Tag: England

  • Urs Schwarzenbach

    Urs Schwarzenbach

    This Swiss born son of a printer has spent over £85 million buying up properties in the Henley-on-Thames area of Oxfordshire. Schwarzenbach also owns 123,000 acres in Australia, 26,000 acres in Scotland and has his own polo team, the Black Bears. This financier’s foreign exchange dealership, Interexchange, is the biggest in Switzerland and betting against the dollar has brought much success. He supposedly even named his Gulfstream G650 “George” as “ultimately it was Bush who paid for it.” Whilst Schwarzenbach’s Grand Hotel Dolder in Zurich wins plaudits galore. an investment in Mayfair’s Café Grand Prix was less successful. It is, however, for philanthropy and discretion that Schwarzenbach and his wife, a former Miss Australia, are known best.

  • Andrey Borodin

    Andrey Borodin

    This billionaire former president of the Bank of Moscow lives in exile in London and is on the Interpol Red Notices wanted list as a suspect in a £136 million (13 billion rouble) fraud. (more…)

  • Hugh Bonneville

    Hugh Bonneville

    In his role as Downton Abbey’s Lord Grantham, this actor warned that “scandals” always have a habit of coming out. He graduated in Theology at Cambridge but, according to Adam Helliker of the Daily Express, Bonneville wasn’t especially keen to show Christian compassion towards Lord Archer at a party at The Cadogan Hotel when it was requested that the pair be photographed together.

  • Cows don't wear Rolexes

    Cows don't wear Rolexes

    Charles Mitford Cust asks: “Do the clocks really need to go back?”

     

    Yesterday, once again, the clocks went back and now we are officially in winter. As is always the case on this sad annual occasion, I am left asking myself why we have do something so apparently illogical and what are the origins of this extraordinary ritual.

     

    These “hairy beasties” definitely govern the clock rather than being governed by it

     

    I used to think it all started in World War Two but, in fact, having done some research, it transpires that we very sensibly did the exact opposite during the war years. Between 1940 and 1945 and also in 1947, we actually switched to “British Double Summer Time” (BDST). Why? We did so to save precious fuel as it was in limited supply. That should strike a chord today, don’t you think?

     

    You bet it should. Supporters of BDST point out that 500,000 tonnes of CO2 would be saved this year if instead of putting the clocks back yesterday, we’d left them alone and then put them forward one further hour in the spring, thereby achieving British Double Summer Time (BDST). Half a million tonnes of CO2… Wow! That is the equivalent of permanently removing 185,000 cars from the road. Hang on, aren’t we meant to be concerned about the environment these days or am I missing something?

     

    Where are the eco-warriors? Surely they should be screaming from the rooftops about CO2 savings like this. This makes all their bleating about wind turbines and solar panels seem stupid. Unlike these alternative energy sources, which we all know are only viable thanks to taxpayer subsidies, putting the clocks forward is free, and you can’t get anything greener than a free CO2 reduction. Yet strangely there is barely a whisper from the normally most vocal section of the green orchestra. Now, I am no conspiracy theorist, but I cannot help but feel that this is highly odd if not darn right suspicious.

     

    There have always been myths concerning BDST, including strong if vague references to the requirements of farming being the reason for us being plunged into darkness earlier than necessary. This is something that, as a countryman, I have always found puzzling.

     

    Farmers do not rely on the time indicated on their watches to go about their business. They do what their ancestors have done for thousands of years: they operate from first light to last light. The time that happens to be recorded on a watch face is all but irrelevant to them because unlike 90 per cent of the population, they do not have to catch trains or commute to work. What’s more, cows don’t wear watches, they just know when they want to be milked and they don’t care what Mr Rolex has to say about it.

     

    Interestingly though, even this well used excuse seems to have been run off the road. In March 2010, in a survey of their membership, the National Farmers Union found that most respondent farmers were neutral about BDST and actually the only strong representation was from members supporting longer daylight in winter.

     

    Another long-term excuse is that children in the north of Britain would be in more danger walking to school in the mornings if it were dark. “Walking to school?” When was the last time a kid walked to school in this country? 1951? Seriously though, with traffic density as it is today, no responsible parent would let their child walk to school even if they could do so. As Lord Archer has pointed out, this is outdated nonsense and therefore not a viable excuse for rejecting BDST.

     

    The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA), the RAC and the AA have campaigned for years to reintroduce BDST as they argue that police accident records clearly indicate that more accidents occur in the dark evenings during rush hour when tired commuters are returning from work than when they are fresh in the mornings. According to their research, they estimate 600 lives per year could be saved. 600 lives: that’s the equivalent of a bloody massacre. The government moved heaven and earth to ban competitive handgun target shooting when 30 people were killed but have routinely ignored 600 lives per year for decades? What are these politicians doing?

     

    A Conservative Member of Parliament, Rebecca Harris, put forward the Daylight Saving Bill 2010-12. It was debated in November 2011 and January 2012, but despite being supported by “Call Me Dave” himself, it was filibustered out of Parliament by largely Scottish based members who argued it would disadvantage Scotland.

