The Steeple Times

Tag: Pont Street

  • Word of the Week 2021 – Going to the Polls

    Word of the Week 2021 – Going to the Polls

    Susie Dent shares the fascinating origin of “going to the polls” just as Count Binface looks to get more votes than Laurence Fox in spite of the latter having a ludicrous £5 million campaign pot

    With voting underway across the country, “that woman in Dictionary Corner” Susie Dent this morning shared with her 753,000 followers on Twitter the origin of “going to the polls” this morning:

     

    Origin of the day: the ‘poll’ in ‘going to the polls’ originally meant ‘head’, referring to the counting of heads or votes. A ‘noddypoll’ was an incompetent fool, a ‘clod-poll’ a blockhead, and a ‘tadpoll’ (later ‘tadpole’) a ‘toad-head’.        

     

    Referencing what a lacklustre bag of bilge Londoners have been offered by the mainstream parties and echoing Nikolay Kalinin’s analysis of Labour’s national multifaceted mess for The Steeple Times yesterday, Inside Croydon declared of the campaign:

     

    “It has been a very long, and very tedious, London election campaign, but for some of the capital’s voters, perhaps bewildered by the multitude of different voting systems employed and vast number of candidates for Mayor or the London Assembly, there has been one bright spot: Count Binface.”

     

    “In elections that were postponed from 2020, among the various races-within-the-race for City Hall, there is a fascination among those who long ago tired of the lies of Tory Shaun Bailey or the deadly dull platitudes of Sadiq Khan (did you know: his father was a London bus driver?), the idea that a geezer with a bin on his head could attract more votes than the spittle-flecked campaign of Laurence Fox has lightened the mood these past couple of weeks.”

     

    “And what’s more, unlike so much of so many of the pointless political campaigns, Binface is actually doing some good, by raising thousands of pounds for homelessness charities.”

     

    Elsewhere on social media yesterday, Count Binface himself shared an amusing video based on Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody asking his followers to make him their first choice today. The Steeple Times’ editor Matthew Steeples duly obliged when he headed to St Columba’s Church of Scotland in Pont Street, SW1 this morning and casted a protest for Max Fosh as his second choice also.

     

    Going to the Polls – Count Binface morphed into Whitney Houston to share his final pitch to be the next Mayor of London “and/or the UK’s next Eurovision entry.” He urged: “Make me your first choice vote, and together we will crush the loopy candidates. (You know who I mean.)”
    Going to the Polls – Susie Dent, as ever, brought a bit of insight on polling day 2021.
    Going to the Polls – Boris Johnson was escorted to vote in Westminster by his latest baby mama Carrie Symonds at just before 8am this morning. Whether she had to help the ‘noddypoll’ PM mark his voting card or not is unknown.
    Word of the Week 2021 – Going to the Polls – Fox v Binface – Susie Dent shares the fascinating origin of “going to the polls” just as Count Binface looks to get more votes than Laurence Fox in spite of the latter having a ludicrous £5 million campaign pot.
    Going to the Polls – Many Twitter users mocked the ex-actor Fox and remarked of their desire for Count Binface to actually be his ex-wife Billie Piper in disguise.
    Word of the Week 2021 – Going to the Polls – Fox v Binface – Susie Dent shares the fascinating origin of “going to the polls” just as Count Binface looks to get more votes than Laurence Fox in spite of the latter having a ludicrous £5 million campaign pot.
    Going to the Polls – The parody Boris Johnson account went further and declared: “To be honest, I don’t care if we take Hartlepool, as long as Count Binface beats that streak of piss, Laurence Fox.” 1,200 clicked “love” in response. Author Emma Kennedy added: “When Count Binface gets more votes than Waitrose Tommy Robinson tomorrow, I look forward to the 3682 5k thinkpieces/profile articles in The Telegraph and Sunday Times telling us what a brave visionary Count Binface is. Also: BBCQT AHOY!” and got 1,600 “loves” also.
    Word of the Week 2021 – Going to the Polls – Fox v Binface – Susie Dent shares the fascinating origin of “going to the polls” just as Count Binface looks to get more votes than Laurence Fox in spite of the latter having a ludicrous £5 million campaign pot.
    Going to the Polls – John O’Connell announced: “Duty done. I voted. Now I can freely spend the rest of the day taking the piss out of Shaun Bailey and Laurence Fox, and cheering on Count Binface.”
  • Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

    Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention

    Dawn Ward was most likely a bully at school. Prone to pointing her finger and screaming like a banshee on butane, this attention seeking wench tries to fight dirty, but in reality is just a cowardly cretin.

