Category: EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples.

Our editor tells it like it is and he rarely minces his words

BT phone home

The future for red telephone boxes

The red telephone box is something that tourists often cite as being symbolic of Britain. Just like the red London bus and the red pillar box, though, these Sir Giles Gilbert Scott designed kiosks are sadly disappearing from our streets.

Decaying red telephone boxes are an increasingly common sight throughout Britain

Traditional red “K6” model telephone boxes being removed from Warwick town centre

Killed by the mobile phone revolution, British Telecom successfully lobbied to remove public telephones as usage has declined dramatically. The company state that calls from payphones have fallen by more than 80% in the last five years and that around 60% of the boxes cost more to maintain than they generate in revenue.

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March 12, 2013
A monstrous murder in Mayfair

Matthew Steeples offers offers a tribute to the late Robert Troyan

I first met the larger than life Bostonian character Robert Troyan (1950 – 2013) with his partner Anthony Feldman in the early 2000s at their impressive apartment in Mayfair. Though I did not come to know them well, I fondly recall a number of evenings that they hosted there planning an event for a charity we were all involved in named Marine Conservation and several dinner parties.

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March 12, 2013
Keep Calm and Get Certified

Is it time for “Keep Calm And…” to “Sod Off And Get Lost”?

Since 2001, whatever the situation and whatever the context, three words, “Keep Calm And…”, can and often have been applied. The rediscovery of what was originally a British wartime propaganda poster in a secondhand bookshop in Alnwick, Northumberland set about this trend and it has continued unabated.

The bookshop’s owners, Stuart and Mary Manley, seized upon their customer’s enthusiasm for “Keep Calm And…” and they, then others, printed it onto clothing, doormats, postcards, mugs and other merchandise. Millions of items featuring the distinctive font and “Tudor” crown have been sold worldwide and a trademark dispute about it commenced in 2011 and continues to this day.

On the Barter Books website is a link to a video giving the story of how such a simple phrase has become so popular. On it the narrator states:

“It’s perhaps the words on the poster that people find most enchanting. Like a voice out of history, it offers a very simple warmhearted message to inspire confidence in others in difficult times and it is something that should never fade from fashion”.

Adaptations naturally followed and amongst the many thousands created, some of the more tolerable ones include:

–       Keep Calm Or Drink Wine

–       Keep Calm You’re Not On The Titanic

–       Keep Calm And Smoke Weed

–       Keep Korma And Curry On

–       Keep Calm And Get Over Yourself

–       Keep Calm And Chillax (for David Cameron)

–       Keep Calm And Kill Justin Bieber

–       Keep Calm And Get Certified

–       Keep Calm And F**k Off

–       Now Panic And Freak Out

–       Change Words And Be Hilarious

Increasingly, though, the overuse of “Keep Calm And…” has resulted in even Stuart Manley stating: “You almost get sick of it… Very few are genuinely funny”. There are hundreds of them and some are more bizarre than others. A selection numbers:

–       Keep Calm And Have A Cupcake

–       Keep Calm And Farm On

–       Keep Quiet And Continue Working

–       Keep Calm And Rule Britannia

–       Keep Calm And Pass Me The Ball

–       Keep Calm And Watch Skins

–       Keep Calm And Go Watch The Hunger Games

–       Keep Calm And Fake A British Accent

–       Keep Calm And Hack On

–       Keep Calm And Go Gangnam Style

–       Keep Calm And Act Like Kate Middleton

–       Calm You Shall Keep

Frankly, the majority of us are now bored. The time has come for reasonable souls to adopt the tone of Victor Meldrew. On sight of another piece of “Keep Calm And…” merchandise, the cry should ring out: “Sod Off And Get Lost”.

Barter Books: http://www.barterbooks.co.uk

Watch the Story of Keep Calm And Carry On at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrHkKXFRbCI&feature=player_embedded

If you must, purchase “Keep Calm” merchandise at: http://www.keepcalmhome.com, http://www.keepcalmstudio.com and http://www.keepcalmandcarryon.com

March 10, 2013
Taxes are only for the little people

HMRC publish a list of tax evaders but neglect to mention any large corporations

The hotelier and real estate heiress Leona Helmsley stated: “Taxes are only for the little people” before being convicted of income tax evasion in 1989.

