Matthew Steeples reports on the latest initiative from The Rib Room
Last week my friends and I enjoyed an evening of live music at The Rib Room at Knightsbridge’s Jumeirah Carlton Tower.
Jazz singer Emma TopolskiThe Rib Room team are famed for their legendary cocktail making skills
Each Wednesday, Thursday and Friday from 9.30pm various artists perform in the buzzy bar of this fine establishment and amongst them is the jazz singer Emma Topolski.
Topolski is the daughter of the actress Susan Gilmore and her rowing commentator husband Daniel Topolski. A collection of the works of her grandfather, Feliks Topolski RA (1907 – 1989), a Polish born British expressionist painter best known for a 600ft mural depicting events and people of the 20th century, hangs in The Rib Room.
The Rib Room is well known for their excellent burgers and we began the evening with one of these and concluded with some of their excellent gin cocktails. Here, indeed, is an ideal way to lift your spirits in the company of friends on a rainy winter’s day.
The Rib Room, Jumeirah Carlton Tower, On Cadogan Place, London, SW1X 9PY. Telephone: +44 (0) 20 7858 7250. Website:http://www.theribroom.co.uk
The Steeple Times asks photographer J.Harry Edmiston: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?
The idea that the photographs I take may still be admired long after I’m gone.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“If you’re given lemons, make lemonade.”
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?
Instagram.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
Sunsets in Georgian Bay, Canada.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
Taking an iconic photograph that touches people around the world.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?
While the crisis has had many bad consequences, the one bright spot has been the many people of my generation turning to creativity and entrepreneurialism in order to earn a living. The world will see the benefit.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“Not possible.”
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
I am lucky to have many friends actively involved in charitable work and I look to support them when I can across a wide variety of causes.
The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
Clearly using a phone that will blow you up does not seem to be a good idea. In general, so many people to do not see the world around them because they spend so much time staring at their iPhones. Keep it to a minimum and look up occasionally.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
The characters from Wes Anderson’s film The Life Aquatic.
J.Harry Edmiston
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
The leaves of the female Encephalartos woodii plant. No examples have ever been found in nature and therefore their search should give me plenty of time to plan my escape. Fresh grilled lobster and a cold beer on the beach on an unnamed Caribbean island would be my reward.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
After breakfast.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
A Moscow mule at Montgomery Place. They make the best cocktails in London.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
I always look forward to my friends Istvan and Theo’s periodic parties at Daquise, a polish restaurant in South Kensington. Good vodka, good food, good music and good friends are never a bad combination.
Who is the most positive person you know?
Marta de la Mata, a DJ and club owner in Brazil and Ibiza. She has limitless energy and is amazingly fun to be around.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
My mother’s extraordinary Christmas cake. The cognac content seems to be increasing every year.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
Something by M. C. Escher.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
A DeLorean with “Flux Capacitor.”
Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
If I had not pursued photography, I would probably be making guns with my father.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
Some lenses, some invitations and some gold, frankincense and myrrh.
J.Harry Edmiston is a London based photographer who has also worked in film, television and commercial production. A solo exhibition of his works will be held at the Alpha Gallery at 23 Cork Street, London, W1S 3NJ from 10th to 14th December 2012.
This mouthpiece was born in Rettendon, Essex in 1958 and vents bile on all manner of subjects. Articles such as: “Why don’t more women moan like me?” and “Liz Jones’ baby craving drove her to steal husband’s sperm in ultimate deception” are frankly illustrative of why she’s so unpopular. After she got banned from the majority of fashion shows and her husband left her, she quit London for Somerset in 2007 to feed organic muesli to the rats in the barns of a 47-acre farm she purchased as her “rural idyll.” That misadventure came to a sticky end in November 2012 after she’d alienated the whole county by calling them, amongst other things, “smelly” and “faintly Amish.” Goodness knows whom she’ll choose to offend next. Phillip Schofield sums her up best: “She is inconsistent, bitter, nasty and unhinged.” Our advice: Just steer well clear of this acid tongued poison pen.
