Celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Coronation
Sixty years ago today, Princess Elizabeth became Her Majesty The Queen. Today we at The Steeple Times join with the nation in celebrating this historic moment.

Celebrating the 60th anniversary of the Coronation
Sixty years ago today, Princess Elizabeth became Her Majesty The Queen. Today we at The Steeple Times join with the nation in celebrating this historic moment.

A Conservative MP sensibly suggests that this week’s killing in Woolwich was not terrorism
In the days since the terrible murder of Lee Rigby, 25, in Woolwich, the BNP, the EDL and other racists have leapt on the description of it as “terrorism”.


A modern day Robin Hood who claimed to have been “sent by God to take back some of the wealth that the outrageously rich had taken from the rest of us”. This Belfast born cat burglar was a meticulous planner whose roll call of marks numbered Sophia Loren, Zsa Zsa Gabor, John Aspinall and Maria Callas. He quoted Confucius, Oscar Wilde and Proust and targeted “rich prats” as it gave him a “sexual thrill”. The 1965 film He Who Rides a Tiger starring Tom Bell and Judi Dench was based on Scott and concluded that: “If I rob Ivana Trump, it is just a meeting of two different kinds of degeneracy on a dark rooftop”. Raffles would have been proud.

Belfast born Clugston is known as “The Posh Radio 4 Lady” or “The PR4L” and is BBC Radio 4’s continuity announcer. This witty lady’s voice is familiar to millions as a result of this but she’s also the female Irish voice for TomTom satellite navigation systems and the creator of the “Radio4minus1letter” Twitter based game. In her spare time, she plays the ukulele.
An Australian tycoon announces a bizarre plan to launch a replica of the doomed passenger liner RMS Titanic
This week, a “brash” 58-year old Australian mining tycoon named Clive Palmer announced that he will launch a full-scale replica of the RMS Titanic in 2016.



On hearing of this, I wondered if April Fool’s Day had come early, but it turns out that this billionaire is quite serious in his ambitions. Palmer, who is funding the estimated £133 million project personally, has just begun a world tour to share his plans. The businessman, in a bow to history, has even appointed Terry Ismay, a descendant of the Titanic’s owner, Joseph Bruce Ismay (1862 – 1937), whom many still refer to as “The Coward of the Titanic”, to the advisory board of the Blue Star Line, the company formed to manage the boat. Mr Ismay will be one of the guests of honour at a dinner at London’s Natural History Museum to celebrate the project tomorrow, Saturday 2nd March. The same 11-course menu first class passengers on the Titanic consumed on the fateful night of 14th April 1912 will be served.
Preliminary plans reveal the Titanic II will be some 55,800 gross tonnes in weight, 883 foot long and propelled by three azimuth thrusters. It will have a maximum speed of 24 knots, the same as the first Titanic. The ocean liner will have a capacity of 2,345 passengers and a crew of 900. Unlike the RMS Titanic, which had just 16 lifeboats for 1,178 people, the Titanic II will have 18 covered motorised lifeboats capable of carrying 2,700 and life rafts with an additional capacity of 800.


Though the replica vessel will be virtually the same size as the original and will feature the same class divisions of first, second and third class, there will be differences. The “shopping areas” found on many modern day cruise boats will be present and sensibly, there will be extra bathroom facilities and air conditioning. A decision as to whether Wi-Fi and televisions will be provided is yet to be made.
In a press release, Professor Palmer, who is described on Wikipedia as “an eccentric billionaire with a reputation for bizarre publicity stunts”, romantically stated:
“Why build the Titanic? Why go to the moon? Why do the Yankees play the Red Sox? Why did Christopher Columbus discover the Americas? Because they could, and they can, and we can build the Titanic”.
“By learning from the lessons of the past, the spirit of Rose and Jack, Romeo and Juliet, lives in all of us. The spirit of life, the spirit of love, to dream the impossible dream, all of us live in time, this is our moment, this is our turn to board Titanic II and set sail on a new sea, of our own making”.
“The Titanic was a ship of dreams, Titanic II is the ship where dreams will come true”.
Unlike the original RMS Titanic, which was built in the Harland and Wolff yard in Belfast, it is intended that Titanic II will be constructed in the Chinese state-owned shipyard, CSC Jinling. This is a curious choice as the company have no experience in constructing passenger vessels and as of date, according to Zheng Yi of the Global Times, no contract for completion of Titanic II has been signed, no date for start of construction has been fixed and no price has been finalised.
Equally, the first of a series of launch events for the project on a pier in New York this week (which began with a “rather cheesy guitar rendition of Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On”) was met with derision by many, amongst them Vanity Fair’s Juli Weiner. In her article, Weiner refers to the “morally reprehensible and dehumanizing economic divisions” that “one weird rich dude’s” boat will feature and goes on to describe it as “the second worst cruise we’ve ever heard of”.


