Tag: London

  • J.Harry Edmiston: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    J.Harry Edmiston: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks photographer J.Harry Edmiston: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

    The idea that the photographs I take may still be admired long after I’m gone.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    “If you’re given lemons, make lemonade.”

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?

    Instagram.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    Sunsets in Georgian Bay, Canada.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    Taking an iconic photograph that touches people around the world.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    While the crisis has had many bad consequences, the one bright spot has been the many people of my generation turning to creativity and entrepreneurialism in order to earn a living. The world will see the benefit.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    “Not possible.”

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I am lucky to have many friends actively involved in charitable work and I look to support them when I can across a wide variety of causes.

     

    The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    Clearly using a phone that will blow you up does not seem to be a good idea. In general, so many people to do not see the world around them because they spend so much time staring at their iPhones. Keep it to a minimum and look up occasionally.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    The characters from Wes Anderson’s film The Life Aquatic.

     

    J.Harry Edmiston

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    The leaves of the female Encephalartos woodii plant. No examples have ever been found in nature and therefore their search should give me plenty of time to plan my escape. Fresh grilled lobster and a cold beer on the beach on an unnamed Caribbean island would be my reward.

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    After breakfast.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A Moscow mule at Montgomery Place. They make the best cocktails in London.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    I always look forward to my friends Istvan and Theo’s periodic parties at Daquise, a polish restaurant in South Kensington. Good vodka, good food, good music and good friends are never a bad combination.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    Marta de la Mata, a DJ and club owner in Brazil and Ibiza. She has limitless energy and is amazingly fun to be around.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    My mother’s extraordinary Christmas cake. The cognac content seems to be increasing every year.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    Something by M. C. Escher.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    A DeLorean with “Flux Capacitor.”

     

    Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    If I had not pursued photography, I would probably be making guns with my father.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    Some lenses, some invitations and some gold, frankincense and myrrh.

     

    J.Harry Edmiston is a London based photographer who has also worked in film, television and commercial production. A solo exhibition of his works will be held at the Alpha Gallery at 23 Cork Street, London, W1S 3NJ from 10th to 14th December 2012.

     

    View J.Harry Edmiston’s website at: http://www.j-harry-edmiston.com

  • Victoria Spicer: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Victoria Spicer: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks the journalist and equestrian expert Victoria Spicer: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

    Sat nav, usually.

     

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    I’m stealing my motto from someone else – “Don’t gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.” Wise words, and not just applicable to my fairly lamentable betting technique.

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?

    Animal suit onesies.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    I’m in the process of moving to the Surrey countryside so I dare say I’ll miss London, easy commutes, a plethora of restaurants, twice weekly trips to the cinema and the Canary Wharf skyline.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    I’d gladly swap my wealth for somebody else’s. I doubt they’d be delighted with the deal though.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    I blame Kerry Katona.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    “At the end of the day.” Ghastly.

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I ran the London Marathon in 2008 in aid of World Horse Welfare so that’s a biggie.

     

    The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    As my friends will tell you, I never look at my phone, and I certainly don’t pounce on it the second I see that little red flashing light.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    Scotland’s rugby team, Andy Murray, Daniel Craig, Elbow, Ross Noble, Ryan Gosling, and a handful of my closest female friends to redress the balance.

     

    Victoria Spicer. Photo credit: © Horse Magazine

     

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    Fillet steak, on the run.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    12.01.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    Can’t I have a cold glass of Pinot Grigio instead?

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    The post-show parties during Olympia Horse Show are usually pretty memorable.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    Not sure I know many – or if they start off positive, I soon drag them back down to earth with a healthy dose of cynicism.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Made in Chelsea.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    Snow Fairy. Class mare. Unfortunately for her, I can’t stand pain and have no desire to get a tattoo.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    I’m quite like my own car – an MX5. Looks like it could be fun to drive but is actually rubbish at getting up hills and handles terribly. Plus it’s either boiling hot or freezing cold, never in between.

