Flat in Onslow Gardens, South Kensington available to rent for the same cost as a week on the Joe Wicks diet through chi-chi estate agents Knight Frank; there is, of course, a catch
In 1928, Sir Noël Coward wrote and sang: “A room with a view, Who’s fooling who?” and estate agents Knight Frank could certainly be asked that of a “lovely” raised ground floor rental apartment they are currently marketing in Onslow Gardens, South Kensington.
Sadly, however, the flat is lacking one detail most would desire: There is no private bathroom. Of such, the “painfully honest estate agent” Roy Brooks (died 1971) might have taken a different view. He would likely have suggested: “Of course, Chelsea has good public baths,” but rather than being just “a room with a view,” whoever takes this compact crib will instead just be getting “a bathroom with a queue.”
Chelsea estate agent optimistically markets an £850 per week house with unpainted walls and an exposed gas meter by announcing: “It does have a new boiler”
Other than the legendary Roy Brooks, the only honest man in his game, estate agents will be optimistic about just about anything. A bit of damp: “no problem”; a nuclear power station next door: “positively charming” but John D. Wood & Co. truly take the biscuit with the marketing material for a property they are currently trying to let in chi-chi Christchurch Street, Chelsea, London.
Sent to us by an eagle eyed reader, the £850 per week ($1,108, €955 or درهم4,070 per week), 867 square foot three floor aforementioned house has conventional features such as a reception room, kitchen, three bedrooms and a bathroom. It also, rather unconventionally, has walls that haven’t even been painted and are just bare plaster. Pictures show also scruffily made-up beds propped up on wooden blocks, wiring and ageing televisions discarded on the floors and a garden littered with leaves.
Of this strange offering, our reader remarked: “I saw this listing and thought it was a half-finished project and up for sale, but no, it’s a rental. Buy-to-let plainly says can’t afford to finish it, says sod it and tries to rent it out in a half-finished state and describe it as a ‘unique house packed with character and charm.’ I particularly like the exposed gas meter!”
When he telephoned, a member of staff at John D. Wood told our reader: “The landlord would prefer to rent the property ‘as is’ and not do further work. It would be at least £1,000 per week if it were finished. He is happy for any tenant to paint and make further improvements.”
In typical estate agent fashion, she optimistically added: “It does have a new boiler.”
Roy Brooks – “A painfully honest estate agent”
“Beyond any doubt the best copywriter for property advertising in the history of the British press,” Roy Brooks (died 1971) took a “puckish delight in telling the truth” about the houses he was asked to sell.
An example of this Kings Road based eccentric’s advertisements read:
“Do not be misled by the trim exterior of this modest period res with its dirty broken windows; all is not well with the inside. The décor of the nine rooms, some of which hangs inelegantly from the walls, is revolting. Not entirely devoid of plumbing, there is a pathetic kitchen and one cold tap. No bathroom, of course, but Chelsea has excellent public baths. Rain sadly drips through the ceiling on to the oilcloth. The pock-marked basement floor indicates a thriving community of woodworm, otherwise there is not much wrong with the property… Sacrifice £6,750.”
Another announced:
“Wanted: Someone with taste, means and a stomach strong enough to buy this erstwhile house of ill-repute in Pimlico. It is untouched by the 20th century as far as conveniences for even the basic human decencies are concerned. Although it reeks of damp or worse, the plaster is coming off the walls and daylight peeps through a hole in the roof, it is still habitable judging by the bed of rags, fag ends and empty bottles in one corner. Plenty of scope for the socially aspiring to express their decorative taste and get their abode in The Glossy, and nothing to stop them putting Westminster on their notepaper. Comprises 10 rather unpleasant rooms with slimy back yard, £4,650 Freehold. Tarted up, these houses make £15,000.”
Justifying his reasoning for driving his Rolls-Royce from London to Russia loaded up with 1,000 pairs of shoes, Brooks – author of Brothel in Pimlico and Mud, Straw and Insults: Confessions of an Honest Estate Agent – glibly explained: “I take these for old times’ sake – Stalingrad and the defeat of the German hordes. Perhaps I could bring back in return some of their women engineers whose factories I saw prefabricating good homes by the thousands.”
