The tedious twerp formerly known as Meghan Markle has had her maiden name turned into both a verb and a noun – go get ‘Meghan Markled’
Last week, both the Guardian and The Sun revealed a note of amusement in the context of the otherwise tedious familial feud between the devious Duchess of Sussex and her fobbed-off father in sharing that the walk-away royal has had her maiden name turned into a verb.
Whilst The Sun predictably mocked this trivial story at a time of a lack of news other than coronavirus, the Guardian’s “social justice” focused columnist Poppy Noor unsurprisingly lauded “to Meghan Markle” – or as she somewhat soppily put it, “to get the hell out [when] love is not returned.”
Noor went further and, in a decidedly ‘woke’ fashion, added of the Duchess of Sussex’s decision to head off to the land of profit in LA: “You could understand why Meghan Markle, who opted out of royalty this month after a year of being hounded and vilified by a racist, rightwing press could be referred to in some circles as the patron saint of good mental health” and shared a definition
“Meghan Markle, a verb, past tense – Meghan Markled: to value yourself and your mental health enough to up and leave a room/ situation/ environment in which your authentic self is not welcomed or wanted.”
Elsewhere previously, in January 2018, the Urban Dictionary took another view on what being ‘Meghan Markle’ and being ‘Meghan Markled’ means. They suggested it to be a “noun for coming up nicely despite your family’s socio-economic status.”
Putting it in context, they gave an example:
“A: I wonder how Lisa is doing. I haven’t spoken to her since her family drama situation. Poor thing.”
“B: Girl, she’s engaged to a Russian billionaire now. She Meghan Markle’d her way to the top!”
We’ll leave it to you, good readers, to decide which you prefer, but one thing’s for sure the saga of the attention obsessed ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her row with the media: It isn’t going to end any time soon.
Word of the Week 2021 – ‘Meghan Markled’ – The Duchess of Sussex has most definitely ‘Meghan Markled’ her way to the top and, along with her drip of a husband, is cashing in with huge payments from projects with Apple, Disney, Netflix and Spotify amongst other things.
Just as ultimate dumbo Lady Victoria Hervey shows herself up in stating “Fuck Black Lives Matter,” fellow aristo Dr. Bendor Grosvenor calls for the return of objects “looted during the British Empire”
Dimwitted dope Lady Victoria Hervey just cannot help but shove her stilettos straight into the proverbial. Whether be it her short-lived relationship with “he who doesn’t sweat in Pizza Express (Woking branch’)” ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew, or flogging knickers in her long since gone-bust shop in Knightsbridge displaying the words “Yes Please” across the crotch, here is a woman with utterly no shame and an utter incapacity to accept any kind of blame for her own failings.
Formerly nicknamed ‘Toff Totty Vicky,’ Lady Victoria predictably showed herself up by banging on about her associations with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell last year. This weekend, the bubbly blonde went further in posting a picture of the defaced statute of the Confederate general Robert E. Lee in Richmond, Virginia on her Instagram page. She not-so charmingly captioned the snap: “Don’t ever tell me this is acceptable behavior [sic]. Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter].”
Described by even a fellow socialite, the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, as “unpleasant” and “a right snob” previously, “luxury is in my blood” Lady Victoria was contradicted by the Reverend Robert W. Lee IV, the general’s great-great-grandson. He “gave his blessing for the monument to be removed” on Thursday according to the BBC and asked: “If today is not the right time, when will it be the right time [to remove the statue]?”
Going further of this situation on Twitter on Sunday, though talking in the context of the related British protests, fellow aristocrat Dr. Bendor Grosvenor – a distant relative of the present Duke of Westminster and a man best known for his stint on the BBC’s Fake or Fortune? art documentary series – tweeted:
“Let the Colston statue’s removal be a prompt for councils and museums across Britain to take action to remove similar artworks from display, *as well as* returning the thousands of cultural objects looted during the British Empire. Start now. We’ve waited too long.”
Sadly, yet not unsurprisingly, Lady Victoria – whose ancestor Frederick Hervey, 1stMarquess of Bristol ironically is best remembered as a “social reformer” and “an MP [who] voted for the abolition of slavery in 1807” – has previous form. In 2003, this ‘aristoprat’ stated: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”
Shame on this irrelevant ignoramus; it’s not Black Lives that don’t matter, it’s instead Victoria Hervey that doesn’t matter.