Robert Colville of the Australian title The Age, however, took a contrary view and though skeptical about this “bizarre” and “crazily ambitious scheme” shared his admiration for Palmer:
“Palmer risks becoming a latter-day Ozymandias, his monument a 50,000-tonne liner rather than a crumbling statue. Yet at least he has the courage to dream his impossible dream, and help make the world a slightly weirder, and slightly more wonderful place”.
Larger than life, Queensland based Palmer is known for causing controversy. In 2012, he suggested Greenpeace were funded by the CIA and were attempting to bring down the Australian coal mining sector with the help of Barrack Obama and the Rockefeller Foundation:
“You only have to go back and read the Church Report in the 1970s and to read the reports to the US Congress which sets up the Rockefeller Foundation as a conduit of CIA funding, you only have to look at their secret budget which was passed by Congress last year, bigger than our whole national economy, which the CIA’s got to ensure that. You only have to read the reports to US Congress when the CIA reported to the president that their role was to ensure the US competitive advantage and economic advantages. That’s how you know it’s funded by the CIA”.
No doubt, there are cranks out there who’d suggest the sinking of the RMS Titanic in April 1912 with the loss of 1,502 lives, was also a conspiracy. Given also Palmer’s odd view of the world, we’d most definitely avoid embarking on this tasteless pastiche of the tragically doomed ship, if, indeed, it is ever completed and if indeed it ever sets sail.
We leave the last word with the family of the RMS Titanic’s captain, Edward Smith R.D. R.N.R. (1850 – 1912), who have simply commented that the Titanic II is just a vessel that is being built “in bad taste”.
For more information about Titanic II, go to: http://bluestarline.com.au

The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds
This week we must thank Dan Large for having alerted us to an amazing YouTube video showing Her Majesty The Queen’s life in 3 minutes and 24 seconds.

Created by “an old retired guy who likes to play with computers” named “HerBunk” and using the technological wizardy of FantaMorph, the video has attracted nearly 6,000 likes and 300 dislikes. We look forward to hearing what readers of The Steeple Times make of it.
Watch the video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8nJhG1xE5o&feature=share

A review of Fighting Season by Graham Lee
At school, one of my classmates was a chap named Graham Lee. We used to travel home together on the same bus from Lancaster and as both our mothers worked at the same university and shared a love of all things equestrian, we had much in common.