Neglected Georgian mansion that has been home to Sir Dirk Bogarde, Basil Dearden, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Matt Aitken and Robert Kilroy-Silk for sale for 39% less than it sold for in 2014
A dilapidated Grade II* listed country house whose extensive roster of owners numbers aristocrats, rock and film stars and politicians is on sale for £3.95 million or 39% less from the £6.5 million sum it sold for in 2014.
Built for the Duke of Buckingham in the 1600s and extending to 10,743 square foot, Beel House in Little Chalfont, near Amersham in Buckinghamshire stands in 13.5 acres of land. It comprises of a 7 reception room, 8 bedroom, 6 bathroom main house and also comes with an indoor swimming pool complex, a tennis court and garaging for 5 cars.
Home to The Hon. Lady Caroline Cavendish in the 1830s and Colonel Abram ‘Arthur’ Lyle of the Tate & Lyle dynasty from 1909 to 1920, Beel House was bought by the actor Sir Dirk Bogarde in a “dilapidated state” in 1954. Of discovering it, Bogarde, who had been renting a cottage in the close vicinity on the Bendrose Estate, stated:
“[The actress Kay Kendall and I] walked across muddy fields from my rented home to look at Beel House. It was a horror. Bleak and empty, few of its twenty-six rooms caught the sun, and the garden surrounding it was a tangle of overgrown rosebeds. Inside it seemed a labyrinth of corridors and stone passages. It was painted throughout in dejected yellow and brown and each room had a rusty gas fire in it.”
Bogarde made significant changes to the building and pulled down a wing of 11 rooms. In their place, he built a swimming pool and a 30-foot long conservatory in the grounds – which Kay Kendall later described as looking like “an out patients’ department” – and it seems he spent several happy years there. He moved to another property nearby named Drummer’s Yard in 1960 and sold Beel House to Basil Dearden, the director of The Assassination Bureau, Khartoum and The Man Who Haunted Himself.
An aerial photo of Beel House, Little Chalfont, Amersham, Buckinghamshire, HP7 9QP, United Kingdom
Images of the exterior of Beel House in the 1950s
Actor Anthony Forwood, Sir Dirk Bogarde’s eventual “life partner,” at Beel House with his dogs Sinuhe and Bogie; Sir Dirk Bogarde in his study at the house
Sir Dirk Bogarde outside Beel House with one of many Rolls-Royces he owned and inside on the house’s main staircase
Film director Basil Dearden, owner of Beel House between 1960 and 1966, worked with Sir Dirk Bogarde on the controversial film ‘Victim’ in 1961; it was the first English language film to use the word “homosexual” and of it one Italian critic remarked: “At last the British have stopped being hypocrites”
Dearden sold up in 1966 and the next famous owners were Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne in the early 1980s. It was whilst here that Mr Osbourne “decided to murder his wife” and of the ensuing incident on 3rd September 1989, the Amersham Museum’s website reports:
“Ozzy Osbourne put the house up for sale after he had been arrested for the attempted murder of his wife whilst living at Beel House. After taking a cocktail of drugs and drinking heavily during a family meal at the Chinese restaurant at Nightingales Corner he attacked his wife and was subsequently arrested. He had no memory of the attack but the conditions of his bail were that he entered a rehab centre, did not contact his wife and did not return to Beel House.”
Marketed for £1.75 million in 1991, unsurprisingly Sharon Osbourne, herself, did not have much positive to say about her time at Beel House either. In her 2006 autobiography, Extreme, she remarked:
“I decided I wanted to go back to England. By this time we had already sold Beel House. I had enough bad memories not to be too sorry to see it go. Also it had reached what the builder called the domino point: mending one thing only triggered something else that needed to be done.”
Images of Beel House during the ownership of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne (photographs by Conrad Rickenbacker)
Robert Kilroy-Silk at Beel House prior to his appearance on ‘I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here’ in November 2008
The house as furnished by Robert Kilroy-Silk and his wife Jan Beech, circa 2014
Matt Aitken, the composer of chart toppers for Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, Rick Astley and Bananarama, supposedly lived at Beel House for a period subsequently and in the 1990s, the property was sold to the “exotically handsome man, with a very un-English facial glow and ice blue eyes” Robert Kilroy-Silk and his wife, Jan Beech.
