The Steeple Times

Tag: MailOnline

  • Shopping the McCann Media Mess

    Shopping the McCann Media Mess

    The latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case have been spun to a media willing to believe utterly preposterous stories suggests Matthew Steeples

    First, at the height of the coronavirus lockdown, German criminal Christian Brueckner was plastered all over the media as the ‘new’ likely person responsible for the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. Though this may indeed be possible (just as Shergar the racehorse may still be dashing round a track somewhere), the development was anything but ‘new’ as we reported in June. Equally, in the time since, no actual concrete evidence has been produced and thus this ‘solution’ has been anything but proven.

     

    Now, this weekend, the MailOnline have reported that “a new witness has come forward to claim that Madeleine McCann is alive and living with a German family on the Algarve.” They do not name the Portuguese woman, but report she saw the by-now teenager in a supermarket just 40 miles from where she disappeared speaking German.

     

    Further muddying waters, they claim the witness cannot actually remember when this incident occurred with the unnamed woman stating: “It was three to four years ago, I can’t be sure exactly,” whilst adding: “When I looked at her eyes, I was sure about what I saw.”

     

    Firstly, one has to ask why not only has this woman not been actually been named and secondly, why she did not mention this earlier? As has so often occurred in this case, this supposed ‘development’ seems far-fetched, yet it has ludicrously attracted significant amounts of media coverage.

     

    Given the combined £2.5 million reward that was originally offered by amongst others Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green, social media users reacted to this unsubstantiated ‘news’ with scepticism with one Twitter user, Andrea Maria Preston, stating:

     

    “Someone else who hasn’t tried to claim the reward. All these people who have sightings/concrete evidence etc. yet don’t want the money.”

     

    She has a point and what also should be remembered is this: If Madeleine McCann were alive and wandering around shops in Dale Winton’s Supermarket Sweep style fashion, wouldn’t someone else have noticed?

     

    Missing Madeleine – Questions STILL without Answers

    Many questions about what happened on the evening of the disappearance of Madeleine McCann remain. Some that have been highlighted by the press and discussed online include:

     

    • Why did Kate McCann refuse to answer 48 questions put to her by the Portuguese police?

     

    • Why were certain records of phone calls on the evening of the disappearance “whoosh-clunked” from the memories of the phones of Mr and Mrs McCann and the ‘Tapas 7’?

     

    • Why did a British sniffer dog sense the smell of a corpse in a cupboard in the apartment from which Madeleine McCann disappeared?

     

    • Why did a sniffer dog also supposedly sense the smell of a corpse in a vehicle hired by the couple a month after the disappearance of their daughter?

     

     

     

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    Shopping the McCann Media Mess – The latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case have been spun to a media willing to believe utterly preposterous stories suggests Matthew Steeples.
    Madeleine McCann disappeared from an unlocked holiday apartment, 5a Rua Dr Agostinho da Silva, Praia da Luz, Portugal on 3rd May 2007. She was aged just three years old and in spite of British authorities spending over £11.75 million on the search for her to date (with further sums from various other sources), nobody has been able to solve the case.
    Shopping the McCann Media Mess – The latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case have been spun to a media willing to believe utterly preposterous stories suggests Matthew Steeples.
    If Madeleine McCann were alive and wandering around shops in Dale Winton’s ‘Supermarket Sweep’ style fashion, wouldn’t someone else have noticed? The suggestion of the unnamed Portuguese woman – whom could not even remember what year she ‘witnessed’ such occur in – does indeed seem utterly preposterous. One is left asking: “Why do the media continually fall for this kind of nonsense?”
  • Dumb & Dumber

    Dumb & Dumber

    The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press (but strangely not including ‘The Sunday Sport’) just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers, have yet again proved themselves as nothing but ridiculous attention seekers suggests Matthew Steeples

    In a way you can’t blame the “tone death wastrels” that are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for their latest move. In announcing they’ll childishly be ignoring the likes of the Daily Mail and The Sun completely henceforth, one can fathom that they think that such a strategy will make their ‘problems’ go away. Frankly, these entitled brats will very deservedly find quite to the contrary.

