The Steeple Times

Category: MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society.

A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

  • United in Plastic

    United in Plastic

    ‘Bride of Wildenstein’ Jocelyn Wildenstein reunites with her lover Lloyd Klein; the plastic faced couple will marry at some point in the future

     

    Yesterday, the world’s ugliest woman announced she is to marry the world’s vainest man in an exclusive feature in the DailyMail.com.

     

    According to the paper, Jocelyn Wildenstein – a New York based billionairess by divorce commonly known as the ‘Bride of Wildenstein’ and ‘Catwoman’ due to her hideous feline-like face – will not actually marry her on-off fashion designer boyfriend, Lloyd Klein, until next year and also revealed: “You never know if you’re ready for a relationship.”

     

    In the frankly ghastly interview with someone named Ben Ashford, Klein – whose startled looks also are also no doubt the result of a few visits to surgeons and scalpels – declared he himself designed the multi-million dollar 32-carat diamond ring he gave to Wildenstein and revealed he gave it to her at the Miami home where Gianni Versace was murdered on the twentieth anniversary of his death last month. He commented: “I said: ‘Jocelyn this was the day Versace died and this the day we will live.’”

     

    Pictured above: Jocelyn Wildenstein looking her normal scary self and Lloyd Klein after he had his now fiancée’s fingers dug into his skin.

     

  • Done With Diana

    Done With Diana

    Enough is finally enough with press coverage about the late Diana, Princess of Wales

     

    Diana, Princess of Wales has been dead twenty years. It is thus ludicrous that her family continue to have to put up with an endless barrage of articles raking over outdated nonsense about her and though it most definitely suits our government as they can bury yet more bad news about Brexit, the media truly should realise that enough is finally enough.


    Whether the late royal said or did one thing or another is quite irrelevant to anyone alive today and though the history books may take note for the future, daily news reporting should move its focus to issues that actually affect our daily lives. The time to stop over-reporting on this saga passed surely in 2007; that it is still going in 2017 is simply outrageous.

     

  • Dr No More

    Gatecrasher ‘Dr Nastro’ admits defeat and announces he’ll be retiring from the ligging circuit; perhaps Denis Doble, David Pun and Sandra Shevey ought to follow his lead

     

    On Wednesday, we received a message from a known member of London’s ligging community of aging oddballs using the pseudonym ‘Dr Nastro’.

     

    In an email to our main editorial email address and sent from a Yahoo account, this gatecrasher accused Matthew Steeples of effectively being responsible for his being “banned from venues” and suggested that one of the worst of his very own number “had me thrown out of a place. ” also. He added a link to an article on a website named ‘Stop Wine Liggers’ and rather pathetically concluded: “I will not be going to events any more.”

     

    By return, Matthew Steeples responded:

     

    “I have nothing to do with the website you have linked to – I am busy enough with my own work – but have responded to the comments there. If they decide to publish, you will see my thoughts.”

     

    “I do believe the behaviour of the ligging community is unacceptable. You and your friends do not add to events, they subtract and they are a nuisance to organisers. Some of your number are thieves and others are just racist bigots. Plainly, you have offended the person behind the site you mention but what I cannot understand is why you are surprised.”

     

    “As for giving up going, it is probably the wisest decision you’ve made given the chaos you’ve caused previously. Enjoy your retirement.”

     

    In reply, ‘Dr Nastro’ immediately answered: “I just did it for fun the rest are not [sic].”

     

    Image taken from ‘Stop Wine Liggers’ website.

     

  • Limited in Knightsbridge

    Limited in Knightsbridge

    As Arabs descend on London with their eccentric convoys of cars, we select a new arrival; such things delight some and infuriate others

     

    The time of year is upon Knightsbridge when Arabs and their supercars descend. Amongst them come exotically coloured Bentleys, Bugattis, Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Rolls-Royces, but one new arrival this season is a car we’ll henceforth just called ‘Limited’.

