Matthew Steeples slates obnoxious opportunist Owen Jones for his latest ridiculous rant on ‘Good Morning Britain’
Owen Jones just loves the sound of his squeaky voice and this morning after yet another outburst of Good Morning Britain, this obnoxious opportunist was sadly once again trending on Twitter.
Renowned for childishly blocking anyone who dares disagree with his warped windbaggery on that medium, self-declared feminist Jones – whose tediously titled (not so) “notable works” according to Wikipedia number Chavs and The Establishment: And How They Get Away with it – this time tried to take revenge on Piers Morgan, who’d previously slapped the “utter arse” down in July 2020.
After sharing his vexatious views on what he considered “offensive,” Jones told hosts Kate Garraway and Ben Shephard that “[Winston Churchill] oversaw the deaths of three million people” and added: “That’s still a fact.”
In reply, one Twitter user remarked: “We need freedom of speech in a democracy. Thanks to Churchill, Owen Jones has the right to express his derogatory views,” whilst another correctly concluded: “Can it get any worse? Got that toerag Owen Jones on, spouting rubbish again. #GMB”
Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Moron of the Moment 2021 – On Wednesday, Owen Jones penned yet more drivel and claimed that Oprah Winfrey’s interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex had provided an “ink-blot test” of the differences between “younger and older Britons.” He concluded: “All of this represents a serious challenge for progressive politics. Older, white, affluent Britons are of course the most likely to vote, and the Conservatives are keen to rig the electoral system further in their favour. Can any Labour leader successfully peel off enough economically secure, socially conservative older voters without alienating their younger supporters in order to build an electoral coalition? That question remains unanswered. But as the response to Meghan underlines, a seismic rift has opened up between the generations: it is only likely to widen further.”
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Owen Jones – Owen Jones spends copious amounts of time blocking anyone who dares disagree with him on Twitter. It’s a serious surprise he has a single follower left.
Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a park in Lytham, Lancashire
Included on the site yesterday, “David Dickinson coloured” Keith and “David Dickinson coloured” Catherine Larkham of Preston, Lancashire contacted the Lytham St Annes News to “express their disbelief” about the public “basically [becoming] murderers” by not wearing masks to walk round an outdoor area in Lytham St Annes – a Tier 3 town they travelled 20 miles to for a stroll in the middle of a pandemic.
In a rambling Ronseal ripped rant, Mr and Mrs Larkham – whom have previously risked infecting others by travelling during 2020 to and from Spain – bizarrely went to extraordinary lengths to tell the paper’s ‘community contributor’:
“Our stroll around Fairhaven Lake turned into an avoid everybody exercise… We could not believe what we were seeing… We just want know as we were visitors to Lytham and Fairhaven Lake at the weekend why out of literally thousands of people in and around this area, nobody and we mean nobody were [sic] wearing masks. We have endured lockdowns in Spain for weeks and months fully policed by the armed forces and successfully adhered to, but in Lytham not even a police officer anywhere to challenge all these people who are basically murderers in the making. SO PLEASE can anyone explain why??”
Unsurprisingly, the reaction by members of the Facebook group to this pair of prized pillocks was anything but supportive. Equally, given wearing masks is not compulsory outdoors, Lytham St Annes News and Keith and Catherine Larkham deserve to be equally saluted for the ultimate non-news story of 2020.
Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – The couple’s penchant for tanning beds or sitting outside for too long on the ‘Costa Del Crime’ were widely mocked by members of the ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ Facebook group.Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – The couple’s missive to the ‘Lytham St Annes News’ attracted 143 comments on the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ within just 10 hours. Their “highly essential journey from Spain” was mocked and their “proportionate and sensible reaction” was called out as anything but a “good use of time.”Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – The duo were mocked as “a good advert for Ronseal Medium Oak fence paint” and compared to Frank and Pat Butcher of ‘Eastenders’ by one commentator. Another referenced the “mahogany carvings” as “lifelike” and most amusingly one Andrea Richter called the Larkhams “melanoma dodging, Brexit voting boomers.”
Nine-year-old Tobias Weller has raised £145,000 for good causes by walking two marathons in spite of having cerebral palsy and autism
Tobias Weller is a truly inspirational little boy. He has cerebral palsy and autism and in spite of condition has just used a walker and a race runner to complete two marathons on the street where he lives in Sheffield.
Taking inspiration from Captain Sir Tom Moore and known as ‘Captain Tobias,’ the youngster initially set out to raise £500 ($654, €556 or درهم2,400) for the Sheffield’s Children’s Hospital and the Paces special school – which he attends. He covered a total of 52 miles during the challenge.
