Tag: BBC

David Bishop (AKA ‘Lord Biro’ and ‘Bus-pass Elvis’)

Described by the BBC as “a serial fringe candidate,” Broxtowe, Nottingham born ‘Lord Biro’ attended the late paedophile Jimmy Savile’s funeral dressed as Elvis. He threw a 99p bunch of flowers into his grave as “a mark of respect.”

A divorced painter and decorator, wacky David Bishop adopted his first moniker (‘Lord Byro’) in honour of Lord Byron and later replaced the ‘y’ with an ‘I’ to stand against everyone from Eric Pickles to Neil Hamilton and Robert Kilroy-Silk.

An artist and poet also, Bishop primarily campaigns as the ‘Church of the Militant Elvis Party’ and has a website named GrumpyOldElvis.co.uk. His wacky policies have included:

– Imprisoning Cherie Blair to prevent her talking about her sex life.

– Placing CCTV in the bedroom of Nick Clegg.

– Bono for Pope.

– Going to Antarctica to shout at icebergs to “stop melting.”

– Turning public schools into pound shops.

– Introducing moats around houses.

– Legalising and nationalising cannabis and calling it British Grass.

– Free neutering for cats and Boris Johnson.

December 18, 2017
Shoeing Out Theresa

Why did the BBC waste fifteen minutes discussing Theresa May’s footwear? The nation would be a better place if she was simply shoed out

This morning on BBC One’s breakfast show, the hosts spent twenty minutes discussing the inane matter of another programme showing a shot of Theresa May’s shoes.

Given the ‘Imelda Marcos of politics’, as the ‘Wheat Field Wanderer’ was once branded, prides herself on wearing everything from leopard-print kitten heels to bling gold hologram wellies and red and pink lips shoes, why on earth did these presenters even think it worthy for discussion?

Mrs May, it transpires, was also given three pairs of shoes by Russell & Bromley and discount cards for LK Bennett, Amanda Wakeley and Hobbs whilst Home Secretary. Perhaps, since she’s so utterly hopeless at representing Britain in Brexit negotiations and given she’s so keen to shop, she could stand down and take a job at her hand holding mate Donald Trump’s daughter’s fashion brand.

Of the hectoring vicar’s daughter, another fashion loving chum, Lady Meyer, once told The Sun: “Theresa is a serious woman [but] she talks about holidays, clothes… She’s quite a girl in that sense.” Shoe her out!

October 28, 2017
Tax in Post

Reliant Regal 3-wheeler used in the BBC’s ‘Only Fools and Horses’ in Monaco in 2002 to be offered for sale at auction

A 1968 Reliant Regal 3-wheeler used in the 2002 ‘If only they could see us now’ episode of the hit BBC comedy series Only Fools and Horses is to be sold at auction in November.

The distinctive yellow car, registration ‘BWC 94F’ was used for filming in Monaco and features a tiger skin print interior and a remote control key start which can be operated from up to 50 metres away. It also has a smoke machine that emits smoke from the exhaust when a valve is opened on the dashboard, rubber mats with ‘Del Boy’ on the drivers side, air horns, a suitcase on the roof and ‘Rodney’ on the passenger side and inflatable dolls that show up in the back window.

Sold last by Bonhams in 2008, the eccentric vehicle has amazingly covered a total of 71,778 miles and even participated in the London to Brighton rally in 2001 and 2004. The 598cc car is to be offered by Silverstone Auctions at their NEC Classic Motor Show sale on 11^th and 12^th November with no reserve. Lovely jubbly.

October 24, 2017
The Air Went Pop

Canadian sues Sunwing Airlines because he was given sparkling wine instead of champagne

A cheapskate airline allegedly promoted a “champagne service” and then bamboozled at least 1,600 customers by serving them cheap sparkling wine.

Quebec based Daniel Macduff, the BBC report, has launched a class action against Sunwing Airlines after he booked a holiday to Cuba that advertised “a complimentary on-board champagne toast” but only was given cheap sparkling wine instead.

Of the legal suit, Sébastien Paquette, a lawyer for Macduff, commented: “It’s not about the pettiness of champagne versus sparkling wine. It’s the consumer message behind it.”