     

    In a statement that appears to have been written by someone with no grasp or command of common sense or correct use of grammar, sent at the height of a global pandemic killing thousands each day, attention seeker ‘MeGain’ has achieved exactly what she wants: A return to herself garnering acres of press attention each and every moment. This mendacious madam has utterly no shame – after all, for her, it’s always just been the “me, me and more about bloody me” show – and in calling her out Andrew Neil is quite right. In a tweet, the veteran broadcaster remarked: “Their solipsism is amazing. Can’t they just consign themselves to oblivion for a while? Or at least hire someone who can write a press release in clear, decent English” and now this wicked wench will find to her cost that the silent majority will agree. We have all heard enough and more and more sympathy is switching to poor old Thomas Markle – a father who has been treated utterly abysmally by a deviant who’d put herself in the White House if she thought it might get herself just a bit more fame.

     

    On Friday, the first hearing relating to Associated Newspapers publishing ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’s’ correspondence to her father is due. Plainly, thus, this badly advised move is related to stoking the media up as part of a strategy to fight that case. It won’t work as the public are not as stupid as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex think, but most amusingly as one Dr Midd pointed out on Twitter: “Notice that Meghan and Harry haven’t included the Sunday Sport in their blacklisting, a victory for quality journalism.”

     

    The full statement from the Duke and Duchess of Sussex:

     

    As the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now settle into the next chapter of their lives and no longer receive any publicly funded support, we are writing to set a new media relations policy, specifically as it pertains to your organisation.

     

    Like you, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex believe that a free press is a cornerstone to any democracy – particularly in moments of crisis. At its best, this free press shines light on dark places, telling stories that would otherwise go untold, standing up for what’s right, challenging power, and holding those who abuse the system to account.

     

    It has been said that journalism’s first obligation is to the truth. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex agree wholeheartedly.

     

    It is gravely concerning that an influential slice of the media, over many years, has sought to insulate themselves from taking accountability for what they say or print – even when they know it to be distorted, false, or invasive beyond reason. When power is enjoyed without responsibility, the trust we all place in this much needed industry is degraded.

     

    There is a real human cost to this way of doing business and it affects every corner of society.

     

    The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have watched people they know – as well as complete strangers – have their lives completely pulled apart for no good reason, other than the fact that salacious gossip boosts advertising revenue.

     

    With that said, please note that The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will not be engaging with your outlet. There will be no corroboration and zero engagement. This is also a policy being instated for their communications team, in order to protect that team from the side of the industry that readers never see.

     

    This policy is not about avoiding criticism. It’s not about shutting down public conversation or censoring accurate reporting. Media have every right to report on The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, good or bad. But it can’t be based on a lie. They also want to be very clear: this is not in any way a blanket policy for all media.

     

    The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are looking forward to working with journalists and media organisations all over the world, engaging with grassroots media, regional and local media, and young, and up-and-coming journalists, to spotlight issues and causes that so desperately need acknowledging. And they look forward to doing whatever they can to help further opportunities for more diverse and underrepresented voices, who are needed now more than ever.

     

    What they won’t do is offer themselves up as currency for an economy of clickbait and distortion.

     

    We are encouraged that this new approach will be heard and respected.

     

    The publications that the couple will not engage with not engage with henceforth are:

     

    Daily Express

     

    Daily Mail

     

    Daily Mirror

     

    express.co.uk

     

    Mail on Sunday

     

    MailOnline, including US outlet DailyMail.com

     

    mirror.co.uk

     

    Sunday Express

     

    Sunday Mirror

     

    Sunday People

     

    The Sun

     

    The Sun on Sunday

     

    thesun.co.uk

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
    Dumb & Dumber – Duke and Duchess of Sussex score yet another own goal – The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, in stoking a new war with the press, have yet again proved themselves to be ridiculous attention seekers just prior to the commencement of their case against Associated Newspapers.
  • United in Plastic

    United in Plastic

    ‘Bride of Wildenstein’ Jocelyn Wildenstein reunites with her lover Lloyd Klein; the plastic faced couple will marry at some point in the future

     

    Yesterday, the world’s ugliest woman announced she is to marry the world’s vainest man in an exclusive feature in the DailyMail.com.

     

    According to the paper, Jocelyn Wildenstein – a New York based billionairess by divorce commonly known as the ‘Bride of Wildenstein’ and ‘Catwoman’ due to her hideous feline-like face – will not actually marry her on-off fashion designer boyfriend, Lloyd Klein, until next year and also revealed: “You never know if you’re ready for a relationship.”

