Tag: song

  • The Nonsense of One Britain, One Nation

    The Nonsense of One Britain, One Nation

    Nikolay Kalinin joins those mocking the “godawful silliness” of the One Britain, One Nation campaign and slams it as anything but true patriotism

    It seems that because five years have passed since Brexit, the government has decided that the only problem that now needs solving is the public’s supposed lack of patriotism – and so they have decided to make muscular unionism an official government policy.

     

    The first hellish component of this ‘plan’ is the One Britain, One Nation day, named after the campaign group of the same name, which according to its website aims to “create a strong, fair, harmonious and a proud British Nation – celebrating patriotism and respect for all our people.”

     

    The campaign has even produced a song which was performed by schoolchildren, which was so disturbing that even GB News host Kirsty Gallacher stated: “I don’t want my children singing that”, even going as far as calling the tune “propaganda”.

     

    The campaign promoted much-expected backlash on social media, with many comparing the campaign to something from the Hitler Youth, while LBC host James O’Brien said on air: “If I played you (the song) before Brexit and said that the Department of Education is encouraging all children in the country to sing this song at school, I don’t think you would have believed me.”

     

    It seems that the government haven’t learnt their lesson, because American-born Tory MP for Beaconsfield Joy Morrissey announced recently on Twitter that she will be campaigning alongside the British Monarchist Society to “put a portrait of Her Majesty in every home, company, and institution that would like one” adding: “It is time to rediscover our pride in being British!”

     

    As expected, the response on social media was dominated by condemnation, with many calling out the campaign as pointless at a time when the pandemic is the issue that needs focusing on. Journalist Ian Dunt responded: “If these people had the slightest idea what there is to be proud of about Britain, they’d not be coming up with this godawful silliness.”

     

    The indy100 meanwhile wrote in their article about the issue: “The Tory party are almost becoming post-ironic. Perhaps Morrissey is angling for the Queen to bestow some sort of honours upon her, to which we say – nobody likes a teacher’s pet.”

     

    I am not against the idea of putting up pictures of the monarchy in one’s home; we all have the personal freedom to do that, and I respect it. However, when an MP from the ruling party starts a campaign aiming to put up pictures in every person’s home, this begins to look like an act of utter ridiculousness and an attempt at indoctrination.

     

    Morrissey also seems to have forgot to read the room, because a recent YouGov poll revealed that only 4% of the people in the UK have a portrait of the Queen in their house, which means that the public is simply not interested in the idea of having a picture of the monarch put in their sitting rooms. What Morrissey has done here is fail the most important task for an MP – to know, understand and react to what her electorate wants and needs.

     

    Regarding the One Britain, One Nation campaign, I am not against teaching children about their country. Obviously, children should learn about their country and the communities within it, but why should the government force the schools to teach this romantic image of the nation to the children, when they could just give them all of the knowledge and let the children decide how they feel about their country? That would be much better, because not only does it reflect the idea of personal freedom, but it also allows children to strengthen their critical thinking.

     

    I also find it extremely ironic how these ludicrous announcements were made at the same time when Savanta ComRes published a poll revealing that even five years after the EU referendum, the people in this country are still divided over the issue, with the results showing that 51% of the people would vote remain if the referendum was conducted in 2021.

     

    If the government truly cares about uniting the people of this country, why not try harder to fix the divide between the more prosperous parts of the south and the less well off parts of the north? Why not, also, instead, give more money to local councils as opposed to spending it on a ‘royal yacht’ that will be nothing but a showboat for Boris Johnson’s ego? That would be true patriotism.

     

    Gavin Williamson
    Education secretary and “Tory love rat” Gavin Williamson’s decision to back the “brainwashing” One Nation, One Britain campaign has been described as “hyper-creepy” and “stomach churning.” The campaign is supported by, amongst others, “dandruff disaster” Sir Malcolm Rifkind and “get on yer’ bike” Lord Tebbit.
  • Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

    Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple

    “I think if people were all a bit more like Andy, there would be no wars” remarked one Nick Kay on the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ of a story about an Argos sign “taking a tour of Grimsby before ending up attached” to the house of someone named Andy.

     

    Featured in GrimsbyLive on Saturday, the aforementioned sign was taken from the closed down Argos store in Osborne Street in the coastal town – a place where a UKIP candidate dopily named Victoria Ayling asked a council meeting: “What happens when renewable energy runs out?” in 2015 – on New Year’s Day.

