Theresa May’s decision to appoint Andrea Leadsom is indicative of where her bumbling bag of bilge government is headed
Last Thursday, at the count in her constituency, the rival candidate to attract the most attention to Theresa May was undoubtedly Lord Buckethead. Though it was his outfit that stood out, his ability to interest the electorate to his cause was actually far more impressive than a Prime Minister who’ll now go down as the “Weakest and Wobbliest” in modern history.
Yesterday, in appointing Andrea Leadsom as Leader of the Commons, May made her worst move since being allowed to form a minority administration. Incapable of coming up with suggestions other than “Brexit will bring a better deal for teaspoons”, Leadsom is known for exaggerating her CV, stating that men shouldn’t be allowed to look after young children as they might be paedophiles and receiving donations to her campaign via companies connected to British Virgin Island based tax havens. She is an extreme Brexiteer, widely disliked and generally considered “a little stupid” and given Mrs May needs to unite rather than divide, her appointment seems an especially curious choice.
As we head into even rockier waters with Brexit negotiations on the horizon, Leadsom is not what the Conservative Party let alone the country needs. She is not a woman who’ll unite her party and she’s not a woman who’ll bring harmony to our divided nation. And nor is Theresa May. It is time these bumbling buckethead imposters departed.
#BringHerDown #MakeJuneTheEndOfMay
Pictured above:Image 1 – Andrea Leadsom with a combine harvester – it is not clear how many wheat fields were naughtily damaged in the taking of that photograph; Image 2 – Prime Minister Theresa May with fellow candidate Lord Buckethead in Maidenhead, Berkshire on 8th June – ‘Team Buckethead’ later captioned the image: “Space Lord meets woman who used to run through fields of wheat”.
Andrea Leadsom, plainly afraid of being asked questions, has blocked The Steeple Times’ editor Matthew Steeples on Twitter
Captain SKA re-release 2010 anti-austerity hit ‘Liar Liar’ and this time use it to target “you can’t trust her”, Theresa May
In 2010, a musicial protest group called Captain SKA released Liar Liar as part of their aim to become a “voice against austerity and neoliberal politics”.
The track made some headway, but now, remixed and refocused on Theresa May in particular, includes such lyrics as “strong and stable won’t disguise, we’re still being taken for a ride” and in summary mocks her “porkie pies”.
“We’ve remixed Liar Liar for this general election because we want to do all we can to expose the horrific effects Tory policy has had on ordinary people”.
“Theresa May lies her way through interview after interview without addressing the real issues”.
“We want to do all we can to make sure Theresa May is kicked out of Downing Street on 8th June”.
Elsewhere, in a Facebook post, the group – who’ve already reached the top 40 with their catchy tune – added: “Download [Liar Liar] now and force the BBC to play it on our airwaves”.
Classically proportioned Wiltshire village house for sale; it’ll supposedly appeal to “your typical wealthy Briton” (whatever that might mean)
Primarily built between 1620 and 1760, a classically proportioned four-storey house in the Wiltshire village of Seend has been placed on the market this week for £4.5 million ($5.8 million, €5.2 million or درهم21.2 million).
Of ashlar and rendered stone construction and built for Mary, Dowager Duchess of Somerset in 1760, Seend Park (or ‘Seend Green House’ as it was previously known) was owned by the now retired judge Sir Mathew Thorpe from 1971 and since 1990 by its current owners. It has been Grade II listed since 1962 and was somewhat unkindly described by the architectural scholar Sir Nikolaus Pevsner CBE FBA (1902 – 1983) as: “So absolutely plain… that it looks like an institution”.
The main house, which has been modernised in recent years and extends to 11,357 square foot, includes 4 reception rooms, 11 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. It has many original features and in addition there is a 4 bedroom, 1,994 square foot lodge and a 3,630 square foot coach house within the property’s 26.4-acre grounds.
Of the pint-sized mini estate, James Mackenzie of selling agents Strutt & Parker told The Times: “Architecturally, the house will attract your typical wealthy Briton”.