     

    Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    I’m related to Cilla Black… And I’m a compulsive liar.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    I’m about to move house so I currently have no mantelpiece – but I’m working on it.

     

     

    Victoria Spicer is a freelance journalist. She is also press officer for the All England Jumping Course at Hickstead and web editor for Horse & Country TV.

     

    View Victoria Spicer’s website at: http://www.victoriaspicer.co.uk

  • Put a sock in it

    Put a sock in it

    Matthew Steeples takes a look at the farcical results of the PCC elections

     

    A former ambassador to the US undiplomatically Tweeted the following an hour or two ago: “Prezza beaten. Humberside policing saved.” His dovetailed stooge, one Mowbray Jackson, added: “Tiresome tub thumper ‘Lord’ Prescott rejected in PCC election. There is a god.”

     

    Lord Prescott faces defeat in the PCC elections like all great men: He proudly holds his head up and heads straight to the bar.
    Sir Christopher Meyer and his sidekick Mowbray Jackson share their somewhat predictable views about Lord Prescott’s defeat.

     

    The first of this pair of social elevators loves a good old Ralph Lauren sofa and the second is often to be found lizard-like with a carafe swilling partner at the bars of London’s Hollywood Road. One stood accused by Prescott of doing “nothing” over phone-hacking whilst chair of the PCC, which probably explains his bitterness, but the other has little connections to the former Deputy Prime Minister other than a picture of himself posing outside 10 Downing Street on his Twitter handle. This image was taken at an event that a certain Lady Meyer hosted with “she so enthusiastic for PCC’s,” our “esteemed” Home Secretary, Theresa May. Dogs, fleas and all that.

     

    From the start, I was very vocal in my view that the PCC elections were a waste of time. I personally couldn’t see the point of them but the one person I thought deserved to win was John Prescott. The right-wing columnist Peter Oborne agreed and summed up my views perfectly in a Daily Telegraph column on Wednesday:

     

    “Most members of the Labour Cabinet [Prescott] served in are now off doing rather grubby jobs in the private sector and feathering their nest, whereas John Prescott, well into his 70s, is still filled with the desire to serve. Good luck to him tomorrow. It would be a magnificent thing for British politics if he wins.”

     

    A Conservative government, though, should not have advocated this additional layer of bureaucracy and all the Police and Crime Commissioners will be is just such. Conservatives are meant to be about “less” rather than “more” government and that one polling station in Wales had a ballot box that, when opened, contained zero papers speaks volumes. It’s been a dismal day for democracy and frankly the government should “sock” the lot of these bureauprats before they have chance to do an iota of damage.

     

    Read Peter Oborne’s article, “Why I hope John Prescott wins in Humberside tomorrow,” at: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100189605/why-i-hope-john-prescott-wins-in-humberside-tomorrow/

  • Breakfast hawks

    Breakfast hawks

    A review of Hawksmoor Guildhall, EC2V

     

    In the first of a series, we publish a number of the most popular articles from the blog that conceived The Steeple Times. Here, in a February 2012 piece, Matthew Steeples reviews a boozy breakfast at Hawksmoor Guildhall with Anthony Brown. After seeing an image of their breakfast on Facebook this morning, we were reminded just how good it truly is, so if you haven’t tried it already – you really should.

     

    On arrival at the Hawksmoor Guildhall, in the heart of the City of London, I immediately found myself thinking about Edward Hopper’s iconic painting Nighthawks.

     

    Nighthawks (Art Institute of Chicago, 1942) by Edward Hopper (1882 – 1967)

    The main dining area at Hawksmoor Guildhall

     

    Here, in this vast space, which can seat 160 in the restaurant and 75 in the bar, was a venue that very much combines the feel of an old banking hall with something akin to a friendlier version of the American café diner in Hopper’s Nighthawks painting. Though, to my mind, the City is indeed a lonely place, the welcoming staff and the somewhat noisy suited brokers created an atmosphere that truly reflected the stature of this fine establishment.

