Category: MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society.

A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

Enzina Fuschini – What’s on your mantelpiece?

A 20-question interview with artist, ceramicist and designer Enzina Fuschini

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

God. I am a Christian and I believe in what is good and honourable.

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

To forgive and forget.

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

A lack of support for mental health.

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

Human justice and my childhood home.

What might you swap all your wealth for?

One more day with my mother and grandmother. Both have sadly passed away.

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

It is a disaster. The financial target is to control and depopulate humanity. The rich want to get rich at any cost and they want to create an elite race.

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

I loathe swearing in any context.

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

I support charities associated with my faith and congregation at Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB), Knightsbridge.

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

Mobile phones are useful but people are addicted and these devices cause them to become anti-social.

Enzina Fuschini exhibited at the 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, London, SW10 in June 2017

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

People not fortunate enough to be able to afford this experience that work hard and would deserve it.

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

I wouldn’t want to eat anything as I would be too scared about death.

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

At lunchtime with friends.

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A dry martini.

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Those given by family and friends that celebrate the achievements of life.

Who is the most positive person you know?

My daughters are the most positive people I know.

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Apple tarts. The best one I’ve ever had was at The Botanist on Sloane Square.

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

A tattoo could not sum me up as I do not like them.

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

A Jaguar.

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

When you get to know me, you will know. I’m not giving away my secrets.

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

An antique mirror and a vase of white roses.

Enzina Fuschini is a London based artist, ceramicist and designer. She was born in Matierno, Italy and aside from exhibiting internationally, has also produced luxury collections for and to be sold by amongst others The Dorchester, Harrods and Sunseeker Yachts. Her style has drawn comparisons with the ‘wit’ of Picasso and the vitality of Kandinsky, Klee and Miro.

Follow Enzina Fuschini on Twitter at @FuschiniEnzina.

June 19, 2017
Moron of the Moment – Andre Walker

Braggart bigot Andre Walker disgraces himself in the wake of the London attacks and is rightly roasted on Twitter

Andre Walker – a “fat, northern… bit of a bruiser” with a penchant for branding The Steeple Times “fake news” – loves attention. He doesn’t care how he gets it, doesn’t care about what offence he causes and aside from wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap to a rally against the 45^th POTUS earlier this year, this total pillock decided yesterday to share an image on Twitter of himself waving a cutlass sword on the terrace of the Palace of Westminster in the wake of the latest terror attack in London. It was accompanied by a provocative caption that read: “A bounty on my head. Any #ISIS terrorist that kills me gets £50k. I’ll give my address. No police. But I’ve got a sword. Good luck”.

‘Whackjob Walker’ – a former “political staffer” turned employee of the far-right Breitbart News rant sheet and more recently Jared Kushner’s New York based Observer – naturally wrote about why he opted to share the image in a column provocatively titled: “Today I Offered the Islamic State £50,000 to Kill Me”. Being, and here I won’t mince my words, a complete cock, he then delighted in the controversy he caused and remarked: “I love this” and “I’m up for it”.

Despite being forced to remove the highly insensitive image, which was rightly branded a “bizarre stunt” by the MailOnline, last week’s The Steeple Times ‘Wally of the Week’ Walker – whose previous moments of note have included being caught ranting on trains and involvement in the bullying scandal that resulted in the suicide of his supposed boyfriend, Elliott Johnson – remains unrepentant. On Sunday night, he bleated: “I don’t get why the left hate me for hating terrorists”.

A selection of responses from Twitter users to this Grade A buffoon’s idiocy follow:

June 5, 2017
Annabel Mullin – What’s on your mantelpiece?

A 20-question interview with criminal justice expert, former police officer and Liberal Democrat candidate for Kensington Annabel Mullin

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

To live every moment to the fullest and make the biggest difference to people’s lives that I can.

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

I love the motto ‘carpe diem’ (seize the day). When I was younger, Dead Poets Society was one of my favourite films.

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

Brexit.

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

Currently I’m missing not seeing my children much because I am campaigning so hard.

What might you swap all your wealth for?

Knowing that my children will have a great future.

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

One of the things I would like to see in Kensington is more support for small businesses and local shop owners that help to create our community. We are currently facing threats to our local services from business rates and that is something that needs to be addressed.

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

I loathe it when people say things they don’t mean. ‘Strong and Stable’ is currently high up there.

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

I agree. I support that concept. Having worked at Crisis, I continue to support homeless charities. I also love shopping in our fabulous Kensington charity shops.

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

Mobiles are amazingly useful and I’m a bit of an addict to my device. However, there is a time and a place for them.

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

George Orwell, Harriet Harmen, Lawrence of Arabia, Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill, Sophie in’t Veld, Hercule Poirot, Hilary Clinton, Charlie Chaplin, Shirley Williams, Paula Radcliffe, Prince and Laura Kuenssberg.

