The Steeple Times

Tag: Mrs May

  • Brenda from Bristol

    Brenda from Bristol

    Pearl clad pensioner ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of the 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a BBC reporter. This 75-year old retired secretary spoke for the nation in remarking: “You’re joking? Not another one!” Oh for God’s sake, I can’t honestly… I can’t stand this. There’s too much politics going on at the moment. Why does she [Theresa May] need to do it?” and later added: “There’s hardly anybody in any of the parties that you’d put your life on the line for. We need somebody who’s got a little bit of guts to get us all going”. Brenda is entirely right: It is time that politicians stopped bothering us.

     

    #BrendaForPM

     

    Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter. Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.

  • Picture of the Week – Chippy May

    Picture of the Week – Chippy May

    Images of Theresa May eating chips prove to be her ‘Ed Milliband moment’

     

    Theresa May likes to refer to her “red, white and blue Brexit” and “Corbyn’s coalition of chaos”, but yesterday, the hectoring vicar’s daughter had a moment of madness when she decided to allow herself be photographed eating chips in Cornwall.

     

    The Prime Minister – now the winner of the “most awkward photo of a politician eating ever” – was subsequently  lampooned on Twitter and of the image, one user named @iBreezeblock brilliantly remarked: “Theresa May eats chips like a disturbed seabird eats her own young”.

     

    #Awkward #MakeJuneEndOfMay

     

  • Video of the Week – Mocking May

    Video of the Week – Mocking May

    Comedian Jan Ravens’ impersonation of Theresa May is utterly brilliant

     

    With the election campaign under way, a little humour is definitely required and a comical video shared on YouTube provides just such.

     

    Featuring the actress Jan Ravens’ take on Theresa May, the 2:45 minute clip has over attracted over 70,000 hits – and even Tory supporters have celebrated its sheer brilliance.

     

    In it, Ravens mocks Mrs May’s enthusiasm for grammar schools and remarks on her having put an alternative to the Chuckle brothers in charge of Brexit. She speaks of us “now [being] the cautionary tale other countries tell their electorates to stop them doing anything so bloody stupid in the future” and adds: “We are now the global ghost of Christmas future: Asymmetric neckline, bad blow dry, tense mouth”.

     

  • Another Corbyn Calamity

    Another Corbyn Calamity

    Matthew Steeples reports that Jeremy Corbyn’s attempt to enthuse a child in Harlow didn’t go down well; children and politicians should never mix

     

    Yesterday, Jeremy Corbyn headed to Harlow, Essex. He gave a speech to an assembled audience – including a woman with an upside down Labour poster – and then picked up a child and tried to charm it.

     

    After I noted on Twitter that “the poor kid’ll be scarred for life #Awkward”, the child’s mother, Chloe Pullara, responded: “That’ll be my baby. It was an honour to meet @jeremycorbyn”.

     

    In a video also shared by Ms Pullara, Corbyn is seen asking the child: “Are ya’ alright then?” It hid behind its coat and did not look in the slightest amused.

     

    Chloe Pullara, a lady whose Twitter handle features the caption “proud to be the 48%”, plainly ignores the fact that Jeremy Corbyn’s party is backing Brexit as, in another tweet, she then added:

     

    “So I just got to meet our future PM @jeremycorbyn. The most wonderful man who made time for each and every one of us”.

     

    The incident, which comes in the wake of Theresa May being caught grimacing at children in a classroom, is yet another reminder of only one thing: Children and politicians should simply not mix.

     

    Another Corbyn Calamity – Jeremy Corbyn scares child in Harlow, Essex – Thursday 27th April 2017 – Chloe Pullara @educatedmole

  • Mugged by May

    Mugged by May

    Theresa May’s gamble to go to the country will likely pay off, but is it good for Britain?

     

    Theresa May supposedly decided to go call a snap election after a trip to church and a walking holiday with her garden gnome-like husband, Philip, in Wales over Easter. She has taken a gamble but given that Sky News are projecting the Tories are likely to win 44% of the vote against Labour on 23%, it is one that will likely pay off.

     

    Unsurprisingly and in a coward-like fashion, Mrs May has declined to partake in television debates but given her opponent Jeremy Corbyn is so hopeless, it would take only a calamity to unsettle any chances of her winning. Only the left-leaning Mirror is backing Corbyn and in spite of the Liberal Democrats likely to make a number of gains in the south-west, May will certainly hit Labour hardest.

     

    Mrs May, however, is not good for Britain. Since taking office last year, she has performed eight U-turns on policy and as Home Secretary she was a total disgrace. One only has to remember that this is the woman who closed the police stations and this is the woman who closed the fire stations. This, also, is the politician who wastefully funded her friends Gerry and Kate McCann’s search for their missing child to the tune of £11 million and this is the woman whose inquiry into historic abuse has cost £100 million and delivered nothing.

