Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.
Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris).
Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”
Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she has utterly nothing new to say.
Avocados and a “lack of British chefs in the kitchens” get the goat of out-of-touch British peers just as Norman Fowler calls for their numbers to be cut.
Auction to blow-up Donald Trump in 2021 commences online for charity; the opportunity to implode is expected to sell for £375,000 and porn star Stormy Daniels is trying to get involved.
Jobsworth Robert Jenrick announces estate agents CAN take potential virus spreaders into peoples’ homes even in Tier 4 lockdown areas; a QUARTER of donations to the Tory party come from the property sector.
Prince Andrew and his daughter’s dining habits – and the tall tales about did-he-or-didn’t-he go to Pizza Express (Woking branch) – get this dopey dork-like pair into hot water yet again.