As of this morning, this cheerful chap has utterly smashed that sum and on his JustGiving page has amassed over £144,000 ($188,000, €160,000 or درهم692,000) in donations. He even attracted the support of fellow Dee-dar and Olympian Dame Jessica Ennis-Hill DBE and of him, she commented:
“As a patron of the children’s hospital just to see what he’s achieved so far is incredible. And then he sent me a message on Twitter saying: ‘Would I like to join him today and have a bit of a race with him?’ – but he wouldn’t give me a head-start. So, I had to take him up on that challenge.”
Speaking to BBC Breakfast of his achievement, Weller remarked:
“It feels amazing to have completed both marathons. “I feel fantastic. Thank you for clapping and cheering me every step of the way. You are all awesome. I love doing challenges so who knows what will be around the next corner?”
To donate to Tobias Weller’s fundraiser, click here.
‘The Steeple Times’ joins in sharing the delight about the return of racing and looks forward to Saturday’s 2,000 Guineas; Pinatubo is the ‘obvious option’ but we also rather like Mums Tipple
Lauded as the “wonder horse who can bring some joy back to a nation starved of sport” by the Daily Mail’s Marcus Townend, “pugnacious colt” Pinatubo is the Godolphin horse that will likely delight at the “first major sporting event in Britain” in months, the 2,000 Guineas on Saturday at Newmarket. Ridden by William Buick and the 10/11 favourite, here is a horse that is “hard to oppose” on the Rowley Mile.
Sadly but sensibly being held “behind closed doors,” the race – which ITV’s anchor Ed Chamberlain suggests “will have a larger audience than any recent 2,000 Guineas with people desperate for sport” – the “second best in the field” according to the Mirror is the Oisin Murphy – Andrew Balding combo Kameko at 7/1. Of this Qatar Racing owned beauty, Sporting Life’s Simon Holt remarks: “A formidable rival… Should see this out strongly with the promise that he may stay a mile and a quarter.”
Taking a bit more of a punt, we at The Steeple Times, however, would also suggest (excuse the pun) raising a glass to an each way on the Sean Levey and Richard Hannon’s Mums Tipple at 33/1. A “runaway winner” at York’s Ebor meeting where he “literally took everybody’s breath away,” the Mirror go as far as suggesting this outsider as having “plenty of pace.”
Happy racing.
Trainer Charlie Appleby on his much fancied horse, Pinatubo:
Speaking to the Daily Mail:
“Pinatubo’s main asset is that he is the ultimate professional. Any sportsman at the top, you generally do not see them fretting going into a champion competition whatever it is, boxing or golf.”
“Those cool, calm customers are the ones that often turn up with their ‘A’ game and channel their positivity into the swing of the club or the punch of the glove.”
“Pinatubo has a great mind. He turns up and knows that, once those starting gates open, it is game on. He is not a horse who lights you up in the mornings.”
“We went to Wolverhampton [for his debut last year] for that reason. If we thought he was going to be the horse he has turned out to be, we would probably have turned up in a Newmarket maiden.”
“He is a well-balanced colt. He showed his true attributes last season, taking in some of the most challenging tracks in Britain at Epsom, Goodwood and Newmarket – and he has strengthened over the winter. He has met every challenge we have set him so far.”
“I’m delighted with what Pinatubo has done through the winter. He does what he needs to at home, but most importantly he looks great and physically he has done well and I can’t be any happier with him going into the weekend.”
“We are all trying our best to have hopefully a superstar like he was last year going into his three-year-old career. The sport needs him at this time, and what a time for a potential superstar to turn up.”
As horse racing returns “with a bang,” Pinatubo is expected to win the 2000 Guineas at Newmarket on Saturday 6th June 2020 in “eerie silence.” The ‘Racing Post’ note: “Pinatubo could be a superstar, but is opposable at the prices.”“Sensational” Mums Tipple might throw a spanner in the works, but is trying a mile for the first time. He “could find it too far with all his early speed” some suggest.
Refugee turned “one-man vodka band” Pleurat Shabani shares a message of positivity (and a reminder that we’ll all be having a martini or three together again soon)
Having escaped the civil war in Croatia, Kosovo born Pleurat Shabani headed to London in 1994. He, unlike Dick Whittington, did not find streets paved with gold but ended up working as a lavatory cleaner and kitchen porter.
Later, forced onto the streets after losing his job at Soho House, Shabani “hit rock bottom” but did not give up. He found a job as a glass washer at Oliver Peyton’s Atlantic Bar & Grill – which ironically was later ‘sunk’ by Marco Pierre White’s Titanic restaurant – and after being promoted to a role as a bartender, began a journey that ultimately resulted in the creation of his own vodka, Konik’s Tail.