     

    After The Steeple Times quite accurately reported on Mrs Ward – a genuine halfwit harridan whom sadly rose to the Z-list as a result of seeking out publicity through an ITV show named Real Housewives of Cheshire – being charged with racially aggravated harassment of two Jewish brothers and possession of cocaine, she not only blocked us on Twitter but also got her troll troupe on the case.

     

    In response to Twitter subsequently suggesting the removal of a link to our article, we say this: “We entirely stand by what we said about the Cheshire cat Dawn Ward and again highlight her for what she truly is: Trailer trash and the modern-day equivalent of Bet Lynch on steroids.”

     

    Ward, whose “fish fueled fight” with a bit of “napkin slapping” with the singer Sinitta landed her with a conviction for assault in June 2016, should simply realise this as she awaits her truly deserved trial in March 2022: If she can’t take the heat, she shouldn’t go near the coke and quite frankly, she ought to bloody well get out of her especially naff kitchen.

     

    Pictured top: Dawn Ward always delivers when it comes to posing for the camera.

     

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    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Dirty Dawn Ward of Real Housewives of Cheshire – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Washed up wastrel Dawn Ward often looks angry, but she’d be advised to tone down her temper when she appears in court for alleged cocaine possession and racially aggravated harassment in March 2022.
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Dirty Dawn Ward of Real Housewives of Cheshire – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Dopey Dawn Ward has blocked on ‘The Steeple Times’ on Twitter. As Lauren Cooper in ‘The Catherine Tate Show’ would say: “Am I bovvered?”
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Dirty Dawn Ward of Real Housewives of Cheshire – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – Creosoted creature Dawn Ward – whom has also been accused of owing £500,000 to fellow ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ participant Leanne Brown – may have spent a small fortune on her kitchen, but anyone sane would just throw such naff faux woodwork in a skip.
    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke – If the plastic not fantastic wack job that is Dawn Ward had been born in a different age, she’d likely be a reincarnation of Violet Elizabeth Bott.

  • A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

    Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession

    Just as everyone rejoiced after believing they’d heard the last of the dastardly dope that is Dawn Ward, the old trout had to go and resurface.

     

    Featured in the MailOnline this morning, the creosoted creature and supposed Real Housewives of Cheshire ‘star’ Ward appeared at the Inner London Crown Court yesterday via videolink for a pre-trial hearing where she was told she is now set to face trial in March 2022. She is charged with the racially aggravated harassment of two Jewish brothers and possession of a Class A drug, cocaine, at Euston Railway Station on 29th October 2019.

     

    Like fellow brawling bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben, brassy Mrs Ward – a potty mouthed wench prone to telling anyone whom dares to put in her rightful place in the sewer to “do one” – has previous experience at Hammersmith Magistrates’ Court. She was convicted of assault after attacking the singer Sinitta Malone in a “fish fueled fight” in June 2016.

     

    Of her impending trial, a spokesman for “Bet Lynch on steroids” told The Sun:

     

    “She vehemently denies these allegations and looks forward to clearing her name in court when the full facts can be made public.”

     

    For her sake, Cheshire cat Ward would do best to avoid using the same inept legal representatives as in 2016. They failed to get her off what appeared a pretty weak charge and what she herself described as a “storm in a tea cup.”

     

    At the time, of the “napkin slapping” over talk of her husband “sleeping around” episode district judge Elizabeth Roscoe remarked: “I’m satisfied that when Mrs Ward prodded or poked Miss Malone it was an assault by beating and was unlawful, although the force was minimal, not strong. Therefore, I find the case proven.”

     

    Miaow.

     

    Pictured top: Plastic not fantastic Dawn Ward takes to pointing a finger when she doesn’t get her way; she has previously been accused of napkin slapping and now faces a trial for a bit of racism and drug possession also.

