As out of his skull Michael Barrymore yet again makes an utter prat of himself on Instagram, we remind him to stop “destroying” games and instead help get justice for Stuart Lubbock, the man murdered in his very own swimming pool
In yet another self-indulgent image shared on Instagram on Tuesday, disgraced entertainer Michael Barrymore once again showed he cares more about fame than those suffering with coronavirus.
Known for rolling around on the floor off his skull with the equally pissed-up, convicted racist bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben, Barrymore (born Michael Parker) appeared slumped on the edge of table with a ‘Strike It Lucky’ gameboard. Snapped grinning like the cat that had had too much cream (or boozy sauce in his case), the picture was captioned: “I destroyed the set.”
Michael Barrymore has been pictured inebriated on numerous occasions; his best-known incident was in the company of the especially unctuous helmet haired horror Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben – a vile specimen who was convicted of racially aggravated assault and obstructing a police officer in February 2014.
As Prince Andrew faces the possibility of being sued by victims of Jeffrey Epstein, we again join those asking: “Where’s Ghislaine Maxwell?” Suggestions that she’s on a submarine do seem a bit far-fetched, but you never know…
Whilst Fergie’s been busy making a prized prat of herself mopping floors in an attempt to ‘resonate’ with a populous in panic over a pandemic and her ‘selfless’ daughter has had to yet again postpone her wedding and deal with the ensuing “heartbreak,” things aren’t looking that rosy for the ‘House of Dork’ right now.
Throw in news that Prince Andrew could potentially face legal suits from victims of Jeffrey Epstein – even after they receive payout deals from the late paedophile’s estate – and frankly 2019’s annus horribilis seems like an Austin Powers-esque party. The fact that ‘MeGain’ and a near global lockdown are keeping this wing of the royal family off the front pages (for now) is the biggest lottery win this tawdry collection could ever have hoped for.
The Non-Sweating Prince and the Charwoman – Prince Andrew NOT sweating at Pizza Express (Woking branch) and Sarah, Duchess of York pretending she knows how to use a mop in a kitchen that most definitely hasn’t been visited by the former Meghan Markle’s very, very expensive (publicly funded) interior designers.Lovers of fancy dress and lovers of deviancy (from left to right) – Now jailed sex offender Harvey Weinstein, now deceased paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, currently missing alleged paedophile procurer Ghislaine Maxwell (at a party thrown by Prince Andrew) and now deceased pension plunderer Robert Maxwell (at another party); what an utterly charming and delightful bunch.
Meanwhile, just as Epstein’s most outspoken victim, Virginia Giuffre (née Roberts), quite rightly carries on calling out her abusers on Twitter, theories about the whereabouts of the ‘missing mucky madam’ and ‘procuring queen’ of this sordid saga, Ghislaine Maxwell, continue to do the rounds.
Quite ludicrously in February, the Mirror claimed ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ bombastic “bitch” of a daughter could be “hiding in a submarine.” Nobody mentioned whether she was playing Yellow Submarine down there or if she had Amelia Earhart and Glenn Miller singing along with her, however. After it was more recently claimed that Miss Maxwell has been sheltering at her late mother’s former home, Chateau de la Malartrie, La Roque-Gageac, 24220 Vézac, France, the journalist Laura Goldman came out claiming to the contrary. Yesterday, this supposed “friend” ‘authoritatively’ tweeted: “#GhislaineMaxwell isn’t at her family’s chateau in France.”
Elsewhere, in an open letter published in the somewhat way-out-beyond-wacky title Politicalite on 2nd April, Goldman was described by a group of Epstein’s victims as “a dubious source with a colourful history.” They termed her a woman whom they believed The Sun “[should not] consider a reliable source” and added: “Anything said by Ms. Goldman… presented herewith is not trustworthy.”
