The Steeple Times

Tag: social media

  • The Poppy Pariahs

    The Poppy Pariahs

    Matthew Steeples names and shames the retail giants who won’t be selling Royal British Legion poppies this year; they include Boots, Sainsbury’s, Selfridges, Tesco, Waitrose and Wholefoods

     

    Even ‘Murky’ Meghan Markle – down under in New Zealand on tour – is sporting one right now; the humble poppy. A mark of respect to those who fought so we didn’t end up living under a regime of terror, most surprisingly, isn’t available at a single supermarket in Belgravia, Chelsea, Fulham or Knightsbridge.

     

    Today, I visited Sainsbury’s in Elizabeth Street, Belgravia in the hope of buying a Royal British Legion poppy. I asked at the counter and was met with: “We don’t sell those things.” I then telephoned the company’s press office and was told: “Our employees got the wrong end of the stick.”

     

    Subsequently, by email, a media relations executive working at the firm, Jordan Grant, replied and commented: “We can reassure customers poppies will be available in store this week.” Given it is already 29th October and Remembrance Sunday is just 13 days away, this is hardly acceptable – especially given the store is already selling Christmas decorations (Christmas Day is 57 days away).

     

    Next, in frustration, I visited Tesco on Royal Hospital Road in Chelsea. Situated directly next to the National Army Museum and close to the Royal Hospital – home to the legendary and widely respected Chelsea Pensioners. On asking for a poppy, a till operative lackadaisically remarked: “We do not sell those things. We are a supermarket.”

     

    Waitrose Belgravia – commonly known as “Celebrity Waitrose” due to the likes of John Cleese and Lady Helen Taylor being regulars –presented a similar but worse response. The customer service desk operative at the flagship store told me: “We do not condone war so do not sell poppies. It is against our company policy.”

     

    A friend, on my behalf, visited Wholefoods and was told: “We don’t know what poppies are” (they, at least, suggested donating to a homeless charity). She also got told at Boots: “We don’t sell things like that” but did find a lovely pair of Sikh gentlemen selling poppies in the Fulham Broadway underground station. She gave them £25.

     

    A phone call to Selfridges was met with: “We do not supply poppies” but Harrods came through. Their customer service desk call handler announced: “We will be selling poppies later this week. We like to support the Royal British Legion.”

     

    Shame on the high street retailers of Britain. Not a poppy in sight and not an ounce of support for the heroes who’ve saved us. This is an utter disgrace and it should be named as such.

     

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  • Blind Brexit

    Blind Brexit

    Boris Johnson pictured wheeling Theresa May around Chelsea in a wheel barrow whilst elsewhere the pair of them make themselves known in a phone box

     

    Spotted in Chelsea on Sunday. No comment required.

     

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  • Instagrammable London

    Instagrammable London

    Fabio Contissa suggests the most Instagrammable restaurants and cafes to visit in London

     

    Social networking sites have become a part of everyday life for many people especially for millennials. In an effort to attract this demographic, many industries have begun to harness the power of social media.  One such industry is the food industry where many restaurants and cafes utilise the photo networking site, Instagram, to promote places to visit such as these venues in London.

     

    Peggy Porschen

    If you’ve got a sweet tooth, then definitely a visit with Peggy’s is in order. Probably one of the most picturesque bake shops in the capital, the store is painted pink and adorned with hearts and flowers. The shop has been the background of many selfies so don’t be surprised to see crowds out front snapping pics. While the baked goods are a bit pricey, the whole visit is an experience. The cupcakes are seriously delicious and worth every pound. Open daily from 8am to 8pm, Peggy’s sweets can be washed down with tea or even champagne.

     

    Bob Bob Ricard

    This elegant eatery is decorated in a style reminiscent of the 1920s. On the menu is both Russian and British cuisine. Expect to find comfort food accompanied by lots of champagne. To further emphasize the availability of champagne, each booth is outfitted with its own “press for champagne” button which adds a bit of fun to the dining experience here. A full bar is available if cocktails are more to your liking. Perhaps start off with platinum vodkas shots which has been chilled to -18°C. Meals here aren’t cheap and it you are wanting to impress a date or guests, BBR is the place to go.

     

    Bubblewrap Waffle

    With their signature bubble waffle, the BubblewrapWaffle has also earned its reputation for being one of the top Instagrammed eateries in London. Originally an import from Hong Kong and featured in Chinatown, egg waffles have evolved into these snacks constructed from lattice batter. You can opt for either the original or chocolate flavoured. The bubblewrap is then stuffed with gelato as well as toppings of your choice. Then it is all wrapped up much like a cone. While many prefer the sweet versions of the bubblewraps, many also opt for the savoury flavours including the avocado egg featuring eggs and avocado.

