The Steeple Times

Tag: gays

  • Picture of the Week: A map with a difference

    Picture of the Week: A map with a difference

    Matthew Steeples discovers a map of London with a difference

     

    On the 16th October, an actor named Adam Lilley Tweeted an image based on a simplified version of a map of the London Underground. The creator had adapted it so that the names of the stations supposedly are indicative of what they believe the area around each station is best summed up by. Plainly it amused as over 4,000 Retweeted it.

     

    A revised version of the London Underground map
    Adam Lilley’s revised London Underground Map has been Retweeted 4,136 times

    Knightsbridge is replaced by “posh shops” and South Kensington is all about “dinosaurs.” Westminster becomes “Big Ben” and Notting Hill Gate is simply “Hugh Grant.” Bethnal Green is replaced with “curry” and Leicester Square, “films.” Somewhere south of the river is simply “XXL” and out in Essex, another station is renamed “skinny jeans.” Irony is the order of the day.

     

    Stephen Walter’s “London Subterranea”
    The section of the map detailing the exploits of “the acid bath murderer”
    And the section all Sloane Rangers should examine more closely

    Altering maps in this manner is nothing new and an especially brilliant one I saw at Christie’s in Old Brompton Road in their 3rd September sale depicted the location of events and discoveries I’d never heard of. In Stephen Walter’s London Subterranea, for example:

     

    –       The basement of 79 Gloucester Road was the location of the discovery of an “acid bath murderer” who killed at least 6 and is suspected of 15 murders. According to the depiction, he killed someone named “McSwan ‘ere and poured the remains down a manhole, reducing his body to sludge.”

    –       Harvey Nichols is shown as a plague pit.

    –       Brompton Oratory is described as aa “MI6 agent meeting place and dead letter office.”

     

    Such maps provide a little light relief and for that reason we make Lilley’s image The Steeple Times picture of the week. We invite readers to submit their very own versions. We shall publish the best.

     

    View Adam Lilley’s website at: http://www.adamlilley.com Follow him on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/adamski1974

     

    Please send your versions to: [email protected]

     

     

  • Picture of the Week: Sinking and stupid

    Picture of the Week: Sinking and stupid

    A pair of pillocks piddling about in a puddle

     

    All of us who drive have made stupid mistakes but most of us, at worst, have knocked over a gatepost or pranged a door in a supermarket car park.

     

    Our picture of the week: Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow on the roof of their Range Rover

    A couple named Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow, however, take the biscuit. This idiotic pair of millionaires, who are best known for having had five children by a surrogate and for having run a business into liquidation, somehow thought they could drive through a flooded ford in their Range Rover Sport in the early hours of the morning without incident.

     

    The pair, who’d spent the day filming at a most naff sounding event named Essex Fashion Week with the “stars” of The Only Way is Essex, claimed that their vehicle spun around three times before starting to fill up with water. Barrie Drewitt-Barlow told the Mail Online:

     

    “It went dark. We had to climb out of the window. I thought I was going to die.”

     

    Plainly terrified of getting his “tuxedo” wet, Tony Drewitt-Barlow called the emergency services from the roof and supposedly, with the help of a police helicopter, an inflatable boat and fifteen firefighters, the couple were rescued an hour later.

     

    A boat rescues the pair from the roof of their Range Rover Sport
    The car remained in the water on the following day
    Tony and Barrie Drewitt-Barlow pictured outside Southwark Crown Court last year

    Now, instead of issuing an apology for the havoc their recklessness caused, the Drewitt-Barlows’ are bleating:

     

    “Tony is suffering from shock and hypothermia at the moment from having over an hour on the roof,” stated Barrie Drewitt-Barlow before he added:

     

    “We went back yesterday to rescue some personal belongings from the boot, a couple of photo albums, clothes, and my laptop, but they had all been stolen. My laptop had all of our photos on. We have put a £5,000 reward up for the return of the photos and laptop.”

     

    Maybe their possessions floated away. They must have left the windows open when they exited the vehicle and if the car really did fill with water, the computer and photo albums would be ruined anyway.  Either way, whether stolen or not, the lack of gratitude of this couple showed towards their rescuers makes them utterly contemptible. After all, how much did this ridiculous episode cost?

     

    One comment left on the Mail Online described the Drewitt-Barlow’s as a pair of “pillocks in a puddle.” We agree and simply had to make the image of this ludicrous couple’s foolishness The Steeple Times picture of the week.

     

    Read the Mail Online’s coverage of this story at: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2214157/Millionaire-gay-fathers-rescued-roof-Range-Rover-wearing-tuxedoes-trying-drive-flooded-road.html

     

     

  • Andrew Embiricos (1985 – 2011)

    Andrew Embiricos (1985 – 2011)

    A descendant of the Aga Khan and the grandson of Rita Heyworth. Gregarious and witty Embiricos was passionate about flying and worked for Virgin Atlantic. His departure came far too soon.

  • The Rt. Hon. Theresa May MP

    The Rt. Hon. Theresa May MP

    She called the Conservative Party the “Nasty Party” in a speech in 2002 and now Theresa May makes for a pretty nasty Prime Minister herself. Gaffe prone May failed to appeal to the police in May 2012 when they heckled her at the Police Federation conference and was too busy hosting a party with Lady Meyer later that month to deal with problems at Britain’s borders. Ken Clarke once described her as “childlike”, Joan Collins has made a fool of her on Twitter and it is for dressing like Worzel Gummidge that this hectoring vicar’s daughter is known best. Please, someone, just shoe her out.

     

  • Michael Savage (born Michael Alan Weiner)

    Michael Savage (born Michael Alan Weiner)

    The Savage Nation radio host calls himself an “independent-minded individualist” who “fits no stereotype.” (more…)

  • The Rt. Hon. Gregory Barker (AKA “Greg Barker”)

    The Rt. Hon. Gregory Barker (AKA “Greg Barker”)

    Gregory BarkerGregory Barker worked for Roman Abramovich at the Sibneft Oil Group and as Energy Minister, took his daschund, Otto, to work at the Houses of Parliament. A Conservative Member of Parliament between 2001 and 2015, Barker lives between Notting Hill and Sussex and is widely cited as the architect of David Cameron’s “green conservatism”.

     

  • The Rt. Hon. The Lord Archer

    The Rt. Hon. The Lord Archer

    Jeffrey’s invented a lot of tales but is rightly renowned for spinning them brilliantly. This former politician wrote some brilliant diaries whilst in prison and now is mostly likely to be found doing charitable deeds. His shepherd’s pie and Krug parties are still the stuff of legends.

  • Rebekah Brooks

    Rebekah Brooks

    The youngest editor of a British national newspaper and a former wife of Eastender Ross Kemp. Educated in Warrington but now more likely to be found enjoying a day trip on a private jet to Venice. A true survivor who should not yet be written off.