With no sightings in the UK or America in months, it has been speculated that this pension’s plunderer’s daughter could have taken refuge in Israel. This theory seems more likely than most and whilst another supposed “chum,” Lady Victoria Hervey, described Maxwell as “like a James Bond character,” nobody with half-a-brain would go as far as to argue she’s even close to being on a level with Ernst Blofeld or Max Zorin.
“Not renowned for having much upstairs” Lady Hervey subsequently stated: “I just don’t believe anyone is going to find her,” but, whatever is the case, there are a lot of outstanding questions awaiting Ghislaine Maxwell. It is now jolly well time this wicked wench turned herself in and it’s jolly well time she faced the music – be it accompanied by a Beatles tune or otherwise.
Pictured top: Disgraced media mogul’s spawn Ghislaine Maxwell with currently-still-a-media mogul Rupert Murdoch.
Virginia Giuffre, a victim of sexual abuse and grooming by Jeffrey Epstein, is not giving up. In a recent tweet she announced: “#TimesUp #PrinceAndrew #GhislaineMaxwell Co-Conspirators – lie through your teeth – the truth is coming out!”A tweet from Laura Goldman claims Ghislaine Maxwell is not at a French chateau belonging to her late mother, Dr Betty Maxwell, but many are now asking: “How does this supposed friend actually know?”
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press (but strangely not including ‘The Sunday Sport’) just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers, have yet again proved themselves as nothing but ridiculous attention seekers suggests Matthew Steeples
In a way you can’t blame the “tone death wastrels” that are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for their latest move. In announcing they’ll childishly be ignoring the likes of the Daily Mail and The Sun completely henceforth, one can fathom that they think that such a strategy will make their ‘problems’ go away. Frankly, these entitled brats will very deservedly find quite to the contrary.
In a statement that appears to have been written by someone with no grasp or command of common sense or correct use of grammar, sent at the height of a global pandemic killing thousands each day, attention seeker ‘MeGain’ has achieved exactly what she wants: A return to herself garnering acres of press attention each and every moment. This mendacious madam has utterly no shame – after all, for her, it’s always just been the “me, me and more about bloody me” show – and in calling her out Andrew Neil is quite right. In a tweet, the veteran broadcaster remarked: “Their solipsism is amazing. Can’t they just consign themselves to oblivion for a while? Or at least hire someone who can write a press release in clear, decent English” and now this wicked wench will find to her cost that the silent majority will agree. We have all heard enough and more and more sympathy is switching to poor old Thomas Markle – a father who has been treated utterly abysmally by a deviant who’d put herself in the White House if she thought it might get herself just a bit more fame.
On Friday, the first hearing relating to Associated Newspapers publishing ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’s’ correspondence to her father is due. Plainly, thus, this badly advised move is related to stoking the media up as part of a strategy to fight that case. It won’t work as the public are not as stupid as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex think, but most amusingly as one Dr Midd pointed out on Twitter: “Notice that Meghan and Harry haven’t included the Sunday Sport in their blacklisting, a victory for quality journalism.”
The full statement from the Duke and Duchess of Sussex:
As the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now settle into the next chapter of their lives and no longer receive any publicly funded support, we are writing to set a new media relations policy, specifically as it pertains to your organisation.
Like you, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex believe that a free press is a cornerstone to any democracy – particularly in moments of crisis. At its best, this free press shines light on dark places, telling stories that would otherwise go untold, standing up for what’s right, challenging power, and holding those who abuse the system to account.
It has been said that journalism’s first obligation is to the truth. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex agree wholeheartedly.
It is gravely concerning that an influential slice of the media, over many years, has sought to insulate themselves from taking accountability for what they say or print – even when they know it to be distorted, false, or invasive beyond reason. When power is enjoyed without responsibility, the trust we all place in this much needed industry is degraded.
There is a real human cost to this way of doing business and it affects every corner of society.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have watched people they know – as well as complete strangers – have their lives completely pulled apart for no good reason, other than the fact that salacious gossip boosts advertising revenue.
With that said, please note that The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not be engaging with your outlet. There will be no corroboration and zero engagement. This is also a policy being instated for their communications team, in order to protect that team from the side of the industry that readers never see.