Leona Helmsley (1920 – 2007)

HMRC’s list of deliberate tax defaulters published on 21st February 2013

Yesterday, Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs published a list of names and addresses of nine individuals and companies who they describe as tax defaulters. Amongst the names on the list are a grocer, a hairdresser and a coach operator and the amounts owed range from £29,111 to £447,904.

In response, Richard Murphy of Tax Research called the list of names: “Plain, straightforward hypocrisy”. He went on to state:

“The people named are easy targets. There are clearly different categories of tax crime, with small businesses who put cash in HMRC’s pockets named and shamed; but banks, wealthy lawyers and global corporations offered anonymity. It seems that only little people pay tax and only little people are named and shamed”.

Mr Murphy is quite right. Whilst these people may owe the taxman money, their activities are not in the league of the tax avoidance strategies of Starbucks, Google and Amazon.

If HMRC don’t want to be placed in the same category as Leona Helmsley, they’d do well to change their ways. Instead they’d do better to focus on the true “aggressors” that David Cameron highlighted this week but sadly, that would probably just be too logical a strategy for this monolithic organisation to follow.

View the HMRC list of 9 defaulters at: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/defaulters/defaulters-list.pdf

For a profile of Leona Helmsley, go to: http://thesteepletimes.com/tycoons/leona-helmsley-1920-2007/?position=14

February 22, 2013
Knightsbridge’s playboy racers

A review of Channel 4’s Millionaire Playboy Races by Matthew Steeples

I watched last night’s Millionaire Playboy Racers expecting to find myself in agreement with Knightsbridge residents complaining about the noise generated by Arabs and their supercars. In many instances I would have previously agreed that they are bloody pests but surprisingly, by the end of the 45-minute Channel 4 documentary, I was left with feelings quite to the contrary.

My followers on Facebook often comment on the snaps I take of the supercars that come to London from Dubai, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. Some are impressive and amazing. Others are vulgarity personified. A few are shown below.

A pink Rolls-Royce Phantom

A purple Mercedes-Benz G-Class

The white way to go?

Millionaire Playboy Racers was commissioned, like most television these days, to provoke. It failed. The whingeing residents of The Royal Borough complaining about the cars, one of whom was bizarrely named “Panda” Morgan-Thomas, came across as spoilt and obnoxious whilst it was a Kuwaiti named Abdul Aziz Al Rashed who came across best.

Panda Morgan-Thomas and her daughter in Sloane Street

Abdul Aziz Al Rashed in one of his supercars

This sensible young man expressed his views clearly. He understood the situation and though the British police treated him unfairly at one point, he remained reasonable. As the show ended he stated:

“I be very serious with you… At 12am I stop using this car as many people are sleeping… My friends are very sad to go back to Kuwait… I feel very sad to leave this nice place to go back to my desert… Give us London and we give you Kuwait.”

Morgan-Thomas, her daughter and their friends on the other hand came across as weird busybodies. These resentful, hectoring pests showed the people of this wealthy enclave in their worst light. As an example, Ms Morgan-Thomas showed the cameras a tree made out of roses that she had dried in her flat that she was building up towards her ceiling. She stated that when the top was reached she might marry her partner. Who on earth would do such a bizarre thing? The woman is plainly a loon.

Justin Downes, another of their number, did not help the cause of the anti-supercar crusaders with comments like:

“[They’ve created] a kingdom of Qatar in the middle of London… Idiots… I’ve seen the area move from being a very quiet residential area to being cosmopolitan in a way that is extreme… These Gulfies come in and use the area to drive recklessly. If they were UK citizens they’d be prosecuted… I am angry.”

Here were people who came across as racists and bigots. They damaged their cause and of the residents the only one I felt sorry for was an elderly lady who lived in a basement studio near Harrods. This poor woman came was indeed being disturbed late at night and if more like her had been interviewed then an entirely different perspective would have been presented. Instead, Channel 4, to satisfy their viewers, allowed a woman who lived in one of London’s main shopping streets to make residents come across as a bunch of utter weirdos and freaks.

I am still of the opinion that many of these Arab drivers are reckless and vulgar but having watched this programme, the ridiculousness of the “Knightsbridge girl” Panda and her chums has now truly been exposed. In fact, I’d rather it be her who is kept off the streets of SW1.