     

    According to the paper’s Gregory Ford, a journalist with plainly a hell of a lot of other subject matter to sift through as he moves into 2021, “[the sign] first took a stop at the town hall a few yards away” and appeared the next day “at an address in West Marsh where it appeared to have been attached to the side of a house.”

     

    Ford – a man who makes Miss Marple looks like an amateur – continued:

     

    “GrimsbyLive finally caught up with the wandering logo at around 1pm where it was found still attached to the side of a property on Haycroft Street near the junction with Lord Street.”

     

    Speaking to the “resident at the property,” a man whose surname he neglected to include named ‘Andy’ subsequently, Ford gained the following surprisingly witty comment:

     

    “I think someone has put it here as a bit of a joke, we have some banter with the neighbours, one of my friends sent me a video of someone attaching it to the house last night.”

     

    “I’ve got no idea how they got it down or if they were even the ones that took it off the wall in the first place to be honest.”

     

    “I’m keeping it up though I think, it is a bit funny isn’t it? I might just treat it as a bit of a late Christmas present, I’ll have to set up my own click and collect.”

     

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    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Predictably members of the Facebook ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ had fun with the story with one declaring: “Bet Visit Grimsby are pissing themselves over this free advertising.”
    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Another added: “They’ll put a pick-up point anywhere these days” whilst another mocked: “I saw Argos tour in the 80s, before they sold out.”
    Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos – Argos sign on Grimsby house – Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple. Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers, GrimsbyLive.
    Andy from Argos’ sign is about its only highlight – Grimsby (a grim town whose residents are nicknamed ‘Grimbarians’) is the place Theresa May chose to give her final speech prior to the final vote on her ultimately rejected Brexit deal in 2019 in a hangar for housing life vests (rather appropriately); ditch loving murderess Jane Andrews (pictured with her former boss Sarah Ferguson) grew up in Grimsby and as of November was a Morrisons shelf-stacker in the town; chancellor “best known for singing in the bathtub as the economy collapsed” Norman Lamont was brought up there too and in 1974, Sir Elton even decided to sing about the accursed place. Now, in 2021, it doesn’t even have an Argos.
    Whilst Elton John waxed lyrical about Grimsby in his song – with lines including “there’s nothing to compare with my Grimsby,” “Grimsby, oh, a thousand delights” and “I miss your magic charm” – one visitor remarked of it: “The place just stinks of fish.”
    In August 2020, Argos announced it would no longer be printing paper copies of its catalogue. ITV1’s ‘This Morning’ responded by interviewing a retail studies expert named Professor Leigh Sparks who’d collected every single copy since 1973. He remarked: “It was a book of dreams in many ways. What a record of consumer tastes they were” whilst Eamonn Holmes intelligently chirped: “They can show you every stage of your life.”
    “It’s So Easy” was Argos’ strapline in advertising campaigns in the 1980s. No doubt, ‘Andy’ won’t share such sentiments when he’s bashed his head against the sign after a night out on the razzle dazzle.
  • Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns

    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns

    As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster

    This morning, the Mirror featured pictures of the disgraced deviant and all-round filth bag Rolf Harris out walking wearing soiled clothing.

     

    Previously snapped clearly breaching the terms of his release pestering children in a playground in February 2019, the now 90-year-old nuisance nonce was seen “hobbling along a walking stick” with his dog according to the paper’s Sara-Aisha Kent. He was charmingly described as having a “screwed up face” and “cut a scruffy figure in clothes covered in marks and stains.”

     

    Harris, it must be remembered, is a monster who has showed no remorse for what he did to his victims – whom called out his actions as having “destroyed their childhood innocence” and left them feeling “grubby, dirty and disgusting.” In 2015, this awful Australian penned a sordid ‘song’ in which he described them as “slimy little woodworms.” Sickly titled Gutter Girls, it went as follows:

     

    Climb up out of the woodwork babe

    From forty years ago,

    The climate’s great in Britain now

    For making loads of dough

    You’ve festered down there long enough,

    Time’s right to grab your chance

    Clap eyes on a rich celebrity

    And make the bastard dance

     

    Chorus

    Make him squirm, slimy little woodworm

    Make him squirm, squirm, squirm

    Sink your claws right in to the hilt, don’t let him go

     

    (Group) NO! NO!

