a molehill than a mountain, UKIP’s dimwit “interim leader” (for a moment and thankfully hopefully not a moment longer) believes her party to be “anything but racist.”   In a lorry wreck of an...

Mark McGowan (AKA The Artist Taxi Driver and Chunky Mark)

Whilst many a taxi driver no doubt gets bored whilst waiting between fares, Clapham born Mark McGowan decided to put his spare time to good use and turned himself into ‘The Artist Taxi Driver’...

Robin Leach (1941 – 2018)

“With champagne wishes and caviar dreams” was the famous signoff of London born Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach. Harrow High School educated, this one-time Daily Mail reporter moved to the...

David Bishop (AKA ‘Lord Biro’ and ‘Bus-pass Elvis’)

Described by the BBC as “a serial fringe candidate,” Broxtowe, Nottingham born ‘Lord Biro’ attended the late paedophile Jimmy Savile’s funeral dressed as Elvis. He threw a 99p bunch of flowers into his grave...

The Rt. Hon. Theresa Villiers MP (AKA ‘The Telegraph Crow’)

Aside from spending more time in television studios than working for the good of her constituents, this crow-like creature is a “hard Brexiteer” with a penchant for claiming expenses for a second home despite...

Adam Marchment (AKA ‘Man on the Run’ and ‘The Marchment Man’)

Vile paedophile and rapist Adam Marchment is a scumbag with no remorse for the crimes he committed but one also of the belief that he is “getting ripped off” over the food he has...

Lotti Henley (born Princess Windisch-Graetz of Austria)

In spite of being born in 1925 in a castle in Austria, West London based mother of two Lotti Henley spends days feeding the homeless and destitute. Enthusiastic and dedicated to “caring for food,”...

Anne Marie Waters

The “Donald Trump of the UK” (without the power) according to her fans but just a “piss poor Nazi bigot” according to others, Anne Marie Waters failed to become leader of UKIP in September...

Benjamin Lipari

East London based Benjamin Lipari was born in Italy, grew up in Australia and is described as a “digital comms guru.” Aside from working in marketing for a bank, he has 16,500 followers on...

Leanne Ratcliffe (AKA ‘Freelee the Banana Girl’)

A somewhat loopy YouTube ‘star’, Australian Leanne Ratcliffe moved from promoting veganism to “living sustainably” in February 2017. Known for what she terms “call out” videos – in which she controversially mocks others on...

Sharon Hodgson MP

Despite being Shadow Minister for Public Health and claiming to be a campaigner to improve children’s diets, Labour’s ‘jolly giant’ Sharon Hodgson is a big fan of kebabs. This Geordie ex-payroll clerk once claimed...

Isaac Hindin-Miller

“Dapper Dan” and “quasi New Yorker” Isaac Hindin-Miller established his online presence “at the very beginning of the blogging boom” in 2008. A “shameless self-promoter”, New Zealand born Hindin-Miller offers “relationship advice for anybody...

Margaret Burke

The Tories may have a former member of the IRA as a councillor in Croydon in the form of Maria Gatland, but Labour proudly feature a convicted racist jailbird and hunt saboteur on one...

Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told...

Nick Harrington

Racist Tory councillor Nick Harrington tweeted: “You can keep your f***ing gypsies” after Ireland gave Britain ‘nul points’ in the 2017 Eurovision Song Contest. The bigot, magistrate and director of Ambay Software Ltd. then...

Jack Schlossberg (AKA John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg)

New York born, Yale educated Jack Schlossberg is the only grandson of JFK. The son of designer and artist Ed Schlossberg and former Ambassador to Japan Caroline Kennedy, Schlossberg co-founded ReLight New York, a...

Michael Heaver

The co-owner of the right-wing Westmonster website terms his ethnicity “milk bottle white” and claims there are “tons of burkas” on the streets of East London. Naturally a fan of Marine Le Pen and...

Stephen Miller

“Insufferable liar” Stephen Miller hails from a “liberal-leaning Jewish family” from Santa Monica, California but became right-of-right after reading a book by the CEO of that National Rifle Association, Wayne LaPierre. He was born...

Betsy DeVos (née Elisabeth Prince)

Appointed Secretary of Education by 45th President of United States of America Donald Trump, mother of four Betsy DeVos has no degree, no teaching experience, never attended university and believes in only Christian-based education....

Chen Si (陳思)

Made famous in the film Angel of Nanjing, Chen Si has saved over 300 lives at the world’s most popular suicide spot, the Yangtze River Bridge in Nanjing, China, since 2003. This kindly gent...

Livia Firth (born and also known as Livia Giuggioli)

In May 2016, Livia Firth daftly announced: “I celebrated reaching 30,000 followers on Instagram… I bought confetti”. The wife of the actor and a mother of two, self-described “Queen of the Green Carpet” Firth...

Chris Bryant MP

Known primarily for posing in his underpants on a gay dating site and for the utterly ridiculous assessment that Delilah is a song about the murder of a prostitute, Chris Bryant is one of...

Todd Plummer

A stylish and sophisticated fashion journalist and lawyer-in-training, man-about-town Todd Plummer grew up in New England and is based in Manhattan. He has over 3,000 followers on Twitter, shares photographs of running and cocktails on...

Dorian Grinspan

Editor-in-Chief of Out of Order magazine Dorian Grinspan is based in Manhattan. Born in Paris and educated at Yale, this super-connected son of a prominent mergers-and-acquisitions lawyer is the godson of Numéro magazine founder Babeth...