Pint sized studio house for sale for £70,000; it’s unmortgageable and undoubtedly “one of Britain’s smallest detached properties”
A glorified garden shed in Edgeley, Stockport has gone on sale for £70,000 ($90,900, €82,600 or درهم333,800). Available only to cash buyers as it is “not deemed a suitable security for mortgage lending purposes”, the 176 square foot “bijou studio unit” is described “as niche as it gets”.
Marketed by Joules Estate Agents as “the smallest house we have ever sold” and as one “with the biggest heart”, the property consists of a living room, kitchen and shower room with an open plan bed deck over access via a fixed ladder.
Outside, ‘The Studio’, as it is known, has a small courtyard garden with raised beds and a toolshed. Joules describe that “as an oasis hidden from view”.
Georgian mansion, where Admiral Lord Nelson lived with his lover and her husband, for sale for £4.25 million; it was renovated by a former Nintendo executive
One would expect a senior executive of a tech company to live in a slick, modern home in Silicon Valley, but since 2004, Matthew Hill, for many years a senior manager at Nintendo, has called a Grade II listed manor house named Fir Hill in Hampshire’s Meon Valley home.
Built in 1765 and the scene of one of the most famous ménages à trois in history when home to Sir William Hamilton, his wife Emma and Admiral Horatio, 1st Viscount Nelson in 1801 to 1802, the 7,905 square foot “Georgian masterpiece” includes 3 reception rooms, 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. It stands in 5.2 acres of land and comes with a two-storey stable block with potential for secondary accommodation.
Mr Hill purchased the property from Mrs Vida Schreiber, previously Lady Clive, after the death of her husband, Brigadier Schreiber. He met intellectual property lawyer Georgy Evans in 2007 and married her in St Mary and All Saints church in Droxford in 2012 and in the time since, aside from completing the renovation of Fir Hill, the couple have worked together creating a website that comprehensively details the entire history of the building.
Of the renovation and why they are now selling, Matthew Hill told Hampshire Life:
“The renovation work took us 10 years on and off. Our architect said, you either have a big bang and not live here for two years or work in phases. We decided to do the work in four phases which meant we could live here, moving around the house as each phase was completed. The experience of living in the house helped with the restoration… It’s a lovely house, with a lovely feeling, but too big for the two of us now”.
Fir Hill is for sale for £4.25 million ($5.17 million, €4.87 million or درهم19.07 million) through Christie’s Real Estate.
Not connected with the LGBT community in any way, but in fact named after a man named John Gays, “Gays” at Holyport, near Maidenhead in Berkshire dates to around 1456 and is currently for sale for £5.95 million ($7.36 million, €6.88 million or درهم27.05 million).
Gays or John Gays House, Langworthy Lane, Holyport, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 2HN, England, United Kingdom
Also referred to as “John Gays House” and offered to the market by Christie’s Real Estate, this 12,482 square foot “bijou old world residence” stands in 20.75 acres and is predominantly built of red brick elevations with attractive sash fenestration, under a tile roof. It is Grade II listed, dates to the Tudor period and also includes later Queen Anne, Georgian, Victorian and 20th century additions.
Less than 30 miles from central London, Gays has been owned by a Swiss family for 20 years according to Country Life and includes 6 reception rooms, a conservatory, a master bedroom suite with 2 bedrooms, a bathroom and 2 dressing rooms, 6 further bedrooms and 5 further bathrooms. In addition, the property also comes with a 2-bedroom lodge cottage, a 2-bedroom staff cottage, an indoor swimming pool, wine store and 4-car garage.
Aside from a large lawned garden with an irrigation system, a lake adjoins the house and there is also an orchard with apple and pear trees. A stable block, a manège and paddocks stand beyond whilst a 1-kilometre long sand and rubber chip horse exercise track circles it. The Duke of York, it transpires, borrowed these facilities in the late 1990s for his own horses.
Sometimes the leftovers taste better second time around on Boxing Day and this year there is a real treat in store at Kempton Park while we sit in the armchair getting over the festivities. If you’re not scheduled to go already, you will have to watch it at home because it has been a sell out for many weeks.