     

    Featuring the number ‘LMIITED’ on a British plate, the gunmetal grey Rolls-Royce Ghost concerned features scuffed black wheels and plainly gets lackadaisically parked wherever its driver chooses. The car’s owner, maybe concerned not to lose it, even shows a picture of what we can only be himself on the vehicle’s rear window.

     

    No doubt it’ll be the first of many eccentric machines to plague the locality in the coming months but as one regular reader remarked: “We do hope they’ll limit the noise.”

     

    A video of ‘The Great Arab Supercar Invasion in London’ follows.

     

    Limited in Knightsbridge – Arab Rolls-Royce Ghost LMIITED

     

  • The Lady is a Snob

    The Lady is a Snob

    Lady Meyer makes snobbish remarks on Twitter; in doing so she again proves she’s herself nothing but ghastly

     

    The infamously “Chanel clad” wife of Sir Christopher Meyer, Britain’s former “red socked fop” ambassador to America, is known for her curt manner and finger pointing ways, but recently on Twitter, she opted to again illustrate her true persona.

     

    In a tweet late last month, Lady Meyer CBE – a woman whose insistence to point out the letters after name on her account also shows her obsession with social status – remarked:

     

    “Righ [sic] vs left; Labour vs Con. It’s insane. Sadiq Kahn [sic] at a Chanel party tonight – now that is insane!”

     

    Aside from providing evidence of her inability to spell, Theresa May supporter Lady Meyer’s disrespectful remark about Mayor Sadiq Khan PC tells all anyone needs to know: It simply proves this ghastly woman to be nothing but a snob.

     

  • Sandra Howard – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    Sandra Howard – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    A 20-question interview with Sandra Howard – novelist, former model and wife of Conservative politician The Rt. Hon. Lord Howard of Lympne

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?

    Seeing the upside of life and what’s to laugh at.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    Perseverance pays.

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

    Kim Kardashian’s bottom.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    Talking to my mother – She was a sage and a wonderful rock.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    A continuing, happy, healthy marriage.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

    That’s too taxing for my ‘small bear’ financial brain. Well above my pay grade.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    “At the end of the day” and I’m not mad about: “You know what?” (Jeremy Corbyn’s favourite phrase).

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    It should begin at home and continue overseas. I’d hate to see our foreign aid budget cut. I support Addaction (to help people off drugs), Youth Epilepsy and Hospice UK.

     

    The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    They rule our lives, sometimes for better and frequently for worse.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    All my closest (bridge-playing and witty) friends.

     

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    Fresh crab, Dover sole, some delicious smelly cheese and a ripe mango. I’d eat it on Grand Anse Beach in Grenada, slipping in a last swim in that glorious clear sea.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    A Buck’s Fizz at breakfast isn’t a bad start to the day.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A cup of tea.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    Other peoples’ – I’m a mess of nerves when giving one of my own.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    My husband – Most of the time.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    A day (or more) entirely to myself to write in peace and privacy, not doing any of all the stuff, emails etc. that gets in the way.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    A black cat – I think I’ve had lots of luck in my life.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    A Mini Cooper is about my marque – fast, but I hope not flashy.

     

    Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I’m a passionate supporter of Liverpool Football Club.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    Family photos, a pair of china cockerels and a vase of lovely lavender freesias.

     

    Sandra Howard has quickly established herself as a successful author and journalist. She has written six novels; her latest, ‘The Consequence of Love’, is published on 13th July. She was, in the 1960s, a leading photographic fashion model and lives in London and Kent.

     

    Follow Sandra Howard on Twitter at @howardsandrac and like her page on Facebook at @sandrahoward76.

     

  • Wally of the Week – Catherine Faulks

    Wally of the Week – Catherine Faulks

    Moronic oddjob Councillor Catherine Faulks claims that the Kensington Town Hall protest was brought about by non-locals

     

    Kensington and Chelsea Council attracts idiots and aside from the bizarrely hyphenated Rock Fielding-Mellen and Nicholas Paget-Brown, one of their worst has to be Councillor Catherine Faulks.