     

    Berner’s Tavern

    One of three restaurants in West End London created by Jason Atherton, Berner’s Tavern opened five years ago. While the menu provides mouth-watering fare, if it the atmosphere and décor that make this venue tops on Instagram. The dining room is large and spacious with an ornate plasterwork ceiling that help make it quite photogenic. Located within the newly opened Edition Hotel, the restaurant’s walls are tiled with numerous framed pieces of fine art.

     

    Palm Vaults

    This pastel café is covered with palm trees and plants. Featured here are colourful lattes that are very Instagrammable including ones in hues of rose, aqua and lavender. They provide healthy options including vegan and gluten free. Brunch is a popular draw here where you can enjoy tasty yet healthy fare and add to your Instagram feed as well.

     

    Fabio Contissa is a freelance writer with an extensive knowledge of restaurants and fine dining.

     

    Pictured top: Bob Bob Ricard’s ‘Press for Champagne’ button.

     

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  • Bollocks to Brexit

    Bollocks to Brexit

    As Pimlico Plumbers’ founder sticks up a ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ sign on his headquarters and Gina Miller launches ‘End The Chaos!’, The Steeple Times predicts Brexit will NOT actually happen

     

    Charlie Mullins, founder of Pimlico Plumbers, is well-known for having supported Gina Miller’s successful Article 50 case at The Supreme Court.

     

    Now, in a brilliantly bold move, this multi-millionaire businessman has stuck a huge sign on his company’s headquarters in Waterloo that reads: “Bollocks to Brexit, It’s not a done deal.”

     

    Shared on Facebook by a Facebook group named ‘Pants to Brexit,’ an image of this gigantic yellow and black announcement comes just as Miller herself launched a new campaign called ‘End the Chaos!’ It also accompanied revelations of Tony Blair, Nick Clegg and Sir John Major holding “secret meetings” to establish how Britain could actually remain in the EU.

     

    We join Mr Mullins in saying: “BOLLOCKS TO BREXIT” and look forward to the imminent collapse of the mess that she who’s been too busy wandering in the wheatfields presides over.

     

    Please join those backing ‘End the Chaos’ – Let the people decide by clicking here.

     

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  • Thanks Alexa

    Thanks Alexa

    Alexa Chung transitions from “fashion genius” to “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports; Matthew Steeples asks: “Who’d want to miss such important news?”

     

    Is there nothing that the ‘Queen of Instagram’ (with her 3.1 million followers) Alexa Chung cannot master? This “phenomenon,”  “starlet” and “human” (that’s her very own description of herself by the way), The Guardian today announced, is “back in a different guise” and making her “debut as a designer” at London Fashion Week. “Hasn’t she been in (or out) of fashion for years?” we hear you cry.

     

    Thanks Alexa – “Human” Alexa Chung becomes a “fashion designer” and shares her views on Googling and airports.
    Alexa Chung is, of course, a “human” (aside from being many other amazing things)

     

    God help anyone who gets in this one-time (failed) television presenter’s way. She blocked me on Twitter simply because I dared to question her relevance outside of the confines of Stephen Fry-land and now (modest as ever) “it’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now” Chung has merged her name into one word: ALEXACHUNG to accompany her transition “from muse to founder and creative director.” One might ask: “Why?” but of course the answer’s simple for this 34-year-old: It makes life easier when one is already so well known, doesn’t it?

     

    Naturally, when she’s not (as everyone does at breakfast) “still Googling pictures of Jane Birkin,” Chung now finds herself observing the world. She remarks: “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”

     

    Just the kind of advice we all need: Thanks, Alexa.

     

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  • An Almighty Allsopp

    An Almighty Allsopp

    Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part?

     

    On Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show on Monday, one of the panel, The Hon. Kirstie Allsopp, shared that she’d smashed up her children’s iPads because they weren’t using them responsibly. Outrage invariably ensued.

     

    During the programe, the “strong-minded” daughter of ex-Sotheby’s chairman Lord Hindlip and Location, Location, Location presenter stated:

     

    “This is the first time I’ve said this publicly. In June I smashed my kids’ iPads, not in a violent way. I actually banged them on the table leg.”

     

    “There is a game called Fortnite and another PUBG and I decided… We had made all sorts of rules and all sorts of times when we said you can’t play them and all those rules got broken and in the end I said: ‘Right that is it, I have to physically (break them).’”

     

    In the ensuing hours, Allsopp was both lauded as a sensible parent and slated as reckless and ridiculous on social media and in reply, Tweeted:

     

    “If you found your kids with a packet of cigarettes would you say: ‘I wouldn’t destroy these because they are worth a tenner but please don’t smoke?’ No of course you wouldn’t.”