     

    In the frankly ghastly interview with someone named Ben Ashford, Klein – whose startled looks also are also no doubt the result of a few visits to surgeons and scalpels – declared he himself designed the multi-million dollar 32-carat diamond ring he gave to Wildenstein and revealed he gave it to her at the Miami home where Gianni Versace was murdered on the twentieth anniversary of his death last month. He commented: “I said: ‘Jocelyn this was the day Versace died and this the day we will live.’”

     

    Pictured above: Jocelyn Wildenstein looking her normal scary self and Lloyd Klein after he had his now fiancée’s fingers dug into his skin.

     

  • Moron of the Moment – Andre Walker

    Moron of the Moment – Andre Walker

    Braggart bigot Andre Walker disgraces himself in the wake of the London attacks and is rightly roasted on Twitter

    Andre Walker – a “fat, northern… bit of a bruiser” with a penchant for branding The Steeple Times “fake news” – loves attention. He doesn’t care how he gets it, doesn’t care about what offence he causes and aside from wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap to a rally against the 45th POTUS earlier this year, this total pillock decided yesterday to share an image on Twitter of himself waving a cutlass sword on the terrace of the Palace of Westminster in the wake of the latest terror attack in London. It was accompanied by a provocative caption that read: “A bounty on my head. Any #ISIS terrorist that kills me gets £50k. I’ll give my address. No police. But I’ve got a sword. Good luck”.

     

    ‘Whackjob Walker’ – a former “political staffer” turned employee of the far-right Breitbart News rant sheet and more recently Jared Kushner’s New York based Observer – naturally wrote about why he opted to share the image in a column provocatively titled: “Today I Offered the Islamic State £50,000 to Kill Me”. Being, and here I won’t mince my words, a complete cock, he then delighted in the controversy he caused and remarked: “I love this” and “I’m up for it”.

    Moron of the Moment – Braggart bigot Andre Walker disgraces himself in the wake of the latest London terror attack and is rightly roasted on Twitter.

    Despite being forced to remove the highly insensitive image, which was rightly branded a “bizarre stunt” by the MailOnline, last week’s The Steeple Times ‘Wally of the Week’ Walker – whose previous moments of note have included being caught ranting on trains and involvement in the bullying scandal that resulted in the suicide of his supposed boyfriend, Elliott Johnson – remains unrepentant. On Sunday night, he bleated: “I don’t get why the left hate me for hating terrorists”.

     

    A selection of responses from Twitter users to this Grade A buffoon’s idiocy follow:

     

  • Morons of the Moment – Piccadilly Boy Racers

    Morons of the Moment – Piccadilly Boy Racers

    Insensitive showoffs wreak havoc in Parliament Square with their gaudy supercars; they claimed to be honouring the dead and injured of the Westminster attack but simply caused annoyance

     

    Though five people died and around fifty others were injured as a result of Khalid Masood smashing his rented 4×4 into them on Westminster Bridge on 22nd March, a group of insensitive showoffs decided it would be appropriate to cause gridlock with their gaudy supercars in Parliament Square on Sunday.

     

    Shabs Ahmad, a spokesman for the group, which is known as the Piccadilly Boy Racers, told the MailOnline:

     

    “Following recent attacks in Westminster which cost the lives of innocent civilians as well as PC Keith Palmer, we felt it was only right to pay our condolences and show our love by standing united to oppose the atrocious acts of violence”.

     

    “We felt that being British Muslims with a platform, we wanted to speak up against such acts and bring people of all race and religion together as a symbol of peace, love and unity”.

     

    The police felt quite differently about their presence and told these ridiculous vulgarians to swiftly to move on.

     

    Morons of the Moment – Piccadilly Boy Racers – Insensitive showoffs cause havoc in Parliament Square with their gaudy supercars. The Piccadilly Boy Racers should be ashamed of themselves.

  • Out of their class

    Out of their class

    Mid Devon District Council ban the use of apostrophes in street signage

     

    First, Waterstone’s announced that they’d be ditching the apostrophe in their name to become Waterstones and now Mid Devon District Council are embarking on the same ludicrous course of action with regard to street signs.