     

    This week, Ms Faulks, a woman whom plainly did not attend the same gathering I visited at Kensington Town Hall in the wake of the Grenfell Tower tragedy, commented:

     

    “I think actually the people that stormed the council weren’t the local community, I think they were people who like doing that sort of thing and I think they did a disservice to the local community.”

     

    This totally out-of-touch woman has no grasp of the ground changing significance of what occurred at Grenfell Tower has brought. She is utterly on the wrong page and now all that is left for her to do is the decent thing. Catherine Faulks should resign.

     

    Pictured above: Catherine Faulks (rear) with former Tory MP for Kensington Lady Borwick.

     

    Catherine Faulks also told her friends and followers on Facebook to “stop donating” items for victims of the Grenfell Tower tragedy.
    Catherine Faulks also told her friends and followers on Facebook to “stop donating” items for victims of the Grenfell Tower tragedy.
  • Making an Impact

    Making an Impact

    A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition in Chelsea

     

    On the 19th June, undoubtedly the hottest day of summer thus far, at the 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10, Matthew Steeples hosted a party to mark the closing of artist Enzina Fuschini’s latest exhibition.

     

    Guests including Riadh Abdelouahad, Brian Callan, The Hon. Richard Evans, Ekaterina Fields, The Hon. Alexandra Foley, Alexa Jago, Barbara Minto, Damien Morley, Anna Scarborough, Jonathan Sothcott, Richard Steele and Mark and Alexandra Sykes enjoyed drinks and were photographed by Chris Harvey.

     

    Follow Enzina Fuschini on Twitter at @FuschiniEnzina.

     

    Making An Impact – 19th June 2017 – A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition at 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10. Hosted by Matthew Steeples.
    Matthew Steeples and Enzina Fuschini
    Making An Impact – 19th June 2017 – A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition at 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10. Hosted by Matthew Steeples.
    Damien Morley and Jonathan Sothcott
    Making An Impact – 19th June 2017 – A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition at 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10. Hosted by Matthew Steeples.
    Barbara Minto and Enzina Fuschini
    Making An Impact – 19th June 2017 – A party to close Enzina Fuschini’s ‘Impact’ exhibition at 508 Kings Road Gallery in Chelsea, SW10. Hosted by Matthew Steeples.
    Riadh Abdelouahad, The Hon. Alexandra Foley and Matthew Steeples
  • Not a Fibre of Regret

    Not a Fibre of Regret

    Arrogant jailbird Ben Fiberesima joins an evergrowing list of self-obsessed sorts to block ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter

     

    Rambunctious Ben Fiberesima, a loudmouth whose love for himself is plainly his guiding principle, has blocked The Steeple Times on social media after being released from the clink.

     

    Lauded as having “starred alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby” by the Daily Express (he was actually nothing but an extra), Fibersima featured on our pages in June 2015 after being exposed for using his Twitter account to promote himself whilst at Her Majesty’s pleasure. This model and wannabe rapper plainly disliked the impact our feature had on his activities and now, released after serving time for theft, fraud and possession of a stun gun he’s back on the rampage and seeking out whatever publicity he can.

     

    Not a Fibre of Regret – Arrogant jailbird Ben Fiberesima joins an evergrowing list of self-obsessed sorts to block ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter.
    Disgraced model and wannabe rapper Ben Fiberesima has chosen to share his life story with the few that might be interested in a book titled “Catch Me If You Can 2”; it is not known how many copies have been sold.
    Not a Fibre of Regret – Arrogant jailbird Ben Fiberesima joins an evergrowing list of self-obsessed sorts to block ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter.
    In questionable company – Also blocking The Steeple Times on Twitter – Former MP George Galloway, poet Pam Ayres, Labour politician Diane Abbott MP and former ambassador Sir Christopher Meyer and his “Chanel-clad” wife

     

    In January 2016, Fiberesima – whose five years on the run in Australia came to an end after police tracked him down due to his overuse, once again, of social media – whined to the Daily Express:

     

    “Prison is earth’s version of hell. The showers were more like bins. Sometimes I’d be woken up at night by the protest from the rats. That’s how bad it was – the rats were complaining! It was terrible.”

