Yet again Susie Dent delivers with a definition of a word summing up today’s weather, ‘thunderplump’
Etymologist and Countdown ‘Dictionary Corner’ stalwart Susie Dent has delivered The Steeple Times’ ‘Word of the Week’ yet again this week.
Previously featured with descriptions to accompany ‘autolatry’ (‘self worship’) in November 2020 and ‘going to the polls’ in May 2021, delightful Dent shared a useful description of the weather on Friday on her Twitter account. Her tweet read:
Word of the day is ‘thunderplump’: a sudden, heavy downpour that comes out of nowhere and drenches you in seconds.
Perfectly summing up today’s metreological conditions, the missive has already been retweeted over 1,300 times, quoted over 240 times and liked by over 10,000 users.
Reactions to the post, equally, were most amusing and with many adapting this noun to politics also, here is a word of Scots dialect origin that should most definitely be added to your personal lexicon.
Pictured top: Susie Dent (left) and two people struggling to walk through the consequential effects of a thunderplump.
Word of the day is ‘thunderplump’: a sudden, heavy downpour that comes out of nowhere and drenches you in seconds.
“Britain’s most troublesome brolly” goes to auction on eBay after its wally owner nearly gets shot by armed police whilst carrying it
Whilst a chimney pot filled with a collection of umbrellas owned by the late Dowager Duchess of Devonshire we featured in February 2016 sold for the staggering sum of £4,375 at Sotheby’s due to its provenance, an Exeter man featured in DevonLive today is unsurprisingly not going to find his brolly selling for nearly as much after it nearly got him shot.
According to the paper’s plainly short of a real news story Chloe Parkman, “brolly wally” Mike Devlin was “swarmed by armed police five times while carrying his beloved novelty umbrella [with a samurai sword handle and a shoulder strap]” and now “has taken to eBay to get rid of it – on the orders of his other half.”
Speaking of the brolly, Devlin declared:
“You kind of get used to people pointing guns at you after a while. I lived in USA and have been to guns stores and in Germany where all cops have guns as well. But, in the UK, they seem obsessed by my umbrella.”
“I can vouch for it – it is a really strong umbrella and never breaks – but it is not a deadly weapon.” I just find the whole thing quite amusing. People accuse me of being an attention seeker, which is ridiculous. I have never called the police.”
“In all the years I was in Germany I never had a problem. The first issue I had was when I came to England and stepped off a plane and security pulled me over and wanted to know where I got it from.”
“I often get stopped by members of the public, and there have been five instances now where armed police have stopped me. On previous occasions when they discover it is just an umbrella they laugh it off. But it then culminated in them confiscating it.”
Referencing a recent incident when they pointed guns at Devlin, Devon and Cornwall Police remarked:
“We received a report of someone in possession of what looked like a samurai sword. It turns out it wasn’t a samurai sword, it was an umbrella made to look like a samurai sword. It looked realistic, to the armed officers as well.”
“I love this umbrella, had it for ages, but sadly I need to get rid of it. Why? Well, that’s an interesting one.”
“My other half doesn’t want me to get shot by the police. Y’see, couple of weeks ago, I had 4 assault rifles pointed at me, and surrounded by 8 police officers as I made my way home. This was the 5th time I have ran into armed officers (or should I say they have come running to me, including back-up units, and sending helicopters out), and whilst I have always found it highly amusing, she is, however, not overly enthused by it. I know, right! But what can I do?”
“So, here I am offering this immaculate umbrella that undoubtedly has caused more trouble in the UK than any other umbrella in British history. The winner will (reluctantly)receive the umbrella, and the police return sheet – they took it off me the last time, only for an armed officer to return it to me a few days ago.”
“The media is watching this listing (that image is from ‘The Times’), so you may even be contacted by a reporter should you win.”
“What will I spend the money on? Dunno, really – maybe a couple of drinks to drown my sorrows. Ugh, I need a drink now…”
A Brolly Wally – The very same umbrella that Mike Devlin has cleverly PR’d in ‘Devon Live’ and ‘The Times’ supposedly even can be had brand-new for just £24.99 (if you desire to walk around risking a police incident).A Brolly Wally – On the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ there was much discussion of the saga. One member, Steven Phillips, suggested: “He needs to get a less ambiguous brolly” and included a picture of an umbrella disguised as a gun.
‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp Gold Cup Day at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’ – very much a day to stay indoors and watch Stradavarius, Frankie Dettori and Sir John Gosden
Rain could shake everything up today at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’ – as this year’s closed doors meeting has been branded – and though Stradivarius will not especially love any significant downpours, he is the horse that will surely be the highlight of Gold Cup day.
Trained by the Sir John Gosden, ridden by Frankie Dettori and owned by Bjorn Nielson, here is a horse seeking to secure a Royal Ascot hat-trick. Speaking to the Daily Mail’s Marcus Townend, Sir John commented: “He is in good form” whilst GG.co.uk concluded: “Stradivarius, and Frankie Dettori of course, are the undoubted top bill on day three of Royal Ascot 2020.”
