Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away
Aside from consoling himself with the weak warblings of morose ministers who’ve been drafted out to lackadaisically laud him, most would suggest Dominic Cummings is the loneliest man in politics this Sunday. Instead, in reality – though no one’s got around to publicly saying it (yet) – this modern day Mandelson could still prove to be Boris Johnson’s most useful asset.
Hidden away somewhere deep in Downing Street in his beanie hat, this lookalike of Compo from Last of the Summer Wine crossed with Michael Kelly as Doug Stamper in the House of Cards has achieved one very important thing this weekend: Cummings has made the tawdriest elements of the Jennifer Arcuri story disappear from Sunday’s front pages.
Whilst Cummings’ wife, Mary Wakefield, certainly didn’t help the initial narrative with her clearly confused and contradictory account of how the pair had lived during their time with coronavirus in The Spectator, she certainly set in place curiosity as to where and in the company of whom the PM’s closest henchman had been sleeping. Then, when this Oxford graduate went “off on one” with his arrogant utterings as he clambered into his Land Rover Discovery yesterday, Cummings actually pulled a blinder.
Subsequent revelations as to whether the senior adviser to the Prime Minister attempted a rendition of Theresa May’s “wandering in the wheat fields” and boogied in the bluebells are surprisingly neither here nor there. Aside from quite rightly exciting anger from the public due to his hypocrisy, Cummings, in true Machiavellian fashion, has instead just shifted the news agenda away from BoJo’s very own bedroom behaviour.
In a clear example of the ‘distraction technique’ coming into play, Cummings’ travails have made everyone forget the sordid sexual relations ‘Bonking Boris’ had with the American founder of Hacker House. According to a most reliable source close to Downing Sttreet, Arcuri – a woman whom believes she has “been thrown under a bus” by her former lover – was about to give a “kiss-and-tell,” but has now retreated to her bunker. For now, ‘Bungling Boris’ can stay home and stay safe; the blabbering bird has (for now) been belted-up.
Pictured top: The finest examples of modern day distraction technique spinners in politics (both in reality and in fiction) have to be Dominic Cummings and Doug Stamper.
(Not So) Sexy Time with Jen and Dom – Jennifer Arcuri’s alleged attempt to kiss-and-tell about her indoor activities with Boris Johnson were supposedly put on hold this weekend due to the outdoor antics of Dominic Cummings dominating the news.
Elsewhere on social media and taking a break from sharing his enjoyment of Vimto and dislike of Jeremy Clarkson, the “laureate for our fractured times” turned Pan Macmillan published novelist Brian Bilston shared a poem he’d prepared about Mr Cummings. It follows.
Tweedle Deviant and Tweedle Deviant – Is Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s brotherhood of bumbling balls-ups about to be brought to an end? The public are most definitely braying for blood.
Richard Branson’s decision to re-allow the ‘Daily Mail’ on his trains proves him to be nothing but a lying self-publicist
Sir Richard Branson yet again has proven himself to be nothing but a self-obsessed, self-publicising cretin. That this self-proclaimed “entrepreneur” has reneged on his company’s decision to ban the Daily Mail on his trains is indicative of not only his desire to keep himself in the news at any cost but also of the fact that this national disgrace has utterly no moral compass.
Devious Branson – a man known for owning trains and spacecraft that crash and trying to destroy our NHS – now not only claims he cannot “censor” his customers from reading the nastiest paper in Britain, but also was happy to wait a few days before saying such. He is someone with an ego the size of China and the decency of Pol Pot; Sir Richard Branson should take a one way flight on his spacecraft and he should take Viscount Rothermere and Paul Dacre with him.
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Child killer Mick Philpott may get his just deserts for bragging about receiving free false teeth on the NHS
Mick Philpott is a man who should only be remembered as a monster who burnt 6 of his 17 children to death in a house fire. Instead, now this evil creature is back in the press after receiving a full set of false teeth on the NHS. (more…)
Bogus lawyer Giovanni di Stefano was jailed for 14 years yesterday after being found guilty of nine counts of obtaining a money transfer by deception, eight counts of fraud, three counts of acquiring criminal property, two counts of using a false instrument, one count of attempting to obtain a money transfer by deception, one count of obtaining property by deception and one count of using criminal property.
Some websites list him as the “buying director” of Harvey Nichols but their official website curiously fails to include him. This bow tie wearer is often to be found at parties in London but on many an occasion organisers have expressed surprise as to how he got in. There’s even a Twitter account in his honour named “Where’s The Pun?” Of him, the handle suggests that he can found at “any party, anywhere”.
The hypocrisy of the former Energy Secretary Chris Huhne is exposed
In 2008, Chris Huhne made the following speech to the Liberal Democrat conference:
“For every 100 crimes committed in Britain today, just 1 criminal will end up with a conviction in a court of law. That’s a 99% chance of getting away with it. And if you don’t catch offenders, no amount of threatening punishment will work.”