     

    My companion and I wrongly assumed that this relatively new restaurant had simply taken the space of something that had been there before. In fact, this was just a clever trick. The owners, Will Beckett and Huw Gott, collaborated with the Macaulay Sinclair design studio, who were also responsible for their Seven Dials site, to create a style that combines solid mahogany panels made out of Natural History Museum specimen cabinets, a bar formed out of the counter of a Dutch bank and teak flooring taken from the University of the Arts Building near Bond Street. The result is truly impressive.

     

    We opted to share the Hawksmoor breakfast for two priced at £35. This superb offering was served in a large pan with a smoked bacon chop, the most phenomenal sausages made from pork, beef and mutton, black pudding, short-rib bubble and squeak, trotter baked beans, fried eggs, grilled mushrooms, roast tomatoes and HP gravy. Served with unlimited toast, not that it was actually required, this bargain of a meal was a breakfast fit for a king. After this, you really won’t need to eat again for several days.

     

    Also on offer for breakfast, on a menu designed by the Hawksmoor’s executive chef, Richard Turner, are wild mushrooms on toast with poached eggs Hollandaise (£10), a 200g fillet steak with fried eggs and hash browns (£25) and a twist on McDonalds in the form of the sausage and egg HkMufin (£8.50). Scotch pancakes come available with streaky bacon and maple syrup (£6) or with roasted plums (£5).

     

    Urged to try the breakfast cocktails, we sampled the Hawksmoor’s Marmalade Cocktail (£8) of gin, lemon juice, homemade orange bitters and a dash of Campari and another named Shaky Pete’s Ginger Brew (£8.50) that consisted of gin, homemade ginger syrup and lemon juice topped with London Pride. The first was sharp and a perfect awakener and the second, described on the menu as “a turbo –shandy for the discerning drinker,” surprisingly worked utterly brilliant in terms of the ingredients it combined.

     

    Open for breakfast from 7am and serving until 10.30pm at night, this is a restaurant of which the Metro’s Marina O’Loughlin rightly comments: “As Homer Simspon might say, mmmnmnhrhmm…”

     

    Hawksmoor Guildhall, 10 Basinghall Street, London, EC2V 5BQ. Telephone: +44 (0) 20 7397 8120. Website: http://thehawksmoor.com/locations/guildhall

     

    Follow Hawksmoor on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/HawksmoorLondon

     

  • The badgers of Albany

    The badgers of Albany

    Matthew Steeples delves into the history of Albany, Piccadilly and discovers an affordable way of living there

     

    Albany, off Piccadilly in Mayfair, was most probably London’s first apartment block and it’s certainly the city’s most exclusive. It may be next to the Royal Academy and opposite Fortnum & Mason but surprisingly few have even heard of it.

     

    Considering its location, Albany, which some make the mistake of referring to as “The Albany,” is an amazingly quiet oasis of peace and tranquility but, equally, it is a place of intrigue and drama. Residents, or “proprietors,” as they prefer to be known, of the 69 “sets” are particular about the “the” part of the name as they’d rather their residence not be confused with a public house and they are even more protective of their privacy. A porters’ lodge guards the entrance to the building and it is staffed mostly by ex-servicemen, who, until the early 2000s, had to wear top hats and tailcoats. Those allowed to pass enter a rarefied world frequented by what the Irish novelist Marmion Savage (1803 – 1872) identified as “incurable oddities” and “superannuated fops” in The Bachelor of Albany.

     

    The front courtyard and façade of Albany, Piccadilly, Mayfair, London, W1J 0AL
    The rope-walk connecting the various sets of Albany has been traversed by some of the greatest names in history

    Built by Sir William Chambers (1723 – 1796), who also designed Somerset House and the pagoda at Kew, between 1770 and 1774 for 1st Viscount Melbourne (1745 – 1828), Albany was originally known as Melbourne House and conceived as a three-storey mansion, seven bays wide with a pair of service wings flanking a front courtyard. From 1791 to 1802, the property was occupied by George III’s son, Prince Frederick, Duke of York and Albany (1763 – 1827), but after he left, the renowned architect Henry Holland (1745 – 1806) sub-divided the existing house and added two parallel sets of buildings running the length of the garden to create 69 “bachelor apartments” which he named “sets.”