Obvious Options
1.50pm – Wolferton Stakes (15 runners) – Ryan Moore and A. P. O’Brien’s Sir Dragonet at 12/5 has been branded as “among Thursday’s worthy support acts” (GG.co.uk).
Racing Post not especially enthusiastic: “Shade disappointing since close fifth in last year’s Derby but still has time on his side.”
3.35pm – Gold Cup (8 runners) – The horse of the day is Stradivarius at 8/11 (The Telegraph, The Sun TREBLE).
Racing Post concludes: “Top-class stayer, including winning this race for the last two years; hard to beat.”
4.40pm – Sandringham Stakes – Sir John Gosden’s African Dream at 13/8 (The Telegraph, Guardian). As Simon Rowlands of At The Races sensibly concludes: “The very short price makes him unplayable to me.” Watch and enjoy.
Chris Cook of the Guardian comments: “It is hard to resist the claims of African Dream, who ran way above her rating when second at Newbury last week. Whether she can reproduce that effort in these very different circumstances is a fair question but her connections give her every chance.”
Darker Horses
1.15pm – Golden Gates Handicap (16 runners) – Sticking with the combo of the Dettori-Gosden dream team, Hypothetical is an appealing each way at 9/2 from 4/1 earlier (Radio 4).
Racing Post says: “Opening mark is reasonable and profile points to strong potential for improvement” with their verdict being: “Despite the big field Acquitted makes a good bit of appeal. Hypothetical may be next best, ahead of Maori Knight.”
‘Templegate’ for The Sun adds: “Hypothetical comes from John Gosden and Frankie Dettori and is dropping in class after a solid fourth in the Group 3 Classic Trial at Sandown on comeback. He went well until the lack of a recent run appeared to take its toll. It would be a surprise if he doesn’t take a step forward from that.”
3.35pm – Gold Cup (8 runners) – An each way on the James Doyle-Charlie Appleby combo Cross Counter could be a more appealing each way at 11/1 (The Sun ‘Next Best’).
Racing Post says: “Held behind Stradivarius when in the frame in this (4th) & at Goodwood (3rd); could be 2nd.”
4.10pm – Britannia Stakes (24 runners) – An each way on Ralph Beckett’s Great Ambassador at 12/1 (Guardian NAP, At The Races) could be worthwhile.
Chris Cook of The Guardian says: “His final outing as a juvenile suggested Great Ambassador was in line for a big three-year-old season. From a hot yard and drawn on the favoured side, he is on a handy rating in view of some of his form, which includes a close second in Pyledriver’s maiden.”
Hugh Taylor for At The Races says: “Great Ambassador had five runs as a 2yo and might look too exposed for a race like this, but those runs really do stand up to close inspection… I think he’s capable of proving much better than his current mark when everything drops right, and although he lacks a recent run, he looks well worth chancing on his reappearance, especially from a potentially handy draw… He carries a 5lb penalty here, but goes up 12lb from Saturday, and given he’s a keen-going type who promises to be well suited by the demands of a big-field handicap, he has clear claims here.”
Racing Post adds: “Hacked up on final 2yo start; should stay 1m; enters calculations.”
Also in the 4.10pm – Britannia Stakes (24 runners) – Our wildcard is Richard Hannon trained Ziggle Pops at 22/1 from 20/1 earlier (Radio 4).
Racing Post says: “Came home strongly to beat a few of these in 7f AW handicap; up 5lb; should stay 1m.”
With no Ladies Day fashion parade due to lockdown, today is one to stay indoors, pour yourself a glass of something special and enjoy a happy afternoon’s racing. Cheers to y’all!
‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples
Last year, as I walked across the Royal Borough in the evening of the day known as ‘Mad Friday’ or ‘Black Friday’ – the Friday before Christmas and the most popular night of the year for the public to go mental on the streets – I witnessed pissed-up children vomiting in Cadogan Gardens and grown men fighting in Sloane Square.
Aside from dodging past loose looking women smeared with lipstick with their shoes off falling over in Kings Road and avoiding eye contact with yobbish sorts drunkenly attempting to croon in Pont Street, I somehow got to my destination unblemished and poured myself a stiff drink.
This year, thanks I guess to it raining, it was thankfully not quite the same. Yes, there were a few ‘over-refreshed’ sorts, but ‘Mad Friday’ definitely did not kick-off in SW3. Thank bloody goodness.
As Theresa May hangs on in spite of revolts and defeats, Matthew Steeples asks: ‘How much longer can this kitten heeled harbinger of disaster hang on?’
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
Macbeth (I, i, 1-2)
For Theresa May, like buses, defeats come in threes. In spite of wheeling out Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom – dressed yet again in her pink dominatrix studded leather jacket – to claim that the lousy non-deal the government had negotiated could still proceed, it has now become utterly clear that most MPs and more importantly the public have had enough.