Lady Victoria Hervey with the Duke of York at a social gathering; supporter of the abolition of slavery and “social reformer” Frederick William Hervey, 5th Earl and 1st Marquess of Bristol (1769 – 1859).Lady Victoria Hervey’s offensive Instagram post was unsurprisingly met with disdain by many. One responded: “Wait, hold up Lady are you saying Fuck Black Lives ???” Another added: “But think you got to be careful saying fuck BLM… That’s not acceptable TBH. It’s offensive.” Dr. Bendor Grosvenor’s, by contrast, sensible tweet.
Classic clangers from former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey:
“I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”
“Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”
“I do have a day job.”
“My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”
“A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”
“I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”
“[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”
“I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”
“What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”
“The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”
“Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”
“I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”
“Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”
“I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”
“I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”
“I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”
“I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”
“I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”
“I don’t want to make enemies.”
Pictured top: Lady Victoria Hervey with Ghislaine Maxwell, the alleged madam and procurer of girls for paedophile Jeffey Epstein.
At a time when her billionaire brother Sir Richard is deservedly taking a pounding for trying to rape the state, multi-millionairess Vanessa Branson could have perhaps postponed the launch of her self-indulgent autobiography
It’s not Vanessa Branson’s fault that she’s the sister of the all-round dickhead Sir Richard Branson, but it is she alone whom made the choice to gauchely publicise a book about her anything but modest life during the worst pandemic since Spanish Flu.
Serialised, as only it could be in the top paying publication for such guff, the Daily Mail, Vanessa Branson’s One Hundred Summers: A Family Story has a stench of what the Scottish would call “guff” about it. Aside from bemoaning “sulking about” buying a tidal island complete with 9 houses in the Inner Hebrides – which she terms “Neverland Found” – this privileged woman boldly touts her book as: “Taking the reader on a journey from the dying embers of Edwardian England, through the trauma of two world wars, the hedonism of London in the 1980s and ‘Cool Britannia’ in the 1990s right up to the present day.” How utterly endearing.
Just like her self-publicising brother, this constantly crying 61-year old former art gallery owner plainly cannot get enough of herself. Here is a ramble through holidays in palazzos in Venice and trips to LA; there’s an arts festival in Morocco and there’s a second home in Sussex. Life ain’t that shabby for this woman, but all she does is moan. Her husband comes and goes (and comes and goes again and again), but with such she name-drops how Grayson Perry gave her a pot charmingly featuring the words “Marriage Wrecker” next to “images of fat middle-aged men with drooping breasts and sagging scrotums” and Tracey Emin wrote her a poem for her to use on her headboard. Its read: “Oh God you made me feel so beautiful/ And then I wanted to feel it again and again. With myself, by myself/ Never forgetting.” That’s surely enough to make anyone join in blubbering with this very, very rich multi-millionairess.
With her brattish brother condemned even by that pillar of capitalism that is The Telegraph as “Now Virgin Atlantic’s biggest liability,” Vanessa Branson could not have chosen a worse time to launch her tome. Though lauded as: “A vivid and charming tapestry of English eccentricity, fortune, fate and passion,” One Hundred Summers is more likely to ultimately be remembered just as a tale of the pathetic appendage of the deservedly most loathed man of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. Here is one book we most definitely will not be recommending as essential lockdown literature.
Sir Philip Green’s downfall is now all but complete; strip him of his knighthood says Matthew Steeples
He used to be known as ‘Sir Shifty’ but now that’s become a title too far. With revelations that ‘Phily G’ has been caught – and there’s the most tawdry video footage of it even – “pawing” an overweight wench, it truly is time that those with the power to strip someone of their honour acted.
Having seen his PR advisors quit and the ‘Hot Felon’ appearing to have ditched his “pig-like” daughter, Chloe, in favour of a life on the razzle-dazzle in LA, the ‘Modern Day Robert Maxwell’ seems to be finally reaching his nemesis. Aside from having been branded a “cross between Al Capone and Shylock” in this very publication by Steven Berkoff, Sir Philip must come to accept his final role: All that’s left for this grubby groper and wrecker of pensioners’ lives is a position as the pantomime villain.
Marilyn Monroe’s 1956 Ford Thunderbird to be auctioned
A 1956 Ford Thunderbird gifted as a Christmas present to Marilyn Monroe in 1955 by her business partner, the photographer Milton Greene, is to be auctioned in November.
The raven black roadster bodied automatic – dubbed a “personal luxury car” by Ford – comes with numerous documents and of it, the current owner comments:
“I found the vehicle in lovely show condition. Nevertheless, the car has received a frame-off restoration to its exact original appearance by Prestige Thunderbird, Inc., of Santa Fe Springs, CA. Prestige is the premier west coast firm specializing only in classic 1955, 1956, and 1957 Ford Thunderbirds. In recognition of the car’s important provenance, special heed was given to the retention of original parts, with most driver and passenger touch surfaces left undisturbed.”