Donal Skehan

Dublin born Donal Skehan morphed from being part of a boyband to being recognised as one of the most popular food bloggers after being endorsed by Nigella Lawson and Jamie Oliver in January 2016....

The Rt. Hon. The Lord Ashdown GCMG, CH, KBE, PC (better known as Paddy Ashdown)

Fern Briton described him as: “The greatest Prime Minister this country never had” in December 2015 and though he’ll be forever remembered for the unfortunate moniker “Paddy Pantsdown”, Lord Ashdown truly ought to be...

Janan Ganesh

Journalist, author and political commentator Janan Ganesh is a regular on Andrew Neil’s Sunday Politics. He is the author of George Osborne: The Austerity Chancellor, a graduate of Warwick University and UCL and worked...

Tanya Burr

Born Norwich in 1989, beauty and fashion blogger and vlogger Tanya Burr has made a small fortune from her craft. Listed as one of the ‘100 Most Connected Women’ of 2014 by GQ, Burr...

Baroness Pidding CBE (AKA, “The Bet Lynch Baroness”, born Emma Pidding)

Solihull born and a former bank clerk, big-haired Baroness Pidding became engulfed in the ‘Tatler Tory’ scandal in November 2015. Described by Lord Ashcroft as the sort “not afraid to get her hands dirty”...

Michael Musto

Responsible for coining the word celebutard (a combination of celebrity, debutante and retard) to describe Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, Michael Musto is a New York based author and journalist. He has over 15,000...

Ella Woodward

The daughter of the turncoat Tory turned Labour transplant Shaun Woodward and his Sainsbury’s heiress wife, Ella Woodward’s blog, Deliciously Ella, has become a firm favourite of foodies everywhere.The author of the fastest-selling debut...

Diane Sawyer (born Lila Diane Sawyer)

A former member of President Nixon’s White House staff turned acclaimed television journalist, Diane Sawyer was born in Glasgow, Kentucky. She frequently appears on the Forbes list of “The World's 100 Most Powerful Women” and...

Dr Lisa Mckenzie (AKA “Red Lisa”)

This flame haired academic and “rebel ethnographer” is obsessed with what she calls the “Precariat” or what – in layman’s terms – might be described as “those at the bottom of the class structure”. A...

Ingrid Seward (married name: Ingrid Benson, AKA “Ingie”)

This London based lowbrow hack spouts sewage and tittle-tattle about the Royal family on a regular basis and pompously goes as far as to define herself as a “Royal expert” on Twitter. A former...

Pastor Farris Wilks

A Texan bricklayer turned billionaire, Pastor Farris Wilks grew up in a goat shed but now owns an airport and his own aircraft. Firmly anti-gay marriage and often described as a “dirt farmer”, Wilks...

Selina Scott

Yorkshire based broadcaster turned farmer and cashmere and mohair retailer Selina Scott once declared she’d “like to steal Donald Trump’s hairpiece and bury it in the sand dunes of Aberdeenshire”. In August 2015, she...

Greta van Susteren

Listed as the 99th most powerful woman in the world by Forbes, Washington based news anchor and commentator Greta van Susteren is married to a self-described “ambulance chaser” and is a member of the...

Suzanne Congdon LeRoy

Despite being the daughter of a woman suspected to have murdered her wealthy adopted mother and nurse in 1977 in Duluth, Minnesota, author Suzanne Congdon LeRoy has turned her life to good. In Nightingale:...

Constance Briscoe

The author of Ugly and Beyond Ugly, Clapham based Constance Briscoe is nothing but a shameless disgrace. A former barrister and judge, cosmetic surgery loving Briscoe was jailed for perverting the course of justice...

Tom O’Carroll

A chilling and sick dual Irish-British citizen, Tom O’Carroll is a blogger and activist for paedophilia advocacy. A convicted distributor of child pornography and a former chairman of the Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE), this...

The Rt. Hon. Harriet Harman QC, MP

A Labour Member of Parliament since 1982, Harriet Harman has repeatedly failed to apologise for the links between the National Council for Civil Liberties (NCCL), an organisation she worked for between 1978 and 1982,...

Ashley Mote

Having claimed that “five years in the EU lunatic asylum showed me that EU corruption was truly out of control”, former UKIP MEP and immigrant hater Ashley Mote was jailed for five years in...

Victoria Borwick MP (AKA “VB” and “Lady Borwick”, née Victoria Poore)

Flame-headed and a mother of four, Victoria Borwick became Conservative Member of Parliament for Kensington in May 2015. A former event organiser, Borwick has been described as looking like Anne Robinson and as “a...

Harry Cole

A former associate of Guido Fawkes’ Paul Staines, Harry Cole became The Sun’s Westminster correspondent in June 2015. This tenacious journalist has over 42,000 followers on Twitter and was voted the 28th most influential man...

Leandra Medine (AKA “The Man Repeller”)

New York based fashion blogger Leandra Medine claims she “may have been Ernest Hemingway in my last life, or Prince” on her personal Twitter handle and has over 260,000 followers for her Man Repeller...

Diane Abbott MP

The Steeple Times is honoured to be blocked on Twitter by this hypocritical loudmouthed Labour Member of Parliament. A woman afraid of reasoned debate, Hackney based Diane Abbott is the worst kind of socialist...

Emily Clarkson

The feminist daughter of the television icon Jeremy Clarkson is the antithesis of negativity and Katie Hopkins. Emily Clarkson was described as having “inherited her father’s gumption, fearlessness and sense of humour” by the...