Watch Millionaire Playboy Racers at: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/millionaire-boy-racers/4od

January 4, 2013
A Robin Reliant of a drama

Our view on the Christmas episode of Downton Abbey

Christmas Day is meant to be a time for celebration and joy. After feasting likes kings, many of us sat down to a cheery cartoon or drama. With that in mind, watching Downton Abbey seemed like a good option.

Joy and celebration for Matthew Crawley and his family was what viewers wanted to see

But this was a step too far

8.1 million Brits viewed the ITV1 show this time last year and though the audience was down to 6.8 million, there was utterly no need for the ending created by Julian Fellowes.

During the two-hour programme, we found the majority of it tolerable despite the countless social inaccuracies but the way in which the main character, Matthew Crawley, played by Dan Stevens, was killed off was tasteless in the extreme.

After celebrating the arrival of an heir, Fellowes had the pivotal character crash an open top roadster. Blood poured from his head as he died and then they cut to Maggie Smith as The Dowager Countess of Grantham who stated: “We don’t always get our just deserts”.

This truly was a lowbrow piece of melodrama and we were disappointed that Fellowes didn’t use his dramatic licence a little better. It was, in fact, lazy writing and viewers have rightly reacted with horror in the hours since. Many have complained on Twitter that if they wanted this kind of action they’d be watching Eastenders or Coronation Street and one went as far as to say Downton Abbey is now “a Robin Reliant of a drama”.

Downton has been dumbed down enough. We imagine many of our readers will join us in pressing the off button when it returns in the New Year.

December 26, 2012
A prank too far

Matthew Steeples shares his views on the untimely death of a hospital receptionist

Suicide is sadly something that is at the forefront of my mind this week. My friend Andrew Embiricos sadly died exactly a year ago but when I read that a hotel receptionist who had been the victim of a prank had committed suicide, I was truly saddened.

Radio presenters Mel Greig and Michael Christian

A hoax call by two foolish Australian radio presenters to the private hospital which treated the Duchess of Cambridge is said to have been the trigger for the suicide and frankly the two morons who caused this should hold their heads in shame. 2Day FM is already serving two five-year probations for breaching the code’s radio stations have to adhere to and presenters Michael Christian and Mel Greig ought to be sent to The Tower. Their’s was a prank too far. Off with their heads.

December 7, 2012
Reaching nowhere

Matthew Steeples highlights the peril of “reaching out”

“Reaching out” is a phrase that can be compared to Starbucks and their taxes.

This toxic platitude has sadly become common in both Britain and America and is generally used by people who don’t know you when they want something. Like Starbucks on the high street, it is everywhere and akin to the coffee company and their tax contributions, it contributes very little.

Reaching out – a phrase that should be consigned to Room 101

“I’m reaching out to you today…” began a recent email from Cindy McCain, the wife of a former American Presidential candidate, asking for a donation to a campaign her husband was running. Mrs McCain’s insincere email continued in the same tone and I did not feel motivated to donate. The very words “reaching out” so grated on my psyche that I was utterly turned off. I am certain many others felt just the same.

In her song, “Reach Out and Touch (Somebody’s Hand)”, Diana Ross used the euphemism correctly. Her reference to physical contact is a perfectly reasonable use of the words whereas McCain’s pompous and forlorn request was unwelcome and unwanted. As I “reached” the end of the email and read: “This is a call to action,” all the bleach blonde had achieved was to lead me towards the button marked “junk mail.”

Starbucks are now trying to put a stop to their tax avoidance. Please could Mrs McCain and others “lead by example” and do the same with their “reaching out”?

December 5, 2012
When good men should do nothing

Matthew Steeples responds to the recommendations of Leveson

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” was one of Edmund Burke’s most famous observations.

Today, David Cameron’s former spin doctor Andy Coulson and ex-News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks were in court to face charges of having conspired to pay Ministry of Defence employee Bettina Jordan-Barber around £100,000 for information. How terribly convenient for our Prime Minister that this court appearance coincided with Lord Justice Leveson issuing his report into press standards.

Rt. Hon. Lord Justice Leveson issues his report today

A spokeswoman for Hacked Off (http://hackinginquiry.org) responds to Leveson’s report. Kate McCann stands to her rear.