The Steeple Times asks molecular cuisine guru and managing director of Bubble Food Michael Collins: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?
Passion and creativity.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“Never put all your eggs in one basket.”
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?
Bad hair.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
My mum’s home cooking.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
More money.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?
The bubble had to burst at some point. I’m lucky as sticking to my motto meant that it didn’t affect me too much.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
There is not really a phrase or word I loathe but I hate it when people give excuses.
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
I support various good causes, both personally and through my company. I get very fed up with the street fundraisers with their clipboards who try to stop you every three paces to sign up to their charity.
The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
I’m terrible. I couldn’t live without my phone.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
My lovely Bubble team. We would have lots of fun and do some teambuilding at the same time.
Bubble Food’s Michael Collins
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
I would go to The Ivy and have their amazing chicken korma.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
11am: “gin and it” for elevenses.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
A martini. We do a great “Pink Peppercorn Martini” at Bubble and for Christmas our head mixologist has created a “Snowing Black Forest Martini” complete with white chocolate snow. It’s delicious.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
My own because they’re full of all my favourite people and Bubble does the food and drinks. As a result, the guests seem to always be happy.
Who is the most positive person you know?
Betty White of Golden Girls fame. I love her.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
Bubble’s head chef makes the most divine dessert. It’s a chocolate bubble containing salt toffee mousse, pomegranate and popping candy. Hot yoghurt sauce is poured over the bubble and it kind of implodes. Amazing. I’ve been told it’s very low in calories though.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
An eagle: It’d be serene and soaring high with prey in its talons.
If you were a car, what marque would you be?
A Lamborghini.
Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
Although I’ve been in the events and hospitality sector for over 15 years, I originally studied construction and trained as a chartered surveyor.
What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?
A nude picture of myself from when I first came to live in London.
Michael Collins is the managing director of Bubble Food, one of London’s leading food design and events companies. The company specialises in molecular cuisine and their clients number Helena Bonham-Carter, Bella Freud and Jemima Khan.
For more information about Bubble Food telephone +44 (0) 20 7703 2653 or go to:http://www.bubblefood.com
Matthew Steeples examines the truth behind Liz Jones giving up on her “rural idyll”
The Mail’s Liz Jones is a waspish woman who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Those who’ve paid even a moment’s attention to her bleating, will be familiar with lines such as: “Last week, my brand new £1,300 MacBook Pro broke” and “Phil Spencer wanted his £46,000 and he wanted it now!” She never stops talking about money and the size of what she both owns and owes.
Liz Jones
In today’s Femail, Jones bores on about about how she feels “like a cross-dresser” trying out the Kardashian Kollection of clothing in a pointed attack on Kim Kardashian, but it was for her diatribe yesterday that she truly got the goat of the nation in “[bidding] a ferocious farewell” to life in the country in an article entitled “Goodbye… and good riddance!” 2,151 people have commented so far and most of them have been far from sympathetic.
When Upcott Farm at Brushford, near Dulverton in Somerset came up for sale in 2007 at a price of £1.6 million, it featured in an article by The Telegraph’s Caroline McGhie. The 5-bedroomed farmhouse came with a 2-bedroom annexe, a courtyard of barns and stables and 47 acres of land. McGhie waxed lyrical about the merits of moving to this location: “People come here for the peace and quiet, the night skies, the dramatic coastline, and they work from home,” she stated before adding: “You can find everything here, including butchers, bakers, afternoon tea and cake, fish and chips, an art gallery and a shop selling fishing tackle.” Of Upcott Farm itself, she concluded:
“This would suit a member of the new wave of buyers dubbed Droppies (Disillusioned Relatively Ordinary Professionals Preferring Independent Employment Situations).”
McGhie got it half right: Upcott Farm sold to someone who considers herself far from “relatively ordinary” and someone who is far from “professional.” The purchaser, however, was certainly someone who’d become “disillusioned” with what she’d bought and someone whose desire to be “independent” and create a “situation” just alienated all she encountered. The buyer, you’ve guessed it, was none other than Elizabeth Ann Jones.