     

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    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward charged with racial abuse and drugs possession – Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession.
    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward with her ex-footballer husband Ashley Ward (left) and dressed up in fetish gear with what one might politely term “a gimp” (right). Here’s one classy bird. Not.
    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward charged with racial abuse and drugs possession – Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession.
    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Mrs Ward has been trying to sell her gaudily decorated Cheshire home, Warford Hall, Great Warford, near Alderley Edge, Cheshire, SK9 7TU for years. Though she reduced the price from £15 million to £12 million, there have thus far, unsurprisingly, been no takers for this vulgarian’s Victorian. Its appearances on the ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ did nothing to aid its sale and it was here that during an interview with the ‘Mirror’ this classy creature charmingly announced: “I don’t do Prosecco, babe, only the real stuff. I have a gag reflex if anyone tries to hand me a glass of that s***.”
    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward charged with racial abuse and drugs possession – Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession.
    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Queen of fake Dawn Ward (right) with fellow ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ participant Leanne Brown and some astounded looking semi-nude waiters. Mrs Brown later went to “war” on Mrs Ward after claiming she owed her £500,000.
  • (Not So) Mad Friday

    (Not So) Mad Friday

    ‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples

     

    Last year, as I walked across the Royal Borough in the evening of the day known as ‘Mad Friday’ or ‘Black Friday’ – the Friday before Christmas and the most popular night of the year for the public to go mental on the streets – I witnessed pissed-up children vomiting in Cadogan Gardens and grown men fighting in Sloane Square.

     

    Aside from dodging past loose looking women smeared with lipstick with their shoes off falling over in Kings Road and avoiding eye contact with yobbish sorts drunkenly attempting to croon in Pont Street, I somehow got to my destination unblemished and poured myself a stiff drink.

     

    This year, thanks I guess to it raining, it was thankfully not quite the same. Yes, there were a few ‘over-refreshed’ sorts, but ‘Mad Friday’ definitely did not kick-off in SW3. Thank bloody goodness.

     

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    (Not So) Mad Friday – ‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples. (Not So) Mad Friday – ‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples. (Not So) Mad Friday – ‘Mad Friday’ thankfully calmer than ever in Chelsea reports Matthew Steeples.

  • Win a Knightsbridge Flat (with a Shady Past)

    Win a Knightsbridge Flat (with a Shady Past)

    Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted ‘gay sex plot’ royal blackmailer who died in 2016

     

    Increasingly, with sellers unable to offload prime properties due to Theresa May’s inability to secure any kind of Brexit deal and the ongoing effects of former Chancellor George Osborne’s increases to stamp duty, those with luxury flats and houses are turning to raffling them.

     

    An example of such comes in in the form of a ground and first floor maisonette on the corner of Walton Street and Beauchamp Place in London’s Knightsbridge. Extending to 1,063 square foot and including a large reception room, 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, the aforementioned fully furnished property is ambitiously being touted as being worth £3.2 million in spite of having sold for just £1.4 million in 2007 and £575,000 in 2000.

     

    Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)
    The ground floor sitting room of the flat; the property has been marketed for rental at a price of £2,750 per week in times past

    Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)
    Bisexual ‘royal blackmailer’ Ian Strachan lived in the flat for a period following his release from jail

     

    Now marketed in a competition by a company named Your Laddr – run by a former Alexander McQueen merchandiser named Santa Agolli – for £10 a ticket, Flat 1 at 132 Walton Street, SW3 is being promoted without mention of one of its most recent occupants, a controversial and now deceased ‘royal blackmailer’ who’d sought £50,000 for a set of recordings from various national newspapers in 2007.

     

    Tried under the name of Paul Aðalsteinsson (other aliases included Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein), Grimsby trawlerman’s son turned “playboy” Ian Strachan lived at 132 Walton Street after being released following serving a sentence of five years for a gay sex blackmail plot against an unnamed, married member of the royal family.  He subsequently had his left leg amputated following a 30-foot fall from a balcony in Imperial Wharf, SW6 in 2013 and then spent 10 months in jail in Dubai in 2015 after crashing an Audi R8. He died aged just 40 of a drug overdose in South Kensington on Christmas Eve 2016.

     

    The winner of Flat 132, Walton Street will have their stamp duty, legal fees and council tax for one year paid as part of the prize. In addition, they will be ‘given’ a 2017 Jeep Wrangler Black Hawk with 800 miles on the clock, a cash amount of upto £4,000 to cover insurance for one year and a cash payment to cover a Kensington and Chelsea parking permit for one year also. Hopefully they’ll have better luck than the tragic Mr Strachan; may he rest in peace.

     

    To enter the competition, click here.