“Finding this car, a classic two-seater model, after 56 plus years of its unknown whereabouts, was a singular event. No other car has been located and documented as owned by the incomparable Marilyn Monroe.”
Speaking of the 225 horsepower, V8 engined vehicle, Amy Greene, wife of Milton Greene, remarked:
“Marilyn liked to drive. We’d take the convertible and with the top down, we’d go sailing along the highway. We both liked to feel the wind in our faces and the warmth of the heater on our legs.”
Kept and driven by the icon for six years, Monroe and her playwright husband Arthur Miller drove the Thunderbird to their civil wedding ceremony on 28th June 1956 and likely also to their private wedding on 30th June 1956. The vehicle was subsequently ‘regifted’ t to John Strasberg, the son the director and acting coach Lee Strasberg, as an 18th birthday present in 1962. It comes with a black canvas convertible top, a porthole windowed hardtop and has 30,399 miles on the odometer following an engine rebuild.
Darren Julien, president of Julien’s – the firm conducting the sale – added:
“Once in a while something comes along that has a powerful magic about it, a charisma, because of everything and everyone associated with it. This wonderful Ford Thunderbird is not only part of automotive history but comes with an aura of glamour, romance and tragedy of a true Hollywood legend. It will make the centrepiece of any classic car collection and be an object of fascination to millions.”
Julien’s Auctions will offer the car at their ‘Icons and Idols: Hollywood’ on 17th November in Los Angeles, California. They have set an estimate of £230,000 to £384,000 ($300,000 to $500,000, €262,000 to €436,000 or درهم1.1 million to درهم1.8 million).
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Vivien Leigh’s necklace and Clark Gable’s cigarette case from ‘Gone with the Wind’ to be sold at auction in Los Angeles
Gone with the Wind is undoubtedly one of the all-time classic films. It took in excess of $390 million at the box office, won an astonishing eight Academy Awards in 1940 and propelled the careers of both Clark Gable (Rhett Butler) and Vivien Leigh (Scarlett O’Hara) into the stratosphere.
Now, in November in California, a diamond and amethyst necklace worn by Leigh in the film will be sold at auction with an estimate of £45,000 to £61,000 ($60,000 to $80,000, €50,000 to €66,000 or درهم220,000 to درهم294,000) alongside a cigarette case used by Gable (estimate: £30,000 to £45,000, $40,000 to $60,000, €33,000 to €50,000 or درهم147,000 to درهم220,000).
Eugene Joseff pictured in the crown and sceptre worn by Ronald Colman in “The Prisoner of Zenda” (1937) and Vivien Leigh in Joseff with Clark Gable in “Gone with the Wind” (1939)
This pair of Gone with the Wind memorabilia, which will be sold by Julien’s Auctions, forms part of a 500-piece collection from the vault of Eugene Joseff (1905 – 1948), an advertising executive turned jeweller to Hollywood’s superstars. Joseff’s primary success stemmed from the fact he developed a matte metal finish for his jewellery that minimised the glare from the strong studio lights and thus everyone from Marlene Dietrich to Greta Garbo and Marilyn Monroe wore his pieces. Though this talented designer tragically died in a plane crash, his family continue to operate the firm Joseff of Hollywood and aside from making jewellery now also produce aerospace castings for radar, guided missiles, computers, and electro-mechanical systems.
Of the collection, Martin Nolan of Julien’s Auctions commented:
“The Joseff Collection that has been consigned to Julien’s Auctions is the single most important collection of film-worn jewellery ever to come to the market. This historic cache, stored in a Hollywood warehouse for decades is the very stuff of Hollywood history and legend. This is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity to own a piece of film history that was designed and manufactured to dazzle, as each piece had to compete with the wearer, the most beautiful women in the world.”
Julien’s Auctions will sell the collection on 17th and 18th November at their Los Angeles Gallery.
The Vivien Leigh necklace by Eugene JoseffThe Clark Gable cigarette case by Eugene Joseff
At a slightly different point but nevertheless cut, here are three jewelry items to consider if you’re looking for gift ideas… Here are 3 we found that are cute and affordable: 1) Gorgeous ring for Mum? – this ring for Mum will make her eyes light up on Mother’s Day, or just about any other day for that matter. A casual, versatile ring that can be worn with just about anything, day or night, it’s a perfect complement to any outfit or occasion. 2) Need a pretty gift for a dog lover? – This cute puppy paw necklace is a pet-friendly addition for any puppy lover, young or old. Whether it’s a birthday gift or just a gift to say thank you, the recipient will be over the moon! 3) Cute leaf earrings for a nature lover perhaps? – these cute earrings can be worn day or night with just about any outfit. A nice addition to jazz up your day and look and feel great.