     

    Lady Macbeth-like May is a self-serving woman and she is not a good premier. This power grabbing vicar’s daughter’s about turn on Brexit is bad for Britain and her harshness towards immigrants is bad for business. She must be stopped and we urge our readers to vote for anyone but her on 8th June.

     

  • Failing to Come Together

    Failing to Come Together

    Whilst Theresa May’s Easter message is nothing but a damp squib, Jeremy Corbyn’s response is as much use as a chocolate teapot

     

    “Let us come together… Let us build a stronger, fairer Britain that works for everyone”, clucked Theresa May on Sunday in a 3:10 minute Easter message posted on YouTube.

     

    Mixing her Christian values with Brexit, the unelected Prime Minister went on about growing up in a vicarage and stood next to a wonky light fitting. She neglected to mention how the Mail on Sunday had exposed her “grubby, underhand deal” that sacrifices endangered species in favour of trade and growth and she said nothing of the failing inquiry into historic abuse that she’s already wasted over £100 million on.

     

    In The Guardian, former Labour spin doctor Alastair Campbell took an axe to the message and lambasted it by commenting:

     

    “I think even vicars’ daughters should be a little wary of allying their politics to their faith… She does not exactly say if God had a vote he would have voted Leave, but she gets closer to it than she should. If she really thinks she is leading a united country full of hope … I suggest she gets out more”.

     

    He added:

     

    “I don’t think I have ever known Britain more divided. As for her talk of compassion, community, citizenship and obligations to one another, she has taken an axe to those with regard to Britain’s relations to the rest of the world, and plenty of her domestic agenda points in the opposite direction”.

     

    Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn responded by calling for “peace” and “reconciliation” but neither he nor Mrs May offer very much hope. God help us all and God help (once) Great Britain.

     

  • Mugged by Mrs May

    Mugged by Mrs May

    Updated: Theresa May forges a new career in post-Brexit Britain: Flogging tea towels and mugs

     

    Theresa May, a woman who should be busy sorting out the mess that is her “red, white and blue Brexit”, is in Saudi Arabia insulting the locals and refusing to wear a headscarf. She’s also been meddling in the affairs of the National Trust, moaning about Easter eggs and on Tuesday night an email pinged into our inbox from her “nattering” registered treasurer and director general of the Conservative Party, Alan Mabbutt.

     

    Mugged by Mrs May – Theresa May forges a new career in post-Brexit Britain: Flogging tea towels and mugs
    Update, 6th April, 4pm: A reader submitted an edited version of the mug; it portrays Mrs May’s plan a little more accurately

     

    In it, hapless Mr Mabbutt – a man once forced to apologise for sending dodgy emails – emphasised he has an OBE and asked: “My ‘Plan For Britain’ mug and tea towel have just arrived, have you ordered yours yet?” He then shamelessly urged supporters to donate £35 to get these limited edition items also and ridiculously claimed “supplies are running low”.

     

    Just as Lloyds of London plans to relocate much of their operations to Brussels and Bentley talk of escaping tariffs by moving to mainland Europe, plainly Mabbutt and May think tea towels and coffee cups are our future. God help once Great Britain.

     

    Mugged by Mrs May – Theresa May forges a new career in post-Brexit Britain: Flogging tea towels and mugsMugged by Mrs May – Theresa May forges a new career in post-Brexit Britain: Flogging tea towels and mugs

  • The Baloney of Brexit

    The Baloney of Brexit

    Summing up Britain beginning its road to Brexit and an amusing take on the Prime Minister’s letter to Donald Tusk

     

    Yesterday, Theresa May found her date with destiny and triggered Article 50. With no more restrictions on bendy bananas (a total myth) and the start of a long goodbye, Britain reached a “historic moment” from which there can be – as the shoe loving Prime Minister herself put it – “no turning back”.

     

    As Sky News suggested 56% of those they polled were happy with what is about to occur, Mrs May met with her cabinet in Downing Street. Bumbling Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson was the last to arrive at the gathering and the first to leave and later the well-known CV exaggerator turned Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Andrea Leadsom announced she was “very happy” with what had been discussed.

     

    May was unsurprisingly subsequently heckled in Parliament when she announced: “We know we will lose influence… The world needs the liberal, democratic values of Europe” and was met with disdain from Lord Heseltine also. He commented:

     

    “The letter represents the biggest sacrifice of British sovereignty that I can remember… All the stuff about gaining sovereignty will be exposed for the hypocrisy that it was… It is the biggest sacrifice of self-interest I know of”.

     

    Whilst the President of the European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker remarked of the biggest victory for nationalism since the Second World War: “I’m deeply sad”, we’ll leave the final word with the President of the European Council Donald Tusk. He added: “Thank you and goodbye”.