Whilst Sunwing denounce the case brought against them as “frivolous and without merit,” Guest of a Guest’s Stephanie Maida concluded: “Champagne is a basic human right… The gall.” Pass the bubbles.

October 20, 2017
Moron of the Moment – Emma Dent Coad

Hectoring horror and Labour MP for Kensington Emma Dent Coad’s remarks about the royal family simply illustrate her ineptitude for high office

Prior to the election, Emma Dent Coad was just a Kensington and Chelsea councillor, but, due to the ineptitude of Lady ‘Call me Victoria’ Borwick – a Tory with more interest in ivory than representing the 69% of her constituents that chose to vote ‘remain’ in the Brexit referendum – this equally awful red head unexpectedly also became Labour’s Member of Parliament for Kensington earlier this year.

Now, aside from bizarrely being lauded by the truly ghastly hypocrite Diane Abbott at Labour’s party conference in Brighton, this firebrand Commie has gotten herself into a lot of bother with a series of pugnacious remarks about the royal family.

Speaking at a fringe event, Dent Coad – whose Twitter handle contains numerous references to followers as “comrades” – told the assembled audience of anti-monarchists:

“[Prince] Harry can’t actually fly a helicopter. He tried to pass the helicopter exam about four times and he couldn’t get through it at all so he always goes for the co-pilot. So he just sits there going ‘vroom ‘vroom.”

“Harry and William are not very bright. Just let them drift away, be playboys or whatever… Their MP thinks the system is ridiculous. We should not be funding them.”

Turning to the Duchess of Cambridge, she remarked:

“It is disgusting [that she bought jumpers that cost £150 each]… That’s a food bill for a family of four. That’s absolutely outrageous.”

Of the Duke of Edinburgh, Dent Coad went further:

“The Queen might want to step back when her (cough, cough) soulmate is gone. He’s been mucking about and [been] quite unfaithful for quite a few years.”

Of press coverage on the royals, this ranting Labour loudmouth suggested:

“[The BBC produce] sickeningly gratuitous coverage of anything royal. [They are] very heavily directed by right-wing politics and the monarchy. It is a piece of the whole propaganda machine.”

Though plainly Dent Coad thinks herself very funny, the nation did not and on Twitter, Rupert Myers, a political correspondent for GQ and The Telegraph, termed the remarks “absolutely vile stuff.” Another user, @Ferruzzicati, added: “My god you are one opportunistic, virtue signalling ingrate. A disgrace to your office. Resign woman” whilst Ned Donovan of the Daily Mail rightly concluded: “[You] are an incredibly unpleasant and spiteful person.”

They are all right: Emma Dent Coad – a woman who previously sat on the TMO in charge of Grenfell Tower (and now wishes we’d all forget that) – should simply crawl back under the stone from whence she came. She is ridiculous, rude and would best rod off.

September 27, 2017
Dwarfing Misogyny

Rising star female racing driver Jamie Chadwick puts ‘Bungling Bernie’ Ecclestone in his place and dismisses his ridiculous misogynist views

The first ever female and youngest ever winner of the British GT Championship Jamie Chadwick was interviewed in The Guardian last weekend.

Speaking to the paper’s Giles Richards, 19-year-old Chadwick criticized Bernie Ecclestone’s 2016 remarks at an advertising conference about female participation in F1 in London. At the time ‘Bungling Bernie’ remarked: “I don’t know whether a woman would physically be able to drive an F1 car quickly, and they wouldn’t be taken seriously.”

In response, Chadwick candidly stated: “[Ecclestone’s views are] not based on any fact. If I can prove him wrong that’s just added motivation… Everywhere I have gone everyone has respected that I am there to do a job. If I don’t do it I get the same bollocking a male driver would get and if I do I get the same praise.”

She added: “You don’t want a female to be there as a token effort. You have to have made it on merit. The worst thing that could happen would be if you put someone in who could not compete. It would make a mockery of those who are trying to achieve good things.”