This policy is not about avoiding criticism. It’s not about shutting down public conversation or censoring accurate reporting. Media have every right to report on The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, good or bad. But it can’t be based on a lie. They also want to be very clear: this is not in any way a blanket policy for all media.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are looking forward to working with journalists and media organisations all over the world, engaging with grassroots media, regional and local media, and young, and up-and-coming journalists, to spotlight issues and causes that so desperately need acknowledging. And they look forward to doing whatever they can to help further opportunities for more diverse and underrepresented voices, who are needed now more than ever.
What they won’t do is offer themselves up as currency for an economy of clickbait and distortion.
We are encouraged that this new approach will be heard and respected.
The publications that the couple will not engage with not engage with henceforth are:
Coronavirus has proved a double blow to restaurateur Keith McNally: First he got the virus himself and now his original restaurant has closed permanently due to it
Currently recovering from coronavirus himself, restaurateur Keith McNally sadly will not be able to fulfill a wish he made in November 2019 of having his last meal at his oldest restaurant, Lucky Strike. He’s just shut it for the final time and blamed the global pandemic for the French-American bistro’s demise.
Of why the “Soho staple” at 59 Grand Street, near West Broadway in New York – which opened in 1989 – has closed permanently, McNally told Eater:
“Due to the COVID-19 crisis, I was unable to find a way to make Lucky Strike work financially. This decision was particularly difficult since many of Lucky Strike’s wonderful staff have worked for me for over 20 years, and some of the customers have been coming since the day we opened: 31 years ago.”
In the same interview last year where he talked about having one last “steak au poivre medium rare” before going to meet his Maker, McNally waxed lyrical about Lucky Strike more generally and in conversation with Food & Wine’s Regina Schrambling commented:
“When I opened Lucky Strike, it was far easier to build a restaurant than nowadays. There weren’t these absurdly strict health rules that are designed as much to rake in money for the city as to make eating in restaurants safer.”
In spite of McNally openly sharing knowledge that Lucky Strike didn’t make a profit as long ago as 2016, he was honest about why he kept it open. “I like the staff…I am fond of all of them,” he stated, but now, sadly, for these pour souls, they’ve only got left GoFundMe left as a means of survival. Meanwhile, on Instagram, of why Lucky Meal had served its last meal, the “Restaurateur Who Invented Downtown’ concluded: “Greedy landlord during lockdown syndrome.”
Criticism of the 29-year-old Duke of Westminster for quietly giving £12.5 million to the UK’s coronavirus response is most unfair; any anger should instead be directed at bailout demanding billionaires like Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green
The richest under thirty in the world, 29-year-old landowner, Hugh Grosvenor, Duke of Westminster has shown generosity in giving £12.5 million to “provide support to NHS staff, key workers and their children and families.”
Quietly announcing his move without seeking any fanfare through his Westminster Foundation on Twitter, the seventh Duke – known to his friends as ‘Hughie’ and like his prison reform campaigner sister, Lady Edwina, credited for being both “low key” and “down to earth” – commented:
“On behalf of my family and everyone at the Grosvenor Estate, I want to say a huge thank you to all our amazing NHS staff and everyone providing critical frontline services. We are all humbled and incredibly grateful that you are working tirelessly to keep us safe and keep the country functioning.”
“NHS staff and key workers don’t work in isolation. They have children and families whose health and wellbeing will also be highly impacted by this crisis. As they keep us safe, I want to help provide as much support to them and their families as we can. Our donation will help create a Family Fund within NHS Charities Together to provide food, respite, rehabilitation and positive mental health support to NHS staff and their families.”
“While the impact of this crisis is being felt immediately, the virus will sadly also affect people’s lives long into the future. That’s why I’m keen to support the longer-term scientific and socio-economic response to the epidemic. Through these donations, my Foundation will work with a range of fantastic charities and organisations who are able to help vulnerable people in the difficult months ahead.”