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

My meal would be steak, chips and red wine followed by tiramisu. I’d rather like to eat it high up in Petra overlooking the wondrous landscape.

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

That depends entirely on which time zone you are going by.

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A martini, preferably an espresso martini.

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Now, dinner parties with close friends but when I was younger, more partying.

Who is the most positive person you know?

My husband.

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

The ‘Archers Appreciation’ group on Facebook… With wine.

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

A dragon.

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

A Mercedes-Benz Gullwing.

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

That I was an ultra-marathon runner and completed the Marathon Des Sables in 2008.

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

An elephant – the house is littered with them, candlesticks and birthday cards for my eldest’ fifth birthday.

Annabel Mullin was born and brought up in Kensington and Chelsea. She is mother of three young children, a keen environmentalist and a cyclist. She is a criminal justice expert and has spent most of her life working in London as an analyst, a Metropolitan Police officer in Soho and Mayfair and as an assistant psychologist with prisoners with mental illness. Recently she has worked as a PhD researcher at UCL.

Follow her on Twitter at @annabelmullin and @KCLibDems.

June 1, 2017
Wally of the Week – Andre Walker

Whackjob former Tory activist turned Jared Kushner employed ‘journalist’ Andre Walker tells ‘The Steeple Times’: “In the words of Trump: ‘You are fake news’” (and then blocks us)

Andre Walker is of the Donald Trump school when it comes to dealing with situations he doesn’t like: This former Tory bullyboy turned Breitbart braggart and Jared Kushner employed Observer “lobby correspondent” thrashes around, shouts loudly and then throws his toys out of the pram.

On Tuesday, after being asked a series of questions about his role in the Conservative Party’s 2015 battlebus scandal via Twitter over a number of weeks, self-confessed “fat, northern… bit of a bruiser” Walker sent The Steeple Times a final tweet and then blocked us. It read:

“I have never run any bus of any description ever. In the words of Trump, ‘you are fake news’”.

Far-right provocateur Walker – whose career highlights have included being forced to resign as a political aide after being exposed smearing colleagues in 2010 and for his connections with the ‘Tatler Tory’ Mark Clarke and events that culminated in the suicide of another activist named Elliott Johnson in 2015 – then charmingly justified his move to his 78,000 followers:

“I’ve only ever blocked one person on Twitter but it’s got to be two now”.

We’re honoured.

Pictured above: Andre Walker (top circle) with his especially pleasant chum, Mark ‘Tatler Tory’ Clarke, below.

May 30, 2017
Shifty & Shiftier

In posing for pictures with ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green in Cannes, Sarah, Duchess of York showed herself to be nothing but shameless

Sarah, Duchess of York is one of those people who has no need for money given she’s always close to it. Yesterday, however, at the 70^th Cannes Film Festival, this avaricious former royal took her love for wealth to a new level when she and her daughter, Princess Beatrice, posed for photos with the nauseatingly repugnant businessman Sir Philip Green (AKA ‘Sir Shifty’).

Famed for her lack of judgement and friendships with the likes of the convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, yesterday ‘Simple Sarah’ showed herself for what she truly is: Embarrassed by nothing and shameless enough to stick two fingers up to ordinary folk.

#ShameOnSarah

May 22, 2017
Wally of the Week – Anthea Turner

‘Shagger Turner’ sinks to a new low; ‘Princess Tippytoes’ Anthea Turner again illustrates her desperation for attention

Whilst she was married to Grant Bovey, a restaurant owner and ‘friend’ of Anthea Turner used to mockingly remark: “Here comes ‘f**k, I want to be famous’ and here comes ‘f**k, I used to be famous’” each and every time this dreadful duo appeared. Now, however, that the recently divorced former ‘star’ has sunk to a new low, we just had to make her our Wally of the Week.

In comments to The Sun, ‘Princess Tippytoes’ or “the woman who put the ug! in smug” – as Jan Moir termed her in 2012 – remarked: “Women in their 50s still love a shag. I do. My stepdaughters would be horrified at the thought that I still get my tits out to people”.

One is left with only one response: “Anthea: Is there anything else you want to share?”

Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey humiliated themselves being photographed devouring Cadbury’s Snowflake chocolate bars at their wedding in 2000

Miss Turner now “survives divorce” by buying ‘wings’

And she poses for photos with cardboard cut-outs of her very own person

May 19, 2017
Louise Rowntree – What’s on your mantelpiece?

A 20-question interview with public affairs and communications consultant and Liberal Democrat candidate for Chelsea & Fulham Louise Rowntree

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

You’re not living unless you take risks.

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

Theresa May.

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

Time to ‘mong’.