Former minister Chris Huhne should have held his hands up ten years earlier
With his resignation and change of plea yesterday, the shamed former minister’s previous comments now sound as shallow as the way in which he has treated his family.
Prior to the trial Huhne had called the police investigation into a matter that could have been solved so easily “gossamer thick”. If, instead, he’d simply taken responsibility for his own actions in the first place, none of this need ever have happened.
It is good to see that Huhne didn’t fall in to the 99% he chose to describe. Now it is time to speed him away to the cells.
Watch the video clip at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tBh5wJLCl5M
Jailed for 14 years in March 2013 on charges of deception, fraud and money laundering, Di Stefano is a man who is often referred to as “The Devil’s Advocate”. He has been variously linked to such luminaries as Saddam Hussein, Harold Shipman and Nicholas van Hoogstraten. Others he’s associated with include Jeremy Bamber, Kenneth Noye and John “Goldfinger” Palmer. He plainly should have kept better company.
Cycling’s former golden boy being exposed as a cheat shocked the world. He summed himself perfectly in a comment to Oprah Winfrey in January 2013: “I look at this clip [of himself] and say ‘Look at this arrogant prick.’“ Many call for him to retire into obscurity but sadly that seems unlikely. Instead, the former boyfriend of Sheryl Crow seems to think he can build a media career. Most of us would rather he’d just cycle off.
A £15 million mansion fit for a self-made tycoon or an upwardly mobile WAG
While the youth of the Kings Road and Loughton have featured in the reality shows Made in Chelsea and The Only Way is Essex, their counterparts in Cheshire have yet to undergo the same social experiment. Having come across a fair few of their number though, I can only imagine their antics would result in television of comparable car crash proportions.
Wayne and Coleen Rooney and their home on Collar House Drive in Prestbury, East Cheshire
Warrington born Kerry Katona isn’t considered one of the “Cheshire set’s” finest exports
Cheshire itself is a county of contrasts: there’s the farming and hunting set and then there’s the new money. From the 1950s onwards an invasion of nouveau riche footballers and self-made business people came to Alderley Edge and Wilmslow and it is said that there are more Rolls-Royces per square mile here than anywhere else in the UK.
Though today’s Coronation Street actresses and Man United players generally favour brand new homes in Prestbury, the new wealth have not just consigned themselves to such. The likes of Take That’s Gary Barlow, for a time, owned Delamere Manor at Cuddington but sold it in 2005 due to his ever-growing commitments elsewhere. Equally, Neil Hamilton, whilst MP for Tatton, lived at The Old Rectory at Nether Alderley with his formidable wife Christine but when their days in politics came to an end, they too moved on. For a time, David and Victoria Beckham were the undoubted glitterati of this manor, but of those footballers still resident Wayne and Coleen Rooney are definitely now the best known.
In a “grey area between old and new” sits Swettenham Hall at Swettenham near Congleton. This 12,590 square foot Georgian mansion dates to 1795 but since it was acquired by Brian Kennedy, a double glazing, home improvements and mobile telephone entrepreneur, the house has been given a total makeover. The colourful style he’s given the house can best be described as being akin to: “Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen meets Austin Powers.”
Swettenham Hall’s drawing room is decorated and furnished in a cacophony of colours
The kitchen is painted in an equally vivid shade of lime green
A bedroom boasts a carpet that would make Austin Powers shout: “Yeah, baby, yeah!”
The same carpeting continues into the wood paneled “gentleman’s study”
At Swettenham Hall, bathrooms, equally, are far from neutral in their styling
Mr Kennedy and his wife Christine employed Julian Bicknell Associates to design an impressive leisure wing in 2004
Swettenham Hall is most definitely a party palace and along with the addition of a leisure wing consisting of a swimming pool, Jacuzzi®, plunge pool, steam room and gymnasium in 2004, Kennedy has also constructed a 47ft by 44ft helicopter hangar complete with a retractable helicopter pad.
Standing in 100 acres of grounds, the house does seem a tad expensive at £15 million especially since that the adjoining former farm buildings were sold off and converted into eight homes in 1999. The driveway is partly shared with these homes and for those seeking the ultimate in privacy, this could indeed be an issue. It is perhaps why Swettenham Hall has yet to sell.
The former farm buildings next to Swettenham Hall were sold off and converted into eight homes by Egerton Estates and Watts Developments in 1999
The proximity of Swettenham Hall to the neighbouring barn conversions is illustrated in this Google Earth map
Brian Kennedy is someone I hadn’t heard of until I came across Swettenham Hall but here is a fascinating man whose meteoric rise is frankly very clearly linked to windows. The son of a window cleaner from Edinburgh, this self-made tycoon started his career as a trainee manager at the Royal Bank of Scotland. He subsequently briefly worked as a trainee accountant but left when offered the chance to become youngest branch manager of Moben Kitchens at the age of 20.
