Alleged shoplifter and husband of pisshead Richard Madeley has proven himself delusional in declaring himself an expert on coronavirus
Whilst the government’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic can most definitely be summed up as incompetent, that the ‘Dorian Gray of daytime telly’ Richard Madeley has now made himself out to be an expert on the matter this morning in the Express is beyond laughable.
Previously known for having disgracefully insulted someone with autism and branded “sexist” by his potbellied pisshead wife Judy Finnigan in February, Madeley boldly declared “we are being duped” over the death rate and argued that “lockdown will come to be seen as one of the most catastrophic misjudgments a British government has ever made.”
Going further in Nostradamus-like fashion, this king of the ‘memory lapse’ when it came to helping himself to champagne in supermarkets concluded: “[They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”
In response, one Twitter user, Andrew Keates, rightly remarked: “I need to read Richard Madeley’s perspective on Covid-19 as much as needing to know Ann Widdecombe’s top 10 tips on how to be sexy.” He most definitely has a point.
Defined as “wanting it and wanting as much as she could get”, tragic English model and pornographic actress Mary Millington “loved money more than anything else”. (more…)
The Steeple Times suggests five things to bring cheer to Julian Assange’s grey existence
The fugitive Julian Assange will have been in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London for exactly one year tomorrow, the 19th June 2013. Last week Ecuador’s foreign minister, Ricardo Patino, commented:
“We believe he has a fundamental right to sunbathe. His right to intimacy, mobility, a normal life and health is being restricted”.
Their story is a modern day equivalent of that of Romeo and Juliet and Vanity Fair chronicled their deaths as The Golden Suicides. “Handsome” Blake, a digital artist and painter who worked with Malcolm McLaren and Fox Searchlight, and “sexy” Duncan, a writer, game designer and filmmaker best known for the “girl-centric” game Chop Suey, were the toast of New York but became obsessed with those they felt threatened them and their works. Personally wounded by a rejection from the post-modern rocker Beck to work with her on making a film out of one of her scripts, Duncan blamed his church, the Church of Scientology, and stated: “They are furious because he valued our way of life far more than Celebrity Center sex trash”. As more rejections came, this talented pair who “supported one another totally” became more and more irrational and in July 2007, a week apart, both committed suicide.
Our new columnist Jacinta de Vere analyses fashion’s most dangerous colour
I really enjoy seeing people take various pieces that you would think would look hideous on their own and combine them to make a fantastic look. Alternatively, there are people who take one piece and manage to look like a hot mess.
Jacinta de Vere suggests that opting for a red outfit can result in you either looking like a “vision in…” or “getting it all wrong.” There’s no middle ground.
When I choose an ensemble, I think to myself: “Keep it simple and edit.” I am not sure what I loathe more, a slovenly attired woman or a woman who manages to miswear a fabulous designer. One does not need to wear a well-known label to look good. One just needs to edit and to think about what is flattering for one’s body and proportions. Colours are very important when selecting a piece to buy or to pull out of your closet. If you go too soft, you get drowned out by the shade and if you go too bold, you become an easy eyesore.
As any respectable person who loves fashion will tell you, the colour red tends to be more associated with your bank balance at the end of the month after a Harrods shopping spree rather than the “it” colour of your wardrobe. Red is one of the colours that some people tend to get all wrong. Selecting the right shade of red for your skin tone can really lift and brighten you. Selecting the wrong shade of red for your skin tone can make you resemble a flashing street light and overwhelm you. Additionally, if you choose a busy red dress in the wrong shade, you may find yourself with an imaginary bowl of fruit on your head, holding maracas.
Recently while dining with friends, a woman dressed in a red feathered and lace ensemble walked by our table. This hideous dress made her look like a bright red “Big Bird.” I spotted the back of Big Bird and much to my horror, she had also decided to wear her favorite red bra. I would have chosen a nude strapless Le Mystere bustier bra. I am not sure what “look” this woman was attempting to achieve, aside from resembling “Cha-cha” in Grease, but I think everyone should try to keep it simple when wearing red. If I were her, I would get new friends because letting her leave the house in that ensemble was a crime to any friendship. Either pick lace or pick the feathers but to wear both together is a fashion disaster on any continent.