What might you swap all your wealth for?

Being the fastest swimmer in the world.

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

It was going quite well in Britain until Brexit.

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

“How are you?” instead of “hello”.

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

With three children, a small business and the General Election, I am conscious that I don’t do enough to help out in the local community currently. Locally, I’m ambassador for the Fulham Cricket Club – which gives free cricket training to children whose parents wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford it, and has linked up with a number of charities including Hammersmith & Fulham Refugees Welcome. More generally, I donate (a modest sum) to Save the Children each month.

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

My late father always said: “You can tell who’s important. They’re the ones without a phone”. When on a train take calls in the corridor, try to avoid taking them when with others but – if you must – ask permission first. Never put your phone on a table if with others.

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

Vincent Cassel, Nancy Wake (‘The White Mouse’), Ian Hislop, Michelle Obama, Mick Jagger, Amy Schumer, Guillaume Canet, Diana Ross, Jimmy Fallon and the entire cast of Saturday Night Live.

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

Chinese dim sum, on a boat on the River Thames going through Chelsea and Fulham.

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

Any time, as long the occasion fits and you can handle your drink.

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A Negroni, but in a glass, not from the bottle.

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Ours: Because my husband DJ’s and we always have to threaten to call the police at 4am.

Who is the most positive person you know?

Jessica Arora: Fashion guru, co-founder of NotSuchAModelMum and a good friend.

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Eating a whole box of salt and vinegar Pringles whilst drinking wine in bed and watching American TV series’.

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

A rowan tree: I’m a descendant of Vikings who invaded York over a thousand years ago and took their name from the local rowan tree – which morphed into ‘Rowntree’: Rooted, earth, strong, proud – it sums up both my Yorkshire ancestors and me.

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

A Lada: Old fashioned, rare, traditional and scrubs up surprisingly well with a bit of polish.

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

I was taught how to fight at the age of five, but thankfully have only once had to.

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

A Mappin & Webb clock my late father was given when he retired from the bank he ran, a couple of Delft vases from a Belgian flee market, a Limoges egg which belonged to my late grandmother, and my son’s Grade 2 Music Theory certificate.

Louise Rowntree is a lawyer-turned-public affairs and communications consultant who grew up in Chelsea and lives in Fulham. She is married to Raphael, a Belgian lawyer, has three sons and is standing as the Liberal Democrat for Chelsea & Fulham in the 2017 General Election.

Louise worked for several years in Brussels – where she ran Hill & Knowlton’s Trade & Competition department. In 2012 she founded her own, niche, consultancy Rowntree & Associates and moved back to London soon after. She has personally advised heads of state, ambassadors, ministers, multinationals, NGOs and law firms.

Follow her on Twitter at @louise_rowntree.

Photograph by Micki Scupin Rogers.

May 14, 2017
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’

As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?”

Last May, the acerbic Spectator columnist Taki wrote a brilliant opinion piece bemoaning the ghastly affair he believed New York’s Metropolitan Museum Gala had become. It perfectly summed up the vulgarity of an age where Kardashians have replaced Vanderbilt Sloanes and where Anna Wintour and her condescending ‘club’ have seized the mantle. This week, Primates of Park Avenue author Wednesday Martin took the debate one stage further and asked: “Is it time to say bye-bye to the black tie charity ball?” in an article for Town & Country magazine.

Whilst Martin quoted a “titan of finance” as saying: “No one really wants to attend a gala”, she also suggested that “showing up feels somehow retro, tangible, genuine”. Society is still forced into the routine of putting on black tie and parading out in both America and Britain yet in reality, everyone would most likely rather be down their local spit-and-sawdust.

Aside from the rubber chicken (and vomit inducing wine), the likelihood of being stuck with nine crushing bores and the inevitable raffle of rubbish, such affairs are now mostly the preserve of a club of Z-listers and desperados. At such gatherings, you’ll find trolleyed trailer trash like Dawn Ward of The Real Housewives of Cheshire clucking with titleless tosspot twits like David Furnish and each and every Friday’s ES Magazine bears testimony to this fact. The black tie bash deserves to come to its natural end, but what on earth will replace it?

The inevitable rent-a-crowd that now dominates at black tie gatherings in Britain these days is focused on daytime TV presenters and obscure reality wannabes

Tamara Ecclestone and husband Jay Rutland (pictured with Donna Air behind them) might be moneyed, but where’s the class?