     

    These politicians used this argument despite a 2010 survey of 3,000 Scots indicating that they were actually in favour of BDST. I guess Scots like to save money on their heating bills too: oh, there’s a surprise. Anyway, the efforts of these objectors were enough to ensure that the bill’s time was used up and it will now proceed no further.

     

    What? That’s it? 500,000 tonnes of CO2 and 600 lives a year swept under the carpet because a couple of whingeing Scottish MPs are out of touch with their the views of their own constituents? Does that sound right to you? Even if they didn’t vote for BDST, which with fuel prices the way they are, being canny Scots, they almost certainly would, why can’t Scotland have it’s own time zone? Many of them want independence, so here’s a good start. As an aside, evidence also shows that if Scots did adopt BDST, their suicide rate would drop dramatically as the statistics show this is clearly linked to long dark winter nights.

     

    Either way, we have reached a point where political correctness simply has to be outweighed by common sense. You cannot let 85 per cent of the UK population suffer for the sake of the other 15 per cent. What of the adverse affect this is having on GNP at a time when the economy is struggling so much?

     

    The thing about this clock moving business is that the more you search for answers, the more questions you are left asking. One is forced to conclude that it is either a deeply sinister conspiracy involving multi-billion pound energy companies who would rather we carried on paying for an extra half a million tonnes of unnecessary smog, or simply an old fashioned British farce of monstrous proportions.

     

    All in all, I’m left rather perplexed. What’s your view? Isn’t it time that something changed?

  • Richard Mason

    Richard Mason

    This talented author was born in South Africa but educated at Eton and New College, Oxford. The Drowning People, his first novel, gained him a “vast” advance and was published during his first year at university. It’s been translated into 22 languages and has sold over 3 million copies. Richard Mason funds a foundation in memory of his sister that pays for gifted South African children from poor backgrounds to attend the country’s top private schools and with a writing style that’s been compared to “Henry James on Viagra”, he’s definitely got many more pages to pen. An early critic, who told him he “should have killed [himself] rather than publish”, is now writing reviews of home décor shows.

     

  • Video of the Week: The Queen morphs

    Video of the Week: The Queen morphs

    The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds

     

    This week we must thank Dan Large for having alerted us to an amazing YouTube video showing Her Majesty The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds.

     

    Elizabeth II

    Created by “an old retired guy who likes to play with computers” named “HerBunk” and using the technological wizardy of FantaMorph, the video has attracted nearly 6,000 likes and 300 dislikes. We look forward to hearing what readers of The Steeple Times make of it.

     

    Watch the video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8nJhG1xE5o&feature=share

  • Wafic Saïd

    Wafic Saïd

    This billionaire was born in Damascus in 1939 and declares his loves to be music, architecture, art and horse racing. His home is the £50 million neo-Georgian mansion Tusmore Park near Bicester in Oxfordshire and he supposedly paid Robbie Williams in excess of a million to perform at his daughter’s May 2012 wedding to PR Khaled Khawaja at The Palace of Versailles. Saïd was one of Margaret Thatcher’s biggest supporters but is also said to have been a confidant of Peter Mandelson. As chairman of Saïd Holdings Limited, he presides over an empire with investments in hedge funds and real estates but he’s better known for the £23 million endowment he provided to establish the Saïd Business School in Oxford in 1996.

  • Delia Smith CBE

    Delia Smith CBE

    “The Delia Effect” is well known and when this English cook taught her viewers how to cook an egg in 1998, sales rocketed by 10% overnight. Worth some £23 million, she’s also endorsed Aunt Bessie’s mashed potatoes and supported the Labour Party. Smith was baptised into the Church of England but attended a Methodist Sunday School. She later joined a Congregationalist Brownie Group but converted to the Roman Catholic Church at the age of 22. Together with her husband, Michael Wynn-Jones, she is a majority shareholder in Norwich City Football Club and it is here whilst supporting “The Canaries,” that’s she’s known to get a little carried away with her use of the English language.

  • Sir Benjamin Slade Bt.: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Sir Benjamin Slade Bt.: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks the right-wing businessman and owner of Maunsel House and Woodlands Castle, Sir Benjamin Slade: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

    Money, power, sex, success, land, trees, books and fine wine.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    “If it f**ks, floats or flies: Rent it, don’t buy it and don’t marry it!”

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?

    David Cameron and Sir Mervyn King.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    Being in London full-time.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    Good health and two healthy sons.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    It’s like putting bartenders on commission and allowing them to give credit to alcoholics who die and go bankrupt.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    I’ve got three: 1. “Sustainability.” 2. “Stakeholder.” 3. “Human rights.”

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    UKIP and Help for Heroes.

     

    The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    They are useful for ringing up if late, doing deals and arranging dinners with girls.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    Warren Buffett, Bobby Faber, Philip Gibbs, Bettany Hughes, Brian Kingham, Lady Kitchener-Fellowes, Francis Fulford, Robert Lyle, Sir John Madejski, David Ord, General Sir Michael Rose, Roger Seelig, Alexander Stockton, Jonathan Sumption PC, Norman Tebbit, Lord Westbury, the Duke of Westminster and Mrs William Worsley.  Adrian de Ferranti can sit in the luggage car and serve wine.