     

    The “roll call” of residents since could easily fill our very own pages thrice over. They number royalty, politicians, artists, playwrights, academics and philosophers and here is a brief selection:

     

    –       Anthony Armstong-Jones, later 1st Earl of Snowdon

    –       Sir Thomas Beecham

    –       Sir Isaiah Berlin

    –       Lord Byron

    –       George Canning

    –       Sir Kenneth Clark

    –       Baroness Pauline de Rothschild

    –       William Ewart Gladstone

    –       Sir Edward Heath

    –       David Hicks

    –       Aldous Huxley

    –       Sir Simon Jenkins

    –       Rupert Lycett Green

    –       Malcolm Muggeridge

    –       Sir Harold Nicholson

    –       J. B. Priestley

    –       Sir Terence Rattigan

    –       Roger Scruton

    –       Baroness Sharples

    –       W. Somerset Maugham

    –       Terence Stamp

    –       Sir Denis and Lady Thatcher

    –       Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree

     

    Each had to pass the vetting of a committee of trustees of this Grade I listed building. That committee forbids children under 14, pets, musical instruments and commercial activities and each approved resident has undoubtedly added to the history of this den dominated by a central walkway named the “rope-walk.” Incidentally, an example of a curious quirk at Albany is that no resident is allowed to speak to another on this walkway. If they do, a fine is incurred. Albany, indeed, is rather like a college in its systems of rules, regulations, order and hierarchy.

     

    For several centuries, women were not even allowed to cross the threshold and one legendary tale tells of Lady Caroline Lamb (1785 – 1828), disguised as a page boy, stealing into Lord Byron’s (1788 – 1824) set in 1815 to leave a note: “Remember me, Byron.” He replied with a simple verse:

     

    Remember thee, aye, doubt it not:

    Thy husband too shall think of thee.

    By neither shalt thou be forgot —

    Thou false to him, thou fiend to me.

     

    The strict and formal structure that controls Albany and ensured its maintenance has succeeded in the main because 34 of the 69 sets are owned by Peterhouse College, Cambridge. They and the other owners are highly particular in whom they lease to and on one occasion on hearing of an “unsuitable tenant,” the secretary of the trustees is reported to have shouted:

     

    “He’s a foreigner. Don’t like him. Don’t trust him.”

     

    Needless to say, that application didn’t progress and nor did one from a physiotherapist who planned to operate from the building. Bone bashing in Albany just wouldn’t do.

     

    The Rt. Hon. Alan Clark MP (1928 – 1999) in the grounds of his main home, Saltwood Castle, near Hythe in Kent in 1993

    A horsewhip, however, nearly crossed the threshold of set B5 in 1994, as it was here that the late Alan Clark MP (1928 – 1999) lived. The affable philanderer seduced the wife and both daughters of a certain South African named Judge Harkess and the wronged man stated he would “have horse-whipped Clark if he had known how comprehensively he had violated his honour.” B5, itself, was described as having the feel of “the straitened quarter of an Edwardian bachelor on his uppers” and the dotty, English attitude of the residents is best summed up by the reaction of Clark’s neighbour when he accidentally flooded their basement. When asked what he could do to make amends, their answer was quite simple: “Go and lie down in Piccadilly and wait for a double-decker bus.”

     

    The dandy and journalist John Morgan (1959 – 2000) typified social change at Albany in the 20th century just as much as he himself redefined etiquette and manners at Debrett’s and The Times. Of “humble origins,” Morgan was brought up in a “modest” bungalow in St Madoes, Perth, Scotland but is credited with persuading William Hague to remove his baseball cap whilst Conservative leader and offering advice ranging from “how to eat a banana” to “how best to tell friends that the partner you would like to bring to their wedding will be of the same sex as you.”

