20 questions with writer, television personality and co-founder of Body Gossip Natasha Devon
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom”. What’s your guiding force?
I’m driven by a desire to make everything fair (and to silence the people who would have us believe that injustice can be explained by that irritating platitude – “life’s not fair”).
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
I nicked one from Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken”.
Rolls-Royce shooting brake commissioned by John Entwistle of The Who goes to auction
In the manner typical of a rock star, The Who’s John Entwistle never learnt to drive. Instead, the legendary bass player bought cars because he liked to “drink in them”. One – specially adapted to suit an Irish Wolfhound named Fits Perfectly and several Rottweilers – is due at auction on 7th September. (more…)
Company director Adrian Burford accused of stealing £12.5 million from his own company
Adrian Burford was a man who liked the good life. He lived in a £9.3 million mansion in the Cotswolds, spent £1.1 million buying shares in the Sushinho restaurant on London’s Kings Road and £26,000 on wines. It now transpires that all of this was paid for with someone else’s money.
The New Inn at Roborough in North Devon isn’t the easiest place to find. It’s hidden away in a rural backwater, so be sure not to rely on your Sat-Nav to get you to this traditional Devonshire pub. If you do, you’ll be taken on a wild goose chase up hill and down dale but when you eventually arrive you’ll find a warm welcome and a menu that’s a little out of the ordinary.
She’s best known for the catchphrase: “You are the Weakest Link, goodbye!” but this television great has accomplished much else. The “Queen of Mean” is renowned for her knack of coming up with great newspaper headlines and has also accumulated a fortune of some £40 million. Robinson is vehemently pro fox hunting and lives in Kensington but don’t get her started on what she thinks about the Welsh.
Yesterday, I found myself listening to a self-proclaimed “writer, broadcaster and entertainer” named Pam Ayres on BBC Radio 4.
Pam Ayres
An example of her style numbers:
“I am sittin’ on the sofa. By the fire and stayin’ in. Me head is free of comfort. And me nose is free of skin. Me friends have run for cover, They have left me pale and sick. With me pockets full of tissues. And me nostrils full of Vick.”
I recall having first encountered the supposed “humour “of Ms Ayres, whom the Daily Telegraph once described as “the doyenne of doggerel,” at a dinner hosted by The Lady Taverners at The Savoy some years ago. As Ayres droned on, an American lady at my table tapped me on the shoulder and said: “What the hell is this strange woman on about?” Having never heard of this “poet,” I shrugged and simply responded: “I haven’t got a clue.” When, in desperation, it was suggested we vacate to the bar, I embraced the idea with gusto. Sat there with an extremely strong martini, I felt well again.
That, I assumed, would be the last my poor ears heard from Ayres but sadly it was not to be. Radio 4, which I listen to throughout the day, have chosen to give her airtime and yesterday, when she came on, the first comment from my friend Charles was: “Oh God, not her, she terrified me even when I was a kid.” The unwelcome ghostly voice of an evening past had returned to my life.
Having had my fill, I thought I’d share my thoughts with my Twitter followers and posted the following:
“I have to say @PamAyres is quite possibly the most tedious person on @BBCRadio4. Her attempt at “humour” is cringeworthy and annoying.”
Within minutes, I’d been bombarded with hatemail from furious fans of Ayres. Most curiously amongst them were missives from the former game show panelist Annabel Giles (@Annabel_Giles) and “Britain’s premiere [sic] Nazi hunter” Alan Stoob (@nazihunteralan). Plainly Ayres is “much loved” in all manner of circles.
Later, a poem came from the woman herself. It reads as follows:
This geezer Matthew Steeples (May he rot in K & C)
Has posted on his twitterfeed a photograph of me
And with my blameless heifers he has held us up to shame,
I may heal in time. The cows will NEVER be the same.
“Blummin’ ‘ell:” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Never could I have imagined that I’d find myself immortalised in a poem by Pam Ayres.
Learn more about Pam Ayres at: http://www.pamayres.com or follow her on Twitter:http://www.twitter.com/ayrespamShe might even pen a verse in your honour if you’re, erm, lucky.
This supposed “First Lady of Comedy” spouts lines like: “He had a bull name Floyd, but he was unemployed.” How long did it take her to come up with that? Her appearances on Radio 4 and elsewhere are peppered with references to “blummin’ people” and how she’s “stuck all [she] can stick.” Could someone please put her out to pasture before all our eardrums burst?
Best known for her chilling novel The Woman in White, this writer also did a stint on the BBC’s The Archers and runs a small publishing house named Long Barn Books. Married to the Shakespeare scholar Professor Stanley Wells, Hill lives in a farmhouse with 50 acres of woodland in the Cotswolds and describes ghosts as having been: “Good to me.”
He was labeled “Baron Von Essen” but evidence of his pedigree failed to surface. Starting in 1990, this buccaneer built up a collection of 26 luxury hotels but the £300m empire, developed with loans from bankers who plainly asked very few questions, collapsed in 2011. Since then, instead of quietly going to ground, he’s bought a Rolls-Royce from his friend Michael Winner and appeared at quite a few parties. Watch out: “The Talented Mr Davis” is plainly plotting his next move.