     

    “When I was in jail I must have lost £15,000 in modeling jobs and missed my best friends wedding. I lost quite a lot.”

     

    Later and yet again on social media, he added: “I actually pleaded ‘not guilty’ to all charges on two separate occasions but lost the case vs. ten people.”

     

    Words (lacking in) Wisdom from @RokyMillion

    Published on the buffoon Ben Fiberesima’s Twitter account since his release from prison.

     

    “There’s nothing wrong with loving yourself… I am who I am.”

     

    “I love putting a good pair of shades on. It makes me feel half Human half God [sic].”

     

    “Smile because your haters f**king hate it when you do that.”

     

    “It’s ironic that newspapers always report from a moralistic viewpoint. But what’s ‘moral’ about making money from peoples’ private lives?”

     

    “You shouldn’t be concerned with how someone who won’t even turn up at your funeral sees you.”

     

    “Media outlets like newspapers and news channels are the main reason why so many people hate so many things. They sell negativity. #FactsOnly”

     

    “I learned that I genuinely DGAF [don’t give a f**k] what random strangers I’ve never met before think about me.”

     

    “Deleting files from my Hardrive [sic] to make space on my MacBook is like what I did to some of my friends last year. #MakeRoom #Roky”

     

    “A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men.”

     

    “Dear long term friends that I’ve to cut off due to my thirst for positivity and chasing goals… I don’t miss you.”

     

    “People are nicer to you when they know you have notoriety.”

     

    “When you wear a bow tie, doors open for your.”

     

    “The general public like it when an underdog becomes successful.”

     

    “Good luck to the person trying to call me using a blocked number. Bitch I don’t even answer the phone to people I know!”

     

    “S**t happens. Clean it up and move on!”

     

    “If you don’t ask, you don’t get!”

     

  • Pasha Bocarie – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    Pasha Bocarie – What’s on your mantelpiece?

    A 20-question interview with actor, ‘Emmerdale’ star and musician Pasha Bocarie

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

    The power of positivity – Being able to find the positive in any situation.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2017?

    Donald Trump – The fact that he is acceptable in some quarters is clearly unacceptable.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    I miss traveling. I would like to see more of the world.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    Health.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the state of the financial system?

    It’s a bit like an avalanche, heavy at the top and when it comes tumbling down it takes everything with it.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    “To be honest.”

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I share that view. There are many great charities out there but it always nice to try and help the smaller ones to raise awareness for the great work they do without much support.

     

    The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    It’s a double-edged sword – They can be extremely useful whilst being extremely harmful. Everything in moderation, I guess.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    I once sat next to Ed Miliband on a Virgin train – which was great. It would have to be a mix of the intellectual and beautiful.

     

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    I suspect by that point I would have lost my appetite, would settle for a cigarette for old times sake.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    Depends on the day and the occasion.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A Negroni.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    The ones where you can jam with good musicians.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    My wife.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Carbs.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    A pair of scales.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    Something strong, reliable, stylish and classy – I’m talking about a Mercedes, not me of course!

     

    Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I have been an underdog for most of my life thus far.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    One of my mother’s oil paintings.

     

    Pasha Bocarie is an actor, musician and proud Londoner. He played “a dodgy lawyer,” Rakesh Kotecha, in ‘Emmerdale’ on ITV1, until 14th June.

     

    Follow Pasha Bocarie on Twitter at @PashaBocarie and Instagram at @pasha_bocarie.