Detached Georgian cottage in Wales goes on for sale for a sum 64% lower than a single parking space in a basement in Knightsbridge
In Knightsbridge right now, Harrods Estates are offering what they term a “spacious” car parking space for the astonishing sum of £225,000 ($302,000, €250,000 or درهم1.1 million) in spite of it having a column intruding into it.
The 8’2” by 15’7” underground space is situated within a building opposite Harrods’ Basil Street entrance and is only available for purchase by those living within a 1,300-foot radius of it. It is held on a lease with 83 years remaining and is subject to a service charge of £743.22 per annum ($1,000, €825 or درهم3,700 per annum).
Whilst this seems surprisingly cheap compared to the £375,000 ($484,000, €448,000 or درهم1.8 million) single space in nearby Ennismore Gardens we featured in February, elsewhere, for those looking to park a lot less money into a serious renovation project, agents Dai Lewis are about to auction what appears from the exterior to be a “quaint” Georgian cottage. Built as an estate manager’s cottage in the late 1700s, 4-bedroom Penbont, near Llandysul in Ceredigion, Wales stands in private gardens adjoining the River Teifi and National Trust woodland, but literally is collapsing inside.
To bid for Penbont in the forthcoming Auction House South Wales sale, click here. Bidding opens on 14th December at 12 noon and ends on the 16th December at 12:02pm. An opening bid of £79,000 ($106,000, €88,000 or درهم390,000) has been set.
The extremely punchily priced Basil Street car park space is entered via a ramp next to Harry’s Dolce Vita.The space is rather limited in that it is intruded upon by a bloody great pillar. You do, however, get a rather swish Rolls-Royce adjoining whatever you park there.Thankfully for the purchaser, Julian Assange has long left the adjoining apartment block.The cottage appears initially quaint in this image.The Welsh cottage literally is full of junk and rather lacking in first floor flooring.There are plenty of old sofas – though nobody other than Onslow from ‘Keeping Up Appearances’ would want to sit on them.The late Laura Ashley wouldn’t exactly rave about the curtains.The staircase is unbelievably intact, but a purchaser would be advised to do something about the wall coverings in the hallway.The kitchen has an original range, but somebody plainly nicked its doors.Those liking double height rooms might feel at home in this space.More recently it was boarded up and resembles a scene from ‘Midsomer Murders.’An outbuilding that isn’t much use to man nor ornament.Plainly, the current owner has a desire to stop gypsy caravans parking.The setting is indeed idyllic, but one needs to be careful of runaway drunk drivers on a Friday
Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after he and his sardine tin are told to move on
Nobody sane would wish to spend their holidays in a glorified sardine tin, but now “upset” caravan owners at the Low Wood, Haverthwaite site are distraught at being evicted.
Moaning pensioner Lloyd Smith complained this week to The Westmorland Gazette about the matter. Pictured standing aside his scruffy looking metal box in his equally awful parka, the Queensbury resident bleated:
“It’s all very upsetting. It’s been a lifetime of enjoyment… I can’t understand this… I’ve been caravanning for more than 60 years. The essence is that caravanning has been a way of life. It’s terribly sad that it has come to an abrupt end in such a way for myself and friends.”
He retchingly continued:
“I have not heard of a caravan site closing. I very much doubt there will be alternatives for the caravans.”
As our regular comment maker Rod from Australia would say: “Yes there is. Send in the bloody wrecking ball.”
One-of-a-kind “big caravan-house” with patio on the roof for sale for £30,000; the current owner bought it for just £1 and spent £70,000 restoring it
Believed to be the last remaining example of 99 originally made, a “revolutionary” hammer finished aluminium caravan named a Berkeley Statesman has gone on sale.
Costing £1,065 when new in 1951 – the same price as a terrace house – and rebuilt at great expense by its current owner Tim Mitchinson after he found it hidden on a farm in Bedfordshire in 2004, the two-floor structure is described as being “a wonderful piece of history lovingly restored to its former glory.”
The 22-foot long by 12-foot high caravan features a living and dining area, a 1950s style kitchen with a range of appliances, two bedrooms capable of sleeping four and a shower room complete with a modern shower and an ingenious sink from an old railway carriage.
