Sun Apr 05, 2020 London

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The pointless and the pathetic

Barbarella Buchner

Barbara Buchner and her two pet cats Spider and LugosiLanzarote based web designer Barbarella Buchner ‘married’ her cats Lugosi and Spider in January 2004. She has a “catified” loo seat, “attends cat support groups” and on coming across the website states she states “she screamed: ‘Have my money and send me a certificate of our marriage’ ”. Buchner adds: “I’m not alone, I have my cats now. I have no regrets and I don’t care what people say… If a man ever approaches me, I just tell them straight off: ‘Sorry, I’m married to my cats’ … Obviously I don’t have sex with my cats. It’s just pure, spiritual, unconditional love… It’s like gay or polyamorous marriage. As long as we’re happy, why should anybody criticise?” The fact that this tattooed, cannabis growing attention seeker has two Twitter accounts (one of which she describes as “official” despite it having just 100 followers) and has told this ridiculous story to The Mirror, the Metro, the Daily Mail and The Huffington Post amongst others about says it all.




24 comments on “Barbarella Buchner”

  1. She is harming no one. I love my cats to and you should be praising her. She looks like a kind hearted dear woman and I hope that she will use her fame to support and help the Find Madeleine campaign. Poor dear Gerry and Kate McCann need your help to find their beloved daughter Madeleine Barbarella. Please tweet about Find Madeleine and please send a donation.

  2. Hi All. Let me separate the facts from the fiction here.

    The press are total divs and twisted everything I told them to suit their own *attention seeking* needs.

    1. I do NOT attend cat support groups. Like I say above, this must have been twisted by the press because I run a local Lanzarote Cat Lovers group on Facebook, which is not a *support* group, but a *fun* group of like-minded people here on the island where I live who like to talk about their cats and post photos and other stuff.

    2. I never screamed “Have my money and send me a certificate of our marriage”. I simply went on the website, paid with PayPal and they sent me the certificate. Simple as that. No drama or screaming involved.

    3. I have a few small tattooes that are easily concealed with sleeves or trousers. “Tattooed” person always sounds like having tattooes all over their body or down their whole arm etc. I don´t.

    4. I have a few cannabis plants on my balcony, but I stress that it is LEGAL in Spain to have a few of those on your private property for private use. I am not a cigarette smoker nor a social or regular cannabis smoker. I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia, with both of which you are in 24/7 pain all over and there´s no cure, and I smoke a tiny bit of weed every night because even the strongest (codeine/tramadol) prescription meds that I have tried do not help for the pain, which is so much worse at night when I have nothing else to distract me from the pain. I do not like the effect weed has at all (except for pain control for sleep) because I like my mind sharp, not stoned and woolly-headed.

    5. If I was an attention seeker I would have seeked attention 11 years ago already. The press simply got wind recently of me having married my cats and approached me and they *paid* me to do an interview with them. Definitely wouldn´t say no to a few hundred €€€. What I didn´t expect is them to twist almost everything I said in the interview round so it sounds like I´m a total nutter (which I don´t deny, but I´m a nutter in a good way!). In the video, they also cut bits out that I said in explanation of things (or to add that it was meant humourously), which then made it look totally out of context and “wrong” in places, and not exactly what I actually *meant*. But that is the press for you! THE SUN newspaper was even worse. They said that *I wore a dress with cats on at a ceremony at home as I knelt next to my grooms and said my vows*. WTF?! I never said or did any of that! They totally made that up!

    6. I have two Twitter accounts because I want to tweet private stuff that I do not want the whole world to see, so the one account is only for my friends and family, the other one is public. I don´t know what´s wrong with having only 100 followers? I don´t NEED or WANT more than that, like some celebrity or popstar has! I´m quite happy with the way it is, thank you very much!

    So there. That´s the FACTS for ya, folks.

    1. You put yourself out there with the media, you took your chances. You got paid for it. You have a website publicising all of this so you should not complain when you are criticised. I wish you great happiness with your cats.

      1. Hi Matthew. I´m not complaining. But I do wish to put the facts straight and sort the lies from the truth.

        This is the first time in my life I had something major to do with the press and I truly did not know before how they would twist everything I say out of proportion. Of course, I am enjoying my bit of fame, who wouldn´t, and so I have put all that on my personal blog(s) so my friends and family can enjoy it too, even though I do of course know that everybody worldwide can see it too – but I would really hate to be a celebrity and famous for real like an actor etc. who have to put up with all this on a regular basis. I´m just not cut out of that….

        The other thing that the press never mention and I talked at length about this in the interview, and which is a large part of my life, is that I support and do work for our local cat charity 9 Lives Lanzarote. One reason why I wanted to do the interview in the first place was because it would bring attention to the charity and help with donations etc., and was not *only* all about me. But then they cut ALL that out completely. I was very disappointed about that, especially after I told everybody that I had made publicity for the charity.

        Anyway, all this taught me not to ever deal with the press again.

        Unless they pay me a shitload next time. Maybe. 😉

        1. You have not answered about Madeleine McCann and Find Madeleine, Barbarella. Will you be joining with me to support dear Gerry and Kate in their efforts to find their beloved daughter? Please answer and please support.

          1. Sorry, I seriously do not have more time or energy for other causes and projects. I have work too and I´m chronically ill and can only handle so much and doing work for the animals locally (cats mostly, but dogs too) takes up quite a lot of my time already. Read my comment to Denis Aitley below and I hope it makes sense to you…. Thanks for asking though!

      1. Instead of blabbering about your bloody cats why don’t you do something to help starving and homeless people?

        1. Each one of us has a choice of what causes we want to help with – for some it´s children, others help the elderly or disabled, gay rights, the environment, or animals etc. etc. You can only do *so much*! Whatever choice *you* make to support a cause, I respect that, whatever the cause is. I have chosen to put my energies into helping starving and homeless street cats, getting them neutered/spayed in particular… like I said in a previous comment, the press totally failed to say anything about my animal charity work.

  3. barbarella, ich habe dich lange im internet gesucht und nun wiedergefunden auf deinen seiten!…ich bin sehr stolz auf dich, auf das was du aus deinem leben gemacht hast und das du immer noch so wild bist wie früher …vielleicht erinnerst du dich?….ganz lieben gruß aus hannover von “püppi” 🙂

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