     

    Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge London, SW3 1RE – The Numbers

     

    August 2018 – Prize draw remains open indicating that ticket sales must be rather slow.

     

    December 2017 – Offered in a raffle for £10 per ticket with a minimum of 380,000 tickets needed to be sold. This would equate to a return of £3.8 million ($4.9 million, €4.2 million or درهم17.9 million) in ticket sales.

     

    November 2007 – Sold for £1.436 million ($1.845 million, €1.581 million or درهم6.776 million).

     

    October 2000 – Sold for £575,000 ($739,000, €633,000 or درهم2.713 million).

     

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    Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein) Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein) Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)Win a Knightsbridge Flat (With A Shady Past) – Flat 1, 132 Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1RE – Competition to win a Knightsbridge flat for £10 per ticket neglects to mention its former occupier, a convicted royal blackmailer named Ian Strachan (also known as Paul Aðalsteinsson, Paul Adalsteinsson, Paul Stein and Charles Goldstein)

  • Hidden in Hans

    Hidden in Hans

    Hidden house in Knightsbridge for sale for £1.595 million; it might suit those with an aspiration to live like Julian Assange

     

    A cleverly refurbished ‘hidden house’ behind 163 Pavilion Road in Knightsbridge has been brought to the market by Savills.

     

    699 square foot Hans Cottage has its own private front door, a patio garden and features an open plan reception-kitchen, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a utility room. It is available on a leasehold basis with approximately 99 years remaining.

     

    £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) is sought for the property – which is just a few hundred metres from the hideout of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. It was previously marketed for £1.25 million ($1.60 million, €1.49 million or درهم5.88 million) in an unrenovated state in May 2012.

     

    Hidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through SavillsHidden in Hans – Hans Cottage, 163 Pavilion Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW1X 0BJ – For sale for £1.595 million ($2.044 million, €1.906 million or درهم7.507 million) through Savills

  • Rumblings in Pont Street

    Rumblings in Pont Street

    Scene of a Dawn Ward shoving match Salmontini closes to makes way for a new restaurant by chef Nuno Goncalves; next door, hotel The Hari replaces its Pont Street restaurant too

     

    Opened in September 2014, Salmontini was a restaurant in Belgravia’s Pont Street that was never going to be a hit. Aside from its weird name, it was the scene of a fish fuelled fight between the former pop singer Sinitta and the champagne loving, Prosecco hating Real Housewives of Cheshire “star” Dawn Ward in September 2015. Mrs Ward, a balayage haired woman with an attitude to social media usage similar to Donald Trump, was subsequently convicted of assault in June 2016.

     

    On Thursday on Facebook, former 12 Hay Hill chef Nuno Goncalves announced that he is to take over Salmontini’s premises as chef-patron. He stated:

     

    “1 Pont St. House will be my new venture, where you can expect a relaxed atmosphere, classy fine dining where the emphasis is on the best quality farm and urban farm to table produce, the season’s best foraged ingredients cooked with an array of old meets new cooking techniques”.

     

    The double-fronted building, which was previously occupied by amongst others The Palm and Drones, stands next to The Hari (formerly the Belgraves London hotel). Its strangely decorated restaurant, Pont Street by Sophie Michell, closed recently too and will be replaced in February by an Italian bar and restaurant named Il Pampero.

     

    Rumblings in Pont Street – Salmontini closes down, Nuno Goncalves opens 1 Pont Street House – Pont Street at Belgraves London by Sophie Michell closes down, The Hari London opens Il Pampero – Restaurant openings, restaurant closings
    Salmontini has now closed down

    Rumblings in Pont Street – Salmontini closes down, Nuno Goncalves opens 1 Pont Street House – Pont Street at Belgraves London by Sophie Michell closes down, The Hari London opens Il Pampero – Restaurant openings, restaurant closings
    Pont Street at the former Belgraves London hotel is currently undergoing renovation

  • Arthur Woodham

    Arthur Woodham

    Born on Christmas Day 1927, Arthur Woodham is famed for his eponymous café in Kingsland Road, Dalston. (more…)

  • Shovingtini

    Shovingtini

    Belgravia restaurant Salmontini named in court in relation to a shoving match between pop singer Sinitta Malone and ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’s’ Dawn Ward (more…)

  • The Ark of Brompton Cross

    The Ark of Brompton Cross

    Playboys swarming the streets of SW3 have turned Brompton Cross into the Arabian answer to Oxford Circus (more…)