     

    Make him burn, burn, burn

    Slimy little woodworm, make him burn

    Get your fifty-years-old hooks into his dough

     

    (Group) GO BABY GO

     

    That old bandwagon you crawled out of

    (rotten to the core)

    Conceals a host of foul accusers,

    Twenty maybe more

    My guess is they’ll slide after you

    All following your stench,

    Perhaps you believe you’re pretty still

    Some perfumed sultry wench

     

    Chorus

    “Make him squirm”,

    I can hear you singing

    “Make him squirm, squirm, squirm:

    Just imagine all of the money waiting there

     

    (Group) OH YEAH!

    Make him burn, burn, burn

    Come and join the feeding frenzy girls,

    Don’t miss out, come on and join me for your share

     

    (Group) PUT IT THERE!

     

    Elsewhere, a Change.org petition attempting to clear Harris’ name astoundingly remains online in spite of all avenues for such having been exhausted. On it, his loopy daughter – whom bizarrely goes by the name ‘Ava Reeves’ (in spite of previously calling herself Bindi Nicholls) – declares: “He has been tarred by the propaganda out there. He has been swept up in a witch hunt because of his high profile and celebrity! A total travesty at his age.”

     

    Frankly, the best thing for this deluded duo is the funny farm. It’s time for some straitjackets to be sent to Fishery Road, Bray.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns – Rolf Harris spotted in soiled clothing – As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster. Rolf Harris of Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP.
    Rotten Rolf’s Riverfront Lair – Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP; in August 2017 the ‘Daily Mail’ reported that neighbours were “selling up their homes disgust after [the paedophile Rolf Harris] returned from prison.”
    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns – Rolf Harris spotted in soiled clothing – As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster. Rolf Harris of Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP.
    Rotten Rolf’s Dirty Dinners – Prior to his conviction Harris and his weird looking wife used to enjoy consuming curries at Malik’s Tandorri House in Cookham. Whether he’s returned recently with “dear friend” Amanda Plattell, for example, is unknown, but if he did, he’d likely find his local Member of Parliament Theresa – now Lady – May at an adjoining table.
    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns – Rolf Harris spotted in soiled clothing – As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster. Rolf Harris of Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP.
    In February 2020, Twitter users reacted angrily to a forcible deportation flight bound for Jamaica by arguing that it was wrong that the convicted paedophile Rolf Harris was not put on such a flight back to Australia after his release from prison in May 2017. Here, we picture the monster with his equally off-the-scale weird chum Sir Cliff Richard.
    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns – Rolf Harris spotted in soiled clothing – As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster. Rolf Harris of Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP.
    Rolf Harris was quite deservedly described as a “Jekyll and Hyde character” at his trial in 2014. Here, he is pictured with his wife Alwen Hughes, daughter Bindi Nicholls and another relative.
    Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns – Rolf Harris spotted in soiled clothing – As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster. Rolf Harris of Highlands, Fishery Road, Bray, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 1UP.
    As with many of their type, paedophile Rolf Harris was friendly with fellow monsters including Sir Jimmy Savile. Here they are seen “sharing a joke” and “grinning creepily at each other” as the Australian ‘artist’ painted the abuser of even corpses.
  • Happy Buckethead

    Happy Buckethead

    Lord Buckethead moves on from taking on Theresa May in Maidenhead and records a Christmas song; it’s brilliant

     

    The fabulous Lord Buckethead has done it again. First, this wacky enigma took on the woman rightly described as “Britain’s worst ever Prime Minister” in Maidenhead in June and got 249 votes and now he’s made a YouTube video.

     

    Referencing everyone and everything  from Chris Rea to John Lewis, this mysterious space lord sings about happiness and the weather but simply concludes: “There’s hardly anyone left who’s still sober.” He adds: “I know your politics are in dire straits, from Downing Street to the United States, but change will come no matter how long it takes and things won’t be so scary.”

     

    As Lord Buckethead sings: May we wish you all a “bucket full of happiness.” Happy Christmas and by God, we need some cheer.

     

    Follow The Steeple Times on Twitter at @SteepleTimes.

     

  • Congratulations Bill

    Congratulations Bill

    ‘Songwriter to the Stars’ Bill Martin to perform for first time at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe; he will enlighten his audience about his successful career

     

    Glasgow born Bill Martin MBE – whose chart topping hits have included Congratulations, Puppet on a String and Shang-A-Lang – is performing a nightly show at The Dome during this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe this August.