Rebekah Brooks arrives at Westminster Magistrates Court this morning

In the inevitable media firestorm in the run up to today’s report being issued, one question has been missed and that question is: “Did we really need a £4 million inquiry to tell us that there are elements of the press that have done wrong and did we really need a 9-month inquiry to tell us that the Press Complaints Commission was a “toothless poodle”?

Inevitably, the media and politicians have reacted against many of Leveson’s suggestions and “victims” have suggested he should have gone further. The main suggestion made was that there should be a “new independent system of self-regulation underpinned by the law.” It’s hardly a revelation and it’s hardly a solution.

“Bad men and foreigners shouldn’t be allowed to run our press,” commented Conservative MP Sir Peter Tapsell of the report. He added: “[Media] ownership should be confined to British nationals.” This utterly ludicrous suggestion shows how out of touch certain politicians in this country are. We live in a global society in which the Internet allows information to be shared across transnational boundaries and as a result our media has to operate globally.

Sir Peter Tapsell MP

Our own audience is illustrative: 38% of our readers are based in the UK, but 31% are American. We have an ever-growing readership in Russia and China and receive countless comments from individuals in places as far apart as New Zealand and Finland. Though many may loathe him, the person whom Tapsell’s attack was directed at, Rupert Murdoch, is not a force for evil. He’s simply a tycoon who wishes to make money and get on with running his business. He should be left to do such and the media should be left to self-regulate.

Sir Christopher Meyer and Baroness Buscombe, appointed cronies who were put in place to regulate the media in the UK were responsible for the mess created at the PCC. They failed because they were busybodies with political agendas and they failed because they did not go the whole hog when it came to dealing with the bad apples. As a result, public trust disintegrated and the PCC will deservedly be scrapped.

The bad behavior of a small number of people should not destroy the free press as a cornerstone of our free society. Today is an illustration of a case where good men actually should do nothing.

To read Leveson’s report, go to: http://www.levesoninquiry.org.uk

November 29, 2012
Put a sock in it

Matthew Steeples takes a look at the farcical results of the PCC elections

A former ambassador to the US undiplomatically Tweeted the following an hour or two ago: “Prezza beaten. Humberside policing saved.” His dovetailed stooge, one Mowbray Jackson, added: “Tiresome tub thumper ‘Lord’ Prescott rejected in PCC election. There is a god.”

Lord Prescott faces defeat in the PCC elections like all great men: He proudly holds his head up and heads straight to the bar.

Sir Christopher Meyer and his sidekick Mowbray Jackson share their somewhat predictable views about Lord Prescott’s defeat.

The first of this pair of social elevators loves a good old Ralph Lauren sofa and the second is often to be found lizard-like with a carafe swilling partner at the bars of London’s Hollywood Road. One stood accused by Prescott of doing “nothing” over phone-hacking whilst chair of the PCC, which probably explains his bitterness, but the other has little connections to the former Deputy Prime Minister other than a picture of himself posing outside 10 Downing Street on his Twitter handle. This image was taken at an event that a certain Lady Meyer hosted with “she so enthusiastic for PCC’s,” our “esteemed” Home Secretary, Theresa May. Dogs, fleas and all that.

From the start, I was very vocal in my view that the PCC elections were a waste of time. I personally couldn’t see the point of them but the one person I thought deserved to win was John Prescott. The right-wing columnist Peter Oborne agreed and summed up my views perfectly in a Daily Telegraph column on Wednesday:

“Most members of the Labour Cabinet [Prescott] served in are now off doing rather grubby jobs in the private sector and feathering their nest, whereas John Prescott, well into his 70s, is still filled with the desire to serve. Good luck to him tomorrow. It would be a magnificent thing for British politics if he wins.”

A Conservative government, though, should not have advocated this additional layer of bureaucracy and all the Police and Crime Commissioners will be is just such. Conservatives are meant to be about “less” rather than “more” government and that one polling station in Wales had a ballot box that, when opened, contained zero papers speaks volumes. It’s been a dismal day for democracy and frankly the government should “sock” the lot of these bureauprats before they have chance to do an iota of damage.

Read Peter Oborne’s article, “Why I hope John Prescott wins in Humberside tomorrow,” at: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100189605/why-i-hope-john-prescott-wins-in-humberside-tomorrow/

November 16, 2012