Jones was born in Brentwood, Essex in 1958 and studied journalism at the London College of Printing. She became editor of Marie Claire in 1999 but was sacked, she herself suggests, for “listing in the magazine the freebies she had been offered in the previous month.” Here, it seems, began Jones’s obsession with all things material and here she also met an Indian BBC radio journalist named Nirpal Dhaliwal in 2000.
Jones married Dhaliwal but the union was to prove an “utter disaster” as he had affairs with women she terms “younger, dimmer [and] slimmer.” “I’m no racist” Jones was divorced in 2007 and said goodbye to her “3,000 square foot of Islington real estate” and “easy, if super-busy, London life” in favour of the green, green grass of Somerset.
Whoever’s side you see it from, five years of hell followed. Jones baited the locals and they grew to loathe her. She wrote columns and a book, The Exmoor Files, where she attacked them as “faintly Amish… feral, old and smelly” and another hack and neighbour, Jane Alexander of The Telegraph, responded: “Dulverton [was] positively fizzing with fury” after each and every publication.
Of the local restaurants, Jones stated:
“I have given up trying to eat out in restaurants here on Exmoor… It is still stuck in the Seventies, with only things in baskets and rum babas on the menu… If you tell the waiter you are vegetarian, you are stared at, incredulously, as if you are black.”
She whinged about her inability to find love:
”I will never, ever meet a man here in the middle of a moor, where even to be in possession of your own teeth is a bonus.”
And whined about fieldsports:
“I didn’t increase my popularity by being unable to pass a party of men and often children with guns, shooting rabbits and deer, without getting out of my BMW and saying: ‘Do you really have nothing better to do with your Saturday morning?’ The look of shock on their faces that I had the cheek to challenge them was priceless. I would stop, too, and shout at huntsmen on horses, galloping on tarmaced roads, one hand on the reins, the other clamping a mobile phone to their heads. ‘You will ruin your horses’ tendons!’ I would wail.”
Whilst Jones found little to like in her new community, they found nothing positive in her arrival either. Her dog was blamed for worrying lambs, and Jones’s inability to control it, locals say, was an indicator of the chasm between her life and theirs. In 2009, one neighbour went as far as to tell Danny Brierley of The Independent:
“We have got nothing in common with her, really. I think she may find it difficult to make any kind of life here now. She is not a very friendly person and we are all sick to death of talking about Liz Jones. A hatred has been building up for months. She is actually having a go at people and they are not going to tolerate that. She has feelings like all people, of course she has. But everyone wants her to leave and leave now. No one can make her, but we think she will go. I don’t see how you can live in such a small community with people who think that way about you.”
Matters came to a head when Jones’s precious black BMW convertible, “bought in 2005 for £26,000,” was pelted with eggs and teenagers fired shots at her letterbox with an air rifle. A local councilor even dressed up as her in the local carnival and yesterday Jones took revenge on those she blames for her “five-year prison sentence” and deprivation from Space NK, Cath Kidston and Illy coffee.
Instead, the article just shows the true reality of this bombastic harpy. The lines Jones penned speak for themselves. Country people don’t welcome someone who planned to “hack for miles across the open moorland in my Prada jodhpurs” anymore than the folk of Knightsbridge welcome Arabs treating their roads like racetracks. The gardener who had to endure Jones yelling “walk faster!” at him didn’t deserve such anymore than a bus driver in SW11 deserves abuse from his passengers. Jones concludes:
“I’m now a different person. I became so lonely. I would often get in my car, not just for the warmth, but for the kind voice of the satnav lady. I’ve learned that an amazing view and a pair of nesting grey herons are not enough to make me happy.”