We join those saluting the Duke of Westminster for his laudable donations and suggest others with similarly large bank balances follow suit. It is now time for the likes of the greedy pigs Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green to take heed of this generous young man’s actions and put a stop to their nefarious demands for government bailouts; instead, they too ought to dip their hands into their very deep pockets and finally put their money where their almightily large mouths are.
ITV’s ‘Quiz’ has definitely left the public questioning the conviction of the ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ £1 million cheat Major Charles Ingram in 2003, but what the programme did not reveal is actually more fascinating
“After all that, can we be sure the Ingrams were guilty?” asked The Telegraph’s Chris Bennion in his review of the final episode of the three-part hit, Quiz, and indeed the ending has achieved the inevitable and will likely reignite interest in a story that dates back to 2001.
For the few that may not remember what occurred, a Major Charles Ingram won the maximum prize of £1 million on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? on the 10th September 2001, the day before the 9/11 attacks on America. Ingram’s wife and her brother, Adrian Pollock, had previously each won £32,000.
Immediately after the jackpot was scooped, the programme’s production company, Celador, suspecting Ingram had cheated suspended payment of the winnings. The police were called in and ultimately, after a four week trial in March and April 2003 at Southwark Crown Court, the Ingrams and another contestant, a lecturer and their alleged accomplice, Tecwen Whittock, were convicted of “procuring the execution of a valuable security by deception.” All three were given prison sentences suspended for two years, fined £15,000 each and ordered to pay £10,000 towards prosecution costs. These sums were later reduced on appeal.
Whilst many will know that Ingram was then forced to resign his commission as a major after 17 years and that he and his wife appeared on countless television shows including The Weakest Link, sadly Quiz did not delve into other bizarre twists in this “eccentric” pair’s life in the time since their “fifteen minutes of coughing fame/shame.”
Aside from being bankrupted four times in the intervening years (most recently in 2019), the former army officer chopped three of his toes off in a freak lawnmower accident in September 2010. Ironically, the “cheat” and then resident of Easterton, Wiltshire did the injury when he “slipped on a rotten apple.” Of the incident, Ingram recalled “lying on the grass” and thinking: “Oh dear… I certainly won’t be mowing any lawns again soon.”
Earlier, yet not long after his Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? conviction in November 2003, Ingram was convicted of an entirely unrelated insurance fraud. Found guilty of obtaining pecuniary advantage by deception and of deception by trying to claim on that policy after an alleged burglary, the already disgraced son of a retired RAF wing commander added a two-year conditional discharge to his burgeoning rap sheet.
The Ingrams, now, but not revealed in the show either, are based in Maiden Bradley, Warminster and run a non-registered for UK VAT company that trades as ‘Diana Ingram.’ It sells Murano glass jewellery for prices ranging from £15 to £75 and of her wares, Mrs Ingram states: “Most products listed can be altered for shape, colour, length, etc., though prices may vary. I ship worldwide and nothing is too much trouble – I regularly offer personalised wrapping and buy and write birthday cards too!” No mention is made as to whether any kind of cheat sheets can be enclosed if requested sadly.
Charles Ingram, meanwhile, has kept himself busy on Twitter since September 2013 using the handle @gallantfive. He describes himself as: “English, Irish, European, Family, Labour, LUFC and proud remainer wanting a fairer world” and has over 7,100 followers. Whilst describing Quiz as “simply brilliant” and “terrifyingly accurate,” his family have plainly had a few visits from the media as a result of the show. Now represented by one Skye Redman at 89up, a firm that somewhat immodestly has self-appointed itself as “Europe’s biggest communications agency for great causes,” the ex-major this week tweeted:
“Media: Please #StayHomeSaveLives. In any event I assure you that doorstepping is wasting your time. My solicitor, Rhona Friedman, is available for comment via phone or video conferencing. For interviews please contact Skye Redman at 89up.”