Controversial television personality Mr Kilroy-Silk, an MP from 1974 to 1986 and an MEP from 2004 to 2009, brought with him a herd of fallow deer as well as Vietnamese pheasants and bantams to Beel House. He lived between there and his home in Spain and then sold up for the staggering sum of £6.5 million in 2014 to an “international buyer” who, according to Country Life’s Penny Churchill, immediately found “it ‘surplus to requirements’ and put it straight back on the market” through Savills.
Of the estate, which by then had been for sale for three years, in October 2017, then selling agent Hugh Maconochie told the Bucks Free Press:
“In many respects Beel House is the archetypal country residence: a Grade II* listed home in the heart of the Chilterns, beautiful grounds and easy access to London by both rail and road. Yet, while it was completely refurbished in the 1980s – new garaging, games block and swimming pool complex included – its current state necessitates a complete restoration project.”
“For those seeking a country residence to move straight into, Beel House is not the home for them. Instead it would appeal to a buyer looking to restore and revive a Georgian gem. A reduction in price over the years reflects the refurbishment that’s required.”
Empty and plainly somewhat neglected, Edward Welton of Knight Frank’s Baker Street office is now marketing the property. His firm describes Beel House as: “An exciting opportunity for a full restoration project, giving someone the chance to create their own style on a private estate, so close to London.”
Beel House – The Names and Numbers
November 2017 – Further reduced to just £3.95 million ($5.29 million, €4.47 million or درهم19.44 million) through Knight Frank.
January 2017 – Reduced to £4.95 million ($6.63 million, €5.61 million or درهم24.37 million) through Savills.
November 2015 – For sale again for £6.5 million ($8.7 million, €7.4 million or درهم32 million) through Savills.
2014 – Sold to “an international buyer” by Robert Kilroy-Silk for “close to” the £6.5 million ($8.7 million, €7.4 million or درهم32 million) asking price.
June 1991 – For sale for £1.75 million (the equivalent of £3.45 million, $4.62 million, €3.91 million or درهم16.98 million today).
October 1989 – Placed for sale by media personalities Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne.
1966 – Placed on the market by Basil Dearden for £66,000 (the equivalent of £1.1 million, $1.5 million, €1.2 million or درهم5.4 million today).
Circa 1960 – Sold to film director Basil Dearden (1911 – 1971).
January 1954 – Sold to actor Sir Dirk Bogarde (1921 – 1999) for £4,000 (the equivalent of £101,000, $135,000, €114,000 or درهم497,000 today).
1836 to 1954 – Part of the estate of the Lowndes family, largescale landowners in the Chesham, Buckinghamshire area. During this time tenants included The Hon. Lady Caroline Cavendish and from 1909 to 1920 by Colonel Abram Lyle (of the Tate & Lyle dynasty).
1730 – Valued at £500 (the equivalent of £99,000, $133,000, €112,000 or درهم487,000 today) by Sun Insurance whilst home to Thomas White of Middle Temple.
1672 to 1682 – Home to Mary Pennington, the mother-in-law of the Quaker founder of the State of Pennsylvania, William Penn.
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Directed by Lee H. Katzin and produced by Jack N. Reedish, the 106-minute the 1971 fictional Indie film cost some £5.8 million ($7.6 million, €6.5 million or درهم27.9 million) to make but surprisingly took just £4.2 million ($5.5 million, €4.7 million or درهم20.2 million) at the North American box office.
The suit will be offered with no reserve with an estimate of £303,000 to £380,000 ($400,000 to $500,000, €344,000 to €430,000 or درهم1.5 million to درهم1.8 million).
One-off 1971 Rolls-Royce Phantom VI cabriolet to be auctioned; originally commissioned by a British playboy turned jailbird with connections to Princess Margaret but only actually completed in 1993
Offered with an estimate of £308,000 to £462,000 ($400,000 to $600,000, €340,000 to €511,000 or درهم1.5 million to درهم2.2 million), this truly unique, one-of-one design was amazingly the final Rolls-Royce Phantom VI completed in spite of the model remaining in production until 1991. This mammoth beast of a car, surprisingly, however, has just 72 miles on its clock and is thus described as “as brand new.”