Marchesa versus Jane Norman
Marchesa has a lace and tulle cocktail dress at £5,700 (http://www.netaporter.com) that is sexy, stylish and just the right kind of busy. If you’re on a recession budget, then have a look at Jane Norman’s lace dress at £35 (http://www.houseoffraser.com). You want the attention on you because of your fabulous lace dress, not because of your poor choice of red.
Elie Saab versus Jessica Howard
Another woman was wearing a red Lanvin, floor length chiffon Grecian style gown. She was blond with an uneven skin tone, so the red gown with all the chiffon layers overpowered her. The fact she skipped putting on a bra did not help her case. I was confounded, wondering if her chest sagged due to the lack of support or if she failed to tailor the layers of chiffon draping the dress. It pained me to see this lovely dress make this woman look terrible. If we are insecure about our bodies and would like to hide our imperfections, we should find a way to emphasize the positive assets whilst camouflaging the bits you do not like. Buying designer does not guarantee you are going to look amazing. The dress may be amazing but you can still get it wrong if the dress overwhelms you. You want to wear the dress not the opposite. I think if our pot-bellied, saggy chested friend had chosen Elie Saab’s gathered front gown at £3,065 (http://www.netaporter.com) or, if on budget, Jessica Howard’s one shouldered beaded waist gown at £80 (http://www.houseoffraser.com), she would have looked like a million bucks.
Spanx, Le Mystère and Bring It Up
One can hide unsightly bits and pieces in an outfit without getting lost in yards of chiffon. Just because you’re wearing Lanvin, Valentino, Erdem or Chanel, it does not mean it will look good on you. Buy for the cut and fit and not the label. For these unfortunate situations, I turn to Spanx Slimplicity Convertible Full Slip at £79 (http://www.spanx.co.uk) and to Le Mystère sculptural strapless bra Style 2755 at £56 (http://www.lemystere.com). These are my lifesavers when I am wearing borrowed, tighter fitting or strapless outfits. Lastly, if my chest needs a temporary lift, I rely on Bring It Up Instant Breast Lifts, 8 pairs/pack at $20 (http://www.bringitup.com).
Jacinta de Vere is a lover of haute couture and all things fashionable and decadent. She is based in London.
The Steeple Times asks the financier turned fashion designer Jax Martin: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?
Love.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit.”
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?
Reality TV personalities are unacceptable in any year (but to be clear Kerry Katona is still unacceptable).
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
Sleep.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
High quality education for all children.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?
Bankers who created complex financial instruments should not receive the brunt of the blame. Let us not forget the inept regulators who permitted these activities to flourish, causing the crisis to become much worse than it might have been.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“Reaching out.”
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.” Plato. I anonymously support several charitable causes related to: education, medical research, the arts and women’s and children’s issues.
The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. But, I have no interest in listening to other people’s loud conversations on their mobiles.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
Oscar de La Renta, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Mao Tse Tung, Madonna and Ronald McDonald.
Fashion designer Jax Martin
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
I LOVE to eat; I would have a very large meal comprised of chateaubriand with shallot sauce, Cajun chicken and fries from Le Bilboquet and a bacon cheeseburger with grilled onions from Corner Bistro. All of the aforementioned would be served with a bottle of Gevrey-Chambertin. For dessert, I would have a slice of mille-feuille with fresh cut strawberries on the side. If I were allowed to dine outside of death row, I would have the meal served in either Trancoso in Bahia, Brazil or José Ignacio in Punta del Este, Uruguay.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
This question makes the assumption that somehow one has stopped partying from the previous evening.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
A martini.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
It doesn’t matter who throws the party, it’s the company you carry that makes the party.
Who is the most positive person you know?
Lucy.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
Can’t say.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
A phoenix.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
A Koenigsegg Agera R.
Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
While I was in engineering school, I was also a professional dancer.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
An antique Buddha, candles and a couple of black and white family photographs.
British designer Jax Martin is a former financier and professional dancer. A graduate of Columbia University, Martin also has an MBA from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and began her career in the hedge fund business. She now creates “chic clothing for today’s woman” and states: “I live to make women feel great and look fabulous”.