     

    Before subsequently deciding to delete her Twitter account due to the level of abuse she had been subjected to, she added:

     

    “The second hand value of the iPads is about £70 each, if I feel a lesson was learned about following through then it was worth far, far, far more our family than £140. This is about the value of trust, and the value of people over things.”

     

    Of the debacle, on ITV1’s Good Morning Britain on Wednesday, author Anna May Mangan leapt to Allsopp’s defence:

     

    “I’ve heard her being called ‘Kirstie Allstropp’ on Twitter today. I’d have probably unplugged the router but she certainly didn’t deserve this public hanging. Is there such a thing as a perfect parent?”

     

    Joining the thousands who’ve condemned Allsopp, another guest replied:

     

    “It’s just a waste and sets a really bad example of how to look after possessions. Wilful smashing up an iPad is wasteful.”

     

    Whilst the Independent’s Anthony Cuthbertson bizarrely over-analysed the story by suggesting it “shows a darker side of gaming,” on Twitter, the pugnacious Brexiteer and all-round loudmouth Nadine Dorries MP decided to weigh in also. She remarked:

     

    “Gameboys that [sic] spoilt a family holiday for us once. Wish I’d thought of doing this. I’d have chucked them in the pool.”

     

    Just like the reaction when the foul mouthed yet highly amusing aristocrat Francis ‘F***ing’ Fulford’s wife threw her television in a lake because her children wouldn’t “turn the f***ing  thing” off” back in 2004 on the reality show The F***ing Fulfords, ‘Allstropp-gate’ is nothing but a storm in a teacup. It is one, however, that has done one thing: It has generated Ms Allsopp more column inches and thus yet more money making opportunities. To her, that’s most certainly worth smashing a couple of no doubt worn out old iPads for.

     

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    An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? An Almighty Allstropp – Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part?

  • The Gamble of Greig

    The Gamble of Greig

    Will  ‘more toff than tough’ Geordie Greig take the ‘Daily Mail’ into the realm of rational? Matthew Steeples suggests that’s as likely as Jacob Rees-Mogg donning a Kappa tracksuit and dancing a jig with Diane Abbott

     

    Yesterday, in an opinion piece for The Guardian, Jane Martinson claimed new editor of the Daily Mail Geordie Greig “finds himself walking on a tightrope” as he juggles keeping Brexiteers, remainers, anti-immigrant readers and his pugnacious proprietor happy.

     

    In her overall observation, Martinson is entirely right. Greig’s arrival marks a major change at the paper in that he comes not from the world of political journalism of his “poisoner in chief” predecessor Paul Dacre, but instead is an Old Etonian who has edited “aristocrat’s favourite” Tatler magazine and written about the life of the louche father of fourteen and “unapologetically self-absorbed” portrait painter Lucian Freud.

     

    Described by The Observer in 2005 as “Britain’s most connected man” and married to a Texan, Greig, in many ways, harks back to the era of David Cameron and George Osborne’s politics. He, like them, lives in Notting Hill, is a “friend” of the “socialite” Oxford-LSE graduate wife of (the Mail’s owner) Viscount Rothermere, Claudia Clemence, and is even credited with persuading the former chancellor’s new boss, Evgeny Lebedev, to buy the Evening Standard in 2009. In this regard, I’d argue, this 57 year old is very much a key component of the establishment elite that is what I like to mockingly term: ‘The Club.’

     

    Greig comes from what can limply be termed “a nicer school of journalism” and despite his grandfather having briefly flirted with the far right when he joined the January Club, “an establishment ginger group for the British Union of Fascists,” he is himself seen to be cultural and no enemy of the postmodern era. This former fashion writer collects works by the pro-Margaret Thatcher, pro-Prince Charles collaborative artists Gilbert & George and supposedly has already “[ripped] out Dacre’s [old fashioned] panelling and chintz office and [brought] in his own [‘Notting Hill Set’ style] soft furnishings.” No doubt, the chattering classes will titter and suggest they come from OKA – the furniture emporium founded by Viscountess Astor (the mother of Samantha Cameron) that was sold to Investindustrial, the owners of Aston Martin, in January this year – but in doing so they have a point: Greig is most definitely more toff than tough.

     

    Whether “mild-mannered… by nature liberal, fiscally conservative” Greig will be able to replace Paul Dacre’s “I give my readers a daily hate” racist, homophobic, philistine, “enemies of the people” agenda at the Mail with something more liberal and tolerant remains to be seen. It does, however, seem as likely as Jacob Rees-Mogg donning a Kappa tracksuit and dancing a jig with Diane Abbott.

     

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  • A Rental Ruin

    A Rental Ruin

    Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler”

     

    Other than the legendary Roy Brooks, the only honest man in his game, estate agents will be optimistic about just about anything. A bit of damp: “no problem”; a nuclear power station next door: “positively charming” but John D. Wood & Co. truly take the biscuit with the marketing material for a property they are currently trying to let in chi-chi Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London.

