Tag: Woods

  • “Grockles” and “Emmets”

    “Grockles” and “Emmets”

    Matthew Steeples discovers Michael Winner’s links to descriptions of unwelcome “out of towners”

     

    My last linguistic rambling explored two words, “plebs” and “ladettes,” that, like Andrew Mitchell MP, truly need to be eliminated from our culture. The next two in this series, “grockles” and “emmets,” have far more amusing origins and truly sum up the eccentricities of those living in the South of England.

     

    I was led to believe that the word “grockle” was an ancient description of “those not from round here,” but having done a little research I now discover that it actually emanates from the 20th century The Dandy’s comic strip, “Danny and the Grockle.”

     

    “Grockles” and caravans commonly go together
    “The Girl-Getters” (AKA “The System”) starred Oliver Reed, Jane Merrow, Barbara Ferris, Harry Andrews and Julia Foster and was directed by Michael Winner

    The Dandy’s “grockle” was nothing other than a dragon like creature. There wasn’t anything more to the beast and it wasn’t until 1964 that the term became popularised when it was used in a film set in the Devon resort of Torquay. In The System (renamed The Girl-Getters for the US market), starring Oliver Reed and directed by Michael Winner, one of the characters states:

     

    “Bloody grockles and their caravans, always jamming up the Devon lanes!”

     

    Henceforth, the word became forevermore linked to tourists and thus we can hold Michael Winner responsible for bringing it to the world’s attention. Winner, who describes, himself as: “A totally insane film director, writer, producer, silk shirt cleaner, bad tempered, totally ridiculous example of humanity in deep shit” really should proudly add a reference to this to his Twitter handle.

     

    Other definitions of the “grockle” are more specific and an especially amusing one separates these interlopers very clearly:

     

    “It’s used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists; those with caravans; those with five kids, a dog, a grandad tagging along and those that have been coming to town for twenty years and think they know and own the place.”

     

    The same commentator on this term continues:

     

    “Someone holidaying in Christchurch who’s from Southampton isn’t a grockle… Foreign tourists aren’t [grockles] either as these generally tend to be considerate people when traveling and don’t make a nuisance of themselves… However, when I went to Puerto Banus near Marbella, I’d heard it was very exclusive but it was full of grockles still.”

     

    The word is now so recognised that it was used in an a 2010 article in The Sunday Times about the sale of Lord Cowdray’s £25 million home in West Sussex:

     

    “Bar a few open-garden events, the Cowdrays have never allowed visitor access to the property, so the eventual buyer won’t have to endure grockles coming up the drive.”

     

    Whilst we have discovered that a “grockle” is a pretty general term, in Cornwall they have a more specific variation. The Cornish use the pejorative nickname “emmet” for tourists.

     

    Derived from the Cornish language word for “ant,” the “emmet” is an analogy for the way in which both tourists and ants are often red in colour and appear to mill around. “Emmets,” it seems, are nuisances who get in the way and whom the locals would rather weren’t there.

     

    Michael Winner wearing a T-shirt complete with his trademark phrase: “Calm down dear”… In this case he states: “It’s only a recession” but we do think he ought to also get one stating: “Calm down dear, they’re only grockles, they’re not from round ‘ere”

    Be they a “grockle” or an “emmet,” tourists may well generate millions in revenue for the people of the South West but still, as many a local will say: “They’re not welcome round ‘ere.” I’m sure many a restaurateur feels similarly when Mr Michael Winner lands on his doorstep.

     

    Grockles away.

     

    View Michael Winner’s official website at: http://www.michael-winner.com/

     

    Follow Michael Winner on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/mrmichaelwinner

  • Leonid Rozhetskin

    Leonid Rozhetskin

    He co-founded City AM and was executive producer of the 2009 film Boogie Woogie. This Russian financier and lawyer led a closeted life and disappeared in March 2008. Elements of the Russian press suggest he’s living in California under the Federal Witness Protection Program but others argue that he was the victim of foul play at the hands of the KGB. A credit card belonging to Rozhetskin, whose favoured haunts numbered The Wolseley and Nobu, was found next to a body found in woods in Latvia in August 2012.

  • Europeans have strong chance at US PGA

    Europeans have strong chance at US PGA

    The Tout’s predictions for the US PGA Championship

     

    One of the world’s most beautiful golf courses hosts one of the top four competitions of the year this weekend at Kiawah Island in South Carolina on The Eastern Seaboard. Notorious for it’s tendency to swirling winds, which assimilates to some of our links courses, and there is also plenty of sand and long grass to punish any wild driving.

     

    Kiawah Island Golf Resort

    It was interesting at our Open Championship that Tiger chose not to pull out his driver and instead relied on his long irons. Despite this he was always in the van and it is more likely at Kiawah, a course he knows well, that he will reach for the big hammer that lies hidden under that famous Tiger glove. It was a good job the wife only got hold of the 9 iron when they had the domestic a couple of years ago and there is sure to be a loud cheer when his caddy reaches for that!

     

    We were lucky with our selections at The Open with one of the biggest chokes of all time since Greg Norman and Ernie landed our spoils at 40/1 but caution really is a byword in golf as only a very slim margin separates these top players.

     

    The Tout’s selections are:

    Tiger Woods 5/1, Luke Donald 11/2, Graham McDowell 20/1, Ian Poulter 22/1, Hunter Mahan 25/1, Paul Lawrie 50/1

     

    All of these players are in form and our main selections in this order are Woods, McDowell, Poulter, Mahan with Lawrie as your small bet each way at a big price.

     

    Kiawah can be a giant killer but we are fairly confident that the Europeans have a good shout. Go easy out there and always remember that someone loves you and it’s normally that horrible bookie when you lose!

     

    The Tout.