Cue Card is undoubtedly a great chaser and the bookmakers have him priced up ay 11/8 to win again but The Tout cannot wait to see what happens as his stable mate, Thistlecrack, looms up alongside. The experienced elder horse may not have quite the brilliance of the younger one and connections are obviously confident that this inexperience will not hold him back. He should win well and though the price of 6/5 will not make you rich, it may look as though Santa gave it away such is the potential brilliance of Thistlecrack.
Enjoy the spectacle of The King George and if you are looking for a lively outsider to a small amount of money then Silviano Conti for the very in form Paul Nicholls may be the one. The Tout is looking forwards to it as much as his stocking full of Laphroaig on Xmas morning.
May I, The Tout, wish readers of The Steeple Times a very Happy Christmas.
Matthew Steeples delves into the history of Albany, Piccadilly and discovers an affordable way of living there
Albany, off Piccadilly in Mayfair, was most probably London’s first apartment block and it’s certainly the city’s most exclusive. It may be next to the Royal Academy and opposite Fortnum & Mason but surprisingly few have even heard of it.
Considering its location, Albany, which some make the mistake of referring to as “The Albany,” is an amazingly quiet oasis of peace and tranquility but, equally, it is a place of intrigue and drama. Residents, or “proprietors,” as they prefer to be known, of the 69 “sets” are particular about the “the” part of the name as they’d rather their residence not be confused with a public house and they are even more protective of their privacy. A porters’ lodge guards the entrance to the building and it is staffed mostly by ex-servicemen, who, until the early 2000s, had to wear top hats and tailcoats. Those allowed to pass enter a rarefied world frequented by what the Irish novelist Marmion Savage (1803 – 1872) identified as “incurable oddities” and “superannuated fops” in The Bachelor of Albany.
The front courtyard and façade of Albany, Piccadilly, Mayfair, London, W1J 0ALThe rope-walk connecting the various sets of Albany has been traversed by some of the greatest names in history
Built by Sir William Chambers (1723 – 1796), who also designed Somerset House and the pagoda at Kew, between 1770 and 1774 for 1st Viscount Melbourne (1745 – 1828), Albany was originally known as Melbourne House and conceived as a three-storey mansion, seven bays wide with a pair of service wings flanking a front courtyard. From 1791 to 1802, the property was occupied by George III’s son, Prince Frederick, Duke of York and Albany (1763 – 1827), but after he left, the renowned architect Henry Holland (1745 – 1806) sub-divided the existing house and added two parallel sets of buildings running the length of the garden to create 69 “bachelor apartments” which he named “sets.”
The “roll call” of residents since could easily fill our very own pages thrice over. They number royalty, politicians, artists, playwrights, academics and philosophers and here is a brief selection:
– Anthony Armstong-Jones, later 1st Earl of Snowdon
– Sir Thomas Beecham
– Sir Isaiah Berlin
– Lord Byron
– George Canning
– Sir Kenneth Clark
– Baroness Pauline de Rothschild
– William Ewart Gladstone
– Sir Edward Heath
– David Hicks
– Aldous Huxley
– Sir Simon Jenkins
– Rupert Lycett Green
– Malcolm Muggeridge
– Sir Harold Nicholson
– J. B. Priestley
– Sir Terence Rattigan
– Roger Scruton
– Baroness Sharples
– W. Somerset Maugham
– Terence Stamp
– Sir Denis and Lady Thatcher
– Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
Each had to pass the vetting of a committee of trustees of this Grade I listed building. That committee forbids children under 14, pets, musical instruments and commercial activities and each approved resident has undoubtedly added to the history of this den dominated by a central walkway named the “rope-walk.” Incidentally, an example of a curious quirk at Albany is that no resident is allowed to speak to another on this walkway. If they do, a fine is incurred. Albany, indeed, is rather like a college in its systems of rules, regulations, order and hierarchy.
