The Steeple Times

Tag: bed

  • Terrible Tracey

    Terrible Tracey

    Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice

     

    Tracey Emin CBE, RA is no doubt liked by somebody, somewhere. She’s made a fortune from what she calls “art” and though her unmade bed is often derided as one of the most stupid creations ever, she had the last laugh when it sold for millions.

     

    Now, though, this vastly overrated multi-millionairess member of ‘The Club’ is moaning that she’s “not wanted” in London anymore and is quitting for pastures new. Her reason? Tower Hamlets Council rejected her plans to demolish a listed building in Spitalfields and replace it with a carbuncle resembling one of Hitler’s ovens.

     

    Terrible Tracey – Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice
    A perfectly fine listed 1920s building stands on the site currently (centre right)
    Terrible Tracey – Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice
    Ms Emin wished to replace it with this hideous carbuncle
    Terrible Tracey – Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice
    Tracey Emin believes people should “love is what you want”; the people spoke and showed they did not love her terrible proposal

     

    In an interview with The Guardian, Emin – whom bizarrely married a “big f**king stone” earlier this year as she “no longer wants to be alone” and whose palatial East End residence already includes a swimming pool – angrily justified her decision. She remarked:

     

    “Tower Hamlets says: ‘We don’t want you’… Well, there’s plenty of other places that do. It’s that simple”.

     

    “Why would you want to be somewhere you’re not wanted? What I’m going to do now is move out of London. I don’t have any choice on that… There’s places now in Britain that are desperate for artists – Margate’s thriving, Folkestone, Hastings. All that Kent coast. And I could have a giant studio and be really relaxed”.

     

    “I’m an international artist who hasn’t got enough room to swing a cat at the moment… If I knocked it down and built a hotel or flats I could greatly benefit. I could build eight, nine, ten flats in here”.

     

    Of the objections to her proposals, she added:

     

    “I’m in a vulnerable place right now… I was scared about having to take all these people on my own – it’s a big thing”.

     

    “I just feel I’ve been pretty bullied by the whole thing and I don’t want to be bullied any more… I don’t get the reaction I get from people”.

     

    In response to Ms Emin’s remarks, local resident Susie Stape told The Steeple Times:

     

    “What this woman, best known for her ghastly unmade bed ‘artwork’, wanted to build looked like something straight out of Auschwitz. It was highly offensive in an area traditionally linked to refugees and all I can say is that I pity wherever Tracey Emin heads next. She’s a blight on any community and we’re so delighted that we’ll soon be rid of her”.

     

    Ms Stape is right: God helps whatever community Terrible Tracey descends on next.

     

    Terrible Tracey – Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice
    A side view of the rejected design
    Terrible Tracey – Tracey Emin announces she’s quitting London after her plans to construct a carbuncle that resembles a Hitler-esque oven are rejected; Londoners rejoice
    Another projection of the ugly building that has thankfully been rejected
  • Gone With the Mill

    Gone With the Mill

    Vivien Leigh’s retreat and final resting place for sale for £3.25 million (more…)

  • Perez Hilton: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    Perez Hilton: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

    ‘The Steeple Times’ asks blogger, columnist and television personality Perez Hilton: “What’s on your mantelpiece?” (more…)

  • Making a new bed to lie in

    Making a new bed to lie in

    Charles Saatchi to sell a bed by Tracey Emin

     

    Charles Saatchi’s ex-wife to be Nigella Lawson recently moved out of their marital home in Shawfield Street, Chelsea. Now, with the sale of a four poster bed by Tracey Emin, he’s chucking out another set of linen. (more…)

  • Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

    Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

    If one spent $2,000,000 on cosmetic surgery, one would expect to end up looking fantastic. It didn’t quite work out in the case of the billionairess “Bride of Wildenstein,” though, as instead she discovered the husband she thought she’d please in bed with a 19-year old Russian. Feline like in appearance, the purr of this New York socialite is said to be just as bad as her bite. She’s known to be a skilled hunter and pilot and once boasted her telephone bills were at least $60,000 a year. Surprisingly far from camera shy, what on earth will she look like at ninety?

  • Winging it

    Winging it

    Sarah Tucker gives an update on goings on at the resort where Madeleine McCann vanished

     

    Four hundred and thirty euros, one bedroom apartment, one week at the height of season at a luxury family resort in Portugal. And oh yes, it’s the Ocean Club at Praia da Luz. There’s availability with two and three bedroom apartments as well. I asked about apartment 5a where Madeleine disappeared but the PR is coming back to me on that one. That was four days ago.

     

    The Ocean Club entrance and Apartment 5A at the top of the street

    I checked this out because having looked at the comments on The Steeple Times McCann roll call entry, I wanted to know what became of the resort where she disappeared.  Last year the lady who owned the property itself couldn’t sell it because women buyers were put off by it’s history.  I don’t blame them. I would never recommend buying from a divorcing couple, no matter how good the deal, so buying somewhere where a child has been allegedly kidnapped is a no no. Estate agents will say nonsense, but that’s a woman’s superstition for you. Or a mother’s superstition.

     

    I remember writing at the time about Mark Warner, a company synonymous with a reputation for keeping parents who treated parenting as a subject to be studied to A*, not as something to leave to instinct, God forbid.  Perhaps that’s an exaggeration, but having recently vox popped over 500 parents* asking if they would leave their children in their hotel room unsupervised while they ate in a restaurant on site, none of them, not one, said they would do so. I never mentioned the McCann case. The question about childcare was mixed in with other family travel related stuff, but some even mentioned the McCann’s case when they responded.  And all claimed they would take advantage of a babysitting service if it was offered or eat earlier and with the kids if it wasn’t.

     

    I was asked at the time if I would ever leave my son alone. I never have. Too risky and having lost him for ten minutes in the salubrious area that is East Sheen high street at five in the afternoon five years ago, because I refused to wait for him to tie up his shoe lace for the nth time, and getting no less than eighteen other men and women, all who had been either waiting for buses, serving or being served in shops, or in several cases drinking in the local pub, to run up and down, shouting his name, I understand the McCann’s need to go to the end of the earth, the prime minister, the Pope, to find their daughter. I completely understand this. What I never understood was their emotional reaction or rather lack of it.    In the meantime babysitting services are still offered at the Ocean Club.

     

    * Using social media (parents of three to six year olds).

     

  • Gerry & Kate McCann

    Gerry & Kate McCann

    Their daughter Madeleine disappeared on the evening 3rd May 2007 from a holiday apartment whilst they sat enjoying tapas with a bunch of friends. Some believe the poor child was kidnapped. Others have alternative theories. A public fund to find “Maddie” raised hundreds of thousands of pounds but Mrs McCann’s book, Madeleine, contains so many references to trips on private jets and meeting famous people that it makes one question whether the search for the child or fame has become the focus.

  • Karen Matthews

    Karen Matthews

    She told “The Mother Of All Lies” when she arranged for her degenerate boyfriend to help her kidnap her own daughter, Shannon, in 2008. She hid the poor child under a bed and basked in the media attention. Not being very bright was what resulted in her being caught and resultantly she failed to collect a reward of some £50,000. Matthews was jailed for eight years but released in April 2012. Goodness knows what this simpleton will do next.