The car’s first owner, Robert ‘Bobby’ Buchanan-Michaelson, was a bit of a playboy but sadly he never got to actually drive or be driven in it. A “member of Princess Margaret’s inner circle of friends,” this Cambridge graduate was a member of the “Mayfair mammas’ lists of the season’s most eligible bachelors” until “exchanging his Edwardian hacking jacket for prison grey” in 1954 after being jailed for 12 months for an import/export fraud according to a report in Sydney’s World’s News in August that year.
Some years after being freed, ex-con Buchanan-Michaelson took part in the 10,000 mile 1968 London to Sydney Marathon in a Mercedes-Benz 280SE. In a book about the adventure he was described as both a “successful and wealthy businessman, employing a cook, a butler, a maid and a chauffeur” and as an “accomplished sportsman.” Also listed as a lavish spender, Buchannan-Michaelson was later bankrupted in November 1977 – though at the time he lived in grandeur at both at Churchbury Manor at Fairford, Gloucestershire and 26 The Vale, in Chelsea, London, SW3.
In 1970, in the period between the international car race and his bankruptcy, Buchanan-Michaelson commissioned Rolls-Royce to build him a Phantom VI. After delivery to Jack Barclay Ltd. In June 1971, the vehicle’s chassis was sent to Frua of Torino, Italy to have bodywork fitted but for some reason work stopped and it was not until 1977 – and by now with a new American owner, James Leake, and new drawings of its eventual form – that the project continued.
With Pietro Frua (1913 – 1983) retiring soon thereafter and Mr Leake’s death in 1983, the chassis passed to new ownership and it was only eventually completed as a finished motor vehicle in 1993.
That year, the four-door ‘state cabriolet’ was displayed at the Geneva Motor Show and its boxy look must have surely either have wowed or horrified visitors. It is described as having “an elaborate multi-position convertible top allows the car to be configured as a sedanca de ville, landaulet or fully open convertible.” The interior is trimmed in burled walnut with sterling silver inlays and amongst other luxuries are front and rear heating, air-conditioning, fresh-air ventilation systems, a television, a video player, a radio and a cocktail cabinet. Underneath the seats is a portable Davidoff cigar humidor and even a matching silk-lined ladies’ vanity case. What more could anyone ever need?
RM Sotheby’s will sell the Frua Phantom VI at their Monterey sale in California on 19th August and term it: “The last word in modern opulence.”
A selection of five cars owned and previously owned by ‘personalities’ to be auctioned at the Silverstone Classic Sale in July
On the 29th and 30th July, Silverstone Auctions will sell both classic and contemporary cars at their Silverstone Classic Sale in Northamptonshire. Amongst them are five cars owned or previously owned by the Sultan of Brunei, the actor Rowan Atkinson, the singer Lulu, the television chef Gary Rhodes and the musician Elton John.
($37,000 to $42,000, €32,000 to €37,000 or درهم135,000 to درهم154,000)
Supplied new to the Sultan of Brunei and kept by him until 2005, this British Racing Green and Chancellor red leather interior Volante is being marketed as a “future modern classic.” It comes with a “huge history file” as well as its royal pedigree.
($50,000 to $59,000, €43,000 to €51,000 or درهم183,000 to درهم217,000)
One of the last 400 traditional Land Rovers made and offered on behalf of its current owner Rowan Atkinson CBE, this example has just 2,260 miles on the clock. The actor and comedian is selling as he has recently upgraded to the 110 four-door version.
($131,000 to $157,000, €114,000 to €137,000 or درهم481,000 to درهم578,000)
Delivered new to then wife of Maurice Gibb, Marie McDonald McLaughlin Gibb (AKA ‘Lulu’ and now Lulu Kennedy-Cairns OBE), this “last of the line classic” was kept by the Boom Bang-a-Bang singer for three years. It has had two additional owners since and needs its air conditioning recommissioning.