Back in 2016, at the same conference, Ecclestone shared other views that were not exactly considered logical. He also bizarrely suggested that Vladimir Putin “should be running Europe” and expressed his support for Donald Trump to become 45^th POTUS. In his dotage, one is left wondering if this little dwarf-like man has been spending too much time watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

September 8, 2017
Strictly Come Mayfair

Grosvenor Square apartment for sale; it comes with access to a private residents’ ballroom and will appeal to any fan of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’

Built circa 1958 on the site of an earlier house damaged during the war, a ground floor apartment within 17 Grosvenor Square in London’s Mayfair has gone on sale for £3.75 million ($4.9 million, €4.2 million or درهم18.1 million).

Offered on a lease with 40 years remaining, the 1,481 square foot property includes not only an impressive 29-foot by 17-foot drawing room but also two bedrooms and two bathrooms. It does require but modernisation but comes with a bonus in the form of access to a private residents’ ballroom measuring 55-foot by 22-foot.

That space supposedly can accommodate upto 350 people for a cocktail party and though said to be “rarely used,” it certainly could be the perfect space for any fan of BBC One’s Strictly Come Dancing to practice the Samba.

Agents Wetherell have the listing.

Pictured above: The ballroom shared by residents of 17 Grosvenor Square.

July 30, 2017
Donald’s Duck

Weak and wobbly Theresa May becomes dastardly and dominant Donald Trump’s (dead) duck at the G20 in Germany

Up north people often say: “Ay up me duck” when they meet someone and yesterday Theresa May looked as if she wanted to come out with such when she encountered “pussy grabber” Donald Trump.

Pictured with her hand tightly clasped by Mr Trump at the G20 in Germany, the worst sartorially advised woman on the planet, smiled with smugness as the 45^th POTUS spoke of the “very special relationship” between her and his administrations.

In comments that prove Britain’s dead duck PM is nothing but a pillock and a poodle, ‘The Donald’ then added: “I will be going to London.”

God help Great Britain. What on earth have we become?

July 8, 2017
The Peoples’ Republic of Kensington

As Kensington turns red, ‘The Steeple Times’ reflects on the defeat of a woman nicknamed ‘#LazyBorwick’ , a win by a hard-left Labour blogger and a need for an MP who’ll now represent all constituents

Last night, in frankly the biggest shock of a shambolic and wholly unnecessary General Election, Kensington replaced one flame haired harridan with another and a Conservative majority of nearly 7,500 votes with a wafer thin Labour majority of just 20.

That a seat, where someone once commented: “Even a pig in a blue rosette would win here”, turned red shocked many but given the apparent laziness of the incumbent Member of Parliament, Lady Borwick, the result was a reflection of the constituency’s dissatisfaction with a woman whose reply rate to constituents was listed as just 18% on the website TheyWorkForYou.com.

Victor Emma Dent Coad represents something that many in the seat will not, however, want. Hard-left, and a Momentum supporter, this blogger undoubtedly can be credited as a dedicated councillor but her tangible lack of anger towards Brexit will come to disappoint the 69% of constituent supporters of ‘Remain’.

After the result was announced, Dent Coad, who was backed to the chagrin of a number of locals by Gina Miller’s ‘Best for Britain’ campaign, told those assembled:

“This constituency is a microcosm of everything that is wrong in this country after seven years of incompetent and uncaring coalition and Tory government”.

“I will do everything in my power in the next five years to make ‘One Kensington’ an example of the finest qualities of common humanity, mutual respect for all our communities and social justice to create a thoughtful, kind, co-operative and tolerant society where we can all prosper and thrive”.

Ousted Lady Borwick spoke briefly and added: “I wish Emma every success, but please be assured, as far as I am concerned, tomorrow I start the fight back for Kensington and the Conservatives”.

On Twitter, actor and local resident John Cleese responded: “Metro, The Mirror and the Evening Standard are blaming me for helping Labour’s chances in Kensington and Chelsea [sic]. Delighted my trick worked…”

Elsewhere, in response to an article published in April in The Steeple Times, a reader and associate of Lady Borwick going only by the name “Daniel M.’ remarked:

“You stupid, stupid people. You have destroyed Victoria Borwick’s majority and you should realise the impact that will have on the area. We do not suit Labour representing us and as someone who has worked with Victoria and knows her well I will tell you this: Shame on you Matthew Steeples. I am disgusted by your vendetta and demand you apologise”.