Naturally, as happens when one goes to university, we lost touch and it was the phenomenon that is Facebook that caused us to regain contact with one another recently. Whilst I may have enjoyed a somewhat colourful time working for a billionaire, launching drinks brands and writing, Lee has been involved in something far more important in the time since we left Lancaster Royal Grammar School in 1999.
Lee, after Cambridge and Sandhurst, served in Kenya and Germany and then as an officer in the British Army’s spearhead Air Assault Brigade was sent to Afghanistan. In Fighting Season: Tales of a British Officer in Afghanistan, he recounts his experiences in a way that reveals that fighting a war there is very much different to how we see it in newspapers and on our televisions.
Mixing the every day travails of being a soldier, though doing so unlike others who’ve written of the Afghan campaign without focusing too much on a lack of equipment and bashing the government, Lee paints a picture of a country where loyalty changes constantly. Alongside accounts of dealings with the “Bond villain” General Muhayadin, who goes mad when a consignment of tomato paste isn’t delivered on time, but whom “knew exactly what he was doing” when exploiting the British into building checkpoints; Lee graphically explains how power, dominance and sex are thought of by many soldiers:
“ ‘Smash her in,’ was the phrase we’d been taught. It replaced ‘make love to her.’ It was a good phrase because it removed the necessity of being desired… Every man in the army knew how to dominate and be dominated. Power and violence were our bread and butter… Power. Domination. Violence. Sex.”
The book is not without humour. A passage about an “ancient general,” for example, tells of how, for him, the phrase “well done” had become a “reflex action” as he’d used it so much:
“Outside a country church he’d be introduced to a frail old lady with the line ‘this is Margaret. Her sister was killed in the blitz you know.’”
The Taliban themselves are presented as the unseen enemy in the main but again wit is used to depict them in a passage about ICOM intercepts:
“Taliban 1: Go and bring me the two headed thing that uses a lot of ammunition, not a pickaxe!
(He was talking about a rocket propelled grenade)
Taliban 2: OK.
Taliban 1: One time, when I asked this someone brought me an actual pickaxe!”
On a more serious note, the book deals with the death of Lee’s colleagues and delves into the psyche of being a soldier in passages such as:
“I could remember seeing British soldiers in Northern Ireland when I was a boy on holiday, driving past them and watching them look down on our car from behind their guns. They’d seemed like a horrible bunch of bastards. Now it was me behind the machine gun, encased by armour and uniform, with the little boy in rags standing in front of me, the muzzle of my gun covering half of his tiny body. How strange is life, I thought.”
Fighting Season is a book that points out the illogical nature of the Afghans and the seriously high level of bribery in their country. It details the horrors of war but also reveals how soldiers use humour to keep themselves sane.
In his final paragraph, Lee talks about being in his officers’ mess bar discussing how girlfriends often compare Afghanistan to a “big game of Lazerquest” and do not understand the differences betweem artillery and guns. He concludes with the line:
“And with that we bought ourselves another beer, and started talking about something else.”
When we meet again, Graham, the beer is on me.
Fighting Season by Graham Lee. Published by Duckworth Overlook, 2012. ISBN: 9780715644979. £16.99.
To purchase a copy, go to: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fighting-Season-Graham-Lee/dp/0715642979

Music fit for The Queen
In recent days, Gary Barlow’s albumn Sing has topped the UK album charts with sales of 40,000 copies.
Two hundred and ten musicians, including the African Children’s Choir and the Royal Solomon Islands Police Force Band, helped record this special tribute to The Queen. Produced by Barlow with the assistance of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Gareth Malone, Sing also features Prince Harry on the tambourine, Hayley Westenra, Alfie Boe and the Military Wives choir. Sing will be performed this evening at a special concert at Buckingham Palace in the presence of Her Majesty.
Another tribute I was alerted to came from a singer named Anton Lorien who contacted me via Twitter. He was approached in 2011 by the British Monarchist League who asked him to produce a song for a lady he describes as having: “Given her life selflessly to the people of Britain and the Commonwealth.”
Mr Lorien’s song, Like A Diamond, is available to download on iTunes but I wholeheartedly recommend that you watch the video clip available above. It contains some wonderful footage of The Queen and the clip at 3:33 where our Monarch runs to watch her racehorse is especially worth seeing.

Both Sing and Like A Diamond capture the feelings of our nation brilliantly. Be sure to sing along tonight.
For more information about Anton Lorien’s Like A Diamond, go to: http://www.antonlorien.com
For more information on Gary Barlow & The Commonwealth Band’s Sing, got to: http://www.jubileesing.com

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II governed as constitutional monarch of 16 sovereign states and headed the 54-member Commonwealth of Nations. Supported by her gaffe prone husband, “Brenda,” as Private Eye nicknamed her, served steadfast through good times and bad. She liked to drive a little quickly when given control of the wheel of a Range Rover and also found washing up relaxing. This monarch like no other will never be forgotten.