     

    Dandy and etiquette expert John Morgan (1959 – 2000)

    For the bachelor and GQ style director, living in Albany was symbolic of his own personal social elevation but he did not disown his past. This modern day Beau Brummell was a man of social contradictions who cashed his cheques at Claridge’s but was a member of the National Union of Journalists. He was a Tory but still regularly attended chapel meetings as he had done in his youth. Here was a man of paradoxes who seemed unable to come to terms with the fact that he was a homosexual.

     

    Morgan, an asthma sufferer, fell to his death from a fourth floor window on 9th July 2000. He was found in just a white shirt in a basement below a window whose sill was strangely undisturbed. The coroner left an open verdict with a suspicion of suicide and it was widely reported that police found 60 made-to-measure Savile row suits, 300 monogrammed shirts and 90 pairs of shoes in the etiquette expert’s small set. Mystery shrouds the story of his tragic demise to this day but Johnny Morgan will forever be remembered as an arbiter of both good taste and behaviour.

     

    Whilst Morgan represented continuation of the trend of bachelors living in Albany, change also came in the 20th century when the building’s committee removed the restriction that allowed only bachelors to be resident. With that females were allowed in and amongst them Fleur Fenton Cowles (1908 – 2009) was one of the most fascinating.

     

    Fleur Fenton Cowles (1908 – 2009) in her set at Albany with some of her paintings and one by Salvador Dali

    This writer and artist occupied five sets knocked into one with her fourth husband, timber merchant Tom Montague Meyer, and according to the Daily Mail’s Geoffrey Levy, hosted “elite soirees of the powerful and famous.” Levy recounts them at length but here is a flavour:

     

    “On a Wednesday evening, a typical dinner party… would include Foreign Secretary Selwyn Lloyd, Labour leader Hugh Gaitskell, entertainer Danny Kaye and film star Douglas Fairbanks Jr. The Queen Mother regularly came to tea and was once joined by Pavarotti who sang Happy Birthday for the royal guest. ‘I don’t want her to die,’ said Fleur. ‘I couldn’t bear to think she doesn’t live just down the street.’ ”

     

    Fenton Cowles, founder of the ill-fated Flair magazine and a “woman who knew everyone,” loved Albany and an exact replica of her “windowless, milk-yellow” study there has even been recreated at the University of Texas.

     

    Another known for hosting extravagant bashes in Albany was my late friend, the Russian icon dealer John Gaze (1947 – 2011). Gaze had, as a boy, asked his father about the building when he passed it as a child and immediately declared he would live there one day. He took F2, the former set of Edward Heath that overlooked Savile Row to the rear, in the mid 1990s as he craved the safety that the building offered after having been kidnapped at gunpoint by an Oxford graduate conman named Sacheverell de Houghton in April 1991 from his then home in Fournier Street, E1. He made the most of his tenancy.

     

    Russian icon dealer John Gaze (1947 – 2011) reflected in the brass plaque outside his Albany set, F2. It was formerly occupied by Sir Edward Heath.

    Gaze’s parties included a fundraiser for people with AIDS hosted by a drag queen. This sparked fury with certain other residents and coverage in the Daily Telegraph and another incident there involved him encountering Alan Clark on the ropewalk carrying a portrait of Lenin. “Where the fuck are you taking that?” Clark supposedly bellowed but was “reassured” when he was told it was “destined for a less salubrious address in Whitechapel.” John Gaze remained at Albany for several years but, like a number of others I know, was forced out by ever rising rents and moved first to Chelsea and then Ennismore Gardens, Knightsbridge. He always remembered his time at Albany fondly and as a bon vivant, he truly belonged there.

     

    The main reception room in a £1,400 a week set currently available in Albany
    An attic room in the set that could be used as a second reception room or second bedroom
    The kitchen is lacking in character but offers ample space for informal dining

    Contrary to what you’d expect, living in Albany is not quite as expensive as one might think. A 2-bedroomed 1,970 square foot set is currently available through Knight Frank for £1,400 a week: a figure that seems quite reasonable given the location, history and size of this property. Available on a minimum 8-year rental term, it includes a formal reception room, a dining kitchen, 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

     

    This £300 per week set, D2, consists of just one room
    The communal bathroom D2 shares with other sets is basic but clean

    For those looking for something cheaper, Savills offer D2 Albany at £300 per week. This set consists of a 221 square foot third floor attic room with access to a communal bathroom and the agents suggest that it: “would make an ideal reading or writing room or an occasional bedroom for a pied-a-terre.” It’s effectively a posh form of tenement but what a way to impress your peers and subordinates.