     

    Sir Benjamin Slade Bt.

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    It’d have to be at La Tour d’Argent in Paris.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    1pm and 6pm.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    Green tea.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    Sotheby’s and Christie’s and those hosted by Liz Floyd and Philip Gibbs.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    My friend Bobby Faber.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Drinking claret at £100 per bottle.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    A big castle with lots of walnut trees, good books and bottles of wine. And girls’ hips.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    A Ford Fiesta.

     

    Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I’m self-made, have a great knowledge of history and am a seriously good doctor with over 120 patients. And, you’ll be surprised to learn that I was a spy in the Middle East for Britain.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    Tankards, invites, various Mouser and Walther pistols, cows horns, Roman artifacts, decanters, pewter cups, silver, an 18th century bottle of port and a Russian machine gun.

     

    Maunsel House, North Newton, Near Taunton, Somerset, TA7 0BU. Telephone: +44 (0) 1278 661076. Website: http://www.maunselhouse.co.uk

     

    Woodlands Castle, Ruishton, Taunton, Somerset, TA3 5LU. Telephone: +44 (0) 1823 444955. Website: http://www.woodlandscastle.co.uk

     

    Read Sir Benjamin Slade’s blog at: http://sirbenslade.blogspot.co.uk/ and follow him on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/sirbenslade

  • “Grockles” and “Emmets”

    “Grockles” and “Emmets”

    Matthew Steeples discovers Michael Winner’s links to descriptions of unwelcome “out of towners”

     

    My last linguistic rambling explored two words, “plebs” and “ladettes,” that, like Andrew Mitchell MP, truly need to be eliminated from our culture. The next two in this series, “grockles” and “emmets,” have far more amusing origins and truly sum up the eccentricities of those living in the South of England.

     

    I was led to believe that the word “grockle” was an ancient description of “those not from round here,” but having done a little research I now discover that it actually emanates from the 20th century The Dandy’s comic strip, “Danny and the Grockle.”

     

    “Grockles” and caravans commonly go together
    “The Girl-Getters” (AKA “The System”) starred Oliver Reed, Jane Merrow, Barbara Ferris, Harry Andrews and Julia Foster and was directed by Michael Winner

    The Dandy’s “grockle” was nothing other than a dragon like creature. There wasn’t anything more to the beast and it wasn’t until 1964 that the term became popularised when it was used in a film set in the Devon resort of Torquay. In The System (renamed The Girl-Getters for the US market), starring Oliver Reed and directed by Michael Winner, one of the characters states:

     

    “Bloody grockles and their caravans, always jamming up the Devon lanes!”

     

    Henceforth, the word became forevermore linked to tourists and thus we can hold Michael Winner responsible for bringing it to the world’s attention. Winner, who describes, himself as: “A totally insane film director, writer, producer, silk shirt cleaner, bad tempered, totally ridiculous example of humanity in deep shit” really should proudly add a reference to this to his Twitter handle.

     

    Other definitions of the “grockle” are more specific and an especially amusing one separates these interlopers very clearly:

     

    “It’s used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists; those with caravans; those with five kids, a dog, a grandad tagging along and those that have been coming to town for twenty years and think they know and own the place.”

     

    The same commentator on this term continues:

     

    “Someone holidaying in Christchurch who’s from Southampton isn’t a grockle… Foreign tourists aren’t [grockles] either as these generally tend to be considerate people when traveling and don’t make a nuisance of themselves… However, when I went to Puerto Banus near Marbella, I’d heard it was very exclusive but it was full of grockles still.”

     

    The word is now so recognised that it was used in an a 2010 article in The Sunday Times about the sale of Lord Cowdray’s £25 million home in West Sussex:

     

    “Bar a few open-garden events, the Cowdrays have never allowed visitor access to the property, so the eventual buyer won’t have to endure grockles coming up the drive.”

     

    Whilst we have discovered that a “grockle” is a pretty general term, in Cornwall they have a more specific variation. The Cornish use the pejorative nickname “emmet” for tourists.

     

    Derived from the Cornish language word for “ant,” the “emmet” is an analogy for the way in which both tourists and ants are often red in colour and appear to mill around. “Emmets,” it seems, are nuisances who get in the way and whom the locals would rather weren’t there.

     

    Michael Winner wearing a T-shirt complete with his trademark phrase: “Calm down dear”… In this case he states: “It’s only a recession” but we do think he ought to also get one stating: “Calm down dear, they’re only grockles, they’re not from round ‘ere”

    Be they a “grockle” or an “emmet,” tourists may well generate millions in revenue for the people of the South West but still, as many a local will say: “They’re not welcome round ‘ere.” I’m sure many a restaurateur feels similarly when Mr Michael Winner lands on his doorstep.

     

    Grockles away.

     

    View Michael Winner’s official website at: http://www.michael-winner.com/

     

    Follow Michael Winner on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/mrmichaelwinner