For several centuries, women were not even allowed to cross the threshold and one legendary tale tells of Lady Caroline Lamb (1785 – 1828), disguised as a page boy, stealing into Lord Byron’s (1788 – 1824) set in 1815 to leave a note: “Remember me, Byron.” He replied with a simple verse:
Remember thee, aye, doubt it not:
Thy husband too shall think of thee.
By neither shalt thou be forgot —
Thou false to him, thou fiend to me.
The strict and formal structure that controls Albany and ensured its maintenance has succeeded in the main because 34 of the 69 sets are owned by Peterhouse College, Cambridge. They and the other owners are highly particular in whom they lease to and on one occasion on hearing of an “unsuitable tenant,” the secretary of the trustees is reported to have shouted:
“He’s a foreigner. Don’t like him. Don’t trust him.”
Needless to say, that application didn’t progress and nor did one from a physiotherapist who planned to operate from the building. Bone bashing in Albany just wouldn’t do.
The Rt. Hon. Alan Clark MP (1928 – 1999) in the grounds of his main home, Saltwood Castle, near Hythe in Kent in 1993
A horsewhip, however, nearly crossed the threshold of set B5 in 1994, as it was here that the late Alan Clark MP (1928 – 1999) lived. The affable philanderer seduced the wife and both daughters of a certain South African named Judge Harkess and the wronged man stated he would “have horse-whipped Clark if he had known how comprehensively he had violated his honour.” B5, itself, was described as having the feel of “the straitened quarter of an Edwardian bachelor on his uppers” and the dotty, English attitude of the residents is best summed up by the reaction of Clark’s neighbour when he accidentally flooded their basement. When asked what he could do to make amends, their answer was quite simple: “Go and lie down in Piccadilly and wait for a double-decker bus.”
The dandy and journalist John Morgan (1959 – 2000) typified social change at Albany in the 20th century just as much as he himself redefined etiquette and manners at Debrett’s and The Times. Of “humble origins,” Morgan was brought up in a “modest” bungalow in St Madoes, Perth, Scotland but is credited with persuading William Hague to remove his baseball cap whilst Conservative leader and offering advice ranging from “how to eat a banana” to “how best to tell friends that the partner you would like to bring to their wedding will be of the same sex as you.”
Dandy and etiquette expert John Morgan (1959 – 2000)
For the bachelor and GQ style director, living in Albany was symbolic of his own personal social elevation but he did not disown his past. This modern day Beau Brummell was a man of social contradictions who cashed his cheques at Claridge’s but was a member of the National Union of Journalists. He was a Tory but still regularly attended chapel meetings as he had done in his youth. Here was a man of paradoxes who seemed unable to come to terms with the fact that he was a homosexual.
Morgan, an asthma sufferer, fell to his death from a fourth floor window on 9th July 2000. He was found in just a white shirt in a basement below a window whose sill was strangely undisturbed. The coroner left an open verdict with a suspicion of suicide and it was widely reported that police found 60 made-to-measure Savile row suits, 300 monogrammed shirts and 90 pairs of shoes in the etiquette expert’s small set. Mystery shrouds the story of his tragic demise to this day but Johnny Morgan will forever be remembered as an arbiter of both good taste and behaviour.
Whilst Morgan represented continuation of the trend of bachelors living in Albany, change also came in the 20th century when the building’s committee removed the restriction that allowed only bachelors to be resident. With that females were allowed in and amongst them Fleur Fenton Cowles (1908 – 2009) was one of the most fascinating.
Fleur Fenton Cowles (1908 – 2009) in her set at Albany with some of her paintings and one by Salvador Dali
This writer and artist occupied five sets knocked into one with her fourth husband, timber merchant Tom Montague Meyer, and according to the Daily Mail’s Geoffrey Levy, hosted “elite soirees of the powerful and famous.” Levy recounts them at length but here is a flavour:
“On a Wednesday evening, a typical dinner party… would include Foreign Secretary Selwyn Lloyd, Labour leader Hugh Gaitskell, entertainer Danny Kaye and film star Douglas Fairbanks Jr. The Queen Mother regularly came to tea and was once joined by Pavarotti who sang Happy Birthday for the royal guest. ‘I don’t want her to die,’ said Fleur. ‘I couldn’t bear to think she doesn’t live just down the street.’ ”
Fenton Cowles, founder of the ill-fated Flair magazine and a “woman who knew everyone,” loved Albany and an exact replica of her “windowless, milk-yellow” study there has even been recreated at the University of Texas.