($164,000 to $203,000, €143,000 to €177,000 or درهم602,000 to درهم746,000)
Owned by television chef Gary Rhodes from new and having covered just 558 miles in its 11-year life, this Ferrari is capable of a top speed of 196 miles per hour and 0-62 miles per hour in just 3.7 seconds. It has been serviced four times and is described as “a unique opportunity to buy a real collector’s piece.”
($688,000 to $753,000, €600,000 to €657,000 or درهم2.5 million to درهم2.8 million)
Owned by Sir Elton John from 1973 to 1975 and supposedly bought off the back of the success of his Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album, this Daytona has covered 81,675 miles from new and is said to be “presented in excellent order.”
For more details about the auction and viewing, click here.
The Wing Building, Silverstone Circuit, Northamptonshire, NN12 8TN.
1964 Mini Cooper S hatchback designed to carry the golf clubs of the much-loathed Postmaster General, Minister of Transport and alleged tax fraudster Ernest Marples for sale
Twice married and born in Levenshulme, Manchester, Ernest Marples – later Lord Marples – makes the very worst of modern politicians look like relative babes in arms. He can, however, be credited with commissioning a rare thing – the first ever Mini hatchback. Two were made in total and one, which was eventually transferred to the ownership of the politician in 1968, is to be auctioned in July.
Pictured left: (Alfred) Ernest Marples (1907 – 1978) with his secretary turned second wife, Ruth Dobson. They married in 1956 and he became The Rt. Hon. The Lord Marples, PC in 1974. Pictured right: Lord Marples in his ‘Marples Mini’ (date unknown).
Marples, whose upbringing was within the Labour Party and whose love of eccentric orange-brown shoes and blue suits was well known, worked as a miner, postman, chef and accountant before a stint in the Royal Artillery between 1941 and 1944. He then joined the Conservative Party, was elected Member of Parliament for Wallasey in 1945 and took his first ministerial post in 1951. Promoted by Churchill, Macmillan and Douglas-Home, he rose to become Postmaster General and Minister of Transport and introduced the STD telephone code, the Premium Bond scheme, the first postcodes, the MOT test, roadside single yellow and double yellow lines and possibly, in his most unpopular move of all, traffic wardens.
Aside from his public appointments, controversially, Marples became a director of various companies in the 1940s. Without considering any potential conflicts of interest, he involved himself in firms that built the first motorways and several power stations also and attracted much attention after protestors spray painted a motorway bridge near Luton that his firm, Marples Ridgway and Partners, constructed with the caption: “Marples Must Go!”
Subsequently, Marples brought the government into disrepute through his part in a prostitution scandal and after this was covered up in 1963, he later “cut and run” to Monaco in 1975 to avoid “a substantial tax bill” after being discovered having parked most of his assets in Monaco and Liechtenstein. He spent his final years on his 45-acre vineyard estate in Fleurie, France and died in a Monte Carlo hospital in 1978.
The ex-Ernest Marples 1964 Austin Mini Cooper S 1071 will be sold by H&H Classics at their Imperial War Museum Duxford sale in Cambridgeshire on the 26th July. It has an estimate of £70,000 to £80,000 ($89,500 to $102,300, €79,100 to €90,400 or درهم328,800 to درهم375,900) – a sum that would no doubt, if he were still alive, have money obsessed Marples smiling with glee.
Of the almond green car, which supposedly the hatchback boot was fitted to on the orders of Marples on the basis he wanted to be easily able to fill it with cases of wine and golf clubs, Damian Jones of H&H Classics commented:
“This is not just another Mini. It is history on four wheels. Its former owner, Transport Minister Ernest Marples changed the face of Britain with housing, bridges, motorways. He was a very ‘colourful character’ to say the least. It is fascinating that he chose to buy and use this relatively modest car when going golfing or going to France on holiday. If this car could speak what tales might it tell? It is truly one of a kind.”
Classically proportioned Wiltshire village house for sale; it’ll supposedly appeal to “your typical wealthy Briton” (whatever that might mean)
Primarily built between 1620 and 1760, a classically proportioned four-storey house in the Wiltshire village of Seend has been placed on the market this week for £4.5 million ($5.8 million, €5.2 million or درهم21.2 million).