27 acres of land including paddocks and a fishing lake remain on the market through Savills and Strutt & Parker at a price of £200,000 at Upcott Farm
Miss Jones bleats that she’s taken a £500,000 loss on Upcott Farm, which languished on the market at first at £1,900,000 and then £1,750,000 for three years. The “unexpected” sale of the property has given her the ability to “flee back to the city” but the locals and even the “Droopies” should be warned: there’s still 27 acres of the farm unsold and on the market at a price of £200,000. Halloween may have passed but the battleaxe in the Beemer could still call again.
The latest James Bond film Skyfall is the talk of the town and it’s received many a rave review. The fictional James Bond allegedly lived in Royal Avenue, off the Kings Road in SW3, but if he were looking for a house today, we think 9 Hillgate Street would be the perfect pad.
The entrance and garage at 9 Hillgate Street, London, W8 7SP. Sadly the Aston Martin isn’t included in the £7,950,000 asking price.Daniel Craig in a promotional shot for “Skyfall”The unasuming exterior of 9 Hillgate Street gives little away about what lies behind it
Utterly unassuming from the street, what lies behind the exterior of this four-storey building is deceptively a new build house constructed in 2010. Designed by Seth Stein Architects, the property is only 18ft wide but an amazing 85ft in length.
An internal lightwell and four terraces are amongst the features of the houseA reception room in the houseA bright walkway allows light to flood into the buildingThe master bedroom suite includes a bedroom, study, dressing area and bathroomSeth Stein Architects have developed a vast residence out of the tiniest of spaces
Bond would greatly appreciate the lower ground media room and gym with plunge pool and with a staff suite, there’s room to house someone to mix his martinis. A vast 29ft by 16ft living room is open plan to the kitchen and perfect for entertaining but it is most certainly the master bedroom suite that would make the perfect spot for his extra curricular activities. Four terraces arranged around a courtyard provide ample outdoor space and with all manner of techonological gadgets, 9 Hillgate Street most certainly would make an ideal bachelor pad.
What truly would suit Bond perfectly, though, in this 4,286 square foot £7,950,000 house is the garage. Cleverly disguised and decorated as a normal room, there’s even an Aston sat waiting parked there. Daniel Craig should put in a bid.
Christian Huhnt reports on recent changes at Cassis restaurant
As I work in the arts and also collect wines, I find Cassis Bistro in South Kensington most comfortable as here I find myself surrounded by great works by Julian Opie, Gary Hume and Henri Matisse alongside as a humongous and well-stocked wine rack at the back of the restaurant. Cassis is part of Marlon Abela’s restaurant group, Marc, which also includes The Greenhouse, Umu, Morello Bistro and Morton’s.
Cassis Bistro’s decor cleverly combines wine and artParty guests at Cassis Bistro, 232 – 236 Brompton Road, London, SW3 2BB
It was with anticipation, therefore, that I accepted an invitation to celebrate the arrival of Cassis’s new head chef, “le nouveau moteur de cuisine,”Massimiliano Blasone. Wait a minute: “Blasone”? That doesn’t sound to French to me. And indeed, he isn’t. This Italian chef made his name at Heinz Beck’s Michelin-starred Apsleys at The Lanesborough Hotel on Hyde Park Corner.
The first thing that I asked myself was: “What is an Italian chef doing in a French kitchen?” More importantly: “What is an Italian chef doing in a restaurant that has made its goal,” according to their own marketing material, “to deliver: The finest Provençal cuisine in London?”
A leaflet promoting the “Provençal” cuisine on offer at Cassis
After consulting the restaurant’s PR she told me the new idea is to “cook Provençal cuisine with an Italian influence.” What the heck? Why not add a Nigerian limbo dancer making sushi or a Muslim serving pork pies?
Continuing, she told me that the former chef had left as he’d decided to open his own restaurant. I recall once having a delightful lunch when that particular chef was still at Cassis, roughly one year ago, and remember how tasteful and typically Provençal it actually was.
Starting, as ever, with the drinks, I let the waiter choose my first one. He gave me a “Cassis Collins” which is supposedly the house cocktail. A mix of gin, crème de cassis soda, blackcurrant purée and lemon juice. Sadly, I could only really taste the lemon and overall it was too watery. It tasted as if it had been mixed 30-minutes prior to my arrival.