An advert for the Berkeley Statesman following its launch at the Earl’s Court Motor Show in 1951
On occasions, Berkeley Statesman caravans have known to take to racetracks
Of it, Mitchinson told the Discovery Channel:
“I thought it so ugly it, it had to be mine… [Restoring it was an] exercise in insanity… But it [is] absolutely unique… She arrived on the back of a lorry and I thought: ‘We’ll have a go.’ … A beautiful silver phoenix… It’s been blood, sweat and tears… A remarkable restoration.”
“I need to sell it so [my] house can be extended but I will miss it terribly. I am really proud of rescuing what is a valuable piece of social history.”
Estate agents RM English are marketing the Berkeley Statesman for just £30,000 ($38,500, €33,200 or درهم141,500) and point out that it is currently located in the centre of York. They add: “It will need to be transported off-site by a low loader trailer.”
Is Douglas Carswell MP an honourable man or just plain stupid?
Douglas Carswell was first elected as a Conservative Member of Parliament in 2005. This week, the Member for Clacton defected to the United Kingdom Independence Party. In doing so, he showed himself to be both be duplicitous and honourable simultaneously and here we analyse the two sides of this Eurosceptic politician. (more…)
An image of Nigel Farage outside his home shows his true character
God help us: They say we get the leaders we deserve and our Picture of the Week clearly shows what we’d be getting if we ever elect Nigel Farage as our Prime Minister. (more…)
Matthew Steeples discovers Michael Winner’s links to descriptions of unwelcome “out of towners”
My last linguistic rambling explored two words, “plebs” and “ladettes,” that, like Andrew Mitchell MP, truly need to be eliminated from our culture. The next two in this series, “grockles” and “emmets,” have far more amusing origins and truly sum up the eccentricities of those living in the South of England.
I was led to believe that the word “grockle” was an ancient description of “those not from round here,” but having done a little research I now discover that it actually emanates from the 20th century TheDandy’s comic strip, “Danny and the Grockle.”
“Grockles” and caravans commonly go together
“The Girl-Getters” (AKA “The System”) starred Oliver Reed, Jane Merrow, Barbara Ferris, Harry Andrews and Julia Foster and was directed by Michael Winner
The Dandy’s “grockle” was nothing other than a dragon like creature. There wasn’t anything more to the beast and it wasn’t until 1964 that the term became popularised when it was used in a film set in the Devon resort of Torquay. In The System (renamed The Girl-Getters for the US market), starring Oliver Reed and directed by Michael Winner, one of the characters states:
“Bloody grockles and their caravans, always jamming up the Devon lanes!”
Henceforth, the word became forevermore linked to tourists and thus we can hold Michael Winner responsible for bringing it to the world’s attention. Winner, who describes, himself as: “A totally insane film director, writer, producer, silk shirt cleaner, bad tempered, totally ridiculous example of humanity in deep shit” really should proudly add a reference to this to his Twitter handle.
Other definitions of the “grockle” are more specific and an especially amusing one separates these interlopers very clearly:
“It’s used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists; those with caravans; those with five kids, a dog, a grandad tagging along and those that have been coming to town for twenty years and think they know and own the place.”
The same commentator on this term continues:
“Someone holidaying in Christchurch who’s from Southampton isn’t a grockle… Foreign tourists aren’t [grockles] either as these generally tend to be considerate people when traveling and don’t make a nuisance of themselves… However, when I went to Puerto Banus near Marbella, I’d heard it was very exclusive but it was full of grockles still.”
The word is now so recognised that it was used in an a 2010 article in The Sunday Times about the sale of Lord Cowdray’s £25 million home in West Sussex:
“Bar a few open-garden events, the Cowdrays have never allowed visitor access to the property, so the eventual buyer won’t have to endure grockles coming up the drive.”
Whilst we have discovered that a “grockle” is a pretty general term, in Cornwall they have a more specific variation. The Cornish use the pejorative nickname “emmet” for tourists.
Derived from the Cornish language word for “ant,” the “emmet” is an analogy for the way in which both tourists and ants are often red in colour and appear to mill around. “Emmets,” it seems, are nuisances who get in the way and whom the locals would rather weren’t there.
