Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

Hailing from Canada and Cameroon respectively, Sam Malin and Irène Major can best be described as “a curious couple”. Whilst Madagascar based Malin claims to have made his fortune in oil, gas and minerals, Major was one half of a singing duo named MAJOR that appeared on X Factor and was unceremoniously rejected by Simon Cowell as his “idea of hell” in 2014. Having paid £600,000 for a former headmaster’s residence in Thurrock, Essex circa 2007, Malin and Major pumped around £1 million into adding such features as a hair salon to it. The couple appeared on Channel 4’s Million Pound Properties in April 2015 and despite a price of just £950,000 for the “quirky” property, it was shown as an illustration of a house not worth the amount spent on it. As of 2009, the couple were also reported to own a 13th century ruined castle in Scotland (that came with “the Scottish feudal title of Lord and Baron of Hailes and Lady Hailes”), a £136,000 house in Cameroon, a £410,000 property in British Columbia and a £340,000 property in Madagascar. Whilst Sam Malin, who is also president of Burke’s Peerage and collects classic cars, attempted to show modesty by telling Growth Business: “We also have a Vauxhall Carlton [for] when we want to lower our profile a bit”, his overtly confident wife appeared in the Daily Mail and on ITV’s This Morning in 2014 to share her views on skincare products. She controversially yet casually remarked: “When my skin is lighter, I just feel prettier… You grow up knowing that the lighter ladies are the prettier ones. It’s just a fact”. Sam Malin and Irène Major added Ingress Abbey – in the middle of a Crest Nicholson development described as “Estuary England, home of the Ford Escort Cabriolet, the glottal stop and now the mega housing estate” – in Greenhithe, Kent to their “collection” circa 2012 and plainly won’t stop until they’ve achieved global domination.

The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

1

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

2

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

3

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

4

The Cheery Street Sweeper

5

Katherine Knight

6

Brenda from Bristol

7

The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

8

The Pret Prayer

9

The Pret Sleeper

10

Prince John Zylinski

11

The Pret Spitter

12

Marina Gibson

13

Margaret Wooliscroft

14

Angelo Vizcaino

15

Mr Penny Farthing

16

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

17

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

18

Mikel Ruffinelli

19

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

20

Kensington Claus

21

The Knightsbridge rose seller

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

22

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

23

Paul and Selena Bailey

24

John Bly

25

Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

26

Malavath Poorna

27

Linda Sandler

28

Pablo Salcedo

29

Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

30

June and Leon Bernicoff

31

Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

32

Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

33

Sarah Meakin

34

Julia Bradbury

35

Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

36

Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

37

Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

38

The musical tramp

39

Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

40

Charity Charity

41

Kimi Räikkönen

42

Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

43

Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

44

Gavin Rankin

45

Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

46

Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

47

Sultan Kösen

48

Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

49

Cedric Robinson MBE

50

Oliver Newton

51

Don who's Donna at night

52

Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

53

Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

54

Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

55

Derek Bell MBE

56

Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

57

£50 grifter

58

Parrot Man

59

Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

60

John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

61

Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

62

Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

63

Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

64

The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

65

Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

66

Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

67

Claus Von Bülow

68

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

69

Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

70

Umberto Scomparin

8 COMMENTS

  1. They buy awful houses, spend a fortune on them and then wonder why they don’t sell. The evidence m’lud:
    1. A castle that is a ruin. Bought to get a crappy title.
    2. A former school headmaster’s house with no garden in the middle of a tacky housing estate. They added a hair salon and a naff bar and wonder why nobody wants it.
    3. A mansion that ended up engulfed by industrial sprawl and now a vile housing estate.

    Off to The Tower with ’em.

  2. We met Irene at her Daughters birthday party and she was lots of fun, inviting all the parents onto the children’s bouncy castle. What a character.

  3. Wow seems like a few of you have jealousy issues! Who wouldnt enjoy the luxury of their own bar and hair salon, your clearly bitter that you would never be able to afford a home like that! They have beautiful homes, i recently visited their current residence Ingress Abbey it was lovely and Sam Malin was very welcoming such a nice man. You know the old saying if you havnt got anything nice to say dont say nothing at all!!

  4. Well it’s quiet obvious the woman has no self-esteem. To make the comment, “Women feel better when their skin is lighter is preposterous. Just ask all the pale skin women who visit the tanning salons..?

  5. Irene and Sam are two of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Despite being worth millions they treated me like a friend. They’re extremely generous and loving people.

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