     

    Pop songwriting legend Martin, who has worked with amongst others The Bay City Rollers, Cilla Black, Elvis Presley, Sandie Shaw, Midge Ure and Ken Dodd, will “tell the untold stories behind working with some of the biggest names in the music industry.”

     

    Of his Fringe show, five times Ivor Novello winner Martin – whose autobiography Congratulations, Songwriter to the Stars will be launched at the end of the month also – told The Steeple Times:

     

    “I have been writing songs for a long time and throughout my career I’ve had the honour of working with many musical icons – and with that comes a lot of anecdotes.”

     

    “I was the first Brit to write a Eurovision winning song back in 1967, and since then I have never looked back. I’m proud of having had number ones in every country in the world and this is an achievement that will continue to keep pushing me.”

     

    “Those who know me will be able to tell you that I don’t hold back and therefore my show will be a bit of a reveal-all of what it was like working with the biggest names in the business, especially during the Sixties and Seventies when the music scene was really vibrant.”

     

    “This is the first time I have appeared at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and I can’t wait to get started. Over the past few years I have travelled the world on Cunard cruise ships with the show and now it’s time to bring it home to Scotland.”

     

    To book tickets, priced at £12.50, to the nightly (excluding Mondays) event click here. The show runs until 27th August at The Dome, George Street, Edinburgh, EH2 2PF and is an hour long (8.15pm to 9.15pm).

     

  • Liar Liar Theresa May

    Liar Liar Theresa May

    Captain SKA re-release 2010 anti-austerity hit ‘Liar Liar’ and this time use it to target “you can’t trust her”, Theresa May

     

    In 2010, a musicial protest group called Captain SKA released Liar Liar as part of their aim to become a “voice against austerity and neoliberal politics”.

     

    The track made some headway, but now, remixed and refocused on Theresa May in particular, includes such lyrics as “strong and stable won’t disguise, we’re still being taken for a ride” and in summary mocks her “porkie pies”.

     

    On Saturday, a spokesman for Captain SKA told The Morning Star:

     

    “We’ve remixed Liar Liar for this general election because we want to do all we can to expose the horrific effects Tory policy has had on ordinary people”.

     

    “Theresa May lies her way through interview after interview without addressing the real issues”.

     

    “We want to do all we can to make sure Theresa May is kicked out of Downing Street on 8th June”.

     

    Elsewhere, in a Facebook post, the group – who’ve already reached the top 40 with their catchy tune – added: “Download [Liar Liar] now and force the BBC to play it on our airwaves”.

     

    #MakeJuneTheEndOfMay #StrongAndStableMyArse #LiarLiar

     Liar Liar Theresa May – Captain SKA re-release tune for GE2017 – Captain SKA re-release 2010 anti-austerity hit ‘Liar Liar’ and this time use it to target “you can’t trust her”, Theresa May.Liar Liar Theresa May – Captain SKA re-release tune for GE2017 – Captain SKA re-release 2010 anti-austerity hit ‘Liar Liar’ and this time use it to target “you can’t trust her”, Theresa May.Liar Liar Theresa May – Captain SKA re-release tune for GE2017 – Captain SKA re-release 2010 anti-austerity hit ‘Liar Liar’ and this time use it to target “you can’t trust her”, Theresa May.

  • The house formerly known as Prince

    The house formerly known as Prince

    Despite a Málaga villa built by the musician Prince remaining on the market a year after it was put up for sale, bizarrely its asking price has been increased by £1 million (more…)

  • Bidzina Ivanishvili (ბიძინა ივანიშვილი, AKA “Boris Ivanishvili”)

    Bidzina Ivanishvili (ბიძინა ივანიშვილი, AKA “Boris Ivanishvili”)

    Bidzina Ivanishvili (ბიძინა ივანიშვილი, AKA “Boris Ivanishvili”)Said to be worth £3.3 billion, businessman and politician Bidzina Ivanishvili counts two albino sons amongst his four children. (more…)

  • Change and Harris

    Change and Harris

    As a Rolf Harris supporter blames everyone but the paedophile himself for the publication of his vile views on his victims, it is time that Change.org closed down the inappropriate petition that seeks to free him (more…)

  • You’re just a sex offender

    You’re just a sex offender

    One of Rolf Harris’ victims responds with her own song about this repugnant sex offender (more…)