After the conclusion of Quiz, Friedman told the Guardian: “I just know that they did not do it… I just feel very sorry for them.” She intends to file paperwork associated with the case in the summer “with hopes for a hearing at the end of the year,” and given the reaction of the public after the ending of this week’s dramatisation, one thing’s for sure: We’ve not seen the last of ‘The Coughing Major’ and his ever-so-earnest wife just yet.
Multi-millionaire 5G conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes deserves condemnation for inviting a scion to a billion pound fortune on to ‘This Morning’ to discuss COVID-19 instead of a war hero who has raised £4 million for the NHS
The nation is in the midst of dealing with a pandemic and most of us are sat at home in lockdown. ITV1’s This Morning’s Eamonn Holmes, however, yesterday yet again proved he just simply doesn’t get it. This Irishman illustrated it first in claiming the “mainstream media” (which he gets very handsomely rewarded financially to be part of) was hiding a link between 5G technology and coronavirus and now he’s shown himself up similarly by interviewing billionaires ahead of war heroes.
Quite rightly slammed by scientists as “irresponsible” and “ridiculous,” given his stupid words have resulted in attacks on communications masts by paranoid David Icke-types at a time when they are most needed by emergency services, the overpaid dimwit Holmes yet again excelled himself on Tuesday with a failed attempt at an apology. Then, to cap it all, he followed up with a most inappropriate choice of guests on the lowbrow show he co-presents with his wife, Ruth Langsford.
‘Sorry,’ it seemed was the hardest word for dear little Eamonn to say over ‘5G-gate.’ In fact, he didn’t actually say ‘sorry’ at all and, as the show opened, he casually ignored the fact that there had at that point already been 419 complaints to OFCOM about his recklessness. Instead, this buffoon lackadaisically attempted to suggest it was the viewers’ fault for “misinterpreting” his words and in what the Guardian journalist Marina Hyde wittily later termed a “quarter-arsed clarification” stated:
“Before we go onto the programme, I want to clarify some comments that some of you may have misinterpreted from me yesterday, around conspiracy theories and Coronavirus and this involved the roll out of 5G.”
“Both Alice Beer and myself agreed in a discussion on this very programme on fake news that it is not true that and there is no connection between the present national health emergency and 5G and to suggest otherwise would be wrong and indeed it could be possibly dangerous.”
“Every theory relating to such a connection has been proven to be false and we would like to emphasise that.”
“However, many people are rightly concerned and are looking for answers, and that’s simply what I was trying to impart yesterday but for the avoidance of any doubt I want to make it clear there’s no scientific evidence to substantiate any of those 5G theories.”
Whilst that the self-declared “best presenter in the country” Holmes – a moron whom previously reprehensibly “concluded an interview with a rape victim with the words: ‘I hope you take taxis now’” – was then quite correctly declared a “prick” by Count Binface (formerly Lord Buckethead) on Twitter was not surprising, but that he then chose the daughter of a billionaire as a guest for a segment termed: “Life in Lockdown” represented yet another own goal in the midst of a pandemic that is killing thousands.
On a day when it was revealed that a 99-year-old who had recently had a hip replacement, Captain Tom Moore, had raised a staggering sum for the NHS by doing ten laps of his garden per day, the daytime-show should have done an interview with this hero about his life in lockdown. Instead, the This Morning team opted to allow banshee-like, pyjama-clad Tamara Ecclestone – the irrelevant to ordinary folk scion of a family worth some £4 billion – to sit blabbering on whilst Eamonn Holmes bizarrely and most distastefully referenced her father, a dwarf-like man who once appallingly referenced Hitler as someone who “was able to get things done,” as a “stud muffin.” Anyone sane at this point turned off in utter amazement at this bizarre example of crassness.
Viewers, as was subsequently reported in the Mirror, reacted irately in “slamming” Miss Ecclestone – who claimed to have raised some £666,000 for the NHS via her husband’s art gallery business compared to Captain Moore’s singlehanded and rather more impressive £4 million sum in spite of his years and lack of a PR machine – but they should have gone further and actually condemned Eamonn Holmes for not having invited the former army officer on instead of this self-absorbed harpy.