Andrea Leadsom’s bizarre outfit choice was yet again inspired by both Barbie and Katie Price, whilst Geoffrey Cox simply failed in his quest for divine intervention
Staggering on is all very well, but as Isobel Oakeshott pointed out on the BBC’s Politics Live this morning, Theresa May lost control many months ago. In fact, the minute this delusional woman called a General Election that was neither wanted or required, her cards became marked and her path to failure was confirmed.
Failing to respect the sovereignty of Parliament, however, was truly a stupid move and now, even in the highly, highly unlikely event that she wins on 11th December, Theresa May’s own party is obliged to ditch her. This hectoring vicar’s daughter yesterday failed as a Prime Minister as, in just a couple of hours, thrice she failed in the job’s key role – that of commanding a majority. Now, as the vultures, circle I again suggest it is time for a change of tack: Mrs May must go and she must go now.
#BringHerDown #MakeDecemberTheEndOfMay
Outside contenders to replace May
Ruth Davidson
In spite of the fact that she would need to become an MP in order to govern effectively, Ruth Davidson is extremely popular within the party. She speaks a lot of sense and reflects the modern age well.
Johnny Mercer MP
Sensible and pragmatic, Johnny Mercer could be the Conservatives’ Justin Trudeau. A former army officer and pin-up, here is a man who is a breath of fresh air.
Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler”
Other than the legendary Roy Brooks, the only honest man in his game, estate agents will be optimistic about just about anything. A bit of damp: “no problem”; a nuclear power station next door: “positively charming” but John D. Wood & Co. truly take the biscuit with the marketing material for a property they are currently trying to let in chi-chi Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London.
Sent to us by an eagle eyed reader, the £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week), 867 square foot three floor aforementioned house has conventional features such as a reception room, kitchen, three bedrooms and a bathroom. It also, rather unconventionally, has walls that haven’t even been painted and are just bare plaster. Pictures show also scruffily made-up beds propped up on wooden blocks, wiring and ageing televisions discarded on the floors and a garden littered with leaves.
Of this strange offering, our reader remarked: “I saw this listing and thought it was a half-finished project and up for sale, but no, it’s a rental. Buy-to-let plainly says can’t afford to finish it, says sod it and tries to rent it out in a half-finished state and describe it as a ‘unique house packed with character and charm.’ I particularly like the exposed gas meter!”
When he telephoned, a member of staff at John D. Wood told our reader: “The landlord would prefer to rent the property ‘as is’ and not do further work. It would be at least £1,000 per week if it were finished. He is happy for any tenant to paint and make further improvements.”
In typical estate agent fashion, she optimistically added: “It does have a new boiler.”
Roy Brooks – “A painfully honest estate agent”
“Beyond any doubt the best copywriter for property advertising in the history of the British press,” Roy Brooks (died 1971) took a “puckish delight in telling the truth” about the houses he was asked to sell.
An example of this Kings Road based eccentric’s advertisements read:
“Do not be misled by the trim exterior of this modest period res with its dirty broken windows; all is not well with the inside. The décor of the nine rooms, some of which hangs inelegantly from the walls, is revolting. Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a pathetic kitchen and one cold tap. No bathroom, of course, but Chelsea has excellent public baths. Rain sadly drips through the ceiling on to the oilcloth. The pock-marked basement floor indicates a thriving community of woodworm, otherwise there is not much wrong with the property… Sacrifice £6,750.”
Another announced:
“Wanted: Someone with taste, means and a stomach strong enough to buy this erstwhile house of ill-repute in Pimlico. It is untouched by the 20th century as far as conveniences for even the basic human decencies are concerned. Although it reeks of damp or worse, the plaster is coming off the walls and daylight peeps through a hole in the roof, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and empty bottles in one corner. Plenty of scope for the socially aspiring to express their decorative taste and get their abode in The Glossy, and nothing to stop them putting Westminster on their notepaper. Comprises 10 rather unpleasant rooms with slimy back yard, £4,650 Freehold. Tarted up, these houses make £15,000.”
Justifying his reasoning for driving his Rolls-Royce from London to Russia loaded up with 1,000 pairs of shoes, Brooks – author of Brothel in Pimlico and Mud, Straw and Insults: Confessions of an Honest Estate Agent – glibly explained: “I take these for old times’ sake – Stalingrad and the defeat of the German hordes. Perhaps I could bring back in return some of their women engineers whose factories I saw prefabricating good homes by the thousands.”
With flooding battering Britain and snow in New York, now’s the time to stay indoors. What could be better than a film fest? Here, in no particular order, are five of my favourites (more…)
Our man in whites Fred Sculthorp looks ahead to this week’s Test cricket series, The Ashes
The enemy are at the gates. The time has come. Tomorrow, two of the great sporting civilizations will clash in mankind’s most profound expression of physical and mental endurance- the five day Test match. (more…)
In spite of the fact that she would need to become an MP in order to govern effectively, Ruth Davidson is extremely popular within the party. She speaks a lot of sense and reflects the modern age well.
Sensible and pragmatic, Johnny Mercer could be the Conservatives’ Justin Trudeau. A former army officer and pin-up, here is a man who is a breath of fresh air.