Shabini, without the big money backing most spirits brands garnered in the early-to-mid 2000s, is a surprising success story. We reported on it back in 2014 and in spite of his shoestring budget – and the fact he literally had to glue his own footwear together (he considers them “ part of his journey”) – Konik’s Tail is now stocked in everywhere from Dukes Hotel to Waitrose.
Now, at this time of lockdown, the notoriously shy luddite Shabani has taken to social media and on Instagram, a place he’s only posted once before, shared a message of positivity that we should all heed. It follows in full below:
“First of all, I hope this finds you well in these increasingly challenging times of disruption and enormous changes to the daily lives of all of us. Together, we have learnt that passion, optimism and community will help us all come out stronger.”
“The pride of who we are as a community is not part of our past, it defines our present and our future. You have inspired me. Your presence has inspired me. Your friendship has inspired me. And, your stories have inspired me.”
“Together we will succeed and that success will belong to everyone of us. Better days will return. Stools behind the bar might be empty, no late nights, no last calls, but this – you are not forgotten. Our hearts are full of love until we are reunited again. I know we will be with our friends again, with our families again and I know we will share a Konik’s Tail martini again.”
“Spread the love and positive energy, help a friend, even a stranger. Until we meet again, be well, be safe and love each other. My warmest wishes to you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
Konik’s Tail Vodka is available from Waitrose for £38 for a 70cl bottle. Thankfully they can still deliver it – so have your chilled martini glasses at the ready.
As some ‘Guardian’ readers attempt to move on from marmalade, others demand the “marmalade saga” is allowed to continue on the letters pages
Readers of the Guardian have been banging on about marmalade now for months. In a most endearing series, which we’ve occasionally chronicled ourselves, they’ve discussed different types, having the time (or not) to make it and even suggested it can beat coronavirus. Longevity and marmalade attracted an especially significant amount of attention.
This week, however, the love-hate affair with marmalade came to a head. Whilst one reader, Dr Anthony Isaacs, wrote in to urge people to move on to pickles and jams, another, Claudia Campbell, demanded the matter doesn’t “come to a sticky end.”
Their respective missives follow for your amusement:
Since the marmalade saga is coming to a sticky end (Letters, 17 March), would it not be appropriate to our current tribulations for your letter writers to advise us on the challenges of pickles and jams?
Dr Anthony Isaacs
London
Oh no! Please don’t let the marmalade saga come to a sticky end. The letters page is the first thing I turn to these days in the hope of sharing the joy of marmalade with others. After Seville marmalade comes three-fruit marmalade and after that comes lemon or lime. The show must go on! (I’m not an octogenarian but my husband is 86 and he helps me cut up the rinds.)
Gavin Newsom brings hope to America and we expect him to great things as 40th Governor of California; we also urge him to do what he can to free the victims of parental abuse, the Menendez brothers
Gavin Newsom, as the 42nd Mayor of San Francisco, achieved much. This spirited businessman brought in same-sex marriage in violation of the then state law, implemented a programme that provided permanent housing with support for 7,000 homeless people and did much to support workers’ rights.
Awarded the title of “America’s Most Social Mayor” based on his prominence on social media in 2010, here is a politician who has thrived because he does things differently. Charismatic and forward thinking, Newsom’s first book, Citizenville, explored how technology can transform democracy and in 2014, by then the 49th Lieutenant Governor of California, he became the only statewide politician to endorse the legalisation of cannabis.
More importantly, illustrating his thoroughly decent personality, in 2012, Newsom supported a sadly failed measure that sought to end the death penalty in California. He cited that California had spent $5 billion since 1978 to execute just 13 people and also stated that the death penalty was “immoral” and “did not deter crime.”
Yesterday, Newsom – a possible future President we’d go as far to say – was sworn in as the 40th Governor of California. Walking in the shoes of Arnold Schwarzenegger will undoubtedly be a new challenge for him and presiding over the most populous and prosperous state in the United States will certainly bring with it great challenges. With 39.6 million residents and a $2.9 trillion economy that is larger than that of the United Kingdom, he plans to work to reform healthcare, has already stood up to Donald Trump over his ridiculous wall and described it as a “monument of stupidity” and boldy taken on the NRA and stated: “We need comprehensive gun reform. NOW.”
