Convicted racist, drunk and bedraggled-pissed-up-lying-on-the-floor with he-who’s-yet-to-explain-a-death-in-swimming-pool Michael Barrymore, Marie Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben pushed the boat out (or supposedly desired to do so) on Boxing Day.
Normally a habitué of ‘Celebrity Waitrose’ in Belgravia, this all-round wrong’un and permanent resident of the rat-infested (but given her decidedly undiplomatic antics inappropriately named) The Diplomat Hotel in Chesham Street, SW1 was instead spotted at the Queen’s grocers, Partridges, on Duke of York Square on the Kings Road, SW3.
Said petulant pest and scurrilous skinflint, a reader of The Steeple Times observed, was spotted hectoring a most patient shop assistant and was seen to haggle down the price of some chocolate.
The “very aggressive” (according to a doctor’s report in 2014) nasty old fruitcake was politely told: “This is not sadly possible” and thus skulked away. She did, however, leave with a few other scraps, but, like Oliver Twist, probably then headed off to Waitrose to ask for more. God bless any poor shop assistant who has to put up with her.
“You brown people, you are ruining Britain.”
“Brown people are ruining London… You have stayed here ten years, this must be India.”
“N*****s should not be allowed here.”
“[People are] taking advantage of [my] connections.”
“The police, I remember, [are] very nasty.”
“I am not responsible for what I cannot remember.”
“[I have my] own coat of arms.”
“I was very spoilt indeed.”
“I am very sad because I miss [my black scarf]… I hope whoever finds it or has it… That it will bring them bad luck… They should pray God [sic] that they don’t meet me wearing it.”
“[My ex-husband] used to call [me] ‘IMC,’ Incredible Marie-Claire.”
“[I] can arrange ‘almost’ everything.”
“[I can arrange] a maharajah, political figures, Swiss bankers, get a school for the children, etc.”
“It can all be arranged.”
“[I] believe nothing is impossible.”