     

    Watch out street signs... Mid Devon District Council are about
    Watch out street signs… Mid Devon District Council are about

    Stating that they wish to “reduce potential confusion”, council officers have argued that their move is “practical” and wise. They even go as far as to suggest ditching grammatical tradition will make things easier in “emergency situations”.

     

    How so? We think that their proposal is ridiculous and frankly all it highlights is that these officials are plainly just badly educated. The best course of action would be to take them off the job and simply send them back to the classroom.

  • The Savile defence

    The Savile defence

    Hugo Istay discovers Jimmy Savile’s most unlikely advocates: The Daily Mail

     

    Here are some quotes from that bastion of the country’s morals, The Daily Mail. Apparently Jimmy Savile had been collecting ones like these for years to aid his defence should the proverbial hit the fan.

     

    A screenshot of the somewhat “sexed-up” first version of the MailOnline article

    A screenshot of the somewhat “toned-down” second version of the MailOnline article

     

    He was going to kick off his case with:

     

    “Elle Fanning looks all grown up at 14.”

     

    And then follow up with:

     

    “She may be only 14, but rising star Elle Fanning isn’t counting on her good genes or youth to keep her slim. Wearing black cropped spandex jazz dance pants and orange Nike trainers, the little sister of Dakota had obviously been letting loose in the dance studio as her usually silky hair was hanging down in a sweaty tangle.”

     

    No sexual innuendo there, then.

     

    Next, he’d add:

     

    ”Dressed in a satin babydoll-style top, black skinny jeans and patent peep-toe wedges, Elle looked mature beyond her 14 years.”

     

    Or this:

     

    “She has a maturity that belies her years, so sometimes it’s difficult to remember that Elle Fanning is only fourteen years old.”

     

    And, if all else failed:

     

    “The 14-year-old took to Instagram to share a photograph of her Halloween outfit and wasn’t afraid to flaunt her curves for the camera.”

     

    He then planned to sum up with:

     

    “So it wasn’t my fault M’Lud, I was misled and egged on by the Daily Mail.”

     

    Maybe there should be a crime of journalistic paedophilia.

     

    Read the Mail Online’s original (now edited) article at: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2226294/Halloween-2012-Elle-Fanning-pays-homage-New-Yorks-Statue-Liberty.html

     

    This article was originally published on Hugo Istay’s blog. Follow him at: http://hugoistay.wordpress.com/

  • To the manor born

    To the manor born

    The Manor, Bucklebury: a house that shortly may become home to Carole and Michael Middleton

     

    First reported by The Daily Telegraph’s “Mandrake” columnist Richard Eden in May, the talk of today is that The Duchess of Cambridge’s parents, Carole and Michael Middleton, have just purchased a Georgian manor house at Bucklebury in West Berkshire.

     

    The exterior of The Manor, Bucklebury, Reading, West Berkshire, RG7 6RP

    The eastern side of the house includes a steel framed garden room

    The property’s formal gardens with parkland beyond

     

    Currently owned by a Morgan Stanley banker named Justin Mason and his landscape artist wife, Jill, The Manor was subject to a bidding war featuring four parties and has now been taken off the market. Agents Savills have refused to confirm the name of the winning bid but this morning’s Mail Online claims the Middletons, who are said to be worth some £30 million from their Party Pieces empire, have “triumphed” and are paying some £4.7 million for the property. It was last sold in 2001 for circa £1.8 million.

     

    The house’s formal drawing room

    The family kitchen complete with full sized AGA

     

    Featuring 7 bedrooms, 5 reception rooms, a swimming pool and tennis court, The Manor is set in 18.9 acres and situated 8.8 miles from Newbury. The Grade II listed house merges “contemporary and traditional styles” of décor and a main feature is a large kitchen that the agents describe as being “the heart of the house.” One could, indeed, imagine Mrs Middleton cooking up a feast fit for a future King in this vast room.

     

    The current Middleton family residence: Oak Acre, The Avenue, Bucklebury, Reading, Berkshire, RG7 6NS

    Carole and Michael Middleton on the driveway of their current home

     

    Whilst many and most especially the Daily Mail mock this family, and if indeed they are the purchasers of The Manor, it is most certainly a most fitting residence for them. Their next step on the Monopoly board is much deserved.

     

    For more information on The Manor, Bucklebury contact Michael Gatehouse of the Newbury office of Savills on +44 (0) 1635 277700 or email [email protected]