The public might, just might, then have eased off the pressure on this most moronic man with a brain plainly fried by wireless technology waves. It is now time for Eamonn Holmes to be put out to pasture; but whoever is put in charge must make sure this foolish prat is never located anywhere near a 5G mast.
Lord Buckethead reflected the views of many with his analysis of Eamonn Holmes as a “prick.”Another Twitter user condemned Holmes for choosing Tamara Ecclestone as a guest.Mirror readers were equally irate.Meanwhile, back on Twitter another remarked on the “#COVID19 coping tactics of the rich and shameless.”One Matt Owen pointed out how Holmes has been “wedged-up” by the “mainstream media” for “fuck knows how many years.”A John Sweeney pointed out that Marina Hyde had bitten “the head off the moron Eamonn Holmes” and added: “He deserves it.”Holmes was even referenced as being “like a drunk uncle” who “insults all your neighbours and then falls asleep mid vol-au-vent.”Someone named Stuart Heritage mockingly urged Holmes to: “Fight the power.”
As #SaveTheSunNewspaper trends on Twitter, an analysis of the sorry state of the British press should act as a wake-up call to our nation suggests Matthew Steeples
Yesterday, ‘Save The Sun Newspaper’ was all over Twitter. Those clicking the hashtag were not taken to a page bemoaning the fact that the Rupert Murdoch owned paper has lost £68 million in the last year alone, but to a Go Fund Me campaign that has raised over £16,500 that will be donated to the Essex Coronavirus Action Urgent Food Bank Appeal.
Set up by an Essex based food bank campaigner named Simon Harris, #SaveTheSunNewspaper garnered support because of the intense dislike for a newspaper that some claim is “not fit to wipe their arse with” whilst others (especially the people of Liverpool, a city where it is mostly banned due to their crass reporting of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster) condemn it for its “lies” and “bigoted” reporting.
Whilst the ‘fake’ hashtag was about helping foodbanks, on Sunday night, the Guardian’s Roy Greenslade highlighted a genuine problem for the British press. In an article titled: “Why our newspapers might not survive the contagion of coronavirus,” the media commentator observed: “It is the bleakest of ironies: the biggest news story in a lifetime is killing off the very industry that exists to report it. Coronavirus is destroying newsprint newspapers across Britain, delivering the coup de grace to businesses that were already in the process of dying.”
Whilst it has been for long known that traditional media has struggled to cope and find a way to exist and maintain revenue streams in a period where online and social media have battered it, coronavirus, it appears, will be the death knell for many a print newspaper.
Just like, for example, the restaurant sector, which will likely see many establishments fail to reopen once this pandemic is over due to them not having the resources to get their staff back and pay their rent and suppliers, many print newspapers – most especially local titles – will not weather the storm. As Greenslade points out, “it seems inconceivable that publishers, already struggling to fund journalism, will return to the previous status quo.” Going further, he remarks: “That’s because the status quo was, itself, one of perpetual fragility in which publishers were engaged in the delicate task of managing newsprint decline while, in parallel, seeking to create a digital journalism business model.”
Here comes an epoch of change and with newsrooms across Britain currently completely empty, publishers will indeed start to rationalise when so-called “normality” returns (in whatever form that takes). Expensive city centre offices will be shut and like cancer, profitless titles will most likely be permanently closed down. This will not be a loss that should be glorified and it will not be something that should celebrated; without good journalism, we’ll all be the poorer. Those thinking we can rely on the Twitterati for news are in for an era of the emperor’s new clothes and they’re in for a future where fake news will quite wrongly reign.
Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ – including a return of the best interviewee of the 2019 General election, Pat “I object to everything” Mountain
Back to Basics
“In two months, all the Instamodels will be prostitutes and all the Instapreneurs will be criminals. Just like the old days” – A fair analysis posted on Instagram by @OverheardLondon.
