Bungling Bernie

Bernie Ecclestone accused of bribing F1 drivers by an Australian F1 legend

 

Bernie Ecclestone – whose Christian name is often used in the context of bungs and bribes – is just the kind of person whose past mistakes keep coming back to haunt him. An encounter with an Australian driver named Alan Jones in 1985 is an example of such.

 

Gnome-like Ecclestone – not to be confused with Theresa May’s relatively innocent garden gnome-like little hubby – supposedly, according to a new autobiography, it now turns out, supposedly paid Jones to “feign illness and miss the controversial 1985 South African Grand Prix in order to avoid sparking outrage with a team backer.”

 

In an extract, published by News.com.au, Jones reveals:

 

I was summoned to see Bernie Ecclestone in his penthouse. Not sure what I had done this time, I fronted up. As I went in the door Bernie said, “How do you feel?” Standard greeting, although he had a look in his eye, I gave him a standard reply, “Pretty good, thanks.”

 

“What do you think your chances are of winning the race tomorrow?” he asked.

 

Again, I felt no need to be subtle: “Bernie, I think you know the answer to that question. If I start now, probably pretty good.”

 

“Well, I’ve got a bit of an idea. If you pull up sick and can’t run again this weekend, we’ll give you first-place prize money. Go home and visit Australia.”

 

The background was that US civil rights activist Jesse Jackson had said that if a Beatrice car raced in South Africa he was going to get all of the black workers — thousands of them — at Beatrice around the US to go on strike. Beatrice couldn’t be seen to be backing down to an individual like him, but if they didn’t back down there was a chance of the strike.

 

So Bernie came up with an idea. “If the driver falls crook and can’t drive, then the Beatrice car doesn’t race. It’s a force majeure. Jesse Jackson can’t get on his soapbox and say, ‘I forced that company to withdraw,’ and he also couldn’t call a strike because the car didn’t race.”

 

The idea was that I would wait until Saturday morning when everyone went to the circuit. I would quietly check out, and jump on a plane to Harare to get home (because Qantas wouldn’t fly to South Africa).

 

This could not afford to leak at all. I’m pretty sure only Teddy and Carl knew from inside the team. I could not tell the mechanics or anybody.

 

And so, on the Saturday morning I was gone. I just didn’t turn up. They had the car out ready to go, when they were told, “AJ’s been struck down by a virus and we are not racing.”

 

I made a miraculous recovery for the Australian Grand Prix, which was just as well.

 

And still, some wonder: “Why doesn’t Bernie Ecclestone have a knighthood?” The answer is clear.

 

Pictured above: Alan Jones and Bernie Ecclestone.

 

14 COMMENTS

  1. WTF????????????? Dirty Bernie looks like a white version of Kim Jong Il or whatever he’s called!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alan Jones just looks podgy!!!!!!!!!!! Lock ’em both up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Both bloody ********** and should be doing **********. Jones should also be stripped of everything he’s won. [EDITED FOR LEGAL REASONS]

  3. People sometimes miss the point with Bernie. Yes he sails ( extremely) close to the wind and by his own admission he’s a deal maker, however he’s made everyone involved in the sport extremely rich and elevated it to one of if not the most viewed sports in the world. (Not counting single events like the World Cup) Yes he’s done okay as well 🙂 however he gets things done and certainly has been responsible for the global success of the sport and the promotion of many countries that F1 is now present in.
    In my opinion the sport will not do so well under its new ownership.

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Will Ghislaine Maxwell Motor On?

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

Runners & Riders – The Oaks and The Derby 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp double at Epsom on ‘Super Saturday’; we suggest enjoying The Oaks and The Derby 2020 at home.

Hooping A Half Price Mansion

Vast Edwardian mansion with basketball court in the roof in Watseka, Illinois for sale at half price it listed for in 2016; it’s on for just £20 per square foot.

Wally of the Week – Disgraceful Dimwit Darren Grimes

As manipulated millennial Darren Grimes gets himself into yet another racism storm with the help of his beloved bigot Dr David Starkey, one has to ask: “Who is this cretin’s puppet master?”

Bow Wine Vaults Back

Acclaimed restaurateur Philip Lawless to reopen Square Mile institution and haunt of city financiers the Bow Wine Vaults on Monday.

Remembering Jeffrey Epstein Albuquerque Style

Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials).

E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

The Pargetter Triptych

Matthew Steeples urges fans of ‘The Archers’ to forget the BBC’s revised coronavirus version; until normality returns, give ‘The Pargetter Triptych’ a...

A Demon Rolls-Royce

Rolls-Royce owned by “maverick” Demon Internet dot-com millionaire Cliff Stanford to be auctioned; his au pair was tragically murdered in Spain; he was convicted of “email spying” in a scandal featuring gerrymanderer Dame Shirley Porter.

Hero of the Hour – Lenin Gutierrez

After standing up to a woman named Amber Lynn Gilles who berated him whilst doing his job, Starbucks barista Lenin Gutierrez is going to use the unexpected donation ‘tips’ he received to help others.

Elton John Needs an Olive Branch

As Sir Elton John is slammed for his treatment of his ex-wife, we suggest he ought to offer an olive branch as appeasement to get her off her ‘Crocodile Rock.’

Buckle Up! Barking Baker Harber Has Bitten Back

Victoria Baker Harber has sent Kenny Schachter a “cease and desist” letter in the wake of her on-off conman lover Inigo Philbrick being snared by the FBI.

BLM Doesn’t Matter to Bernie Ecclestone

As “cranky gargoyle” Bernie Ecclestone disgracefully tells CNN that “black people are often more racist than white people,” we join those demanding he apologise for such reprehensible and utterly senseless remarks.

Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks

Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.

Monster of the Moment – Priscilla Magana

Bear butchering barbarian bitch and slutty sportswear seller Priscilla Magana should be banned from social media; this Trump supporting monster instead belongs in the nuthouse.

Hapless Hancock gets a Right Royal Brenda-ering

Restaurant critic Tom Parker-Bowles does a ‘Brenda from Bristol’ in suggesting Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s telly box appearances “drive him mad” whilst chatting to William Sitwell on his Instagram TV show ‘Biting Talk’

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
16.8 ° C
18.3 °
16.1 °
82 %
7.7kmh
90 %
Sun
21 °
Mon
21 °
Tue
22 °
Wed
19 °
Thu
19 °