     

    Damon and Sandra de László in their “duplex” in Albany

    Those renting either of these sets would find the likes of the industrialist Damon de László, a descendant of the Hungarian painter Philip Alexius de László (1869 – 1937), as their neighbour. The couple occupy Lord Byron’s former set, A2, and have, on occasions, opened it for a charity dinner with Matthew Parris at £1,000 a ticket as well and for members of The Portrait Institute to view their collection of de László’s works.

     

    Professor Philip C. Bobbitt in his grand freehold set

     

    Another present day resident is a man Henry Kissinger calls “the outstanding philosopher of our times,” Professor Philip C. Bobbitt. This Texan lawyer is a nephew of Lyndon B. Johnson and the author of Terror and Consent, which Tony Blair describes as “required reading for political leaders.” Bobbitt owns an impressive flying freehold set that is described as having a masculine style of décor and a “kitchen he has designed to look like a bar.” In an interview for The Independent he states that he finds Albany: “a propitious place to work.”

     

    Though governments and bankers come and go, behind this quintessentially English façade, order and disorder have always been maintained. The wildcards of this hidden haven have a knack for living by the doctrine “to live at Albany is to live in history” and indeed they make the most of that. Those who are lucky enough to be let in, do, indeed, truly find themselves in the “Paradise of Piccadilly.”

     

    For more information about the £1,400 per week 2-bedroomed set in Albany, contact Knight Frank on +44 (0) 20 3641 2489 or go to: http://www.primelocation.com/to-rent/details/21089526?search_identifier=561863685a1a55b5da85141e12cfeec7

     

    For more information about the £300 per week attic room in Albany, contact Savills on +44 (0) 20 3641 2584 or go to: http://www.primelocation.com/to-rent/details/26791351?search_identifier=561863685a1a55b5da85141e12cfeec7

     

  • Liz Jones

    Liz Jones

    This mouthpiece was born in Rettendon, Essex in 1958 and vents bile on all manner of subjects. Articles such as: “Why don’t more women moan like me?” and “Liz Jones’ baby craving drove her to steal husband’s sperm in ultimate deception” are frankly illustrative of why she’s so unpopular. After she got banned from the majority of fashion shows and her husband left her, she quit London for Somerset in 2007 to feed organic muesli to the rats in the barns of a 47-acre farm she purchased as her “rural idyll.” That misadventure came to a sticky end in November 2012 after she’d alienated the whole county by calling them, amongst other things, “smelly” and “faintly Amish.” Goodness knows whom she’ll choose to offend next. Phillip Schofield sums her up best: “She is inconsistent, bitter, nasty and unhinged.” Our advice: Just steer well clear of this acid tongued poison pen.

  • Eddie Redmayne

    Eddie Redmayne

    An Old Etonian and graduate of Trinity College, Cambridge, Redmayne has performed alongside Cate Blanchett, Dame Judi Dench and Julianne Moore. He’s noted for his manners but admits he “didn’t have a clue” when he did work experience in banking prior to embarking on a career as an actor. He’s modeled with Cara Delevingne for Burberry and has a whole cast of “Redmayniacs” as his fan club. Already honoured with a Tony and an Olivier, there’s undoubtedly many more awards to come.