At around this time, Kennedy acquired a stake in Farouche Kitchens and with a Rochdale born property entrepreneur named David Russell, he was transformed from a door-to-door salesman to a pioneer in direct sales. In 1988, when Farouche was sold, Kennedy netted circa £1 million. From here, this entrepreneur returned to his family’s roots by venturing into double glazing with Weatherseal Windows and then home improvements with Space Kitchens & Bedrooms.
In 1999, with the help of funds raised by private equity investors 3i, Kennedy paid £42 million for the well known brand Everest but sold part of his stake to the management for £63 million in 2003. In due course he added to his shareholding and then sold 21.5% of the company to Hutton Collins in a deal which valued the company at £150 million in 2007.
Ever the empire builder, Kennedy paid £29 million for a conservatory manufacturer named Ultrafame in 2006 and then also added another double glazing brand, Zenith Staybrite, to his portfolio in 2008. Many other business ventures followed but not being afraid to diversify, Kennedy formed Patrick Properties, whose portfolio is now valued in excess of £100 million, in 2002 and Kennedy Renewables, which specialises in wind energy, in 2009.
In the technology sector, a chance conversation in a Knutsford wine bar in 1995 led to him venturing into the mobile telephone market with a company named Genesis Communications. The business was sold to Dixons in 2002 for £31 million.
In January 2012, Kennedy merged his main Latium Holdings business with Jim Rawson’s Epwin Group to form Epwin Holdings. The merger resulted in a company with more than 2,500 employees and brands numbering Spectus, Swish, CET and Kestrel.
Of his success, Kennedy states:
“Business is common sense [and] dealing with people is common sense. I don’t think I have any particular flair. I think it is about common sense, taking the opportunity when it comes and hard work.”
Brian Kennedy’s wealth has allowed him to indulge many of his passions. A period of semi-retirement “drove [him] and [his] kids nuts,” but this Scotsman’s love of rugby resulted in him acquiring the Sale Sharks Rugby Club in 1999. He is said to have set the “club on a sound financial footing” and turned it into “one of the leading rugby clubs in Britain.”
Philanthropy is something that Kennedy, a Jehovah’s Witness, has also dedicated his wealth to. Through his Brian Kennedy Trust, he has supported a number of charities and organisations but it is for his role as the main backer of Find Madeleine Fund that he has come to public attention. Of his reasoning for backing the missing child’s parents financially, he stated:
“In light of the quite literally incredible accusations against Gerry and Kate McCann, which are clearly exacerbating their emotional torture, I felt compelled to offer, along with other like-minded businessmen, financial support and the full logistical support of the Latium team. That support is principally our in-house lawyer Ed Smethurst and [official spokesman] Clarence Mitchell.”
Brian Kennedy was involved in the funding of a team that included Clarence Mitchell for the Find Madeleine Fund until 2009. Here Mitchell (standing) is pictured with Gerry and Kate McCann.
An ex-lawyer and campaigner Anthony “Tony” Bennett is the former secretary of The Madeleine Foundation who has been involved in various legal disputes with Brian Kennedy and Gerry and Kate McCann
Kennedy’s donation attracted much press attention in 2007 in the weeks following Madeleine McCann’s disappearance and he continues to support them to this day. A very public spat involving him, Gerry and Kate McCann and a campaigner named Tony Bennett, who also was involved in The Madeleine Foundation, has been the subject of various legal actions. In October 2011, Mr Bennett was forced to publicly apologise to Mr Kennedy and separately an August 2009 Evening Standard article by Mark Hollingsworth “investigat[ing] the investigators,” was pulled because for “legal and editorial reasons.” In it, “someone who worked closely with [Kennedy]” was quoted as saying:
“He was appalled by the Portuguese police, but he also had visions of flying in by helicopter to rescue Madeleine.”
Angelina Jolie, another avid aviator, once commented: “Wherever I am I find myself looking out of the window wishing I was somewhere else.” We do not know why Brian Kennedy is selling Swettenham Hall, but Jolie is indeed one of the few with the resources to take these particular windows off his hands.
For more information about Swettenham Hall, Swettenham, Congleton, Cheshire, CW12 2JZ, contact Edward Welton of Knight Frank on +44 (0) 20 7861 1114.
For more details about Brian Kennedy, go to: http://www.brian-kennedy.co.uk
For more details about the Find Madeleine Fund go to: http://www.findmadeleine.com and for information on The Madeleine Foundation: http://www.madeleinefoundation.org.uk/