All at The Steeple Times today salute ‘The Gavinator’ – as he once joked he would be known – but today, on his second day in office, we make a more heartfelt plea to him. Given the increasing amount of support and increasing amount of information about their case finally now being in the public domain, we urge the 40th Governor to take up the mantle of the permanently incarcerated victims of the most abhorrent of parental abuse, Erik and Lyle Menenendez. These boys received the most harsh of sentences simply because of who they were and have been locked up in Californian jails for 27 years without any chance of release ever. It is, we’d argue, now damn well time they were let out and it would be a fine thing if Gavin Newsom could do what he can to ensure the day when these brothers again walk free comes sooner rather than later.
6,000 acre Scottish estate that offers the perfect opportunity to bag a ‘Macnab’ for sale for less than a price of a poky Knightsbridge flat
John Buchan’s 1925 novel John Macnab is a must read and centres on three successful but bored friends – lawyer Sir Edward Leithen, Conservative politician John Palliser-Yeates MP and former adventurer the Earl of Lamancha – who decide to turn to poaching. Under the collective name of ‘John Macnab,’ they set themselves the challenge of within 48 hours they will remove a salmon or stag, undetected, and present it at the door of the three estates they warn.
Revisited more recently by Robert Harris in his recently published second ‘Richard Hannay series’ novel, Castle Macnab, an opportunity for anyone wishing to partake in the The Field magazine’s modern day ‘Macnab Challenge’ has arisen as a result of the 5,885 acre Achnabourin Estate, near Bettyhill in Sutherland coming to the market.
Offered for just £995,000 ($1.3 million, €1.1 million or درهم4.7 million) – the price of a poky 580 square foot one bedroom flat in Knightsbridge – Achnabourin is split between coastal dunes, pastureland, semi-ancient natural woodland and heather clad hills.
As well as five bedroom lodge and a two bedroom housekeeper’s cottage, the estate provides stalking, grouse, woodcock and duck shooting potential and wild brown trout fishing on thirteen lochs. Salmon fishing is possible through a local permit also and selling agents Goldmsith & Co. describe the property as “a wonderfully diverse coastal estate offering mixed sport and fantastic views… A true gem.”
Nigel Farage’s return to “frontline politics” is going to bring nothing but division and diversion suggests Matthew Steeples
Nigel Farage just can’t help himself: A failed candidate seven times in British Parliament elections and leader of UKIP twice, this bombastic brute is now “returning to frontline politics” in order to “challenge Theresa May’s ‘fraudulent’ Brexit plan.”
A man of contradictions, Farage – who is anti-Prince Charles, pro-Vladimir Putin and in favour of the legalisation of handguns in the UK – wrote of his intentions in this morning’s Daily Telegraph in an article titled: “The time has come to teach the political class a lesson: I’m back fighting for a real Brexit.” In the opinion piece, he remarked:
“Over the last few months, and particularly since the Chequers betrayal, scores of people have stopped me in the street to ask: ‘When are you coming back?’ Well now you have your answer: I’m back.”
“Theresa the Appeaser has produced a set of ideas that are nothing more than a cowardly sell-out. With all this in mind, now is the time for action.”
“It is now beyond doubt that the political class in Westminster and many of their media allies do not accept the EU referendum result. It is equally clear to me that, unless challenged, these anti-democrats will succeed in frustrating the result.”
“Well, I’ve had enough of their lies, deceit and treachery. The time has come to teach them a lesson – one that they will never forget.”
In response to this predictable publicity stunt, James McGrory, of the pro-remain People’s Vote campaign group, told The Guardian:
“Nigel Farage has had more comebacks than Frank Sinatra, just without the success. If he was serious about making a return to frontline politics, he would stand to be an MP. I can only hope that Nigel Farage sticks to the promise he made live on TV to have a people’s vote on the final Brexit deal.”
In reality, all this move shows is that Farage is nothing but self-motivated. In the past I’ve termed him a “man of the elite” but now I’ll go further: Nigel Farage is nothing but a self-serving meddler and yet again – mark my words – the insane nightmare he desires serving up to the British public will fall flat on its face.
In a statement, aside from apologising yet again to the plainly strange Christian crooner, the Corporation thankfully, however, announced they would be taking its case to a higher level and stated:
“The BBC is writing today to ask the Government to consider a review of the law in this important area to protect the right to properly and fairly report criminal investigations, and to name the person under investigation.”
“There is a fundamental principle of press freedom at stake here and one upon which we believe Parliament, as our lawmakers, should decide.”
They are quite right and given this ruling is tantamount to new legislation, this ultimately will go down in history as taking Britain down a very dangerous road.
Pictured top: Convicted paedophile Rolf Harris with Sir Cliff Richard.
