Deal? What Deal?


Theresa May comes under attack from all sides in Parliament as Speaker Bercow calls “mostly hardline Brexiteers”


On Wednesday in Parliament, the nigh on friendless glaring vicar’s daughter Theresa MaybeNOT attempted to persuade MPs that she has managed to broker an “absolutely clear” Brexit deal.


Near to her sat Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom bizarrely dressed as a cross between Barbie and Katie Price and whilst Jeremy Corbyn responded calling what she’d ‘achieved’ a “worst of all worlds” and a “blindfold Brexit,” it was Speaker Bercow who “mischievously” (according to Sky News’ John Craig) “called mostly hardline Brexiteers.”


Amongst the this time full chamber, Keith Vaz fell asleep and Peter Bone sat angrily considering, no doubt, what the former Mrs Bone might think. Some MPs sat texting, Boris Johnson “bobbed up and down” and Justine Greening, equally, turned on the PM. She sensibly remarked: “If the meaningful vote is lost, the only option is to go back to the people. I think young people would like to be listened to.”


For May it was another tough outing in a House of Commons that was not supporting her and one where Corbyn actually came across rather well. Whilst she simply spouted the same old meaningless platitudes, he summed it all up: “Chequers has been chucked,” he suggested and added: “Here is a half-baked deal that just shows a Conservative Party arguing with itself rather than actually negotiating to get the best for Britain.”


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Theresa Villiers simply looked like Cruella de Vil in a thoroughly ghastly outfit.
Angela Eagle asked: “What happened to frictionless trade?”
Dominic Grieve took on his own leader and stated: “The people have never been consulted on the backstop. You should your ‘deal’ to the people.”
Iain Duncan Smith sat looking bored and tortoise like. He remarked: “Whilst we appreciate your endeavors… For all the effort this is not a withdrawal deal.”
Chuka Umunna pointed out that this ‘deal’ gives no certainties to our businesses.
Boris Johnson blabbered on and commented: “This gives the EU a continuing veto. We should junk forthwith the backstop that makes a complete nonsense of Brexit.”
Peter Bone simply looked angry.
The scene in the House of Commons.
Keith Vaz fell asleep.
Speaker Bercow repeatedly kept telling MPs to “give up and be quiet, behave yourselves.”
The Steeple Times
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  1. To the MPS. Nobody else wanted the Prime Ministers job or offered serious assistance to her to negotiate an effective UK exit from Europe so what is now the problem guys (and gals). You all should be supporting her in what has and is one of the toughest jobs since WW2 when Britain had to take on an occupied Europe to secure freedom.

  2. I’m afraid they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. Theresa maybe or could be, needs to bog off now, we need a leader at the helm that can take control, earn some respect, and get some shit together. England used to be Great Britain, there’s nothing great about it now, it’s going to the dogs.
    Why can’t we just have leaders that can make a decision FFS.


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