The Steeple Times asks journalist and author Jessica Fellowes: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
To learn from history – in all senses of the word – but listen to the needs of the present.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“No man lives by bread alone – he needs his bit of crumpet”.
Is it time for “Keep Calm And…” to “Sod Off And Get Lost”?
Since 2001, whatever the situation and whatever the context, three words, “Keep Calm And…”, can and often have been applied. The rediscovery of what was originally a British wartime propaganda poster in a secondhand bookshop in Alnwick, Northumberland set about this trend and it has continued unabated.
The bookshop’s owners, Stuart and Mary Manley, seized upon their customer’s enthusiasm for “Keep Calm And…” and they, then others, printed it onto clothing, doormats, postcards, mugs and other merchandise. Millions of items featuring the distinctive font and “Tudor” crown have been sold worldwide and a trademark dispute about it commenced in 2011 and continues to this day.
On the Barter Books website is a link to a video giving the story of how such a simple phrase has become so popular. On it the narrator states:
“It’s perhaps the words on the poster that people find most enchanting. Like a voice out of history, it offers a very simple warmhearted message to inspire confidence in others in difficult times and it is something that should never fade from fashion”.
Adaptations naturally followed and amongst the many thousands created, some of the more tolerable ones include:
– Keep Calm Or Drink Wine
– Keep Calm You’re Not On The Titanic
– Keep Calm And Smoke Weed
– Keep Korma And Curry On
– Keep Calm And Get Over Yourself
– Keep Calm And Chillax (for David Cameron)
– Keep Calm And Kill Justin Bieber
– Keep Calm And Get Certified
– Keep Calm And F**k Off
– Now Panic And Freak Out
– Change Words And Be Hilarious
Increasingly, though, the overuse of “Keep Calm And…” has resulted in even Stuart Manley stating: “You almost get sick of it… Very few are genuinely funny”. There are hundreds of them and some are more bizarre than others. A selection numbers:
– Keep Calm And Have A Cupcake
– Keep Calm And Farm On
– Keep Quiet And Continue Working
– Keep Calm And Rule Britannia
– Keep Calm And Pass Me The Ball
– Keep Calm And Watch Skins
– Keep Calm And Go Watch The Hunger Games
– Keep Calm And Fake A British Accent
– Keep Calm And Hack On
– Keep Calm And Go Gangnam Style
– Keep Calm And Act Like Kate Middleton
– Calm You Shall Keep
Frankly, the majority of us are now bored. The time has come for reasonable souls to adopt the tone of Victor Meldrew. On sight of another piece of “Keep Calm And…” merchandise, the cry should ring out: “Sod Off And Get Lost”.
Barter Books: http://www.barterbooks.co.uk
Watch the Story of Keep Calm And Carry On at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrHkKXFRbCI&feature=player_embedded
If you must, purchase “Keep Calm” merchandise at: http://www.keepcalmhome.com, http://www.keepcalmstudio.com and http://www.keepcalmandcarryon.com
The Steeple Times asks writer, broadcaster and entertainer Neil Hamilton: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Christine.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
If you say so dear.
“Mademoiselle Khoo”, as she likes to be known, is a Paris based chef, writer and broadcaster. Bubbly and vivacious, she’s “seduced the French with Paris’ smallest restaurant” and charmed the Brits with her fresh and enthusiastic approach to all things edible. Watch out – her profile is rising faster than any soufflé.
Five of the best palaces in the trees
When one thinks of treehouses, one generally imagines pretty rudimentary creations built out of old boards and bits of rope. Now, though, treehouses are becoming more and more extravagant. As individuals such as J. K. Rowling and the Duchess of Northumberland construct vast palaces in the trees in their gardens, The Steeple Times examines five of the best:
The uninvited nuisances who are the nightmare of any party host
First published in October 2011 on a blog written by Matthew Steeples, we revisit the story of the leading gatecrashers who boldly go where no others would dare.
Gatecrashers are people who get into parties without invitations. Central London seems to be awash with them and though they lack the gaul of Washington’s Michaele and Tareq Salahi (who crashed President Obama’s White House state dinner for the Indian Prime Minister), they are truly a menace wherever they go.