Ignoring this bitter Tory’s diatribe, Matthew Steeples concluded:

“Annabel Mullin deserves a worthy mention for having increased the Liberal Democrats’ share of votes cast from just 6.6% to 12.2% in spite of having no party structure behind her. Unlike machined up to the hilt Borwick and Dent Coad, she campaigned throughout the electoral area and now, as before, we have a constituency divided between the richer Tory south and the poorer Labour north”.

“Kensington might be perceived as the land of supercars and £120 million houses, but in fact, this is an area with a rife problem of homelessness and an area where people ‘buy-to-leave’ rather than to ‘buy-to-let’ let alone ‘buy-to-live’. Independent, locals businesses are being wiped out here and nowhere is it clearer that ‘money park London’ just cannot be allowed to continue unabated”.

“Emma Dent Coad, undoubtedly, secured an amazing win but it now remains to be seen whether she’ll represent ‘the many’ throughout Kensington or just ‘the cleverly focused few’ she so successfully targeted to secure her victory last night”.

Results (with percentage change from 2015 General Election):

Electorate – 60,594

Turnout – 38,677 (63.8%)

Majority – 20 for Labour (previously 7,361 for the Conservatives)

Emma Dent Coad, Labour Party– 16,333 (+11.1%)

Lady Borwick, Conservative Party – 16,313 (-10.1%)

Annabel Mullin, Liberal Democrats – 4,724 (+6.6%)

Jennifer Nadel, Green Party – 767 (-3.1%)

James Torrance, Independent – 393 (+1%)

Peter Marshall, Independent – 98 (+0.3%)

John Lloyd, Alliance for Green Socialism – 49 (-0.2%)

Pictured above: Ex-MP Lady Borwick with Theresa May; Emma Dent Coad after her victory on Friday

June 10, 2017
Theresa’s Trumped

Blundering bin bag Theresa May will form a minority government today, but it won’t last; the nation want her and her nasty party gone

From the moment Theresa May awkwardly held Donald Trump’s hand in Washington back in January, it was all but over. Cursed by appearing a poodle to the worst POTUS in history, Britain’s then unelected Prime Minister showed herself as a kowtowing coward and a mandateless moron.

May – a self-declared “goody two shoes” whose outfits are supposedly chosen with the help of her ‘charitable’ chum Lady Meyer and whose “most naughty moment ever” was supposedly “golly gosh, running through fields of wheat” – had not needed to call an election but doing so has rightly cost her dear. When the contest was announced back in May, the public, represented best by ‘Brenda from Bristol’, told her: “Not another [election]. Oh for God’s sake, I can’t honestly… I can’t stand this”, but on this Lady Macbeth-like harridan blundered.

Philip and Theresa May – a bumbling ‘Wallace & Gromit-like’ duo unsuitable for the task of steering our nation through Brexit and beyond

Appearing on the BBC’s One Show with her garden gnome-like husband, Philip, foolish Mrs May car-crashingly joked about whose responsibility it was to take the bins out – there are, after all, “boys jobs” and “girls jobs” – and kept repeating her mantra of “Strong and Stable”. It was no longer about parties, it was “Theresa’s Team” but what the nation rightly came to understand her as was as one of the worst Home Secretary’s in modern history. Here, indeed, was a woman who’d closed our police stations and here was one who’d shut our fire stations; here was a woman whose friendship with the McCanns had resulted in them getting £11 million for their pointless search and here was a woman whose inquiry into historic abuse cost £100 million, yet, again achieved nothing for victims.

Though, surprisingly, for once, former UKIP’s former leader Nigel Farage got it right in stating: “The vicar’s daughter came across as insincere and establishment… Jeremy Corbyn fought and an amazing campaign and came across well”, it took Labour’s Tom Watson to sum up the mood of the nation when he remarked: “She said she was strong and stable. The public saw she was weak and wobbly”.

The Tory leader shot herself in the foot yesterday and as Paddy Ashdown concluded: “Mrs May: Enough is enough”. Let’s now put the rubbish out and let’s consign Theresa May to the bin bag of history.

June 9, 2017