How Suitably Existential
In the Evening Standard: “Alexa Chung said: ‘Since all we can do is pretend, I thought I’d dress as a mime.’” Is there nothing this petulant pest won’t do to get attention?
Carrier Bag Distancing
From the ‘Overheard in Waitrose (The Original Group)’ on Facebook: “When shopping in Waitrose, ensure others shoppers stay the recommended two metres away by taking a Lidl carrier bag with you.”
Jared’s A Doll
American comedian Kathy Griffin on Donald Trump’s nefarious son-in-law Jared Kushner on Twitter: “Looks like a blowup doll nobody wants to f**k.”
Cheery Mountains
A Twitter user going by the name of @_teletext to Adam Boulton of Sky News: “Hi Adam. Can you get Pat Mountain back on Sky News for a chat? I think we all could do with cheering up. Cheers, pal.” As the old bat’s likely quarantined for everyone else’s safety for “coronavirus and beyond,” we again share ‘Nan From Catherine Tate’s-lookalike’s’ interview below. Please, please don’t die crying (with laughter).
Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
Pictured top: The “I object to everything” expert on Brexit, feminism, immigrants, “people jumping out of the shadows at night,” racism and “other racist parties,” religion, the “predicament” of Tommy Robinson and just about all else that isn’t milk bottle white, the great “left-behind realist” who “won’t be entering number 10 Downing Street anytime soon” Pat Mountain.
Mime or Wine? (We know which we’d rather) – Whilst Alexa Chung’s attempt at humour was, as can always be expected of such a tedious wench, a failure (left), this old lady made many laugh in the Facebook chattering spot ‘Overheard in Waitrose (The Original Group).’Kushner Gets Sexual – Comedian Kathy Griffin doesn’t exactly hold back when expressing her thoughts about the appearance of Jared Kushner.
Refugee turned “one-man vodka band” Pleurat Shabani shares a message of positivity (and a reminder that we’ll all be having a martini or three together again soon)
Having escaped the civil war in Croatia, Kosovo born Pleurat Shabani headed to London in 1994. He, unlike Dick Whittington, did not find streets paved with gold but ended up working as a lavatory cleaner and kitchen porter.
Later, forced onto the streets after losing his job at Soho House, Shabani “hit rock bottom” but did not give up. He found a job as a glass washer at Oliver Peyton’s Atlantic Bar & Grill – which ironically was later ‘sunk’ by Marco Pierre White’s Titanic restaurant – and after being promoted to a role as a bartender, began a journey that ultimately resulted in the creation of his own vodka, Konik’s Tail.
Shabini, without the big money backing most spirits brands garnered in the early-to-mid 2000s, is a surprising success story. We reported on it back in 2014 and in spite of his shoestring budget – and the fact he literally had to glue his own footwear together (he considers them “ part of his journey”) – Konik’s Tail is now stocked in everywhere from Dukes Hotel to Waitrose.
Now, at this time of lockdown, the notoriously shy luddite Shabani has taken to social media and on Instagram, a place he’s only posted once before, shared a message of positivity that we should all heed. It follows in full below:
“First of all, I hope this finds you well in these increasingly challenging times of disruption and enormous changes to the daily lives of all of us. Together, we have learnt that passion, optimism and community will help us all come out stronger.”
“The pride of who we are as a community is not part of our past, it defines our present and our future. You have inspired me. Your presence has inspired me. Your friendship has inspired me. And, your stories have inspired me.”
“Together we will succeed and that success will belong to everyone of us. Better days will return. Stools behind the bar might be empty, no late nights, no last calls, but this – you are not forgotten. Our hearts are full of love until we are reunited again. I know we will be with our friends again, with our families again and I know we will share a Konik’s Tail martini again.”
“Spread the love and positive energy, help a friend, even a stranger. Until we meet again, be well, be safe and love each other. My warmest wishes to you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Konik’s Tail Vodka is available from Waitrose for £38 for a 70cl bottle. Thankfully they can still deliver it – so have your chilled martini glasses at the ready.