Ranked as “the most influential Arab in the world”, Al-Waleed has at various times held investments in News Corp, AOL, Apple Inc., Motorola, Fox News, Eastman Kodak, TWA, Twitter, The Savoy, the Four Seasons hotel chain and Euro Disney SCA. Not afraid to back his beliefs financially, the “Buffett of Arabia” gave £18.5 million to the families of Palestinian “martyrs” in 2002 and sent a cheque for $10 million to New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani after the 9/11 attacks. In exchange he requested “a more balanced stance toward the Palestinian cause”. The cheque was returned. When Forbes magazine listed him as being worth £13 billion in March 2013 he was irate at the use of “incorrect data” that “seemed designed to disadvantage Middle Eastern investors”. Al-Waleed, whom rival publication Bloomberg list as being worth £18.5 billion, indignantly told Steve Forbes to remove him from his list and announced through his office that would he would “sever ties” with it. Surely, this dispute could be easily solved as, after all, what’s a billion or two between friends?
The Steeple Times asks shipbroker Eugene Carokis: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Gordon Gekko.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
Don’t waste time being unhappy.
Images of Rolls-Royce’s latest model, the Wraith, are leaked ahead of its Geneva debut
When someone “incurs your wrath”, they make you angry but with the addition of an ‘I’ the word comes to be a Scottish dialectal word for “ghost” or “spirit”.
Today, 5th March 2013, Rolls-Royce launch their latest model, an elegant fastback based on the Rolls-Royce Ghost. Named the Wraith, the car was to be unveiled this morning at the Geneva International Motor Show but pictures were leaked onto the Internet late last night and we reveal them for you here.
The stylish Wraith is the most powerful Rolls-Royce ever with a delivery that is said to be “effortless, but dramatic”, thanks to a 6.7 litre V12 engine and 8-speed automatic ZF transmission. A phenomenal 624 bhp / 465kW is available to the driver while the 0-60 mph can be achieved in just 4.4 seconds, compared with the Ghost’s 4.7 seconds.
With a stiffened suspension, the Wraith is said to be “distinctly on the sport[s] side” and a “Rolls-Royce to drive, not be driven in”. Of it, Torsten Müller-Ötvös, CEO of Rolls-Royce Motor Cars, suggested:
“[The Wraith coupé] has a hint of menace in the design that is new to the brand, but with the driving experience and performance to live up to that promise”.
As is to be expected from this iconic brand, styling, finish and attention to detail have also been given utmost consideration during the Wraith’s development. The interior of this four seat vehicle, for example, features Starlight Headliner technology which consists of 1,340 fibre optic lamps hand-woven into the roof lining to give the impression of a glittering, starry night sky.
In his statement about the Wraith, Müller-Ötvös concluded:
“Today we launch the ultimate gentlemen’s gran turismo, a car that embodies the spirit of Charles Stewart Rolls… The most powerful Rolls-Royce in history, Wraith promises the sense of adventure and speed that drove our founding forefather. But of course, Wraith’s starting point is luxury, refinement and quality, traits that remain as important to Rolls-Royce customers today as they were more than a century ago”.
First deliveries of the Wraith will be made in the final quarter of 2013 and prices are expected to start at around £225,000.
Rolls-Royce may feel a little peeved that images of the Wraith have bolted from the stable a little early but, instead, we would suggest, they should be extremely proud of what they have let loose. Wraith not wrath is what is required.
For more details about the Rolls-Royce Wraith, go to: http://www.rolls-roycemotorcars.com
The Steeple Times asks architectural antiques expert Jim Ruig: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
Design, travel and friends.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
The best revenge is to have a fabulous life.
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2013?
The current government in Australia and especially our left-wing Socialist friend Julia.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
I miss being a father and a provider.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
More time on this planet.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?
All bankers are stewing in their own muck.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“Envy”.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
Too many people support charities for the wrong reasons. One must support a charity close to one’s heart rather than for superficial reasons.
The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
An unnecessary evil.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
Matthew Steeples, Julia Gillard, Carlos Santana, John Cleese, Sigmund Freud, Pablo Picasso, and my son, Morgan so that he can witness it all. It’d be nice also to have Ralph Lauren and Axel Vervoordt as that would be just perfect.
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
I’d love a lamb shank on the Noosa Foreshore in Queensland. It’s a fabulous place and it would be divine.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
Don’t be silly, alcohol doesn’t know what time it is.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
I’d rather have a glass of good red wine.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
The ones thrown by fabulous people who are creative, funny and innovative.
Who is the most positive person you know?
My son.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
Polo.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
I have tattoos that date back some 25 years. The one that would sum me up would be of a Viking.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
I would love to be an Aston Martin DB6.
Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
I am very romantic.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
A photograph of my beautiful daughter, Camilla.
James “Jim” Ruig is the founder of the architectural business, The Salvage Company. Operating out of London, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Auckland and Hong Kong, Ruig sources reclaimed materials and antiques for commercial and residential clients.
For more information about The Salvage Company, go to: http://www.salvageeurope.co.uk