‘The Steeple Times’ asks readers to name the brilliantly batshit bonkers bird spotted gyrating in front of Chelsea shop windows during the coronavirus lockdown
Spotted on both the Fulham Road and Kings in Chelsea in recent days, a sometimes lycra-clad lady has been spotted by beady eyed readers gyrating in the glistening windows of empty shops. In days of old, we had ‘Widow Twanky’ and in days of coronavirus lockdown, we’ve got ‘Window Twerky.’
Presumably using said elevations as the mirror in which she can celebrate her very own maniac moves, little else is known about this non-conformist. Today, therefore, we ask anyone in the know to send in this wonderfully wacky woman’s name. We would like to contact her and push her forward to Simon Cowell for an audition as he will undoubtedly join in giving an almighty ‘YES!’
The Steeple Times joins those suggesting that this wacky wonder deserves wider public accolade and also a thank you for bringing joy to all who’ve witnessed her Fifty Shadesof Crazy antics during this Strictly insane time. Bring on yet more batshit bonkers as, after all, that’s what the Kings Road was always meant to be all about.
Rock on ‘Window Twerky’ – Your nation needs you!
With thanks to Claire Rubinstein and Tom Griffiths for first sharing ‘Window Twerky’ at-work on their Instagram stories.
Grosvenor Square apartment for sale; it comes with access to a private residents’ ballroom and will appeal to any fan of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’
Built circa 1958 on the site of an earlier house damaged during the war, a ground floor apartment within 17 Grosvenor Square in London’s Mayfair has gone on sale for £3.75 million ($4.9 million, €4.2 million or درهم18.1 million).
Offered on a lease with 40 years remaining, the 1,481 square foot property includes not only an impressive 29-foot by 17-foot drawing room but also two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It does require but modernisation but comes with a bonus in the form of access to a private residents’ ballroom measuring 55-foot by 22-foot.
That space supposedly can accommodate upto 350 people for a cocktail party and though said to be “rarely used,” it certainly could be the perfect space for any fan of BBC One’s Strictly Come Dancing to practice the Samba.
It seems we’ve gotten to the bottom of the reason Will Young pulled out of Strictly Come Dancing.
Though the singer – who is allegedly worth £13.5 million – cited “personal reasons” and The Sun claimed he’d “thrown a massive tantrum”, it seems he’s actually ended up taking on a new job.
Someone named Will Young is, we can now reveal, a detective chief inspector at Kensington Police Station in Earl’s Court Road “working together for a better London”.
Steven Berkoff speaks for millions in comments about the dumbing down of the BBC
Actor and director Steven Berkoff has never been known for mincing his words. That’s why we like him. In his latest comments describing much of what the BBC broadcast as “garbage” and ITV1’s Downton Abbey as featuring “a lot of silly old tarts in costume” he is once again right.
Like a fine vintage, this Texan model and actress gets better with age. Mick Jagger’s former common-law wife was once engaged to Bryan Ferry and has dabbled with Kabbalah and other religions. A mother of four, Hall once stated: “I’m a very bad citizen. I’ve never even voted… I have zero interest in politics”.
Matthew Steeples suggests that Nadine Dorries is perhaps right to head for the jungle
Don’t get me wrong: I think Nadine Dorries is an utter loon. For those who haven’t heard of her, she’s the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire and a bit of a mouthpiece. Her entry on our roll call attracted over 8,000 hits yesterday and that alone is clear indication that she, unlike the majority of dimwits that occupy the Houses of Parliament, is an MP who gets noticed.
Nadine Dorries heads for the jungle
“Gets noticed,” I hear you splutter. Yes, she’s someone who loves the limelight and doesn’t care whom she offends. She’s best known for having described David Cameron and George Osborne as a pair of “arrogant posh boys” who “don’t know the price of milk” and is regularly derided for her “maverick” ways. Here is a woman who gets compared to Ann Widdecombe and Edwina Currie and one that hasn’t let her party tell her what to do.
In the House of Commons she’s achieved little apart from becoming a figure of fun. She’s commonly known as “Mad Nad” and the media reel her out whenever they fancy a bit of sport. Dorries can be relied upon to produce lines such as: “[I’m] not an MP for any other reason other than because God wants me to be” and these indeed are classic examples of her idiocy.
On Tuesday, it was announced that Ms. Dorries, on full parliamentary pay, has headed off to Australia to participate in the ITV1 television series I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! For this, she’s pocketing a fee of circa £40,000 and will, without doubt, rake in a lot more in appearance fees and for interviews on her return. MPs and the media derided this move but I congratulate her.
Martha Payne
I cannot disagree with those who state that she’d be fired if she were in a normal job and just disappeared for a month, but “Mad Nad” has realised that the Conservative Party is not the place for her. She has plainly come to the conclusion that the House of Commons is nothing other than a chamber full of hot air and that to get things changed, you follow the example of the schoolgirl Martha Payne and use technology and the media to the max. With NeverSeconds, this fearless 9-year old took on the might of a council and improved school dinners. In the meantime, MPs haven’t even been able to come up with an appropriate solution to restore the Houses of Parliament, let alone solve a nation in the midst of economic meltdown.
Frankly, we have too many MPs in this country and they don’t work hard enough. In total, there are 650 and this corresponds to one for every 68,000 parliamentary electors. It would be better to halve this number and double the pay of the remainder. We’d get better quality people applying to be our representatives and people like “Mad Nad” would be a thing of the past. Nadine Dorries isn’t an A-list “celebrity” but she should most certainly stick to the jungle.
Best known for her role as Flick Scully on the soap Neighbours, this Australian born actress, singer and model struck gold when she married the British property tycoon Nick Candy. Her foray into music as Holly Valance brought success with Kiss Kiss but she subsequently fell out with her manager and had to pay him $350,000 in damages. She’s now most likely to be found on London’s social circuit or out shopping.
Started a property empire with a loan of £6,000 from their grandmother in 1995. Now said to be worth anything upto £13 billion, this pair are most famous for their One Hyde Park development next to The Mandarin Oriental. London based Nick is married to the Australian singer and former Neighbours actress Holly Valance whilst Monaco based Christian is married to a former “It-girl” named Emily Crompton. In one interview Nick was quoted as saying: “We’ve probably got about 10 cars”. With this much wealth, what’s a car between friends?