Stephen Fry and husband Elliott Spencer are a duo willing to turn up to the opening of an envelope

If you really want to lower the tone, invite champagne swiller Dawn Ward and her ex-footballer husband

Alexa Chung is the ultimate guest if you want to make it to the ‘ES Magazine’s’ party pages (in spite of the fact she’s actually pretty pointless)

No party is complete without legendary crasher and shopping aficionado David Pun; last night he was spotted lingering outside the entrance to the opening night of the 2017 London Motor Show and given his antics he even has a Twitter account named in his honour

Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey used to host an annual ball in their garden; their marriage is now toast and the ball, for them at least, is most definitely over

May 5, 2017
The Commerce of Selfies

A review of the showcase of vanity that is the Saatchi Gallery’s ‘Selfie to Self-Expression’ exhibition

The first ever ‘selfie’ was supposedly taken on the roof of the Marceau studio on Fifth Avenue in New York. Featuring a photographer named Joseph Byron and his colleagues, the image was captured in December 1920 and now, an exhibition at London’s Saatchi Gallery examines the story of what has become a modern day social phenomenon.

The first ever selfie

Aside from images of Hillary Clinton during the 2016 American election and lookalikes of the British royal family by Alison Jackson, this exhibition – sponsored rather appropriately by a mobile phone manufacturer plainly desperate to get its product into the public eye in England named Huawei – features everything from selfies taken with selfie sticks to selfies taken underwater. It is an array of ridiculousness and most definitely a display of extreme vanity that is present here, but with opportunities for visitors to participate, it is also something that anyone except a true killjoy will have a little fun with.

The word ‘selfie’ was announced as the Oxford English Dictionary “word of the year” in 2013 and subsequently, Business Insider, published a story that referenced selfies of groups as “usies”. Huawei Technologies, it transpires, trademarked the word “groufie” around the same time and thus it’s no wonder they managed to cut a deal with the ever-so-commercial Charles Saatchi.

‘Selfie to Self-Expression’ is on display at the Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York’s Headquarters, Kings Road, London, SW3 4RY until 30^th May. The exhibition is free and open seven days a week, 10am to 6pm.

#SaatchiSelfie

May 4, 2017
Jack Turner – What’s on your mantelpiece?

A 20-question interview with English born, Los Angeles based actor and musician Jack Turner

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

Treat people well. Try and learn your blind spots.

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

Be nice, but don’t get shat on.

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

Everything seems to be acceptable. People are being absolutely despicable because of messaging they see from those in power. Perhaps the only unacceptable thing is calm and clear discourse.

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

My family and Weymouth Beach.

What might you swap all your wealth for?

Everyone having some.

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

That, and the political system (similar principles), make me most unhappy to be an atheist.

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

“Reach out”. The word I maybe most love is “tosspot”.

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

I think there’s a threshold of financial and social safety below which there is no hope to ascend, and that people below that threshold need help. What we have in the UK and US would be considered a ludicrous luxury in many places. I personally just donated a pretty solid sum to Syria and Somalia.

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

I wish my phone would blow me up. These devices are ruining people’s presence, empathy, and ability to talk. I just read a great summary of the evidence linking socialization and our neurobiology. When you consider socialisation is being replaced by phones, I fear sociopathy will rise massively. Put the fucking phone away, or on silent if you just can’t be without it, you tosspot.

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

People without phones, who can like each other even if they disagree. I pick my girlfriend and my mate Monte. Anyone else is welcome. That should ignite some fun.

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

Curry from Mirch Masala in Tooting, and bitter. Followed by red velvet cake and some Law Estates Cab.

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

Not so much a case of “Is this acceptable?” as: “Will my body reject this now?”

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

I don’t know what a Negroni is. Martinis are frightening. So I’ll go for some tea, please.

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Those I curate carefully to avoid tosspots. Because I loathe tosspots.

Who is the most positive person you know?

My girlfriend. I’m lucky enough that this is a pretty competitive decision, but she takes the cake.

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Aforementioned red velvet cake. And guitars.

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

I don’t like tattoos, which I think sums me up.

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

Public transport or a bicycle. I now realise both sound dirty.

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

To my shame I didn’t know what an incredible singer she was. I thought she was just a host. That surprised me. I’m a terrible singer. Which maybe makes it surprising that I was in a great band and continue to make music. Check out our old stuff if you’re interested – Cable Car on Spotify, iTunes, etc.

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

Our place isn’t fancy enough to have a mantlepiece. However, we do have a cupboard, upon which we put meaningful things. My mum potted me an Oscar statue, which we call ‘Oscar’. Probably unoriginal, but, I think it’s very sweet, and I’ll take what I can get.

Jack Turner grew up in Weymouth, Dorset, where he was a dubiously-skilled mackerel fishing tour guide. He studied psychology at Oxford before working for Google in London and San Francisco. He’s now an actor in Hollywood and has starred in Netflix’s ‘The 10 Year Plan’ and Hallmark’s ‘My Summer Prince’.

Follow him on Twitter at @jackoturner and Instagram at @jaxonturner.

May 4, 2017