     

    An amusing take on Theresa May’s letter, shared widely on social media, to Donald Tusk follows:

    The Baloney of Brexit – Summing up Britain beginning its road to Brexit

     

  • Cooking-Up a Cock-Up

    Cooking-Up a Cock-Up

    As Donald Trump is criticised for dousing over-cooked steak in ketchup, we take a look at Theresa May’s preference for dining at the favourite restaurant of a paedophile and her lack of interest in the “absolutely meticulously” recipes of Delia Smith

     

    In 2008, Theresa May told The Guardian: “I’ve knocked on Rolf Harris’s door and asked for his vote” and in the very same article the now Prime Minister also cited the since jailed paedophile’s favourite restaurant, Maliks Tandoori House in Cookham, Berkshire, as her own hangout of choice too.

     

    The dining habits of top-drawer politicians came under scrutiny again earlier this week when Town & Country’s Sam Dangremond analysed Donald Trump’s preference for eating well-done steaks topped with ketchup. The 45th POTUS supposedly likes his meat to “rock on the plate” (according to his former butler) but in Britain, our somewhat clueless leader’s food choices are a little more specific.

     

    Aside from loving Indian cuisine and her eponymous “red, white and blue Brexit”, Mrs May is a woman with a preference for a no doubt red, white (but not so blue) Kit Kat and recipes from the cookbooks of the throttled ex-wife of Charles Saatchi, ‘Highgella’ Lawson. In 2008, she remarked: “The other day I did a Nigella recipe for a mustard-and-caper sauce on purple-sprouting broccoli”.

     

    The vicar’s daughter, it transpires, does not have Delia Smith’s books in her kitchen, however. Why? Not because the cook-turned-football-club-chairwoman is generally utterly smashed most of the time, but due to the fact she’s “absolutely meticulous”. The character of the government of Mrs May, thus, could be revealed in a cookbook; its title would no doubt be A Total & Utterly Unmeticulous Cock-Up.

     

    Cooking-Up a Cock-Up – Eating habits of Theresa May – Dining habits of Donald Trump and Theresa May. He likes overcooked steaks doused in ketchup; she likes to dine at the favourite restaurant of the paedo Rolf Harris
    Malik Ahmed with Theresa May
    Cooking-Up a Cock-Up – Eating habits of Theresa May – Dining habits of Donald Trump and Theresa May. He likes overcooked steaks doused in ketchup; she likes to dine at the favourite restaurant of the paedo Rolf Harris
    Rolf Harris with Alwyn Hughes and Malik Ahmed
    Cooking-Up a Cock-Up – Eating habits of Theresa May – Dining habits of Donald Trump and Theresa May. He likes overcooked steaks doused in ketchup; she likes to dine at the favourite restaurant of the paedo Rolf Harris
    A cartoon by Rolf Harris for Maliks restaurant
    Cooking-Up a Cock-Up – Eating habits of Theresa May – Dining habits of Donald Trump and Theresa May. He likes overcooked steaks doused in ketchup; she likes to dine at the favourite restaurant of the paedo Rolf Harris
    Donald Trump eating
  • Singleminded Sturgeon

    Singleminded Sturgeon

    As Nicola Sturgeon lobs a grenade at Theresa May’s “red, white and blue Brexit”, Jeremy Corbyn is met with equal derision

     

    Yesterday, Nicola Sturgeon pulled a blinder and threw a spanner in Theresa May’s plan to announce a “red, white and blue Brexit” with immediate effect.

     

    Undoubtedly the reason hapless Mrs May didn’t proceed to trigger Article 50 on Monday, Sturgeon’s actions left even Conservative hardliners questioning the merits of the unknown road Britain is currently on. They, of course, care for the Union more than anything else and that it is again at risk is most worrying indeed.

     

    On Tuesday morning, Tory MP Anna Soubry told SKY News:

     

    “I would say to Theresa May: Don’t turn your back on the Single Market. It would solve the problem in Scotland and Northern Ireland if we stayed in the Single Market”.

     

    Elsewhere, Labour lightweight Jeremy Corbyn took to Twitter to ask the public to “join [him] in Parliament Square and help defend the rights of EU citizens who have made a life here”. He was understandably met with utter derision and amongst the 618 comments in response were such remarks as:

     

    “Piss off Jeremy, you whipped your MPs into letting the UK get into this state. Stick your pointless rally up your arse”.

     

    “You do know you’re allowed inside Parliament, right? You actually have a nice platform in there where you can push for change”.

     

    “You’re the leader of a political party, not a protest movement. There’s a crucial vote in the Lords today, and soon in the Commons. Focus on that, not pick-nicking in the square”.

     

    “An oven glove on a stick would be a more effective opposition leader than you”.