     

    Sent to us by an eagle eyed reader, the £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week), 867 square foot three floor aforementioned house has conventional features such as a reception room, kitchen, three bedrooms and a bathroom. It also, rather unconventionally, has walls that haven’t even been painted and are just bare plaster. Pictures show also scruffily made-up beds propped up on wooden blocks, wiring and ageing televisions discarded on the floors and a garden littered with leaves.

     

    Of this strange offering, our reader remarked: “I saw this listing and thought it was a half-finished project and up for sale, but no, it’s a rental. Buy-to-let plainly says can’t afford to finish it, says sod it and tries to rent it out in a half-finished state and describe it as a ‘unique house packed with character and charm.’ I particularly like the exposed gas meter!”

     

    When he telephoned, a member of staff at John D. Wood told our reader: “The landlord would prefer to rent the property ‘as is’ and not do further work. It would be at least £1,000 per week if it were finished. He is happy for any tenant to paint and make further improvements.”

     

    In typical estate agent fashion, she optimistically added: “It does have a new boiler.”

     

    Roy Brooks – “A painfully honest estate agent”

    “Beyond any doubt the best copywriter for property advertising in the history of the British press,” Roy Brooks (died 1971) took a “puckish delight in telling the truth” about the houses he was asked to sell.

     
    A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week).

    An example of this Kings Road based eccentric’s advertisements read:

     

    “Do not be misled by the trim exterior of this modest period res with its dirty broken windows; all is not well with the inside. The décor of the nine rooms, some of which hangs inelegantly from the walls, is revolting. Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a pathetic kitchen and one cold tap. No bathroom, of course, but Chelsea has excellent public baths. Rain sadly drips through the ceiling on to the oilcloth. The pock-marked basement floor indicates a thriving community of woodworm, otherwise there is not much wrong with the property… Sacrifice £6,750.”

     

    Another announced:

     

    “Wanted: Someone with taste, means and a stomach strong enough to buy this erstwhile house of ill-repute in Pimlico. It is untouched by the 20th century as far as conveniences for even the basic human decencies are concerned. Although it reeks of damp or worse, the plaster is coming off the walls and daylight peeps through a hole in the roof, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and empty bottles in one corner. Plenty of scope for the socially aspiring to express their decorative taste and get their abode in The Glossy, and nothing to stop them putting Westminster on their notepaper. Comprises 10 rather unpleasant rooms with slimy back yard, £4,650 Freehold. Tarted up, these houses make £15,000.”

     

    Justifying his reasoning for driving his Rolls-Royce from London to Russia loaded up with 1,000 pairs of shoes, Brooks – author of Brothel in Pimlico and Mud, Straw and Insults: Confessions of an Honest Estate Agent – glibly explained: “I take these for old times’ sake – Stalingrad and the defeat of the German hordes. Perhaps I could bring back in return some of their women engineers whose factories I saw prefabricating good homes by the thousands.”

     

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    A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week).A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week). A Rental Ruin – Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler” – 62 Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 4AR, United Kingdom – To rent through John D. Wood & Co. for £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week).

  • Bagging Beckham

    Bagging Beckham

    As Victoria Beckham embraces being a ‘bag lady,’  one could argue she’d simply do best to keep her head inside for good

     

    On the surface, Victoria Beckham has it all: Fame, fortune and friends. In spite of this, this pop princess turned fashion fiesta never smiles and frankly seems as miserable as sin.

     

    Now, in a photoshoot “to mark a decade in the fashion industry,” Mrs Beckham has bizarrely posed with her head inside a vast carrier bag adorned with her brand’s label.

     

    Perhaps it might be best if this down-in-the-dumps diva stayed there for good.

     

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  • Revolving Friends

    Revolving Friends

    Friendship is a ‘revolving door’ suggests Matthew Steeples; embrace the unknown

     

    One’s life, in terms of those we become acquainted with, is much like a revolving door. It is a door that operates at varying speeds dependent on some coming and staying and others coming and going more quickly than others. Sometimes, even, this door is known to repeat itself and welcome back old timers and sometimes it rightly bangs shut in such people’s very faces.

     

    Friends, alas, are often transient in how long they remain with you and last week, after reading an insightful article by Rhik Samadder of the Guardian, I got thinking about some of the most recent ‘revolvers’ to have passed through the doors of my life. Pertinently, Samadder remarked:

     

    “Seasons change, friendships fade, people die. But there are new relationships, jobs, houses, waiting to rise under the ground of your loss. Extraordinary things you know nothing about yet. That is why it’s good to make friends with the unknown.”

     

    He is entirely right and in this age where the majority have become totally absorbed by social media we must embrace just such.

     

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