Norman Balon

“London’s rudest landlord” enjoyed causing offence more than anything else. Following on from his father’s purchase of the lease of Soho’s The Coach & Horses pub in 1943 Norman “You’re Barred” Balon worked there and then later, as landlord, presided over “prostitutes, gays, lesbians and a bit of the theatre community”. When a visiting rugby player asked for a Snakebite, his response was: “We don’t do cocktails here. Get out!” A Sikh customer was asked: “You’re not a fackin’ Muslim are you?” When he answered no, the bombastic landlord answered: “All right, you can stay then”. Balon states he chose to retire in 2006 “because all my customers are my age and one by one they’re dropping off their bar stools” before concluding that he hoped more of them would die abroad as then he’d be able to avoid “the cheap shit they serve at wakes”. The hospitality industry (sadly) doesn’t allow for the existence of characters like this anymore.

The Roll Call - WILDCARDS

1

Evelyn McHale (1923 – 1947)

2

‘Mr Black Lives Matter’

3

Gabriel and Sarah A. Chrisman

4

Eileen Gray (1878 – 1976, née Eileen Smith)

5

Robert Adam

6

Lady Ridsdale DBE (1921 – 2009, née Victoire Bennett)

7

Bob Marshall-Andrews QC

8

Charlot Malin (1969 – 2017)

9

Baba Vanga (баба Ванга, AKA ‘Nostradamus from the Balkans’, 1911 – 1996)

10

Mr Make a Big Issue

11

Mary Millington (marital name Mary Maxted, born Mary Quilter, 1945 – 1979)

12

Sir Ken Adam OBE (born Klaus Adam, 1921 – 2016)

13

Will and Calum Thompson (AKA “The Eat Wild Boys”)

14

Arthur Woodham

15

Hannah Wick

16

Daniel Lismore

17

John Patrick Hannan

18

Max Whitlock (nicknamed “Maxi”)

19

Kelly Killoren Bensimon

20

Lee Miller (Lady Penrose, born Elizabeth Miller, 1907 – 1977)

21

Ted Richards

22

Victoria Pendleton CBE (married name Victoria Gardner)

23

Christopher Mason

24

Bonnie Lee Bakley (1956 – 2001)

25

Gino D’Acampo

26

Gillian Clarke (1941 – 2015)

27

Francesco Macera

28

Nicholas Loeb

29

Reverend Robert Parker

30

Gillian Duffy

31

David Hallberg

32

Ruthann Aron (AKA “Ruth Aron”, née Ruthann Greenzweig)

33

Lady Alice, Lady Eliza and Lady Violet Manners (AKA “The No Manners Girls”)

34

Topsy Taylor (born Lesley Taylor)

35

Peter Dinklage

36

Olivier Sarkozy and Mary-Kate Olson

37

Nina Campbell

38

Crispin Baynes

39

Bill Martin MBE (born William Wylie MacPherson)

40

Henry Blofeld OBE (AKA “Blowers”, “Tycoon” and “Typhoon”)

41

Emma Sayle

42

Nancy Cunard (1896 – 1965)

43

Elliot Bssila

44

Joudie Kalla

45

Ross O’Connell Jennings

46

Alexa Jago

47

Claire Zambuni

48

Amanda Eliasch (née Amanda Brown)

49

Charlie Anson

50

Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac

51

Jeremy Lloyd OBE (1930 – 2014)

52

Sandra Howard, Lady Howard (née Sandra Paul)

53

Anne Naysmith (1937 - 2015, AKA “The Rag Lady of Chiswick”)

54

Claudine Longet

55

The Fantasy Cyclist

56

Sarah, Duchess of York (AKA “Fergie”, née Sarah Ferguson)

57

Fredrik Eklund

58

Sir Gerald Nabarro (AKA “Old Whiskers” and “The Abominable Showman”, 1913 – 1973)

59

Lord Bell (Tim Bell, Baron Bell of Belgravia)

60

Teresa Gorman

61

Julia Child (1912 – 2004)

62

Keith Floyd (1943 – 2009)

63

Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart VC, KBE, CB, CMG, DSO (1880 – 1963)

64

Dan Bilzerian (AKA "Blitz")

65

Cognac Wellerlane

66

Thai Dang Cao (1953 – 2014)

67

Craig Brazier

68

Alejandro Flores

69

Doris Thompson

70

Gloria Minghella MBE (AKA “the Queen Mum of the Isle of Wight”, 1930 – 2014)

71

Clarissa Dickson Wright (1947 – 2014)

72

Wayne Bryson

73

Mary The Elephant (AKA ‘Murderous Mary’)

74

Fred Dibnah MBE (1938 – 2004)

75

Emeritus Professor Jane Somerville

76

Russell Brand

77

Cindy Crawford

78

Lady Camilla Bloch (born Lady Camilla Bingham)

79

Terry Deary

80

Dame Norma Major DBE

81

Jeannette Etheredge

82

Michael “Chalky” White

83

Nubar Gulbenkian (Armenian: Նուբար Սարգիս Գյուլբենկյան, 1896 – 1972)

84

Huguette Clark (1906 – 2011)

85

Viola Herms Drath (1920 – 2011)

86

Ian Towning

87

Ryan Lochte (nicknames 'Reezy' and 'The Lochtenator')

88

Jerry Hall

89

Austin 7 man

90

Martin the Poet

91

The Waitrose Clepto

92

Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart, 18th Duchess of Alba (1926 – 2014)

93

Tim Tebow

94

The Most Hon the Marquess of Bath

95

Judy Joo

96

Toby Flood

97

Justin Timberlake

98

Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan (1971 – 2007 and 1966 – 2007)

99

Norman Balon

100

Bubble (2012 – 2013)

101

Dr. Vanessa Neumann

102

Martin Miller (1946 - 2013)

103

Lady Docker (Norah Docker, née Norah Turner and also Norah Callingham and Lady Collins, 1905 – 1983)

104

Beverly Cohen

105

Patricia Kluge (née Rose)

106

Charmian Brent (better known as Charmian Biggs)

107

David Nalbandian

108

April Ashley MBE (born Toni Jamieson)

109

Scott Disick

110

Andrew Embiricos (1985 – 2011)

111

Shireen Ritchie, The Rt. Hon. The Baroness Ritchie (1945 - 2012)

112

Eugene Carokis

113

Anouska Hempel (Lady Weinberg)

114

Joseph "Joey" Barton

115

Neil & Christine Hamilton

116

Iris Apfel

117

Marisa Masters (1925 – 2016)

NO COMMENTS

  1. It was Jeffery Bernard who made him really famous via his Spectator Low Life column. He may have been rude, but he ran an efficient pub where the staff were polite and quick to serve you. Characters and boozers like these are part of disappearing Soho as it becomes increasingly bland.

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