Another known for hosting extravagant bashes in Albany was my late friend, the Russian icon dealer John Gaze (1947 – 2011). Gaze had, as a boy, asked his father about the building when he passed it as a child and immediately declared he would live there one day. He took F2, the former set of Edward Heath that overlooked Savile Row to the rear, in the mid 1990s as he craved the safety that the building offered after having been kidnapped at gunpoint by an Oxford graduate conman named Sacheverell de Houghton in April 1991 from his then home in Fournier Street, E1. He made the most of his tenancy.
Russian icon dealer John Gaze (1947 – 2011) reflected in the brass plaque outside his Albany set, F2. It was formerly occupied by Sir Edward Heath.
Gaze’s parties included a fundraiser for people with AIDS hosted by a drag queen. This sparked fury with certain other residents and coverage in the Daily Telegraph and another incident there involved him encountering Alan Clark on the ropewalk carrying a portrait of Lenin. “Where the fuck are you taking that?” Clark supposedly bellowed but was “reassured” when he was told it was “destined for a less salubrious address in Whitechapel.” John Gaze remained at Albany for several years but, like a number of others I know, was forced out by ever rising rents and moved first to Chelsea and then Ennismore Gardens, Knightsbridge. He always remembered his time at Albany fondly and as a bon vivant, he truly belonged there.
The main reception room in a £1,400 a week set currently available in AlbanyAn attic room in the set that could be used as a second reception room or second bedroomThe kitchen is lacking in character but offers ample space for informal dining
Contrary to what you’d expect, living in Albany is not quite as expensive as one might think. A 2-bedroomed 1,970 square foot set is currently available through Knight Frank for £1,400 a week: a figure that seems quite reasonable given the location, history and size of this property. Available on a minimum 8-year rental term, it includes a formal reception room, a dining kitchen, 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
This £300 per week set, D2, consists of just one roomThe communal bathroom D2 shares with other sets is basic but clean
For those looking for something cheaper, Savills offer D2 Albany at £300 per week. This set consists of a 221 square foot third floor attic room with access to a communal bathroom and the agents suggest that it: “would make an ideal reading or writing room or an occasional bedroom for a pied-a-terre.” It’s effectively a posh form of tenement but what a way to impress your peers and subordinates.
Damon and Sandra de László in their “duplex” in Albany
Those renting either of these sets would find the likes of the industrialist Damon de László, a descendant of the Hungarian painter Philip Alexius de László (1869 – 1937), as their neighbour. The couple occupy Lord Byron’s former set, A2, and have, on occasions, opened it for a charity dinner with Matthew Parris at £1,000 a ticket as well and for members of The Portrait Institute to view their collection of de László’s works.
Professor Philip C. Bobbitt in his grand freehold set
Another present day resident is a man Henry Kissinger calls “the outstanding philosopher of our times,” Professor Philip C. Bobbitt. This Texan lawyer is a nephew of Lyndon B. Johnson and the author of Terror and Consent, which Tony Blair describes as “required reading for political leaders.” Bobbitt owns an impressive flying freehold set that is described as having a masculine style of décor and a “kitchen he has designed to look like a bar.” In an interview for TheIndependent he states that he finds Albany: “a propitious place to work.”
Though governments and bankers come and go, behind this quintessentially English façade, order and disorder have always been maintained. The wildcards of this hidden haven have a knack for living by the doctrine “to live at Albany is to live in history” and indeed they make the most of that. Those who are lucky enough to be let in, do, indeed, truly find themselves in the “Paradise of Piccadilly.”