  • Patricia Kluge (née Rose)

    Patricia Kluge (née Rose)

    The rise and fall of the “wealthiest divorcee in history” has been extraordinary. A former nude model for her first husband’s Knave magazine and star of adult films such as “The Nine Acres of Nakedness,” Patricia Kluge is the daughter of an Englishman and a Scots-Iraqi. She married her second husband, the late John Kluge, chairman of Metromedia and once the richest man in America, in 1981 after belly dancing for him at a dinner party in New York. As part of her plan to dovetail herself into the top drawer of American society, the couple built a 24,000 square foot mock 18th century English-style mansion, Albermarle, in Virginia and stuffed it full of Chippendale furniture. She got this as part of her $100 million divorce settlement in 1990 and wisely invested part of the payoff in a highly successful business trading football cards but then vanity struck. The Kluge Estate Winery project that she started with her third husband, William Moses, bankrupted the pair in June 2011 and the Bank of America foreclosed on her properties. A lifeline came from “longtime friend” Donald Trump who purchased the vineyard and employed her, but even he’s now uttered the words: “You’re fired!” and sent her packing. Of her newfound predicament Kluge commented: “What did we lose? Material things, nothing too important. When something like this happens you really see who your friends are, those you can rely on, and we have many friends.” Here is a lady with fortitude that can only be described as admirable. It’s probably best, however, to keep her away from the cash register.

  • Michael Collins: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Michael Collins: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    The Steeple Times asks molecular cuisine guru and managing director of Bubble Food Michael Collins: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

     

    The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

    Passion and creativity.

                                                                                           

    “Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

    “Never put all your eggs in one basket.”

     

    Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?

    Bad hair.

     

    Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

    My mum’s home cooking.

     

    What might you swap all your wealth for?

    More money.

     

    Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?

    The bubble had to burst at some point. I’m lucky as sticking to my motto meant that it didn’t affect me too much.

     

    What phrase or word do you most loathe?

    There is not really a phrase or word I loathe but I hate it when people give excuses.

     

    In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

    I support various good causes, both personally and through my company. I get very fed up with the street fundraisers with their clipboards who try to stop you every three paces to sign up to their charity.

     

    The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

    I’m terrible. I couldn’t live without my phone.

     

    If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

    My lovely Bubble team. We would have lots of fun and do some teambuilding at the same time.

     

    Bubble Food’s Michael Collins

    If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

    I would go to The Ivy and have their amazing chicken korma.

     

    What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

    11am: “gin and it” for elevenses.

     

    A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

    A martini. We do a great “Pink Peppercorn Martini” at Bubble and for Christmas our head mixologist has created a “Snowing Black Forest Martini” complete with white chocolate snow. It’s delicious.

     

    Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

    My own because they’re full of all my favourite people and Bubble does the food and drinks. As a result, the guests seem to always be happy.

     

    Who is the most positive person you know?

    Betty White of Golden Girls fame. I love her.

     

    What’s your most guilty pleasure?

    Bubble’s head chef makes the most divine dessert. It’s a chocolate bubble containing salt toffee mousse, pomegranate and popping candy. Hot yoghurt sauce is poured over the bubble and it kind of implodes. Amazing.  I’ve been told it’s very low in calories though.

     

    If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

    An eagle: It’d be serene and soaring high with prey in its talons.

     

    If you were a car, what marque would you be?

    A Lamborghini.

     

    Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

    Although I’ve been in the events and hospitality sector for over 15 years, I originally studied construction and trained as a chartered surveyor.

     

    What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

    A nude picture of myself from when I first came to live in London.

     

     

    Michael Collins is the managing director of Bubble Food, one of London’s leading food design and events companies. The company specialises in molecular cuisine and their clients number Helena Bonham-Carter, Bella Freud and Jemima Khan.

     

    For more information about Bubble Food telephone +44 (0) 20 7703 2653 or go to: http://www.bubblefood.com

  • Charlene de Carvalho-Heineken

    Charlene de Carvalho-Heineken

    She owns a controlling interest in the world’s third largest brewer and is married to the child star of Lawrence of Arabia, Michel de Carvalho. They live together in London with their five children, are said to be worth £5.5 billion but live “quite modestly.” Of meeting his wife, de Carvalho commented: “I met the girl of my dreams, complete with free beer. I didn’t realise then that marriage is not just about free beer.”