Jessica Patterson and Steffen Timm at Cassis
I quickly changed to an Italian classic, a Negroni, which was strong but cool. This was far more impressive. Steffen Timm, my companion and food connoisseur, went for a non-alcoholic cocktail with the notion to spare his palate for tasting the food later on, but while sipping at it he almost got a sugar shock and therefore turned to the booze too.
While sat at the bar, I found myself surrounded by some delightful locals and regulars. Things were most definitely on the up. After nibbling one grissini after another, finally the food arrived, but it came at such a speed that I struggled to keep up. Not even finished with a typically Italian dish of tagliatelle con tartufo bianco, the kind waiter offered me some superb raw tuna served in a Middle East Asian style with bulgur. Having barely swallowed this, the next dishes presented to me were a pumpkin tortellini with truffles, followed by oysters with sourcream and cucumber. Quail’s eggs with truffles, a lamb saddle with ratatouille (which was probably the only ‘kind-of-Provençal’ canapé) and finally some perfectly made risotto with yet more truffles brought things to a crescendo. My love affair with truffles is well known and some readers may recall my sharing that with you in my review of Honky Tonk. I must say, however, that this particular dish was more reminiscent of something that one might find in a chic restaurant in St Tropez than in the Provençal settings I am used to.
Provençal-style lamb saddle with ratatouille
Although Cassis is delightful and I enjoyed an evening of conversation and company, sadly, this new kitchen seems to have lost its ethos and now lacks the authentic Provençal character that made it so good. I urge the management to return to the quintessentially rustic and traditional roots that first made the place so appealing.
The Steeple Times asks John King, the sales manager for No. 11 Cadogan Gardens: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”
The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?
My parents.
“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?
“Don’t get mad, charge more.”
Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?
Victoria Beckham. The woman is despicable and the unhappiest celebrity there is.
Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?
My business: a lettings agency in Brixton.
What might you swap all your wealth for?
An island, a super yacht and a supermodel.
Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?
Coca Cola was once funded by the bank. We all need banks.
What phrase or word do you most loathe?
“In’it.”
In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?
When I have enough to give, I won’t discriminate.
The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?
Anywhere except the dinner table.
If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?
My parents, Nelson Mandela, Bill Clinton, Muhammad Ali and Sir Alex Ferguson.
No. 11 Cadogan Gardens sales manager, John King
If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?
Mince and tatties in my mum’s living room.
What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?
Any time after 12, I’m not declaring which 12 I mean.
A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?
None of the above. I like a champagne cocktail at the bar at No. 11 Cadogan Gardens.
Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?
My own because my closest friends are with me.
Who is the most positive person you know?
My five year old nephew, Charlie.
What’s your most guilty pleasure?
Glenmorangie 18 years old.
If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?
A motto which says: “What’s for you, will not go past you.”
If you were a car, what marquee would you be?
A Porsche 911 Carrera in red.
Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.
I’d say that it is that I have managed to live in London for 9 years.
At 12 noon I often receive a message from my good friend the photographer to the stars, John Stoddart. As a fellow gin aficionado, we regularly raise a toast to one another as well as all manner of others things. After all, as they say: “If you can’t have one eleven, have eleven at one.”
Hogarth’s famous print “Gin Lane”
Saturday 9th June marks a celebration of all things gin as it is World Gin Day™ and I am pleased to share with you news of a brilliant way of celebrating what could become the only invented celebratory day that I will agree to embrace with gusto. The Rib Room at the Jumeirah Carlton Tower is offering a Sloane Street Vesper to all who take their mum to their bar and quote the words “Mother’s Ruin” absolutely free of charge.
The drink itself consists of a combination of Sipsmith Gin, Pinky Vodka, Americano Cocchi and Lillet Blanc served straight up. The Rib Room themselves describe it as being: “Cheek, chic, pose and poise.”
I’ll certainly be there to celebrate “Gin O’Clock.” Make mine a treble.