John Stoddart and Claire Rubinstein at the Sofitel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills yesterday
A whole array of guests are expected at the event and amongst them will be a bevvy of Brits including Lady Victoria Hervey and occasional contributor to The Steeple Times, Claire Rubinstein. Liverpool born Stoddart, no doubt dressed to the nines and surrounded by American beauties, will showcase the finest of his images of Hollywood greats and amongst those on display will be Daniel Craig, Anthony Hopkins, Martin Scorsese, Tilda Swinton and Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The exhibition will remain on display at the hotel for several months and part of the proceeds from all works sold will be donated to the Caterina’s Club charity.
Outrageously over-the-top Beverly Hills pad complete with gold accessories galore goes on sale for £80 million; buyers will get a gold Lamborghini, a gold Rolls-Royce and 170 gold coloured bottles of Cristal
Sold last for £7.7 million ($9.8 million, €9.3 million or درهم36 million) in 2012 when it was a 5,926 square foot house, 1175 Hillcrest Road on the Trousdale Estates in Beverly Hills, California has been completely redeveloped and renamed ‘Opus’. It now provides 20,500 square foot of accommodation on a 1 acre plot and has gone on for sale for the astonishing sum of £80 million ($100 million, €95 million or درهم367 million).
Now featuring 7 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms, it is the ‘extras’ that come with the property that make it newsworthy. Amongst the ‘toys’ thrown in are a gold Lamborghini Aventador and a gold Rolls-Royce Dawn, £1.6 million ($2 million, €1.9 million or درهم7.3 million) of artwork (including three Damien Hirst paintings), 170 bottles of Cirstal champagne and a full-time house manager, whose salary has been pre-paid for two years.
The creation of a developer named Nile Niami, the house also has “electric toilets that do everything for you” – Just what every billionaire truly needs.
Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Begging a feast
In Gloucester Road, a beggar was overheard talking to an American old lady. He said: “I’m trying to get myself a feast”. She curtly answered: “Who do you think you are? Elizabeth I? Go to the park and kill a swan and you’ll be all set”.
A girl on the side
At La Brasserie’s bar, another elderly American settled down. This blazer and baseball cap wearing man announced to the bartender: “I’m from LA. I have to land”. The perplexed server looked bemused so, the stateside visitor carried on: “Make it a Johnny Walker Black Label. Ice, lemon and a girl on the side”.
Connecting Meyer
In a restaurant, former ambassador and all-round know-all Sir Christopher Meyer sat pontificating with his sons. He was overheard to loudly remark: “I’m very well connected, I’ll have you know”. Another guest, sat nearby, chirped up and told her companions: “Yes, of course he is. Appointed by the war criminal Tony Blair. That’s a connection and a half. One to be really proud of”.
Knightsbridge vs. Chigwell
In another restaurant in Knightsbridge, a set of louche men, throwbacks to the 1980s in fact, sat chatting about their glory days. One rudely pointed to a man minding his own business and shouted: “You’re not a Knightsbridge kind of guy. We’ve had Brexit. We’re reclaiming our land”. His target responded: “I hear you’re from Chigwell. You’re welcome to that land”.
Submit comments you hear to[email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
My intuition.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
‘Forgive but don’t forget’.
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2016?
Donald Trump and Crocs.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
My sanity.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
World peace or never ageing.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?
Invest. Banks are a joke.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
‘I need’ – Even though I use it every day and a lot.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
Anything to do with children. Their innocence and honesty inspires me.
The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
My answer here is biased since I’m addicted to my phone. I think it’s actually glued to me.
Eric Meier
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
Oprah, Mariah Carey and Karl Lagerfeld.
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
The cheesecake at Hôtel Costes in Paris or an In and Out burger.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
In Europe, everything goes; in America, happy hour is at 4pm.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
A martini. Filthy.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
Those given by Riccardo Tisci – Beautiful people and beautiful clothes.
Who is the most positive person you know?
Myself – I’m never a pessimist.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
My boyfriend.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
I have one of a broken heart as I’m a hopeless romantic.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
A Rolls-Royce Ghost extended version.
Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
I’m human.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
Candles. Great lighting is key.
Eric Meier is based in Beverly Hills, California and describes himself as a well-travelled jetsetter. He adds: “Biographies are for dead people”.
Join his 28,000 followers on Instagram at @meiereric.
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