Of ashlar and rendered stone construction and built for Mary, Dowager Duchess of Somerset in 1760, Seend Park (or ‘Seend Green House’ as it was previously known) was owned by the now retired judge Sir Mathew Thorpe from 1971 and since 1990 by its current owners. It has been Grade II listed since 1962 and was somewhat unkindly described by the architectural scholar Sir Nikolaus Pevsner CBE FBA (1902 – 1983) as: “So absolutely plain… that it looks like an institution”.
The main house, which has been modernised in recent years and extends to 11,357 square foot, includes 4 reception rooms, 11 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms. It has many original features and in addition there is a 4 bedroom, 1,994 square foot lodge and a 3,630 square foot coach house within the property’s 26.4-acre grounds.
Of the pint-sized mini estate, James Mackenzie of selling agents Strutt & Parker told The Times: “Architecturally, the house will attract your typical wealthy Briton”.
Ex-President Josip Broz Tito 1964 Fiat 500 Jolly by Ghia to be sold at auction in London
Josip Broz Tito liked cars. It appears he didn’t care if they were little or large and someone without the means to purchase his £2.5 million ($3.1 million, €2.9 million or درهم11.4 million) 1971 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman Landaulet – featured on these pages in April – could acquire a 1964 Fiat 500 Jolly by Ghia owned by him for the lower, yet still somewhat punchy, sum of £70,000 to £100,000 ($90,500 to $129,300, €83,200 to €118,900 or درهم332,400 to درهم474,800) at an auction in London in May.
Josip Broz Tito, born Josip Broz (1892 – 1980), President of Yugoslavia (1953 – 1980)
To be offered by Coys of Kensington at their forthcoming Royal Horticultural Halls sale in Westminster on 18th May, the ‘Economical’ converted Fiat 500 was owned from new by the 1st President of Yugoslavia. He was pictured using it on numerous occasions.
Subsequently part of the Classic Automobile Museum collection in Belgrade for a number of years, the white runaround – chassis number 1100271507 – has covered just 12,500 miles and is described as “driving like new”. It comes with a certificate of authenticity and would make the perfect accessory for the owner of a super yacht, seaside estate or golf course.
Historic Battersea mansion for sale for the same sum it was marketed for in 2011; it has been mostly empty throughout the intervening period and was renovated by the late billionaire Malcolm Forbes
Billionaire publisher Malcolm Forbes was a man who liked to live large. He had a huge yacht named The Highlander, threw lavish parties across the globe and counted Gianni Agnelli, Gordon Getty, Calvin Klein, Robert Maxwell, Rupert Murdoch, Henry Kissinger, Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump as friends. This “mysterious collector” also owned numerous residences and one of these, Old Battersea House in London, is for sale for the same sum as it was marketed for in 2011.
Often seen with Elizabeth Taylor at his side and described as “living life in the fabulous”, Forbes purchased Old Battersea House in 1971. It had previously been home to and saved from demolition by Battersea Council by the eccentric author and ghost hunter Wilhemina Stirling. She took up a lifetime tenancy on the building in 1931 and used it to house artworks by her sister, Evelyn de Morgan (1855 – 1919).
Grade II* listed since 1954 and adapted during Forbes and subsequently his son Kip’s ownership to showcase a vast collection of Victorian art and antiques, Old Battersea House was built on Tudor foundations in 1699 and was at first known as ‘Terrace House’. It originally had gardens extending down to the River Thames and is rumoured to have been designed by Sir Christopher Wren (1632 – 1723).
Featuring “handsome classical proportions throughout” and standing within a 110-foot wide walled garden, the 10,100 square foot house includes 4 reception rooms, 10 double bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. It has off-street parking and a garden store but it is sadly overlooked by the adjoining housing estate that was built in its grounds in the 1930s.
The impressive hallway of Old Battersea HouseAnother entertaining spaceElizabeth Taylor and her then husband Larry Fortensky at Old Battersea House in 1992Images of the house as it was furnished during the ownership of the Forbes family