Michael Winner wearing a T-shirt complete with his trademark phrase: “Calm down dear”… In this case he states: “It’s only a recession” but we do think he ought to also get one stating: “Calm down dear, they’re only grockles, they’re not from round ‘ere”
Be they a “grockle” or an “emmet,” tourists may well generate millions in revenue for the people of the South West but still, as many a local will say: “They’re not welcome round ‘ere.” I’m sure many a restaurateur feels similarly when Mr Michael Winner lands on his doorstep.
Matthew Steeples updates readers on John Goodman’s return to jail
The conviction of John Goodman in West Palm Beach earlier this year was a tragedy for all concerned but the twists and turns that have followed have been quite something else.
John Goodman in court prior to returning to jail on Friday 12th October 2012
Goodman, who sold his family business, Goodman Manufacturing, for $1.43 billion in 2004 and who also founded the International Polo Club Palm Beach, was found guilty of the offences of DUI Manslaughter and vehicular homicide on 23rd March.
In February 2010, Goodman had crashed his Bentley Continental GTC at speed into a Hyundai Sonata and in the process catapulted it into a canal. Whilst the driver, Scott Wilson, was left to drown, Goodman fled the scene of the accident and later claimed he did not know he’d hit another driver. On the night in question, Goodman had settled a $272 bar bill for himself and friends at The Players Club in Wellington, Florida at 12:52am and had later drunk more alcohol after the accident in a “man cave” to “alleviate [his] pain.”
Scott Wilson’s Hyundai after it was retrieved from the canal into which John Goodman’s Bentley catapulted it
In May 2012, Goodman was sentenced to 16 years in jail but shortly afterwards was released on a $7 million bond pending appeal. At exactly the same time, a juror in the case, Dennis DeMartin, self-published a “tell-all” book, Believing in the Truth, in which he revealed that he conducted drinking experiments to see if he could get drunk after three vodka and tonics. After DeMartin was called in for questioning by Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Jeffrey Colbath, he stated:
“I’m only human. I made a mistake, just like John Goodman made a mistake… What can I say? I’m getting senile.”
John Goodman has spent most of the year under house arrest at his hacienda at 3665 120th Avenue, Wellington with his girlfriend, whom he also adopted as his daughter to protect his wealth, Heather Laurso Hutchins (also known as Heather Colby). In a further twist, Goodman was caught at the property by two of the $2,000 a day off-duty deputies employed to monitor him at 11pm on Wednesday in an upstairs bathroom with a small mirror. He was allegedly using it to pry open his ankle monitor and disable it with water.
Though Goodman claimed he had hit the monitor on a shower door accidentally, Sheriff Ric Bradshaw of West Palm Beach County commented:
“I think he thought, you know, in my estimation he thought that was going to disable it. [It] doesn’t work like that… He paid the price for it because he’s back in the ‘Gun Club Hotel’ [Palm Beach County Jail]. That’s where he’s going to stay.”
“Think about what’s going on in America right now. You know you’ve got celebrities and people with a lot of money, they get arrested, they break the law. And, after a while they just think the rules don’t apply to them.”
“Well, guess what? That don’t happen here. He gets treated just like every other person that’s in my custody. He violates the rules, he’s back in jail.”
As a result, John Goodman will now temporarily remain in jail until the 26th November.
We await the next twist in this case with anticipation.
John B. Goodman sold his family business, Goodman Manufacturing, for $1.43 billion in 2004 and founded the International Polo Club Palm Beach. This socialite and protégé of the $7 billion Ponzi-schemer Sir Allan Stanford, claimed: “I don’t know what happened” when put on trial for smashing his Bentley into a Hyundai driven by Scott Wilson in 2010. Bizarrely, he attempted to adopt his girlfriend as his daughter to save his fortune and after spending years under house, John Goodman was finally jailed for 16 years for killing Wilson in December 2014. Here is a case of an individual some called a “generous and decent man” who truly screwed up.
Six of their children tragically died in a fire at their small semi-detached home in Allenton, Derby in May 2012. They blamed everyone but themselves and were rightly convicted of manslaughter. “Shameless Mick,” a father of 17 by five women, and his wife are certainly prime examples of all that is wrong about Britain today.
